90 replies to this topic

[Amester0120]

Some of my favorites from last season that I can think of:

Tim: I should know better than to ask if you're shittin me.
(I think that was Tim it might have been Raylan.)

Raylan: (throws a bullet on Wynn Duffy) Next one's gonna be coming faster.

Raylan: They pull the curtain back, turns out the guys kind of a pussy.

Dewey*: Oh shit. You mean I had four kidneys?
*Thanks AimingforYoko! My bad

Quarles: Oh shit it's a piggy bank!

Winona: I found the gun.
Raylan: You touch it?
Winona: What am I, an asshole?


And from tonight:
Boyd: No one ever said running a criminal enterprise was gonna be this hard.
Ava: They left that part out on career day.

Raylan: You ever hear of the saying "you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

Edited by Amester0120, Jan 9, 2013 @ 7:34 PM.

[smallaxe0217]

Raylan: Me and dead owls don't give a hoot.

[DuckyinKy]

Who can forget the meal-time prayer at Raylan gave at Boyd's camp to his followers:

Dear Lord, before we eat this meal we ask forgiveness for our sins, especially Boyd- who blew up a black church with a rocket launcher, and afterwards he shot his associate Jared Hale in the back of the head out on Tate's Creek bridge. Let the image of Jared's brain matter on that windshield not dampen our appetites, but may the knowledge of Boyd's past sins help guide these men. May this food provide them with all the nourishment they need. But, if it does not, may they find comfort in knowing that the United States Marshal Service is offering fifty-thousand dollars to any individual providing information that will put Boyd back in prison. Cash or check, we can make it out to them. Or to Jesus. Whoever they want. In your name, we pray. Amen.

[babyblackcat]

Raylan "That's a 10 gallon hat on a 20 gallon head."

Duffy: "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to watching women's tennis."

I think my favorite funny Raylan one is "I'm just going to file that under who gives a shit." At least once a day I want to use that one. But his coolest one is definitely "Next one's coming faster."

Boyd to Dickie: "You understand, the less I hear from you the better."

So many of the best one liners last season were at Quarles' expense, but I think my favorite might be Duffy saying he had a big baby head.

[TiffanyNichelle]

My favorite Tim line:

Tim: "I live for this shit. This shit makes me hard."
Raylan: "Well then we've both been warned."

Oh Tim.

Edited by TiffanyNichelle, Jan 9, 2013 @ 12:05 PM.

[benteen]

Season 2, Judge Reardon to Winona...

"I know fifty men in this building that'd pay good money to sniff your gym clothes."

Just the creepy nature of the line and Winona being unable to muster up any response to it makes it classic.

[Navin]

From last night's premiere, "She just flashed me her titties and scooted out the back."

[AimingforYoko]

Dixie: Oh shit. You mean I had four kidneys?

That would be Dewey. Dewey Crowe. I'm gonna miss that moron this season.

Raylan: Me and dead owls don't give a hoot.

From that same ep:
"It's in the greater Lexington area of kiss my ass."

[Freckles101]

It's not quite as funny without the visual, but: "Okay, well, I’m on assignment by the federal government. You’re a hired gun thug for a crooked company. Now, the only thing we're on the same side of is like, this car."

Raylan: Honestly, I think I'd rather stick my dick in a blender.
Art: Well that might solve a few problems.

That conversation and Art's continued annoyance with Raylan sleeping with witnesses will always crack me up.

Raylan: Do you know what that is? That’s the world’s smallest man playing “My Heart Bleeds For You” on a tiny violin.

[johntfs]

Raylan, From Season 2, to the pedophile he's just soaked in gasoline who's just pulled a gun: Excuse me, but do you know how a fire arm works?

[AimingforYoko]

Also from Season 2 (Blaze of Glory, the one where Winona gets caught up in a bank robbery):

Raylan: You know where I'm from, asshole?
Carter: No.
Raylan: Harlan County.
Carter: So?
Raylan:(punches Carter) Down there we know the difference between dynamite and road flares.

[ElectricBoogalo]

Joe: I can guess who you are, at least which team you play for, all of which indicates that you're not gonna shoot me.
Raylan: No. I ain't. [shoots airbag]

Boyd: Take care of [Hiram].
Colton: [shoots Hiram in the head]
Boyd: What in the heck did you do that for?!
Colton: You said to take care of him.
Boyd: I meant cut him loose!
Colton: ...Ohhhhhh. Shit.
Boyd: Well, I guess I'll have to be more careful with my words.

[babyblackcat]

Mags: "Now I have to hurt Coover. And I like Coover."

Art: "You're like the hillbilly whisperer. We oughta put you on Oprah."

Duffy: "Deputy, are you accusing me of being a fake blonde? Because if you need me to prove it to you I might be inclined to break you over that step-ladder, ride you down like a teaser-pony and paint this room in entirely different color."

[bossysheryl]

Raylan: "Well, shit. This means I'm gonna have to go save Dickie Bennett."

[lynnea6]

A couple more from 3.8:

Raylan: The S.S. Quarles is going under. You best swim like hell to get clear or the whirlpool will take you down with it.
Wynn: I believe they disproved that on Mythbusters.


Raylan: How'd you know that?
Tim: I'm good at my job.

Edited by lynnea6, Jan 11, 2013 @ 10:50 AM.

[Atomic Clock]

Well, it won't be a surprise if this turns out to be the longest thread on the forum.

Here's one of my favorite quotes that they are now using to advertise the Justified DVD's. Heard it on Pandora last night and my ears perked up.

Robert Quarles: "I'm gonna kill you, Raylan. Maybe not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday, you'll be walking down the street and I'm gonna put a bullet right in the back of your skull and yer gonna drop."

The edited preview version differs from what actually happened in the episode, so I won't include it here.

And let's not forget Mags' rattlesnake line: "It was already in the glass, not in the jar."

And finally, what would a quotes thread be without plenty of Art: "...Unless, of course, you roofied me. Did you roofie me, Raylan?"

Edited by Atomic Clock, Jan 11, 2013 @ 12:36 PM.

[thatguy01]

Art arrives at Chez Bennett:

"On the ground, hillbillies!"

[speedroc]

Raylan: “You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole." "You run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

Dewey: Holy shit...you mean I got four kidneys!?

And my favorite from Dewey:

"You might strike out the shepherd, but us sheep, we will never get struck out. Or scattered.

Edited by speedroc, Jan 11, 2013 @ 2:47 PM.

[ChipBach]

Raylan: "I figured people have a right to their hobbies and I have a right to find those people creepy"

Karl Hanselman: "Next time you're in Cincinnati, come by the gallery. I'll show you my collection. I think you'll be quite surprised."
Raylan: "Honestly, I'd rather stick my dick in a blender."
Art Mullen: "Well, that would solve a few problems."

Raylan: "Sometimes, we have to make deals with lowlifes because we have our sights set on life forms even somehow lower on the ladder of lowlife than they."

Raylan: "Now Arlo, use your words."

Raylan: "I shot people I like more for less."

Raylan: "Art, I've got a daddy."
Art: "Yeah, I've met your daddy."
Raylan: "Fair enough, continue."

Art (to Raylan): "Next time you tell me you're not good at something, I'm gonna believe you."

Limehouse: "You ever had shoe fly pie?"
Quarles: "No, but judging by the name, I'm sure it's delicious."

Raylan: "Boyd I've been to Mexico, I don't think you'd like it."
Boyd: "How so?"
Raylan: "There's a lot of Mexicans."

Raylan: "I can only imagine how hard it has been for you to get where you are in the Marshal service"
Rachel: "Because I'm black or because I'm a woman?"
Raylan: "Because you're an idiot."

Bartender: "Wouldn't it be easier just to buy a new hat?"
Raylan: "Probably, but I ain't looking for easy."

Edited by ChipBach, Jan 11, 2013 @ 9:03 PM.

[SJ82]

"You might strike out the shepherd, but us sheep, we will never get struck out. Or scattered.

And Raylan's classic response:

"Or words to that effect."

Edited by SJ82, Jan 11, 2013 @ 9:12 PM.

[PictureItSicily]

Art: ...Are you cold standin' out here?
Raylan: Not really, why?
Art: 'Cause I can't keep from starin' at your nipples!

Classic Art. Nick Searcy rocks.

[taiko]

Homicide Detective: "you threw a bullet at him?"

Deputy Givens: "I told him next time it would be moving as bit faster"

[Blue32]

I loved this:

Boyd (to Johnny Crowder, in Season 1): Truth always sounds like lies to a sinner.

Hiram (to Boyd, in the Season 4 premiere): Truth always sounds like lies to a sinner!

[supposebly]

I know it's been mentioned but it bears repeating.

Words to live by:
"you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

I wonder if Raylan realizes that this applies to him as well?

[speedroc]

Wynn: "But I don't even trust the way you said, 'You can trust me.'"

Boyd: "I thought we were a circle."

Boyd to Duffy: "I'll have my secretary make an appointment, and get back to you."
Duffy: "That's mighty christian of you."

That entire scene between them was one of the best bits of dialogue in the series.

Edited by speedroc, Jan 16, 2013 @ 12:00 AM.

[babyblackcat]

Ma Truth: "They don't look like perverts." Looks at Art. "Well, maybe that one."

[Navin]

From the pilot episode:

Deputy Tim Gutterson: ...two white males drove up in a dark SUV, they parked at that corner by the curb, one male got out with what looked like a bazooka, said a few words, and then fired at the church.

Raylan Givens: What'd he say? This fella that got out of the SUV?

Tim: One said it was "Liars and Hoes", another heard "Time to go"...my favorite's "Hi-de-hi-de-hi-de-ho."

Raylan: Great. We should put out an APB on Cab Calloway.

Tim: I think he's dead.

Raylan: Then he should be easy to find.

[ChipBach]

Wynn: "But I don't even trust the way you said, 'You can trust me.'"

Boyd: "I thought we were a circle."

I thought the exchange was between Boyd and Shelby Parlow (Jim Beaver) when Shelby said "This makes us square"?

[ElectricBoogalo]

Art: On a scale from one to a shitload?

[AimingforYoko]

Raylan: So how bad is he, heads in a duffel bag or just an asshole?