Great introduction to the new Star Sapphires canon today, as the gang visit Zamoran, and Hal gets a surprise visit from Carol Ferris. Also, lots of uncomfortable moments for Hal, as he comes close to having to punch himself in the balls to keep control. There is one issue, though . . . imagine this happening once we faded to black . . .
Kilowog: Sheesh, I feel even worse than when dis caper began! My new girlfriend got zapped to Zamroan, drank the brown shivtre
, and now she's a glassy-eyed servant of "love." And I couldn't go jack cuz she turned me into a lawn ornament!!
Hal: Look, it happens, pal. Love makes you do dumb things.
Razer: (scowling) Yes, you can say that.
Hal: Greeeeeeat. What's up your ass this time?
Razer: I have a few questions. First: by your reckoning, how long would it take to get back to Oa?
Hal: Hmmmm . . . I think at maximum speed? About seven and a half months.
Aya: (to Razer) I can translate that into something you would be famil-
Razer: (snapping) Shut. Up. I'm still pissed at you. (to Hal) Now . . . how long does it take for you to get from your home planet to Oa?
Hal: Huh. Well . . . a few hours if I pour on the speed. Where are you going with this Razer?
Razer: You'll see. Final question: is it true that the queen's niece was able to send your woman back home?
Hal: Yeah, Carol- (pauses)
Kilowog: What's wrong?
Razer: As I understand humans put it: "Wait for iiiiiiiiiit."
Hal: She sent . . . so that would mean. . . . FUCK!!!!!
Kilowog: Wass wrong, Ha- . . . .oh, no.
Hal: FUCK! FUCK! SHIT CRAP FUCKING FUCKING SINESTRO UP MY FUCKING ASSHOLE FUCCCCCCCKK!!!!
Razer: "Fuck" indeed. One of us could have gotten back to Earth, and then to Oa. Perhaps that Star Sapphire might have created a portal large enough for the Interceptor vessel to pass through. But you did not find out, Jordan, because you were too busy trying not to trip over your engorged genitalia. And we cannot go back to Zamoran because the Star Sapphires will be too busy punishing their disobedient solider . . . .perhaps with a pillow fight and oil, as I've seen in your "magazines," Jordan. So we can't go back to Oa . . . but it's not like I have friends and family to come back to there, Jordan. (turning to Kilowog) Or comrades in arms that depended on me. I'm going to my quarters. When I wake up, I might go back to Atrocitus. Maybe he would accept me as a solider once again. Maybe he would kill me in a blood sacrifice. But at least he thinks more than you assholes!!!
(Razer stalks off . . . Hal, Aya and Kilowog stare at each other)
Razer: FUCK!!! WHY AREN'T THERE ANY DOORS I CAN SLAM!!???!
Aya: If you like, I could rearrange the inter-
Razer: SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU MECHANICAL BITCH!!
Edited by Lantern7, Apr 28, 2012 @ 11:47 PM.