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Quotes You'll Never See On "Once Upon A Time"


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#1

Tricksterson

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Posted Jan 16, 2012 @ 1:07 PM

Dr. Whale (in bed with Mary Margaret): Why do you think they call me Monstro?
Mary Margaret (looking down: I have no idea.

Regina: You're twenty-eight and still living with your mother. Ha!
Emma: That's not as bad as (indistiguishable mumble)
Regina: What?
Emma: The fact that we kissed?
Regina Ewww! EwEwEww!
Emma: Hey, we didn't know yet!
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#2

Papillon Rouge

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Posted Jan 16, 2012 @ 4:41 PM

Mr Gold/Rumpie: "Using magic is free of any consequence!"
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#3

Sweeney555

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Posted Jan 16, 2012 @ 5:40 PM

Dr. Whale: "Ruby, your slutty attire makes me sick! I can't stand to look at you!"
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#4

jessied112

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Posted Jan 16, 2012 @ 7:04 PM

Henry: Oh grow up! Fairy tales aren't real!

Snow White: (to Evil Queen) I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you and your dumb mirror!
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#5

Sweeney555

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Posted Jan 17, 2012 @ 5:18 PM

Henry to Regina: "You're my real Mom! Emma is just the woman who gave birth to me."
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#6

ouronlylight

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 3:26 AM

Evil Queen: [rifling through her wardrobe] "I really have too much black clothing."
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#7

chatster

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 5:54 AM

Archibald Hopper: No. I'm not a real psychotherapist, but I do stay at the Storybrooke Holiday Inn Express.

Huntsman to Evil Queen: (After being asked to kill Snow White) The Enchanted Forest is divided because of attitudes like yours, so I've decided to drop out of this assignment and endorse Prince Willard for the job. And if he won't do it, the peasant that you turned into a large white-haired newt might be interested.

Person Breaking Into Hall During Storybrooke Sheriff's Candidates Debate: Mayor Regina Mills weighs as much a duck, and she floats. She's a witch! BURN HER!
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#8

Sara Sunshine

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 10:01 AM

Chaster, you just made my morning. In that spirit:

Sherriff: (pointing to Regina) She killed me! Well, I got better.

Edited by Sara Sunshine, Jan 18, 2012 @ 10:02 AM.

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#9

chatster

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 11:23 AM

David Anders to The Show's Creators No, I don't want you to reveal my identity in The Enchanted Forest. You do that, and the show's fans are going to believe that Once Upon A Time has "Jumped The Whale."

Mayor Regina Mills to Dr. Archibald Hopper: So, Dr. Hopper, because you've failed at getting Henry to stop believing in those ridiculous theories about me and everyone in Storybrooke, I've decided to have him treated by Dr. Tobias Funke.

Warning: The Following Clip Should Be Viewed Only By Mature Adults Dr. Tobias Funke: Analyst and Therapist
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#10

Loandbehold

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 1:09 PM

David Anders to The Show's Creators No, I don't want you to reveal my identity in The Enchanted Forest. You do that, and the show's fans are going to believe that Once Upon A Time has "Jumped The Whale."


Nice, chatster.

Because I'm a David Anders fan, let's try:

David Anders to The Show's Creators - Please don't give my Enchanted Forest backstory. Since we're on at 8 PM, it wouldn't be right to show our impressionable youth a "Whale Tale."
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#11

funnybia

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 2:09 PM

Evil Queen: Snow White I forgive you, here take this honey crisp apple cleverly disguised as a red delicious as a token of my sincere apology for everything I've done.

Snow White: (remebering the last time she was offered an apple) *glares suspiciously at the Evil Queen* You take the first bite...

---

Mary Margaret: Henry thinks I'm Emma's mother, but what he doesn't know is that I'm her father!!

---

David: You're the only person who really matters to me.

Regina: How many times do I have to tell you to GET LOST!!

---

Henry: Emma, it turns out that Who's Your Momma.org was wrong and your not my real mom.

Edited by funnybia, Jan 18, 2012 @ 2:17 PM.

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#12

agora

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 3:52 PM

Henry : (to anybody) Are you my Father?
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#13

Tricksterson

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 4:02 PM

@Agora: In that spirit

Henry: You killed my father!
Regina: Henry, I am your father.
Henry; Noooo!
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#14

MDKNIGHT

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 4:06 PM

(Only really makes sense if you've seen Dr Who)
Henry in a gas mask to Emma : Are you my mummy?


Evil Queen : I've decided to deversify my wardrobe. No longer will I wear the Black Leather Pants of Evil. I will now wear the Red Leather Pants of Moral Ambiguity.
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#15

agora

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 4:37 PM

@Agora: In that spirit

Henry: You killed my father!
Regina: Henry, I am your father.
Henry; Noooo!

Hee. I love it!

From Two Broke Girls:

Emma (to Henry): You don't know the name of your teeth?
Henry: I don't even know the name of my father.

Edited by agora, Jan 18, 2012 @ 4:37 PM.

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#16

jbreckenridge

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 6:36 PM

Mary Margaret (to Kathryn) : Have you ever heard of sister wives?
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#17

ViciousCircle

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 7:31 PM

Person Breaking Into Hall During Storybrooke Sheriff's Candidates Debate: Mayor Regina Mills weighs as much a duck, and she floats. She's a witch! BURN HER!


Keeping with the Pythonization of OUaT:

Blind Witch, crawling out of oven while still on fire: It's just a flesh wound.

Regina, to Gold: What's wrong?
Gold: I want to have babies.
Regina: But...you can't HAVE babies.
Gold: DON'T YOU OPPRESS ME!

Edited by ViciousCircle, Jan 18, 2012 @ 7:32 PM.

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#18

jessied112

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 7:38 PM

Jamie Dornan to Show's Creators: You know what would be a good idea? Showing a character's backstory for the first time and then killing them off in the same episode!
Show's Creators: Hmm....
*Jamie gets episode 7 script*
Jamie Dornan: Hey! I didn't mean my character!

.-.

Meghan Ory: You know, maybe if I show up in every episode and just look hot, I won't get killed off like Jamie's character...

.-.

Stranger: No, no! I'm not useful to any plot! I'm just here because I'm lost and need a place to stay for the night! I swear I'll be on my way to New York by tomorrow!

Emma: You know what? Eff this stupid town; I'm outta here! It's not like I'm gonna magically get Henry back anyway so why am I still here?
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#19

Miss Muffet

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 8:04 PM

Keeping with the Pythonization of OUaT:

Blind Witch, crawling out of oven while still on fire: It's just a flesh wound.

Haha, ViciousCircle, I haven't been on my python forums in so long!

Mary Margaret to the pet store owner:I want to register a complaint about this dead parrot I bought...
Pet store owner:It's a Norwegian blue, it's not dead, it's just sleeping..
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#20

ViciousCircle

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 8:50 PM

Mary Margaret to the pet store owner:I want to register a complaint about this dead parrot I bought...
Pet store owner:It's a Norwegian blue, it's not dead, it's just sleeping..


continuing this:

Regina: Pffft, all you have to do is kiss it and it'll be fine. That spell sucks.
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#21

funnybia

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 10:36 PM

Emma: I've decided to wear baggy jeans.

----

Mary Margaret to Emma: (looking at the last pages of Henry's book) There are some pages missing...

Emma: Oh ya, I threw them in the fire so Regina wouldn't read them.

Regina: Thank goodness I photocopied the whole book before Henry could steal it back from me.. now I can proceed with my evil plan to destroy Emma.. Hmm, lets see, sending her to deliver children to foster home outside of Storybrooke, resulting in a car crash and immediate death... check.

----

Emma: Henry, I need to tell you something that you may not understand or be prepared for, but I think that it's something you need to know, you're adopted...

------

Henry : (reading the Once Upon a Time book) ....made in china

Edited by funnybia, Jan 18, 2012 @ 10:39 PM.

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#22

Miss Muffet

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 11:37 PM

Haha, funnybia!

Keeping with the Pythonization of OUaT:
Blind Witch, crawling out of oven while still on fire: It's just a flesh wound.

Mary Margaret to the pet store owner:I want to register a complaint about this dead parrot I bought...
Pet store owner:It's a Norwegian blue, it's not dead, it's just sleeping..

continuing this:

Regina: Pffft, all you have to do is kiss it and it'll be fine. That spell sucks.


Graham:
Maybe I can just "Silly Walk" my way out of this forest and no one will notice...

I can't help it but this thread had me thinking about Monty Python (wonder why?) and the "Bridge of Death" sketch seems very reminiscent of the Troll Bridge..hehe have a look-see

Edited by Miss Muffet, Jan 18, 2012 @ 11:42 PM.

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#23

ViciousCircle

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Posted Jan 18, 2012 @ 11:48 PM

Graham: Maybe I can just "Silly Walk" my way out of this forest and no one will notice...


Gold replies: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no heart left!


Henry, to the Stranger: What is your name? What is your quest? What is the capital of Assyria?
Stranger:I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
Henry: Noone expects the Spanish Inquisition!


Regina, to Henry: Henry, it's time you knew the truth about your bio parents. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Edited by ViciousCircle, Jan 18, 2012 @ 11:53 PM.

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#24

Miss Muffet

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Posted Jan 19, 2012 @ 12:09 AM

Regina, to Henry: Henry, it's time you knew the truth about your bio parents. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Mwwwaaahhaa!

Emma: I'm telling the truth this time, Henry, your father is one of the Knights Who say Ni!
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#25

chatster

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Posted Jan 19, 2012 @ 7:12 AM

Evil Queen to Hansel and Gretel's Father (in her angriest voice): Just who do you think you are?
Hansel and Gretel's Father (scowling back at the Evil Queen): Oh, I'm A Lumberjack!

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Mr. Clark, I brought that film in for developing over a month ago. What's wrong?
Mr. Clark (after sneezing a few times): Relax. Some day your prints will come.

TWoP Tennison to Forum: Stop That! It's Silly.

Edited by chatster, Jan 19, 2012 @ 7:13 AM.

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#26

funnybia

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Posted Jan 19, 2012 @ 8:21 AM

Evil Queen: Finally, Snow White, I've captured you. Guards, take her to my bed chamber!

---

Regina: HAHA!! I have finally killed Emma Swan!

Regina to Henry: I know honey it's awful, she just tripped and fell on top of the knife... five times...

---

Snow White is offered the poisonous apple: No thanks I'm allergic.

---

Dr: What are you going to name him?

Rumple's mom: Well this year the towns people are competing for the most creative name, let me just pull some random letters out of this hat...

Edited by funnybia, Jan 19, 2012 @ 8:22 AM.

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#27

Miss Muffet

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Posted Jan 19, 2012 @ 9:59 AM

Mary Margaret Blanchard: Mr. Clark, I brought that film in for developing over a month ago. What's wrong?
Mr. Clark (after sneezing a few times): Relax. Some day your prints will come.


Haha, that's a good one, Chatster!
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#28

Tricksterson

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Posted Jan 20, 2012 @ 5:00 PM

RE: the Monty Python Jokes: My God, what have I done!

Evil Queen: Finally, Snow White, I've captured you. Guards, take her to my bed chamber!


I can only wish.
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#29

cheryl1213

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Posted Jan 21, 2012 @ 10:50 AM

Anyone to a parent who actuallr rasied them: Thanks, Mom. I love you.

Love my OUaT and thought people were overreacting at first to the adoptive vs. birth parents, but it just gets worse and worse over time. Henry may not have gotten warmth, but he seems to have been plenty taken care of.
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#30

funnybia

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Posted Jan 21, 2012 @ 1:07 PM

I know what you mean, I have a friend who's mom is friends with my mom and he's adopted, like any parent-child relationship they have their problems, but I haven't seen any evidence that he doesn't love her and his birth mom is horrible and wants him back and he's terrified of her, but that doesn't mean it's always like that, people are different, situations are different. In relation to the show: It's nothing against adoptive parents, just Regina.

Edited by funnybia, Jan 21, 2012 @ 1:10 PM.

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