When Tom & Sybil arrive at DA, Tom is very tense and uncomfortable, and uncertain if he is even welcome. It seems like Downton Abbey is pretty much the last place Tom wants to be, but he is there because it was important to Sybil to see her family and attend her sisterís wedding. After they are greeted, Sybil hugs her mother and the two of them walk toward the house arm-in-arm. Tom smiles as he watches them go, and looks very happy for Sybil. When Tom says ďDonít disappoint me, not now that weíre hereĒ, I get the impression (reading between the lines here) that perhaps they discussed the trip and how uncomfortable he would be among the Crawleys but he still wanted to go for her sake. I can image Sybil telling him that she didnít give a fig if he dressed for dinner or expressed his political views. Then they get to DA and Sybil is all, letís go to town and buy you some tails with some of my family money and please stop expressing your views about Ireland. He found that disappointing and he told her so, she backed off, and they kissed. (FTR, I do believe that Sybil was sincere when she said she just wanted to make things easier for him.)
I do think Tom is very conflicted about his feelings for the Crawleys. He says so when heís speaking to Matthew the night before the wedding when he says how odd it is to be discussing saving the estate when previously he would have wanted to put a bomb under the lot of them. Despite his views on the English aristocracy he really does want to be accepted by Sybilís family and is very touched by Matthewís gestures of friendship, Violet wanting him to attend the wedding with Sybil, and even Robert seemingly accepting him on the morning of the wedding.
I was disappointed that they didnít show Tom & Sybil discussing how Tom had been accepted by the family far more than certainly he expected. Iím sure this meant a lot to both Tom and Sybil. I would have liked to have seen them discuss it, perhaps in the car as they were leaving DA. I even think it would have been nice if it had been Sybil with Mary (talking with her as Tom talked to Matthew) when Matthew and Tom came to Maryís door. I would have liked it if Sybil and Tom had worked together both knowing (as the more experienced married couple) that their argument seemed big but wasnít big when two people are meant to be together, just as Tom said.
My favorite scene is when Violet and Isobel bulldoze Tom into the morning coat. I liked that when Matthew came in Violet said that Tom had no choice about it, nor did Matthew. It made it clear that Violet wasnít forcing Tom into the morning coat because she felt he was still an inferior that she could give orders to; rather she and Isobel as elders of the family expect the younger generation, including the future Earl of Grantham, to comply.
Edited by absolutelyido, Jan 13, 2013 @ 8:05 PM.