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Things I Am No Longer Allowed to Do on the Wall


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#151

sadie e a

sadie e a

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Posted Jan 24, 2013 @ 7:18 PM

252. I will no longer dare the new recruits to stick the appendage of their choice into a hole in the Wall, unless I
want to spend the rest of my life repairing the Wall.
Though, to be fair, how was I to know a certain recruit would stick THAT appendage into the hole.AND he would
pee into the hole. OR that it would freeze. While he was still, um, in the hole in the Wall.
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#152

not a robot

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Posted Jan 26, 2013 @ 11:30 AM

253. I am not allowed to order Dornish food to be delivered to my post.
253b. Or the barracks.
253c. Not even if I order enough for everyone.
253d. Not even if I offer to ride to Dorne to pick it up myself.
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#153

TheGreaterFool

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Posted Apr 2, 2013 @ 3:10 PM

254. I am to stop testing recruits' fortitude by slicing off their nipples.
* And I am to apologize to anyone who ate that "pepperoni" pizza I made.

255. The nearest town is Winterfell, not Woodbury... we live in a castle, not a prison... and the fact that we're about to be attacked by the Walking Dead is not an excuse to threaten "to go all Governor on everyone."
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#154

IzzyBoy

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Posted Apr 4, 2013 @ 11:45 AM

256: Just because I always wear black it doesn't mean I can speak to everyone in a deep gravely voice and require that they now refer to me as the "Caped Crusader".
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#155

irishmaple

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Posted Apr 5, 2013 @ 1:22 PM

257. I am no longer allowed to use "but there was a snowstorm and a battle and zombies and White Walkers and I was on crap-collection duty" as an excuse for not releasing the ravens.
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#156

Vanilla Siren

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Posted Apr 5, 2013 @ 4:18 PM

258. I am no longer allowed to use the phrase "It's not slander if it's true" as an excuse to reveal sensitive personal information about other people ... such as the fact the Lord Commander Mormont sleeps with a teddy bear.

Edited by Vanilla Siren, Apr 5, 2013 @ 4:20 PM.

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#157

TheGreaterFool

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Posted Apr 19, 2013 @ 1:23 PM

259. I am to stop saying, "Let's lend the Kingslayer a hand!"

260. Craster's monologue about eating Sam was cruel ridicule, not a serious suggestion worth considering.

261. I am to stop referring to our long march back to the Wall as the Walk of Punishment.
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#158

wildling

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Posted Apr 22, 2013 @ 11:36 AM

262. I'm no longer allowed to sing every day I'm [shoveling] (Party Rock Anthem) with Grenn and/or Sam. It makes Edd cranky.

Edited by wildling, Apr 22, 2013 @ 11:44 AM.

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#159

TheGreaterFool

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Posted Jun 5, 2013 @ 11:27 AM

263. I should just accept that the gifts I sent to the Tully/Frey wedding won't be returned and are nonrefundable... and there probably won't be a thank-you raven coming my way.

 

264. I also shouldn't expect that horse I ordered from the Night Watch breeder anytime soon.

 

265. I am to stop sucker punching my Brothers and claiming a warg possessed me to do it.


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#160

IzzyBoy

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Posted Jun 10, 2013 @ 12:47 PM

266: I am no longer allowed to send Ramsay Snow links to SNL videos.  One of the videos gave him a really bad idea when sending a message to the Greyjoys...


Edited by IzzyBoy, Jun 10, 2013 @ 12:48 PM.

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#161

Chyromaniac

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Posted Sep 12, 2013 @ 4:58 PM

By the old gods and the new- I have missed reading this thread...

 

267.  "To Serve Man" is not the official cookbook of the Night Fort.

 

268.  I am no longer allowed to give orders in High Valyrian, or any other languages I don't actually speak.

 

269.  I am no longer allowed to celebrate "Talk like an Ironborn Day."

 

270.  No one wants to hear the version of "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" that I wrote about Commander Mormont and Jon Snow.


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#162

MrBinet

MrBinet

    Just Tuned In

Posted Feb 19, 2014 @ 5:54 AM

271. When pork sausage is being served I am no longer allowed to sing My sausage has a first name, it's T-H-E-O-N


Edited by MrBinet, Feb 19, 2014 @ 5:56 AM.

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#163

CletusMusashi

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Posted Mar 23, 2014 @ 5:28 PM

272. I will not throw Ghost's frisbee near Maester Aemon.

 

273. I will not trick new recruits into paying me money to let them paint the wall.

 

274. Having a dire wolf does not mean everyone has to bow down and call me "Father of Puppies."

 

275. I will not trade my sword for 500 throwing spears, even though they would be a lot more useful for guarding a 700 foot high barrier than one sword is.

 

276. Claiming to be a Cleveland Browns fan does not excuse me from tending ravens.

 

277. I will not send out ravens with Season 4 spoilers.


Edited by CletusMusashi, Mar 31, 2014 @ 3:31 AM.

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#164

SilverShadow

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Posted Apr 12, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

278. Any brother of the Night's Watch caught singing "Let It Go" will be instantly beheaded. Particularly the bit about "The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway."

*This goes double for looking at Jon Snow when singing "That Perfect Girl Is Gone!"


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#165

TheGreaterFool

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Posted Apr 15, 2014 @ 11:51 AM

279. I'm not allowed to ask that the presents I sent to King Joffery's wedding be returned to me.

 

280. I shall not employ a troupe of midgets to impersonate my Brothers (we all know I'd have Jon riding a caricature of Sam)

 

281. I'm not allowed to resign from the Watch just because "I hear there's a vacancy in King's Landing."

 

 

Fellow Brothers (and Sisters), would you like to help find a new home for this list, or should it live and die at its post? 


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#166

CletusMusashi

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Posted Apr 15, 2014 @ 3:31 PM

I think it would fit in pretty well at Previously.TV but I'm not sure if it could be imported as a whole. Might have to just start over. But the mods there do seem to be pretty TWOP-friendly. You could certainly ask.

and,

282. I will no longer glue fake eyes onto regular birds in order to screw with Bran.


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