OK, let's think about this realistically and give bonus points to eye candy, we'll force them in somewhere no matter what (which is how many an All-Star was cast to begin with (Amber, Candice, Danielle, etc.). I'll be ignoring the people who would obviously never come back (Colleen, Greg, etc.)
So let's start with people I would enjoy/not mind seeing again:
PhilippinesDenise
Malcolm
One WorldKim
Kat's kind of amusing
Troy
Chelsea if we need hotness
South PacificSophie
Dawn
Rick's Moustache (not the rest of him, just the 'stache)
Redemption IslandAndrea
Andrea
Andrea
Maybe Mike, we'll see if he's needed
NicaraguaBrenda if we need an emergency jump in hotness
Marty
SamoaNatalie
Jaison
Dave Ball
TocantinsFishbach
Erinn
Taj
GabonNobody
MicronesiaTracy (stretching things as she was out early)
ChinaPeih-Gee
Frosti
FijiEarl
Michelle
And I have a weird fascination with Boo, so let's mention him
Cook IslandsI like Becky, dammit.
Yul, obviously.
Exile IslandBob Dawg in a severe emergency
Also, screw it, Misty, who I still think is the single hottest woman the show's ever cast
GuatemalaDanni
Brian
PalauIan
Gregg
VanuatuChris
Twila
So want to invite Eliza despite her All-Star appearance
Pearl IslandsNoooooope
AmazonNoooooope
ThailandHeidik
Helen
MarquesasNope
AfricaNope
AustraliaNope
BorneoNope
So that's a bunch of names.
Men (17)
Heidik
Chris
Ian
Gregg
Brian (Guatemala)
Bob Dawg (emergency)
Yul
Earl
Boo
Frosti
Fischbach
Jaison
Dave Ball
Marty
Mike
Malcolm
Troy
Obvious heroes:
Yul
Earl
Malcolm
Obvious villians:
Heidik
The heroes team with Yul and Malcolm is already pretty athletic, so let's find two relatively unathletic heroes:
Fishbach, Brian; this eliminates Mike from consideration. Also Frosti.
As for the villains
Let's say Chris is a villain, as is Dave Ball. Then we'll add Ian for some athleticism and claim that he totally betrayed Tom so is a villain (the show's justifications are bullshit, so so are mine). Probably want one more athletic dude to be a villain. Sooooo Troy,Gregg or Boo? Let's go Troy, as he fits the theme better.
Now, women (19):
Helen
Twila
Danni
Misty
Becky
Michelle
Peih-Gee
Tracy
Taj
Erinn
Natalie
Brenda
Andrea
Sophie
Dawn
Denise
Kim
Chelsea
Kat
OK, so, we need hot chicks, as this is Survivor. Probably a minimum of four:
Qualifiers: Andrea, Natalie, Brenda, Danni (at least if you don't let her near makeup), Chelsea, Kat; Misty if it was absolutely needed; I don't think it is. I'd even rather see her than Brenda, Kat, or Chelsea, but she was third out...
Heroes:
Andrea
Danni
Villains
Brenda
Natalie stole the win from the show's favorite Russell? Or was allied with Russell? Let's even things out.
Then who else do we want cast:
Kim
Michelle (the show owes her)
Erinn
Peih-Gee
This is skewing super young, so let's add:
Helen
Taj (who I like more than Twila)
Giving us a team of heroes of:
Andrea
Danni
Kim
Michelle
Helen
Villains
Brenda
Natalie
Taj
Peih-Gee
Erinn
I don't like that, among other things, the heroes are
loaded for challenges. Andrea/Danni/Kim would absolutely dominate. Erinn and Peih-Gee are no slouches, but this is unfair. Let's decide that Kim is a villain arbitrarily. And we'll make Taj a hero in return.
Final teams:
HeroesYul (Cook Islands)
Earl (Fiji)
Malcolm (Philippines)
Fishbach (Tocantins)
Brian (Guatemala)
Andrea (Redemption Island)
Danni (Guatemala)
Taj (Tocantins)
Michelle (Fiji)
Helen (Thailand)
VillainsBrenda (Nicaragua)
Natalie (Samoa)
Kim (One World)
Peih-Gee (China)
Erinn (Tocantins)
Heidik (Thailand)
Chris (Vanuatu)
Dave Ball (Samoa)
Ian (Palau)
Troy (One World)
Maybe some issues with pre-existing alliances on the Heroes, but whatever. I think the Heroes are also a little too strong in challenges, with Yul and Malcolm being the two most athletic guys and Andrea and Danni being the most athletic women. I'll deal with that. Also I didn't really go with equal opportunity eye candy so ladies are stuck with Yul and Malcolm, basically. Also Ian if you're into super tall nerds.
Edited by enlightenedbum, Dec 19, 2012 @ 12:11 AM.