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Quotes You'll Never See On "Once Upon A Time"


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#91

jessied112

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Posted Oct 30, 2012 @ 9:44 AM

Archie: Rumpelstiltskin, hi. Are you here to see me?
Rumpel: Yes, I am. I've been trying to stop using magic for Belle.
Archie: How long has it been?
Rumpel: It's been two whole minutes
Archie: That's an excellent start. Come on in.

.-.

Rumpel: As long as you live in the past, you'll never find your future.
Regina: But aren't you the one that's trying to get to some world without magic to find your son, even after you promised you wouldn't use magic and then let him go because you wanted to keep your magic?
Rumpel: Dearie, this only applies to you, since I made the phrase up in the first place. So just go with it.

.-.

Charming: Just think about how happy Emma and Snow will be when they both come home to find that you've become a proper knight.
Henry: Well, Snow might be happy but I think Emma will be too busy trying to get used to time travelling and magic and her new-found family

.-.

Jefferson: Well, we're off to see the Wizard...the wonderful Wizard of Oz. We hear he is a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was...
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#92

legaleagle44

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Posted Oct 31, 2012 @ 12:21 AM

Whale/Frankenstein (to Zombie Daniel): When I said that my services will cost you an arm and a leg, I didn't mean that literally -- and I certainly didn't mean MINE!
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#93

Camera One

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Posted Nov 3, 2012 @ 12:56 AM

LOL, jessied112, I love the one between Rumple and Regina.
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#94

jessied112

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Posted Nov 3, 2012 @ 12:35 PM

Thanks! I actually had fun with the Archie/Rumpel one as well!

The Inevitable Multiple Roles of Rumpelstiltskin:

1. Rumpel to Regina: You know, I used to live in a little place called Transylvania.... cursed this girl...can't remember her name on the top of my head but this guy called Van Helsing tried to kill me.

2. Archie: Was there any other women in your life? Perhaps before Belle?

Rumpel: Ah, yes there was one. Her name was Tiana. But then she fell in love with another, so I turned them both into frogs.

3. Archie: Opening up about past crimes will help you move forward. Is there anything you regret?
Rumpel: Well, there was one time where I killed a woman and then split up her two sons. One was raised by gorillas and the other raised by wolves....actually, no, I don't regret that. They eventually lived happy lives.

4. Rumpel: I haven't told anyone else about this Archie, but I helped create a king from another land. You see, there was this sword and I cursed it into this stone....

5. Regina: Wait, how do YOU know Hook?
Rumpel: Well, it really is quite simple. First, I killed my ex wife who ran off with him. And then, many years, I travelled to his land and tricked his best and most loyal mermaid into becoming human...

6. Rumpel: I killed Bambi's mom.

7. Rumpel: Have you ever heard of a place called Narnia?

8. Rumpel: I am God. There, I said it. I am the creation of all the lands that have ever existed.
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#95

kcblue86

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Posted Nov 28, 2012 @ 7:19 PM

Rumpel: Have you ever heard of a place called Narnia?

Words cannot express how much I would love to have an episode end on this cliffhanger.
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#96

Whodunnit

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Posted Nov 29, 2012 @ 7:16 PM

Regina's bumper sticker reading:

'SHIPPER ON BOARD: Everyone's Happiness Is Mine!
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#97

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Posted Dec 4, 2012 @ 1:51 PM

Mulan: Let's just skip the whole rescuing Philip thing. I've found my true love (kisses Aurora).

Aurora: Agreed
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#98

Tricksterson

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Posted Jan 7, 2013 @ 2:50 PM

Regina: Who wants some of my lasagna?
Everyone at the party: YOU FIRST!

Red (looks at Charmings fur cape): Mom?!?

Edited by Tricksterson, Jan 8, 2013 @ 2:10 PM.

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#99

legaleagle44

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Posted Jan 7, 2013 @ 11:55 PM

Red (looks at Charmings fur cape): Mom?!?

OK, this made me laugh out loud!
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#100

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Posted Jan 8, 2013 @ 2:42 AM

My favorite tumblr is made entirely of these. My personal favorite:

David: Iíve been meaning to ask-- why do you own welding equipment?
Granny: Same reason I have a crossbow. Just in case.
David: And where did you get a crossbow?
Granny: Made it with the welding equipment.
David: And you have the wolf hearing too, which means you probably know everything about everyone. And you were able to hear the crowd coming after Ruby when they were way down the road. Iím beginning to think you may have been a better choice for Sheriff than me.
Granny: Oh, for sure. I just didnít want people bugging me with their problems all the time. I have a diner to run, you know.
David:
David:
David:
David: I think you may also be smarter than me.
Granny: Donít beat yourself up too much. You still look better in leather.


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#101

SGHvisitor

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Posted Jan 11, 2013 @ 11:16 AM

Anyone: Whatever happend to that wooden man at Granny's?
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#102

Cobalt Stargazer

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Posted Jan 15, 2013 @ 8:38 PM

Regina: *goes dancing past Granny's in a tux and sunglasses* Oppan Gangnam Style!

*diners stare and then quietly go back to eating*


Regina: *goes dancing past Granny's in fishnets and a leather corset* "Let's do the time warp again!"
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#103

kcblue86

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Posted Jan 21, 2013 @ 11:18 AM

Henry: I've got a theory about who this Greg Mendel person is.

Emma: Henry, we've told you he's just someone who happened to come to town.

Henry: Yes, but you said his phone kept ringing with someone called "Her" and the Star Wars theme played. I think he's from another land. (Holds up a book)

Emma: (facepalm)

Mary Margaret: Read Harry Potter to the class, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

Henry: John Williams wrote both themes! Hermione's trying to warn Harry! He got lasik surgery! It all makes sense! Muggles don't come to Storybrooke!
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#104

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Posted Jan 21, 2013 @ 12:28 PM

Anyone in Storybrooke: The Enchanted Forest sucks. I wanna stay here, where we have microwaves, indoor plumbing, cable and medical care!
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#105

legaleagle44

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Posted Jan 21, 2013 @ 11:37 PM

Henry: I've got a theory about who this Greg Mendel person is.

Emma: Henry, we've told you he's just someone who happened to come to town.

Henry: Yes, but you said his phone kept ringing with someone called "Her" and the Star Wars theme played. I think he's from another land. (Holds up a book)

Emma: (facepalm)

Mary Margaret: Read Harry Potter to the class, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

Henry: John Williams wrote both themes! Hermione's trying to warn Harry! He got lasik surgery! It all makes sense! Muggles don't come to Storybrooke!

You forgot the last line of that scene:

David, Mary Margaret, and Emma (in unison): SHUT UP, HENRY!

Edited by legaleagle44, Jan 21, 2013 @ 11:55 PM.

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#106

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Posted Jan 22, 2013 @ 1:17 AM

Not sure whether to laugh or to cry!
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#107

CheerAngel

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Posted Mar 12, 2013 @ 9:20 PM

Rumpelstiltskin to Bae: Because, you've got an innocent face, I've got serial killed written on my forehead.
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#108

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Posted Mar 22, 2013 @ 4:01 PM

SNOW: I have a dark spot on my heart. What should I do?
BLUE: I wish I could help. Unfortunately, I can't do anything unless I have my magic apron.

SNOW: I have a dark spot on my heart. What should I do?
BLUE: Hmm... I could send you to a land where nobody has a heart. Would that work?

SNOW: I have a dark spot on my heart. What should I do?
BLUE: Sorry, the Very Last Magic Pill for Heart of Darkness was used up centuries ago.
GIANT: Actually, I have one in my pocket.

Everyone: If you were the original power, why are you so useless?
BLUE: Think of it this way. I'm sort of like a computer from the 1980s.

Edited by Camera One, Mar 22, 2013 @ 4:02 PM.

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#109

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Posted Oct 5, 2013 @ 5:17 PM

Felix (Lost Boy Leader):  God, living in the forest sucks!  I wish I had a condo!

 

(Gregowen gets his shadow ripped out)

Tamara:  Wow, didn't see that one coming.  (Gets shot with arrow) That one either.  *Thud*


Edited by Tricksterson, Oct 5, 2013 @ 5:24 PM.

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#110

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Posted Nov 17, 2013 @ 11:49 PM

Regina and Emma (preparing to do an eclipse of the moon together:  Wonder Mom powers activate!


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#111

Tricksterson

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Posted Dec 16, 2013 @ 11:38 AM

This is more something I wish had been said but wasn't as the second curse closes in on them

 

Regina (to Snow and Charming):  Just want you both to know. I still don't like you.

Snow(Raised eyebrow): Really?

Regina:  Really.


Edited by Tricksterson, Dec 16, 2013 @ 11:40 AM.

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#112

jessied112

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Posted Dec 17, 2013 @ 10:53 AM

Just a couple of things I thought of after the midseason finale, with Hook trying to catch Emma up on the real fairytales...

 

Hook: My name is Hook, love.

Emma: As in Captain Hook? As in the villain who tried to kill Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and got his hand eaten by a crocodile?

Hook: Actually it didn't turn out quite that way. You see, Pan's evil and I never tried to kill Tink. I was more interested in flirting with her. As for my hand, it was chopped off and not by a crocodile. By a man named Rumpelstilksin, who happens to be Pan's son.

Emma: Yeah, that never happened in the fairytales. I need a drink and a restraining order.

 

.-.

 

Emma: So I'm the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming?

Hook: Yes, indeed milady.

Emma: That's disappointing. I always preferred Cinderella.


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#113

iTerri

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Posted Dec 18, 2013 @ 12:41 AM

Also after the break:

 

Hook: As you wish...

Emma: What are you supposed to be, the Dread Pirate Roberts?

Hook: No... You would know me as Captain Hook.

Emma: ...

Hook: ...

Emma: Get the f*** out of my apartment.

 

In Gold's shop:

 

Charming: She's back, the blue fairy. She gave us the wand.

Emma: She's what?

Henry-in-Pan: I thought she was dead?

Regina: That shadow is useless. When I kill someone they stay dead.

Emma: *glares daggers*

Regina: Oh. Right. Sorry.

 

Also in Gold's shop:

 

Gold: This is one of the only useful things I managed to pilfer from Greg and Tamara before they left for Neverland.

Neal: Ugh. I am still so sorry for bringing her here, you guys.

Emma: Wait. You saw them before they left for Neverland and you took the cuff from them? What about Henry?


After Rumple & Pan's "showdown"

 

Belle: No! Rumple...*ugly sobs* He's gone!

Snow: Regina? Are you ok?

Belle: Are you f***ing kidding me? I'm lying on the ground sobbing!

Snow: (snippy) Thanks for the advice.

Belle: ...

Snow: Regina? Are you ok? Are you alright? ... Regina?

Belle: ...

Snow: Regina?

Belle: FML.


Edited by iTerri, Dec 18, 2013 @ 12:09 AM.

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#114

Imagineer

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Posted Apr 1, 2014 @ 5:05 PM

David during a party with Snow, sighing, "Nobody dances the fish-slapping dance better than a dwarf"

Regina,  "Oh I don't know about that" pacing ominously around the happy couple.

 

Henry to Emma, "You know this town doesn't go by the rules in this book.  I can't tell when one person is actually 1 person, or is 4 people.  The genie is the mirror, ok, fine.  But Jack and the beanstalk, what the    %#!"

 

Emma to Regina, "you did good by Henry Regina, but I'm taking it from here."  Regina:  "Whew! " Are you sure you're up for this?  I've got Henry in therapy and he thinks everyone he meets is a storybook character."  "Oh," says Emma. "I thought it was real.  I'll just, uh, hmm. Leave now. Ciao."


Edited by Imagineer, Apr 1, 2014 @ 5:09 PM.

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