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The River: Paranormal Watertivity


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#151

annlaw78

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Posted Feb 21, 2012 @ 11:51 PM

Anybody going on a rescue mission would have looked at all the tapes and planned accordingly, instead of finding things out as they went along. Stoopid.

At this point, they are all idiots for continuing on. Take the ship back to port, study the tapes, journals, etc. someplace safe without Nature/zombies attacking you at every turn, and then come back with more provisions, more guns, and more of a plan.

#152

TV Anonymous

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Posted Feb 21, 2012 @ 11:56 PM

bahamarita:

Also good to know that there's wifi in the Amazon. And between Jahel and Lena, I don't even know why they need the internet, since those two seem to know everything.


Wi-fi? Where? I must have missed it.

On a different note, I had a chuckle when Lena radioed for help because the call sign for the boat is "Magus Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot". My sentiments exactly.

#153

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 1:10 AM

Well, a spirit just flew out of a cell phone. I think I'm done with The River for good. This cast gives The Walking Dead crew a run for stupidest cast on TV.

#154

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 1:16 AM

I don't understand how/why Jahel is such an expert in all things occult/mystical in the Amazon, and her father isn't.


I think Daddy was off in jail or something and then Emmet hired him to man the engines, like 22 years ago. I assume that Jael stayed home with Mama learning mystical tricks, voodoo, Tarot, and spirit channeling before she passed over from some Demonic Possession-related problem. Now where's Lorraine Warren when you need her? Hey, she could grab up those spooky dolls cheap for her Haunted Doll museum while she's Amazon-bound.

OK, I can't find the quote now, but where is Sam Neill supposed to be?

#155

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 6:23 AM

Probably the same logic that has him speaking perfect English while his daughter apparently doesn't know a single word of it.


Didn't she tell Lincoln she can speak English but does not want to speak it?

#156

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 9:03 AM

Well, a spirit just flew out of a cell phone. I think I'm done with The River for good.

Well, as stupid as that was, there is the belief in a number of cultures that cameras capture/steal the soul so by Jonas taking a video at the moment his soul was leaving his body, it was taken by the camera...

Didn't she tell Lincoln she can speak English but does not want to speak it?

She didn't seem very confident when she said "the hanging man" in English.

#157

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 10:07 AM

Who the devil takes an accordion with them on a retrieval mission? I can see Lincoln finding a guitar on board. Maybe one of the crew members but an accordion is so specific.


That was so ... I don't even ... AN ACCORDION? Really? An accordion. On a boat, where you would think only the barest essentials would be brought on board. Someone brought an accordion. And the blonde girl knows how to play it. Did she bring it along herself? Like, "I need to rescue my dad, but in my off-hours maybe I can work in some jams"?

This show, it kills me. And then it brings me back to life, and kills me again.

#158

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 10:47 AM

Someone brought an accordion. And the blonde girl knows how to play it.


That whole scene was painful. It was like it had been lifted directly out of Falling Skies.

Didn't she tell Lincoln she can speak English but does not want to speak it?


I missed an episode so maybe she did, but that's really stupid. She knows English but chooses not to speak the language shared by everyone else on the boat? Why? Just to be extra-irritating? I don't think she really needs any help.

#159

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 10:58 AM

OK, I can't find the quote now, but where is Sam Neill supposed to be?


He's over on Alcatraz!
Bruce Greenwood (Emmet) looks an awful lot like him.

This episode missed the "ball up and cover my eyes like a little kid" factor that I have been loving.....

So, Kurt McStabby is after The Source, and we just learned that Emmet was after The Source, as well. The source of the island's magic?
Maybe it'll be down a well with the Smoke Monster!

Edited by HerRoyalHighnes, Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:00 AM.


#160

annlaw78

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:23 AM

So, Kurt McStabby is after The Source, and we just learned that Emmet was after The Source, as well.

It's Kurt von Stabby, actually, haha. I thought they were going for a South African mercenary thing with him, until they had him speaking German. The South African or Rhodesian thing would have made more sense than having his character be German. It would have also given his character a more complex back story and presumably a less progressive viewpoint re: the whole natives v. white interlopers subtext.

Edited by annlaw78, Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:29 AM.


#161

TV Anonymous

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:23 AM

hjohnson:

Well, as stupid as that was, there is the belief in a number of cultures that cameras capture/steal the soul so by Jonas taking a video at the moment his soul was leaving his body, it was taken by the camera...


I agree. The Apache in Old Shatterhand / Winnetou books believed that their souls were captured if they had their pictures taken, even if the picture was just hand drawn realistically. Maybe it is some kind of Native American belief?

#162

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:40 AM

Probably the same logic that has him speaking perfect English while his daughter apparently doesn't know a single word of it.

Or Portuguese either, for that matter.

#163

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:49 AM

Or Portuguese either, for that matter.

Are they supposed to be native Brazilians, or Latino Americans? I'm so confused by this. The Magus sailed all over the world, so I don't know where/when Emilio joined the crew.

ETA: It's hard to decipher from ABC's show website, but it appears that Emilio and Jahel were found by Clark (or whoever is conducting those "interviews") in Mexico, and joined the search to find Emmet there. I guess we're to take from that that they are Mexican? It also sounds like Jahel's mother died when she was young, and then she grew up on ship like Lincoln and Lena. So, again, I'm not sure how/why she became this expert in Amazonian culture and mysticism.

Edited by annlaw78, Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:57 AM.


#164

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:55 AM

Kurt McStabby

It's Kurt von Stabby, actually, haha.

Oops, wrong McShow :o)

Of course it had to be an accordian, the most grating of portable musical instruments (no offense!).

Please, little girl, start speaking English. It's hard to read the subtitles with my fingers over my eyes (not this week, so much).

#165

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 12:24 PM

Well, a spirit just flew out of a cell phone. I think I'm done with The River for good.

Well, as stupid as that was, there is the belief in a number of cultures that cameras capture/steal the soul so by Jonas taking a video at the moment his soul was leaving his body, it was taken by the camera...

My question is, could they have avoided the entire scenario if they had just broken the cell phone, or did it have to be both the sacrificial vine hanging and the broken cell phone? Either way, it was nice to see Cappy again; hope he sticks around for a while. And how is it that Jahel knows just enough to creep everyone out, but doesn't seem to keen on giving advice on how to solve and/or avoid these problems?

I would definitely pull that boat right over, settle down with a nice feast of fish, fruit and corn? (is it really easy to find fresh corn along the amazon?), watch all of those tapes, then have Jahel fill me in on every single creepy Amazonian thing they are likely to encounter, then jam out on the acordian for a while.

I am still enjoying this show, despite the huge plot holes, repetitive nature of the solution of every problem to be selfless and nice to nature/natives, and my increasing annoyance with the mother character.

#166

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 7:15 PM

Wi-fi? Where? I must have missed it.


TV Anonymous, when the birds started crashing to the ground, Lincoln (I think) said a storm must be coming and Lena (of course) comes running with an iPad with radar showing the storm on it. Someone correct me if I hallucinated that, but I'm fairly certain that's what I saw.

eta: in reference to the accordion...I know that that's always the first thing I pack when I'm planning my rescue missions. You never know when you'll need one. Lord. **insert eye roll here**

Edited by bahamarita, Feb 22, 2012 @ 7:18 PM.


#167

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 8:04 PM

Someone brought an accordion. And the blonde girl knows how to play it.


That whole scene was painful.


You know, I could actually believe Dr. "Magic is Out There!" Cole was just hokey enough to have an accordion hanging around the ship, and that Lena used to play it when they were on the ship as kids.

I actually loved that scene because of the look of embarrassment on Kurt's face . . . and the fact that it quickly devolved into horror when Jahel saw the hanging dude.

And how is it that Jahel knows just enough to creep everyone out, but doesn't seem to keen on giving advice on how to solve and/or avoid these problems?

To be fair, Jahel has been warning them to avoid the whole trip, it's just that nobody listened to her.

I would definitely pull that boat right over, settle down with a nice feast of fish, fruit and corn? (is it really easy to find fresh corn along the amazon?), watch all of those tapes, then have Jahel fill me in on every single creepy Amazonian thing they are likely to encounter, then jam out on the acordian for a while.

Unless you're Tess, who thinks every moment to get closer to Emmet is crucial, and didn't even want to take a few days out of their trip to get Jonas to a hospital.

I think with whatever bad magic Emmet's been messing with, he's going to be super-creepy by the time they find him. I'm not sure I'd be so anxious to find him if I were Tess. (However, as a viewer, I can't wait to see how fucked up and possibly evil Emmet is by now).

#168

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 10:17 PM

The mother is a bitch on wheels. Save her husband, but screw everybody else. Hell, I still think Jalel is calling down this shit, because as soon as she tells some loopy legend -- boom -- shit happens. If anybody needs a human sacrifice, she'd be one to go to.


This. The mom really sucks. She blah blahs all the time about not wanting to risk her son's safety. If she cared about his safety why did she drag him out to follow the path of his doomed father? She is such a jerk. Emmett chose his wife well because they are both kind of callous. How is Lincoln even related to these two assholes? I also agree about Jalel. Is she really going to freak out within the first 15 minutes of every show? Is she secretly a professor of the occult? Why does she know everything, but doesn't bother to tell anyone but her father until it is almost too late.

I thought Jonah was a bit of a thrill seeking douche, but eternal hanging between life and death seemed cruel and unusual. I love how he totally bounced back from his ordeal in the end. He was just back in his happy place, filming an intrepid crew aboard the Magus. You would think being left for dead by your colleagues while you desperately beg for them to save you, would leave a mark. Not to mention the weirdness and pain of literally being left hanging for several months. How long was he there? Didn't stupid Emmett disappear 6 months ago? And Jonah was hanging before that.

#169

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 10:20 PM

bahamarita:

TV Anonymous, when the birds started crashing to the ground, Lincoln (I think) said a storm must be coming and Lena (of course) comes running with an iPad with radar showing the storm on it. Someone correct me if I hallucinated that, but I'm fairly certain that's what I saw.


Sorry, you were wrong. I watched that scene again, and it was only a clipboard that Lena brought, with the the radar data printed out in colour.

#170

ThatPoshGirl

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 10:50 PM

Clooney is a show killer? During Clooney's years on ER, it was #1. I don't get that comment.


Before ER Clooney was considered a show killer. Spielberg was even warned against casting him.

#171

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Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 11:17 PM

Sorry, you were wrong. I watched that scene again, and it was only a clipboard that Lena brought, with the the radar data printed out in colour.


I stand corrected, however, it begs the question...how does she have that radar printout (that she produced immediately upon birds crashing to the ground) and a color printer on that boat? I can barely get my printer to print when it's barely humid out. They must have a bionic printer if it's printing in the Amazon, after sitting for 6 mos.

#172

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Posted Feb 23, 2012 @ 7:38 AM

Maybe she found an old box of crayons from her childhood and drew a doppler of the incoming storm? Seriously, I know it's silly that stuff like that bugs me when there are much bigger loopholes to bug my sense of logic, but it still annoys me!

apparently, it only takes one selfless act for the Amazon to forgive these selfish assholes of their crimes against the "magic". Good to know.

I saw it as Jonah undoing the wrong he originally did. Sure, he was yelling for the Smoke Monster to take him and spare the others, but it wasn't until the phone was smashed (and hence the footage was gone) that he was released.

Not that I would have minded Jonah hanging for eternity. He fucked up and was totally unrepentant about it because his main concern was his future Peabody. Then he lied about the whole thing and put everyone else in danger. If there was any question about Lena's objective before, it should be pretty clear now that she's willing to sacrifice almost everyone on the boat to find Emmett. In the case of Jonah, I'm with her. Why should they all die because of his arrogance?

Besides, Jonah was a total douche. Between jumping off the roof into a pool, his lame ramblings about scars and getting laid, his horrid mispronunciation of "bruschetta" (which is a pet peeve of mine), and his obvious pride in getting caught trying to show off his unimpressive abs to Lena, I was ready to kick his stupid ass off the boat even before I was convinced that he was the cause of the latest Smoke Monster attack.

I agree that this episode was definitely less scary/suspenseful than the previous ones. I'm actually a scaredy cat so I'm okay with less of the spooky stuff (the creepy dolls freaked me out), but this episode had very little plot, exposition, or story advancement. All I learned is that someone should gather up all musical instruments and throw them in the river to prevent Lincoln and Lena from ever doing that again.

Lincoln's accent is driving me crazy. It comes, it goes, he gets nasal, he gets throaty, ugh. I don't think he's an awesome enough actor or hot enough guy that they HAD to cast someone who couldn't keep a consistent American accent. It's really distracting.

#173

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Posted Feb 23, 2012 @ 12:37 PM

Not that I would have minded Jonah hanging for eternity. He fucked up and was totally unrepentant about it because his main concern was his future Peabody.


Really? I agree that he's a total douche and hated him from the start but an eternity of hanging between life and death, in constant pain, seems like a rather steep punishment for filming a funeral on his phone.

#174

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Posted Feb 23, 2012 @ 2:20 PM

Really? I agree that he's a total douche and hated him from the start but an eternity of hanging between life and death, in constant pain, seems like a rather steep punishment for filming a funeral on his phone.

I agree. Being insensitive the norms/traditions of a culture/religion not your own does not warrant capital punishment, or being abandoned to die by your employer. It may make you an insensitive, ignorant tool, but that's not a hanging offense. A more appropriate offense would be having your hacky sack and iPod taken away.

Edited by annlaw78, Feb 23, 2012 @ 2:25 PM.


#175

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Posted Feb 23, 2012 @ 2:45 PM

It's hard to decipher from ABC's show website, but it appears that Emilio and Jahel were found by Clark (or whoever is conducting those "interviews") in Mexico, and joined the search to find Emmet there. I guess we're to take from that that they are Mexican? It also sounds like Jahel's mother died when she was young, and then she grew up on ship like Lincoln and Lena.


I haven't been to the show's website, but that's not what I've garnered from the scenes we've been shown. Jahel is only 18 IIRC, and the other two are closer to 30. We've never seen her in any of the old videos, have we? If she had grown up on the ship, she'd certainly know English by now unless she had profound Learning Disabilities that we don't know about. Clark may have found the father and daughter team in Mexico because Emmet specifically told Emilio he didn't want him on this last trip and fired him to "save his life" because he knew it would be too dangerous.

If Mama died so young, how could she have taught Jahel all her esoteric skills? You don't pick up Tarot reading from the sky, there's a lot of mystical and symbolic interpretation going on. Interesting that Kurt just happened to know the fable behind the Hanging Man, because I sure never heard it before. Coincidence?

I'm still confuzzled by these whispy "soul release" visual effects. I get that Jonas wasn't supposed to film the sacred funeral, but we saw the ectoplasm stuff twice this ep, I think. Who was coming and going? I guess the second time it was his soul being absolved of the hanging curse, but I needed to come here to make that connection. What was going on the first time?

I'm with those who want to toss Mommie Dearest overboard ASAP.

#176

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Posted Feb 23, 2012 @ 3:46 PM

I haven't been to the show's website, but that's not what I've garnered from the scenes we've been shown. Jahel is only 18 IIRC, and the other two are closer to 30. We've never seen her in any of the old videos, have we? If she had grown up on the ship, she'd certainly know English by now unless she had profound Learning Disabilities that we don't know about. Clark may have found the father and daughter team in Mexico because Emmet specifically told Emilio he didn't want him on this last trip and fired him to "save his life" because he knew it would be too dangerous.

Per the site, she's 16 or so (at least at the beginning of this rescue mission), and she recounts a memory of Emmet, Tess, and Lincoln on the ship, so she spent some time on the ship as a child. She says she and her father were living on the Magus "for so long," and then lived in the port city of Verazruz while Emmet went on his last mission.

Edited by annlaw78, Feb 23, 2012 @ 3:50 PM.


#177

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Posted Feb 24, 2012 @ 4:15 AM

I'm still confuzzled by these whispy "soul release" visual effects. I get that Jonas wasn't supposed to film the sacred funeral, but we saw the ectoplasm stuff twice this ep, I think. Who was coming and going? I guess the second time it was his soul being absolved of the hanging curse, but I needed to come here to make that connection. What was going on the first time?

It wasn't Jonas' soul, it was the tribal elders. As has been mentioned elsewhere in the thread, some cultures believe capturing a person's image on video/camera steals their soul. So in the original video, the elder's soul was captured by the camera. At the end, when he smashed the phone thus destroying the video, the elder's soul was released.

#178

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Posted Feb 24, 2012 @ 3:10 PM

Well, as stupid as that was, there is the belief in a number of cultures that cameras capture/steal the soul


Only on TV.

There's some evidence that in the very early days of photography this may have been the case--briefly--but unless this show is set in 1902, it's not a valid argument.

Of course, there are prohibitions against photographing people without their permission because it's, youknow, incredibly rude, but no one on this team of ace documentarians worries about that.

#179

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Posted Feb 24, 2012 @ 7:48 PM

In some religions, there's the issue of "graven images" which has nothing to do with the birth of photography per se.

I'd have to google the exact reason, but I know for certain that the Amish do not allow photos of their faces, and some don't even want pictures of their backs or their bodies with faces not visible. Some Amish rarely see any photos of anything, period. Not even their own woodwork.

Per the site, she's 16 or so (at least at the beginning of this rescue mission), and she recounts a memory of Emmet, Tess, and Lincoln on the ship, so she spent some time on the ship as a child. She says she and her father were living on the Magus "for so long,"


That's making my head explode. Don't the writers take any notes? I can believe that she visited the ship, but actually lived on it for a protracted amount of time? The girl is certainly not stupid nor deaf, but she'd have to be to have not picked up any English in that period of time. Younger children are born mimics and can easily become bilingual. What a contrivance.

we saw the ectoplasm stuff twice this ep


If the second time was when the phone was smashed and released the elders, then who was it the first time?

#180

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Posted Feb 24, 2012 @ 8:10 PM

I think the Aboriginals of Australia have something about pictures of people who have died. Every time I went into a museum there, there were disclaimers and warnings that some of the images shown there were of individuals who have since passed away. I never found out what that was all about but I am guessing it has to do with some kind of belief about the dead.

Edited by Tableau, Feb 24, 2012 @ 8:13 PM.