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Finding Bigfoot aka Messin’ with Sasquatch


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#211

Quilt Fairy

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Posted Feb 27, 2012 @ 7:31 PM

Was last night's episode worth watching? I turned it off thinking it was all previously aired footage.
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#212

alapaki

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Posted Feb 27, 2012 @ 9:15 PM

If you want to see these clowns talk themselves into circles so tight their bullshit whips around and smacks them in the face, it's definitely worth your time.
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#213

Glass Ocean

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 12:34 AM

Matt is certainly shaping up to be the most serious contender for Biggest Asshat. Do I detect some spray tan on his less-lawyery more-leathery face? It doesn't quite match his neck and is suspiciously orange.

I loved the audience pointing out their spats over a potential "heel print" in a stream bed, the "eye shine" aka owl on branch that's mysteriously not there any more [after only three years], and a few other differences of opinion. I was disappointed that Ranae has now found squatching to be her life calling as a biologist, but she's obviously more famous than anyone else in her grad school class, and likely making more money, too. Aah well, time for the sell-out.
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#214

henriPootel

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 7:29 AM

If you want to see these clowns talk themselves into circles so tight their bullshit whips around and smacks them in the face, it's definitely worth your time.

I liked the part where the guys concede that at least some of the encounters BFROers report are probably other squatchers out there banging trees and yellin'. We also found out that Moneymaker has tried using game cameras but even his remarkable skill at concealing these cameras has been thwarted by squatch's abilities at detecting and avoiding them.
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#215

Ananayel

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 9:34 AM

Now I want this to be an episode - two groups of squatchers, several hundred yards away from each other, each hear knocks and howls. They each yell "it's coming from over there!" and begin to run toward each other, thermal and night-vision cameras at the ready. They each spy figures through the trees, and each decide they're seeing a squatch family, maybe teenage squatches, because they're not very big. And then the crushing disappointment when they realize that it's just wacko humans in parkas they're seeing.

I think there needs to be a Squatch Permit commission, to only allow groups into small areas one at a time, and divvy up large areas so they aren't bumping into each other. Think of all the revenue that could be collected from Squatching licenses! The commission could rent gear to amateurs, provide transportation, be a clearinghouse of photos, videos and prints... I think I'm onto something here!
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#216

alapaki

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 10:12 AM

Now I want this to be an episode - two groups of squatchers, several hundred yards away from each other, each hear knocks and howls. They each yell "it's coming from over there!" and begin to run toward each other, thermal and night-vision cameras at the ready. They each spy figures through the trees, and each decide they're seeing a squatch family, maybe teenage squatches, because they're not very big. And then the crushing disappointment when they realize that it's just wacko humans in parkas they're seeing.


The episode would end with them sharing some bacon and Krispy Kremes.
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#217

walnutqueen

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 2:31 PM

I think there needs to be a Squatch Permit commission, to only allow groups into small areas one at a time, and divvy up large areas so they aren't bumping into each other. Think of all the revenue that could be collected from Squatching licenses! The commission could rent gear to amateurs, provide transportation, be a clearinghouse of photos, videos and prints... I think I'm onto something here!

I sure hope the Sharks will fund my new travel venture: Squatch-Sighting Expeditions. Judging from the BFRO's town meetings, I'm gonna be makin' big bank on these fools.

ETA: I just saw the latest promo where they apparently use fireworks to lure squatches, and Matt declares that "sasquatches are often seen in cemetaries". I kid you not.

Edited by walnutqueen, Feb 28, 2012 @ 2:54 PM.

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#218

henriPootel

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 5:54 PM

It already exists, and not far from stately Pootel Manor. We're gonna wait till the weather warms up a bit, but we're totally there. This guy also has, I shit thou not, an area with life-size models of dinosaurs fighting Union soldiers. Spring cannot come quickly enough.
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#219

Glass Ocean

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 6:15 PM

Matt declares that "sasquatches are often seen in cemetaries". I kid you not.


OMG! The perfect set-up for a cross-over with, say, the idiots from Ghost Adventures. They can all meet in the graveyard and share almost-but-not-quite tales of "the ones who got away!" Maybe have a mini tech convention in a mausoleum. Zak can teach Bobo some hair care tips. The mind boggles...
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#220

walnutqueen

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 6:19 PM

henriPootel: Dang, how can I compete with the "Hunt Bigfoot with a Redneck" campaign (replete with Deliverance Dueling Banjos background music)? HAH! I'll hire my own Rannae. Hell, I'll hire the wedding planner from RHoBH, too! Call it "Hunt Squatches with a Biologist ... In Style". Tie that in with the whole "glamping" craze and I still have a winner.

It is oddly disturbing that you found that website, though. ;)
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#221

Ananayel

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 6:31 PM

This guy also has, I shit thou not, an area with life-size models of dinosaurs fighting Union soldiers. Spring cannot come quickly enough.

This made me laugh out loud. Please put pictures somewhere we can see them!

OMG! The perfect set-up for a cross-over with, say, the idiots from Ghost Adventures. They can all meet in the graveyard and share almost-but-not-quite tales of "the ones who got away!" Maybe have a mini tech convention in a mausoleum. Zak can teach Bobo some hair care tips. The mind boggles...

If this doesn't happen next season, I will be sorely disappointed.
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#222

Quilt Fairy

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 9:15 PM

The episode would end with them sharing some bacon and Krispy Kremes.

And liver!

You know, until I figured out that squatchers were not squatches, a few of the last posts really had me confused.
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#223

misterbfd

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Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 10:22 PM

Time to launch "MisterBFD's Sasquatch Tours".
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#224

alapaki

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Posted Mar 1, 2012 @ 3:49 PM

I caught a rerun last night of (I think) the Rhode Island episode.

Matt actually said "tree knocks are one way we can be absolutely certain that it's a squatch".

Then, the very next sentence . . . and I shit you not . . . he said "because only squatchs or humans can do that."

Oh. Okay. So, it's either the mythical creature that we've never seen an actual specimen of, or one of 3.1 million humans in the U.S.

Yeah. I'm going with "squatch" as the cause.

Dope.
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#225

w_wellington

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Posted Mar 1, 2012 @ 5:54 PM

One of my other favorite Matt moments was when he was disagreeing with Ranae by saying, "We have either a jogger in those barefoot-running-shoes, or a squatch...and it's way more likely that it's a squatch." Why? Because Matt has those barefoot-running-shoes and would never wear them in that kind of terrain.

I later caught a rerun of one of the older episodes (I think Florida). Guess what Matt is clearly wearing in the woods during one of the shots while Bigfooting?
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#226

Glass Ocean

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Posted Mar 1, 2012 @ 6:05 PM

Guess what Matt is clearly wearing in the woods during one of the shots while Bigfooting?


And does he have, ya know, a BIG foot?
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#227

Quilt Fairy

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Posted Mar 1, 2012 @ 8:06 PM

So, it's either the mythical creature that we've never seen an actual specimen of, or one of 3.1 million humans in the U.S.

alapaki, you lost a couple of decimal places. There're 313 million people in the U.S., not 3.1. (God I wish there were only 3.1!)
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#228

alapaki

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Posted Mar 1, 2012 @ 8:26 PM

You're right Quilt Fairy. Unless . . . the other 280 million are . . . squatches in disguise!!!!!!!!!!
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#229

misterbfd

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Posted Mar 1, 2012 @ 10:05 PM

You're right Quilt Fairy. Unless . . . the other 280 million are . . . squatches in disguise!!!!!!!!!!


Squatchy as hell!

And what about the other 30 million? Are they ET's?

280m + 3.1m = 283 million, leaving 30 million un accounted for!
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#230

Ananayel

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Posted Mar 2, 2012 @ 9:27 AM

280m + 3.1m = 283 million, leaving 30 million un accounted for!

Aliens and human-alien hybrids. No doubt about it.
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#231

w_wellington

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Posted Mar 2, 2012 @ 11:30 AM

I thought all humans were human-alien hybrids?
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#232

henriPootel

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Posted Mar 4, 2012 @ 10:18 PM

Holy crap - they finally found a film so fake even Moneymaker thinks it's phony? My world makes no sense. Oh wait, he just said squatches are forest 'ninjas'. And we're back.
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#233

alapaki

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Posted Mar 4, 2012 @ 10:51 PM

I half-expected Moneymaker to say that since Squatches are "ninjas", not hearing anything is pretty convincing evidence that they are there.
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#234

w_wellington

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Posted Mar 4, 2012 @ 11:03 PM

Did they really describe the area surrounding Bloomington, Indiana as "mountainous"?
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#235

Ananayel

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Posted Mar 5, 2012 @ 12:49 AM

Good grief, Helen Keller could have figured out that clip was fake. The legs were too long and slender to support something as allegedly heavy and beefy as a Squatch. And the squatting bodybuilder poses and shuffle dance? I would have been checking the woods for drunken giggling teenagers.
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#236

ubi

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Posted Mar 5, 2012 @ 5:47 AM

This week, the team investigates alleged footage taken of a "'sqautch" stepping out from behind a bush, squatting, then side-stepping back behind the bush. Naturally, the clip is of such poor quality that all you can see a small dark blob. In an attempt to attract "'sqatches", they set up a fake campfire and set off a lot of fireworks. OK, it's official. These Bigfoot investigators are retards.
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#237

alapaki

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Posted Mar 5, 2012 @ 11:23 AM

Good grief, Helen Keller could have figured out that clip was fake. The legs were too long and slender to support something as allegedly heavy and beefy as a Squatch. And the squatting bodybuilder poses and shuffle dance? I would have been checking the woods for drunken giggling teenagers


Ahh, but that's what these stealth, usually-camera-avoiding, ninjas-of-the-woods would want you to believe. If a Squatch was out foraging for Krispy Kremes, or bacon, or raw liver, and unwittingly wandered away from the old-growth trees and found himself exposed in a clearly, he'd engage in a bit of juvenile hijinks to make you think it was a drunken teen.
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#238

henriPootel

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Posted Mar 5, 2012 @ 3:24 PM

In an attempt to attract "'sqatches", they set up a fake campfire and set off a lot of fireworks. OK, it's official. These Bigfoot investigators are retards.

But what you don't understand, Ubi, is the subtle brilliance of ..., I mean squatches are known to be, uh ... Yeah, I got nothin'. They're retards.

Did you catch the 'Birth of a Legend' episode (Team Moron goes to Bluff Creek to tongue-bathe Bob Gimlin)? Highly amusing, especially the little pop-up comments. Renee is a bit more snarky than I'da thought. I did like the moment when Bobo realized that Renee didn't believe in squatches, not even 1%. He looked surprised, and a maybe a little hurt. And boy, Renee really did like her (now dead) cat.

My tivo also trolled up something else off the National Geographic Channel called 'The Truth Behind Bigfoot', also about Bluff Creek but without Gimlin. They did get a look at a second generation copy of the Patterson-Gimlin film, a much cleaner one than the (apparently) 5th or 6th generation copy you mostly see. Surprise surprise - the better the copy of the film, the faker it looks. These guys were at least trying to look professional and objective, and after intensive reconstruction and geometry, hilariously found that the figure in the film is somewhere between 4 1/2 feet tall (based on Gimlin saying they were '100 feet away') and maybe 8 feet tall (based on, what, I dunno). This was the great crescendo they ended with - basically nothing. Cool graphics though, although they apparently never even thought of building a fake camp. Amateurs.
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#239

ubi

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Posted Mar 5, 2012 @ 3:37 PM

Was "Birth of a Legend" an ep of this show or an entirely different show? I don't remember seeing any of these fools when I saw it, if that's what I was watching.
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#240

w_wellington

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Posted Mar 5, 2012 @ 3:57 PM

There's a Birth of a Legend (I think it was called that) episode of this show, or maybe a special...it was two hours long and the Finding Bigfoot Team was definitely on it. I bet that title has been used for other non-FB shows, though.
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