88 replies to this topic

[dreamy]

For those Starting Over fans who miss standing in their truth, this may not be life-changing, but it should be very snark-worthy. Starts tonight on OWN.

By the way, if anyone comes up with a better title, as I'm sure many of you will, I'm certainly in favor of changing it.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Wow, did that suck. Just call an insufferable browbeater an insufferable browbeater. I was really bored and apparently nothing came of the family intervention anyway, so what was the point? Iyanla seems to be trying to tone it down, but to no avail. And that New Age nonsense is so freaking ridiculous. Oprah, no wonder OWN is going down the crapper.

[drivethroo]

1. The granddaughter really didn't want to reconcile with the mom. Why she contacted Iyanla's show, I don't know. I think she wanted Iyanla to give her permission to dump her mom and she didn't give her that permission.

2. The mom thinks she is owed a mother/child relationship b/c she gave birth to the girl, and doesn't realize you can't be an absentee parent for 30 years and pop up and expect hugs & kisses.

3. Gramma needs to stay out of the mom/daughter whatever b/c that's none of her business, just like the Gramma/granddaughter relationship is none of the mom's business.

I'm not sure what to think of this therapy going on in front of a studio audience, but if she likes it, I love it. I will be tuning in Saturday to see her tell Evelyn of Basketball Wives that she's been rewarded for being a THUG-AH among women.

[Morbs]

The granddaughter really didn't want to reconcile with the mom. Why she contacted Iyanla's show, I don't know. I think she wanted Iyanla to give her permission to dump her mom and she didn't give her that permission.

Yeah, I kept thinking, "Why is she even trying?". That she wanted permission to cut her out of her life is a good theory.

Iyanla reminds me of a T.V psychic. She gets some backstory, figures out what buttons to push with her clients, shouts slogans and key words and then changes her tone to sympathetic to seem like she really cares, and they just eat it up.

[dreamy]

Well. hell, I started this thread, so I can't really bail, can I? But I don't know if I can keep up with this even for potential snarking. Too bad I'm not a real drinker, because the repetition of key phrases really provides an opportunity to get a good buzz on.

1. The granddaughter really didn't want to reconcile with the mom. Why she contacted Iyanla's show, I don't know. I think she wanted Iyanla to give her permission to dump her mom and she didn't give her that permission.

I have to say, the mom seemed really needy to me 'say you love me. No, say it like you mean it. Like you really mean it. Give me a hug. A better hug! I don't feel it. No, you have to try harder.' Gah!

And Iyanla, projecting much? "This is MY story."

[Auntie Anxiety]

She gets some backstory, figures out what buttons to push with her clients, shouts slogans and key words

And all roads lead back to Iyanla and her own life experiences. Ugh! If you listen closely, none of her little homilies makes any sense at all, just words that sound meaningful being strung together. Snake oil, anyone?

I guess the way she yells and screams and goes so over the top might appeal to some part of the general population, but I find it bullying and out of line. I do have to say, her seal clapping never gets old. And yes, she still strongly resembles Shrek's donkey.

[tootyfruity]

I have tried several times to like Iyanla but she rubs me the wrong way.....Snake Oil as one poster said !

[BitterApple]

Iyanla reminds me of a T.V psychic. She gets some backstory, figures out what buttons to push with her clients, shouts slogans and key words and then changes her tone to sympathetic to seem like she really cares, and they just eat it up.

THIS x 1000!!!! She is just so oily and disingenuous. I'm surprised Oprah gave her a show after their big falling out some years back.

[snowbunny54]

What a snake oil salesman. Yech. Iyanla sure messed up her own life. She took O's silver spoon and all that came with it and wasted it all. Now, she is giving life advice?

She reminds me of a few lines in a song that came out in the early 1970s called Sunshine (Go Away Today) by Jonathan Edwards. "He can't even run his own life...I'll be dammned if he'll run mine!"

[Methadonna]

And Iyanla, projecting much? "This is MY story."

Well, of course: The Great Mother Fucker returns, and we cannot forget that this is the woman who not only blamed her daughter for her own [the daughter's] cancer/not surviving it but used it as the ultimate object lesson to teach her Starting Over counselees/prisoners of what could happen if they, too, did not let go of the Stress or Hate or Whatever Bad in their lives, because it, too, could turn to poison in their souls and, as we've now learned from TGMF Donkey, Poison In The Soul = Daughter-Killing Fatal Cancer or other illness for which you can blame the patient since, if she only Did The Work, she'd be healed. Fuck you, Great Mother. [I didn't realize the hate was just as strong as it was back when she tied up her SO resident who was dealing with her past sexual abuse or all of the other abuse she inflicted on those women as she threw techniques and feces at the wall to see what stuck. Damn. Such anger, so toxic, guess that's why I'm still a cripple and stuff].

If Oprah would, at least, run this with an opening disclaimer that said, "I do not support or believe a single thing out of this lunatic Great Motherfucker's mouth, but I have to pay the bills and it actually cost less to make these episodes than pay for the rights to run yet another set of PoPo of Broward County reruns," it would bother me a lot less. Hypocrite.

Ooh, hey, there's my OWN programming idea for ya, Opes: OWN needs its OWN cartoon! A quirky little program, Donkey and Hypocrite:
Follow the adventures of these two animated characters as they yell, shriek, bend with the wind [and/or their audience's, producers', and/or lawyers' suggestion], and throw things, sharing their wisdom, both earthly and divine. And, of course, because it helps
show off their wisdom--of the Earth and Divine--
Donkey and Hypocrite always Speak in Rhyme.

[Daisy80]

I'm surprised Oprah gave her a show after their big falling out some years back.

During Oprah's last season of her show Iyanla came on pretty much begging for Oprah's forgiveness, I guess the begging worked! That should be the title of this board I think.

I never did like her on Starting Over. Without even knowing "her story" she grated on my nerves. Why anyone would hire this woman to guide them with anything is beyond me.

[Auntie Anxiety]

The Great Mother Fucker returns, and we cannot forget that this is the woman who not only blamed her daughter for her own [the daughter's] cancer/not surviving it but used it as the ultimate object lesson to teach her Starting Over counselees/prisoners of what could happen if they, too, did not let go of the Stress or Hate or Whatever Bad in their lives, because it, too, could turn to poison in their souls and, as we've now learned from TGMF Donkey, Poison In The Soul = Daughter-Killing Fatal Cancer or other illness for which you can blame the patient since, if she only Did The Work, she'd be healed.

Come on, Methadonna, tell us what you really think!

Actually, you've now unleashed my fury, and I will address myself to TGMF:
You are a fucking asshole. I have had three different cancers in the last four years. I did nothing to deserve being sick. I didn't give myself HPV that caused my cervical cancer, thank you very much. You can speak to my ex-husband about that and make sure to ask him about his serial adultery, okay? I didn't deserve Hodgkin's lymphoma and I didn't deserve to get leukemia, which was a result of being treated for the first cancer. How dare you.

Iyanla isn't insightful and she isn't smart. There is an underlying anger (which she would deny) and a meanness to her "counseling" which is right under the surface. She really needs to do The Work.

Ugh! Who they hell buys what she's selling? How could anyone be fooled into thinking she's some New Age guru, when, in fact, she's a narcissistic wench who exploits anyone who allows themselves to be exploited.

[azure4]

During Oprah's last season of her show Iyanla came on pretty much begging for Oprah's forgiveness, I guess the begging worked!

Yeah, I remember. She spent all her money, it didn't work out with Barbara Walters, her man is gone, so time to call Oprah. Disappointed O fell for that bullshit. Iyanla is an obvious charlatan. Her head is so fucked up; it's amazing she's advising anyone.

[Shortcake2001]

I will be tuning in Saturday to see her tell Evelyn of Basketball Wives that she's been rewarded for being a THUG-AH among women.

That is all I want to watch happen. It is apparently the only truthful thing that has come out of Iyanla's mouth. I don't care about Iyanla, as I knew all about her and her phony therapy talk. Evelyn Lozada is so stupid, she doesn't even know that about Iyanla. I just want to see her get her ass handed to her on a plate.

The way Iyanla talks, she reminds me of that character on "In Living Color" played by Damon Wayans. He was a prisoner who would spout a sermon like Louis Farrakhan and throwing in a bunch of made up words.

Edited by Shortcake2001, Sep 12, 2012 @ 5:11 PM.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Anyone care to place a bet on the number of men that Iyanla will be "counseling" on the show? Because I pick,hmm, let's see, zero. I was thinking about this show and Starting Over (memo to self: Get a hobby.) and realized that I've never seen her talking to a man about anything. I've got to believe that it's because she thinks a man is more likely to call her out on her very special brand of b.s. Yes, it is on the Estrogen Network, but still.

Something about the Evelyn Lozada domestic abuse case just doesn't smell right to me, like there are some missing puzzle pieces.

[dreamy]

That's a good bet, Auntie A. Before I place a bet, however, we'd have to have a determination for how long this show will actually be on the air. I can't imagine this is going to be a hit.

[azure4]

got to believe that it's because she thinks a man is more likely to call her out on her very special brand of b.s.

Maybe that’s part of it. But, surely there are lots of women who can see thru her bs and would call her out . . .but viewers will never see that.

(IMO) women who buy into Iyanla’s bs have got to be so insecure, lost, confused, and generally fucked-up that it’s pathetic. Many might be attractive, educated, etc. but – knowing what is known about her – to get relationship advice from this woman . . .?? puhleeze. I also can’t help but wonder if many of those lost souls are choosing to listen to Iyanla vs. giving away all their property/assets and joining a cult.

Edited by azure4, Sep 15, 2012 @ 2:43 PM.

[dreamy]

New York Times review of the show.

I must have been watching a different show.

[Lovepink]

Iyanla is so full of shit.

What are her credentials? She is always spouting some bullshit straight out of a bad self help book. Does she ever get to the root or really work on anything? Or does she just spout meaningless pretty words and have epiphanies for her clients?

[EndoKE]

My problem with her is she seems like a nasty person deep down inside, as if she gets pleasure from seeing women so miserable. I did like it though when she told Evelyn that she's paid to be a " thug among women".

[Auntie Anxiety]

My problem with her is she seems like a nasty person deep down inside, as if she gets pleasure from seeing women so miserable.

I have the same reaction, EndoKE. She's an angry, bitter and very mean person, someone who is so miserable that she enjoys seeing other people miserable as well. She wants everyone to be as miserable as she is.

The article from the NY Times is their typical politically correct ass-kissing and their propping up of an Oprah acolyte. The Times is so in love with the rags-to-riches-to-rags-to-riches redemption arc, but only if it happens to someone whom The Times feels is worthy; therefore, there is no mention of Iyanla's credentials (aka her degree from Close Cover Before Striking University's School of Bullshit) because that doesn't follow their narrative.

Apparently, I never got over my disgust for that charlatan. I believe her verbal diarrhea is dangerous and I am hoping her show is complete and utter failure. Somehow I missed seeing it on my program guide last night. Should I go crawl into my dog's crate as punishment?

[missy jo]

I missed part one, but am watching part two of Evelyn Lozada. I loathe Evelyn, but damn Iyanla, way to blame the victim!

Also, does anyone know when this was filmed and how long after the "headbutting" incident this took place? I'm wondering because I cannot see any mark on Evelyn whatsoever, no matter how hard I look or how close I get to the TV screen! Have we seen photos of Evelyn's injury?

Edited by missy jo, Sep 17, 2012 @ 12:38 AM.

[selhars]

I love the show.Yes, Iyanla made her own mistakes. That doesn't mean she can't see what's happening with others. Lots of us have our own blind spots about ourselves, but can see another person's situation very clearly.

I see nothing wrong with her asking Evelyn: "what about YOU made you make such bad mistakes, mary a man you knew cheated on you, and act like an absolute fool on TV?" To me it's not blaming the victim, It's getting the person so have SOME modicum of awareness about how vapid their life is and how utterly disrespectful they've been to themselves. People like her are so far gone from being in touch with how they feel -- you NEED to smack them in the face and say get real stop the excuses. I still don't think she fully gets what a real mess she is.

Next week will be interesting. The mom who didn't tell her son about his father.

So far the first teaser show about the daughter mother and grandmother -- and the Evelyn show -- featured people who really did need to get real.
I would also like to see some people whose relationships aren't quite so fractured....who know what they do and why they do it, who already know their issue and just need a modicum of help -- not a 2-by-4 upside the head.

[kemon]

I loathe Evelyn, but damn Iyanla, way to blame the victim!

I didn't see it that way. I saw it as Iyanla trying to get Evelyn to see she overlooked the many red flags, and there were many, just to get married to that ass. After a little prodding and showing Ev the footage of her crying to Chad and mentioning condoms (this is how Teen Mom should run their reunions), Ev acknowledged she told Chad to buy condoms. So why then blow a head gasket when the asshole buys condoms? Because you thought he would wait a while after marriage before cheating? Get outta here! Why get mad at the guy for doing what you knew he would be doing and what he was doing all along? IMO it is pointing out to Ev the obvious: how she traded any self-respect she had for some asshole. Iyanla was pointing out that by selling out her self-respect, she shouldn't expect that asshole to give her any respect.

IMO Iyanla was merely pointing out the obvious and slamming it into Ev's head for dramatic flair, although I don't mind that she called her a "thug" because it is about time someone called her out on her behavior and if it has to come from Iyanla, so be it.

Edited by kemon, Sep 17, 2012 @ 1:53 PM.

[charmed1]

I didn't see part two. I thought that was coming on this week. The part that I found most offensive was that Chad's kids' names got progressively worse, the younger they were. I kind of want him to keep having them so I can see how many ridiculous variations of his name can be created. I vote for Chadrica and Chadosaurus if they're twins. They were adorable little girls though. The little one who said "I forgive her," was so cute." Not sure I would leave my child in the custody of a raging, bottle throwing beast though.

[EndoKE]

IMO Iyanla was merely pointing out the obvious and slamming it into Ev's head for dramatic flair, although I don't mind that she called her a "thug" because it is about time someone called her out on her behavior and if it has to come from Iyanla, so be it.

I didn't see it as blaming the victim because it's hard for me to see Evelyn as a victim when she has thrown bottles at women, nearly jumped over a table to fight another woman and hit the same woman in the head with her pocketbook. Iyanla, IMO was telling Evelyn that she is getting paid to be a thug on TV and what's that doing to her? From what I have seen of Evelyn on BBW, she's one of those women who wanted to marry a "baller" at all costs. Chad was totally abusive to her on the show, with the cameras rolling; no way would I marry a man who called me, "the last piece of pizza that nobody wants."

[Jade Foxx]

The part that I found most offensive was that Chad's kids' names got progressively worse, the younger they were. I kind of want him to keep having them so I can see how many ridiculous variations of his name can be created.

Thank you for calling a thing a thing!

Grateful I found this board; my feelings about Iyanla aren't very popular among some of my girlfriends - who think she's some kind of great healer for the female psyche.

[kemon]

no way would I marry a man who called me, "the last piece of pizza that nobody wants."

A real man wouldn't say such a thing. That's why Ev got what she got with Chad because she wanted a pro athlete at all costs, even if it meant throwing what any self-respect she ever had out the window for that jackass. The girl didn't have enough self-respect to fill a condom.

Ev bringing up BBW and how her behavior on there should not be a reflection of what Chad did to her. I guess she has been getting a lot of negative feedback from the public. Wow Ev, I wonder why?

[OaklandGirl]

I see nothing wrong with her asking Evelyn: "what about YOU made you make such bad mistakes, mary a man you knew cheated on you, and act like an absolute fool on TV?" To me it's not blaming the victim, It's getting the person so have SOME modicum of awareness about how vapid their life is and how utterly disrespectful they've been to themselves.

This is the gospel truth. When Iyanla told her that she was "being rewarded for being a thug among women," I damn near applauded. I think she got her to see that folks weren't really sympathetic, and some doubted the veracity of her story, due to her own behavior displayed on t.v. The same aggression she showed women was used against her, and, well... nobody likes it when it happens to them.

[EndoKE]

Ev bringing up BBW and how her behavior on there should not be a reflection of what Chad did to her. I guess she has been getting a lot of negative feedback from the public. Wow Ev, I wonder why?

It's not a reflection but I don't think that a well adjusted woman with self respect would even consider marrying a man like Chad. A woman who is physically violent towards others might think that physical violence is okay.