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11-6: "Auditions: Portland" 2012.02.01


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#1

Bleeding Love

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 9:32 PM

I really didn't need to see sick Ben picking his nose/blowing his nose, thank you very much, producers.

#2

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 9:45 PM

The auditions are really dragging for me this year. I don't know if it's because I've finally reached my limit with Idol or if the editing is especially poor for S11 or what. They give out like 50 golden tickets but you see so few auditions and the ones you see aren't extremely good or awful.

Edited by Dejana, Feb 1, 2012 @ 9:46 PM.


#3

areca

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 9:49 PM

OK. Best laugh of the season. 'Who are you? (small blond man?)' Oh my. The FACES. We cackled. Cackled I tell you.

#4

Phan

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 10:15 PM

The auditions are really dragging for me this year.


I agree, and this show is my own personal crack. Luckily, tomorrow's the last audition episode and the Hollywood portion begins next week.

I thought we saw a couple of strong women. I heard some bits in Jessica Phillips voice I liked and some trouble spots. Cool and funky vibe vocally, liked the song choice on her, but she was slightly out of tune at times. Then I remember Lee DeWyze won, so pitch ain't nothing that matters.

That affected hipster girl [eta: yes, I realize that's repetitive] was dead faced during her song (lights are on, no one's home), but had a very lovely voice. It's a shame.

Edited by Phan, Feb 1, 2012 @ 10:19 PM.


#5

tomorrowgirl

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 10:17 PM

I'm so tired of all the backstories and the contestant's chats with Ryan. Out of each hour long show, we don't see much more than 5 minutes of actual auditions.

#6

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 10:56 PM

Man, the first audition seems like it was months ago- I can barely remember any of the people I was impressed by way back then.

I did get a laugh out of the 'perky' Jewish girl in the pink sweater..I thought she was going to be good when she started out, then she went all Broadway on my ass.

#7

Three Foot Six

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 10:58 PM

This is one of the biggest shows in the world...and they misspelled the word "Audition" on the title screen in the first five seconds. I can't even.

#8

Lizard Queen

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Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 11:52 PM

I did get a laugh out of the 'perky' Jewish girl in the pink sweater..I thought she was going to be good when she started out, then she went all Broadway on my ass.


Ah, yes, the "motivational dancer." Snerk.

Of course, when Randy misheard her name as "Gershwin" and she noted that her father's name was Ira, the idiot judges (and the idiot editors who helpfully added a cricket-chirping track to their blank faces) had no idea what she was talking about, because heaven forbid that three music-industry professionals should have heard of Ira Gershwin.

#9

goldensglitter

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 1:20 AM

Three Foot Six, I thought I was seeing things since I just glanced at it.....so you are right, they did misspell. What is the name? Editor???

#10

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 2:25 AM

I am so sick of these single moms and their damn dreams of fame. And this is from someone who voted her fingers off for Crystal. And twenty-seven is too damn old. I had to FF from the instant she was whining about the baby daddy killing her dreams. What. Ever. Some bitches in Hollywood are going to kill her dreams too, trust me.

Funny how J-Lo will vote for the gorgeous chick as long as she's got a couple of rug rats and the mean old man too. When she's the cheerleader, uh, NO.

#11

Dragon Suplex

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 5:27 AM

My sister looked at Ben Harrison and said "Wow, I didn't know Conan and Andy had a baby!"

#12

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 6:45 AM

Funny how J-Lo will vote for the gorgeous chick as long as she's got a couple of rug rats

I thought the girl was OK, not great, and that she was featured pretty much so we got to hear JLo answer all our questions about her own situation: her kids are traveling with her(?), her mother's there to help with them, blah blah.
Didn't the girl also say her ex was a basketball player, and the chyron listed her as 'banker'? So, though she's hardly in JLo territory, money probably isn't a big issue for her.

#13

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 8:52 AM

Of course, when Randy misheard her name as "Gershwin" and she noted that her father's name was Ira, the idiot judges (and the idiot editors who helpfully added a cricket-chirping track to their blank faces) had no idea what she was talking about, because heaven forbid that three music-industry professionals should have heard of Ira Gershwin.


My thoughts exactly. In their efforts to be dickish and make fun of people, they ended up making themselves look like the idiots. Serves them right. And that was after (as posted upthread) they misspelled "Audition." How many people had to watch that footage while they were editing and didn't catch it? It's really mind-boggling how bad that was. And to add to the dick moves, we had to watch some guy blowing his nose--the same footage, repeated? I think this was the worst audition show yet in terms of the juvenile editing and making fun of people.

But agreeing with the post upthread: LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the guy asking Ryan "who are you?" That goes down as one of the best Idol moments ever for me. Hahahaha on you, Ryan! Especially after all of the contestants and parents this season fawning all over him. He totally needed that.

Didn't the girl also say her ex was a basketball player, and the chyron listed her as 'banker'? So, though she's hardly in JLo territory, money probably isn't a big issue for her.


That could mean "bank teller" at the local bank. I don't think she's in the 1% on Wall Street.

I am looking forward to Hollywood. I think the auditions could get by with 4-5 episodes, but 8 is just too damn much.


Yeah, I wish they'd switch it around and do a couple of two-hour shows with the "best of the best" auditions from around the country, and then have more of the Hollywood shows. Those are my favorite episodes (there's something very "Fame" about them), and I like them even more than the regular shows of the season. These audition shows are my least favorite part.

#14

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 9:22 AM

My favorite moment of the entire season thus far: Jennifer Lopez demanding that an underling relinquish her pants. My second favorite moment was Britnee Kellogg asking Jennifer Lopez for her advice on how to cope with the demands of being a single mother. Same situation, those two. Exact same.

Phan: That affected hipster girl [eta: yes, I realize that's repetitive] was dead faced during her song (lights are on, no one's home), but had a very lovely voice.

She should have; it was Brandi Carlile's. Not to say that she couldn't carry a tune, but that was just straight-up mimicry. Used to be that contestants would get called out for that. Not any more, I guess.

Shira: In their efforts to be dickish and make fun of people, they ended up making themselves look like the idiots. Serves them right.

The other thing about that is, in order for anybody to have been all "Haw haw, the judges are funny when they're mean!" right there, they would have to assume that the audience knows who Ira Gershwin was anyway. Otherwise, you're sitting at home saying, "...I don't get it? What's the joke?" So they pretty much set it up only for the judges to look like idiots, intentionally or not.

(Though I personally figure that what we saw was a ham-handed editing joke. I can't imagine that the judges didn't know who Ira Gershwin was, considering they were the ones who misheard her name as "Gershwin" in the first place.)

As for Sam Gershman herself, she was bosomy, to be sure, but she wasn't dressed especially provocatively. Certainly, plenty of other auditioners have called much, MUCH more attention to their chests in the past. So the entire angle of that segment was pretty much the producers just calling out "Look! Boobies!" like fucking 12-year-olds. This show makes us all worse people.

#15

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 9:49 AM

Of course, when Randy misheard her name as "Gershwin" and she noted that her father's name was Ira, the idiot judges (and the idiot editors who helpfully added a cricket-chirping track to their blank faces) had no idea what she was talking about, because heaven forbid that three music-industry professionals should have heard of Ira Gershwin.


They got it, in my opinion. Just how much mileage do you think this girl was trying to get out of having a name somewhat like a famous songwriter. Hey, my father's name is Ira GershMAN, let me through to Hollywood.

The funnier moment, in my opinion, is when Steven said she'd make a good Easter Bunny, and she replied, "But I'm Jewish!"

I am so sick of these single moms and their damn dreams of fame.


Oh My GOD, me, too!!!! I think was bugs me the most is that these "single" mothers come across like they don't know HOW they managed to have babies as though they didn't have a choice in the matter or that they never had sex. Virgin Births of course!

#16

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 10:16 AM

I am so sick of these single moms and their damn dreams of fame. And this is from someone who voted her fingers off for Crystal. And twenty-seven is too damn old. I had to FF from the instant she was whining about the baby daddy killing her dreams. What. Ever. Some bitches in Hollywood are going to kill her dreams too, trust me.


Me too. As soon as she started whining about her old man I thought "bitch, that guy was trying to do you a favor". And if she thinks Jennifer Lopez spends any time actually parenting her children, she's more delusional than the freak-auditioners.

Overall, I think this season's audition rounds have been awful.

1. The contestants who've been good have been, imo, way over-praised. To a cynical ass like me, that starts to create a backlash against those folks.

2. The reduced-number of apparently mentally-challenged contestants was refreshing, but they really need zero tolerance on that front, especially with these judges.

3. The mentally-stable but still freak-show auditions (whether knowingly so or not) are just no fun with these judges either. Randy's got too much of a chip on his shoulder to be an entertaining dick to these contestants. And Steven and Jennifer are more concerned with the "brands" than with making entertaining TV.

4. A silly little sound-effect box is wildly entertaining . . . if it's 1968 and we're watching Laugh-In. Otherwise, spare us, please.

I hope the Hollywood rounds get more entertaining, but with the bagillion contestants they've let through the audition rounds I'm not optimistic.

#17

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 11:03 AM

I like a few of the crappy auditions. I don't like it when the crappy auditions are the vast majority of the show or take forever. Ben's audition was just ridiculous. Why waste that much time making fun of the guy? Show it but let it take a minute or so.

They gave out 42 tickets and we saw how many decent auditions? It is as if they don't understand the concept of balance. The first few weeks we saw few bad auditions and only good or mediocre auditions. It was nice but I wanted some of the levity from the bad auditions. Now they are showing mainly bad auditions and few good auditions. (sigh)

I did not think that the final act of the night was all that good. It is a great story, she does not have to stay and take care of her boyfriend but she has. He seems to really appreciate what she is doing for him. It is really impressive actually. But that does not mean she has a good enough voice to go to Hollywood.

#18

alapaki

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 11:24 AM

They gave out 42 tickets and we saw how many decent auditions? It is as if they don't understand the concept of balance. The first few weeks we saw few bad auditions and only good or mediocre auditions. It was nice but I wanted some of the levity from the bad auditions. Now they are showing mainly bad auditions and few good auditions. (sigh)


I was thinking the same thing, and had to double-check the recaps just to make sure. We saw six (!?) Golden Ticket auditions out of the 42 they gave out. I'm not sure if that's a new low, but I remember getting the end, hearing them say how great the singing in Portland had been, and wondering what the hell they were talking about.

The show has really been incredibly uneven up to this point. I think, for me at least, it's benefitted by looking good next to X-Factor (which I thought was just awful). But I hope the uneven-ness so far isn't a portent of what's to come.

#19

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 11:38 AM

The best part of the night was that big Samoan looking dude with the "...so who are you?" And he wasn't even TRYING to be funny. I want to know more about him and his life now.

And Ryan, to his credit, didn't miss a beat. "I'm Ryan."

Very cool moment all around.

J-Lo's "tone" is Randy's "Pitchy." Somebody commented about a nice tone, and now that's all she talks about.

#20

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 12:40 PM

I also found the whole "Gershwin" nonsense to be odd. Even if the three judges didn't know who he was, which wouldn't shock me, I'm sure Uncle Nigel knows. I agree with the idea that something was wonky with the editing on that one, but why purposfully make your judges and your show look like total idiots?

They gave out 42 tickets and we saw how many decent auditions? It is as if they don't understand the concept of balance.


Just because they gave out 42 tickets doesn't mean they were good singers. Ever since Simon left, the judges just seem to be letting anyone and everyone through if they have a half decent voice. Especially if they show up with a sob story.

I'm also getting sick of the "I'm a single mom, send me to Hollywood!" stories. Or the "my life sucks, send me to Hollywood!" stories. I think I've become so cynical from watching this show over the years that it's becoming hard for me to feel for the people who actually do have crappy lives. Like that poor guy from Liberia. Britnee's baby daddy left her? That's nothing compared to what that poor guy had to live through.

Also loved the "...so who are you?" That got the biggest laugh out of me last night.

#21

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 3:56 PM

Can I be president of the "sick of single mothers whining club?" You have children just like millions of other people. So what?

The last woman they showed had an amazing voice. I would've voted her through without the sad back story.

All in all, this episode was incredibly boring. No, I don't want them to bring back the hordes of terrible singers but like others here, I think it'd be great if we could see more of the golden ticket auditions.

Edited by MandoMaid, Feb 2, 2012 @ 3:57 PM.


#22

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Posted Feb 2, 2012 @ 9:17 PM

That could mean "bank teller" at the local bank. I don't think she's in the 1% on Wall Street.

Hopefully not, because those people are worthless. Give me someone who works for a living any day.

As for "sob stories," saying that you have kids and you're raising them alone isn't really that to me. I have nothing but respect for someone who can raise her kids by working because some asshole couldn't be bothered to support his own fucking kids.

#23

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Posted Feb 3, 2012 @ 9:48 AM

As for "sob stories," saying that you have kids and you're raising them alone isn't really that to me. I have nothing but respect for someone who can raise her kids by working because some asshole couldn't be bothered to support his own fucking kids.


Granted SOME fathers truly do abandon their children, but not all of them. I just personally hate it when the mothers SAY they are doing it all on their own, while collecting child support, state income from tax payers, and help from extended family, and all the while saying the father is worthless. It's not 100% that way.

I guess to further clarify, it's that some of these single mothers try to come across as being horrible affected by the divorce or that they somehow conceived the child while maintaining the glow of virginity. I'm saying the women ain't all saints, and the fathers ain't all demons.

And they should be put through to Hollywood if they can sing. No other reason.