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Things I Am No Longer Allowed to Do on the Wall


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#121

agora

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 5:20 PM

205. I'm no longer allowed to refer to Melisandre's baby as Black Smoke Monster, the second of his name.

206. I'm no longer allowed to refer to Melisandre's baby as Stannis's bastard.

207. I'm no longer allowed to ask Melisandre's baby if he has seen Jacob since he left the island.

Edited by agora, Apr 25, 2012 @ 11:39 PM.

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#122

Blue Nocturne

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 5:27 PM

208. I am no longer allowed to send Stannis letters that mix up "your" and "you're" and have sentences that end in prepositions.
209. I'm not longer allowed to get into debates with Stannis about split infinitives and Oxford commas.
210. I am no longer allowed to refer to battlefield triage with pretty nurses as a "date."

Edited by Blue Nocturne, Apr 25, 2012 @ 8:37 PM.

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#123

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 11:36 PM

211. I'm no longer allowed to invoke sumai whenever I want some friends/my mom to come by to "the greatest apartment that ever was or will be" . Sumai is for emergencies only.
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#124

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 12:44 PM

212. I'm no longer allowed to speak to Renly ...


...no one is for that matter.

Edited by agora, Apr 30, 2012 @ 12:45 PM.

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#125

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Posted May 2, 2012 @ 2:27 PM

213. I'm not allowed to call dibs on the Knight of Flowers

214. Theon Greyjoy's cabin is not the "poop deck," and I am to stop treating it as such

215. I am not allowed to defect to the Wildings
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#126

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Posted May 4, 2012 @ 8:57 AM

216: No, jousting is the national spectator sport of Westeros, not slapping King Joffrey and I am not to suggest that it should be no matter how much Lord Tyrion aproves.
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#127

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Posted May 4, 2012 @ 11:18 AM

217. I'm no longer allowed to be afraid of my own shadow. There is an actual shadow I should be afraid of.

Edited by agora, May 4, 2012 @ 11:19 AM.

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#128

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Posted May 7, 2012 @ 10:50 AM

218. The next time I see Theon Greyjoy climbing into the keep, I am to raise the alarm -- instead of assuming he's here to throw a surprise birthday party and then help pull him up.
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#129

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Posted May 7, 2012 @ 1:52 PM

219. I'm no longer allowed to explore the north singing at the top of my lungs "Wild Thing, you make my heart sing".
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#130

Chysalis

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Posted May 8, 2012 @ 3:25 AM

220. I am no longer allowed to call Theon a "fucking twit". It is prince "fucking twit" now.
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#131

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Posted May 8, 2012 @ 4:10 AM

221. When I bunk down with my brothers, I am allowed to get comfortable. I am not allowed to 'get comfortable'.
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#132

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Posted May 16, 2012 @ 9:55 AM

222. I am to stop pretending that the only word I know and can say is my name.

223. My "simulated dragon attack" drills are to end immediately, if only because running around the keep screaming in people's faces is not a useful "simulation."

224. Without going into details, I now understand that the cup bearer is not the person responsible for cleaning, maintaining and adjusting a lord's codpiece.
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#133

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Posted May 18, 2012 @ 9:16 AM

225. I am no longer allowed to wander beyond the Wall, hoping to be captured by an alluring Wilding woman.
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#134

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Posted May 27, 2012 @ 3:51 PM

226. I'm no longer allowed to ask anyone from the House of Stark if Iron Man's Tony Stark is related to them.

227. I'm no longer allowed to ask Osha or Ygritte if Thor is one of the old Gods the wildlings pray to.

228. I'm no longer allowed to ask Jaqen H'ghar if he works for S.H.I.E.L.D and/or knows the Black Widow or Hawkeye.

Edited by agora, May 27, 2012 @ 3:54 PM.

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#135

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Posted May 28, 2012 @ 8:00 PM

229. Stealing a man's bacon and eggs to save him from heart disease does not count as "stealing a death from the Red God," and I am to stop insisting the man kill someone for me.
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#136

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Posted May 31, 2012 @ 8:06 AM

230: "Fuck the King" is not a legitimate cadence.
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#137

agora

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Posted May 31, 2012 @ 12:00 PM

231. I'm no longer allowed to yell "Half half-man!" whenever Joffrey threatens to cut Tyrion in half.
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#138

JackOfAllTrades

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Posted Jun 3, 2012 @ 10:32 AM

232. When I am on recruit duty, I must tell people we are "the shields of the realms of men" not "a cool frat with a nice uniform".

Edited by JackOfAllTrades, Jun 3, 2012 @ 10:33 AM.

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#139

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Posted Jun 3, 2012 @ 8:03 PM

233. I may not forge a cease and desist letter from Disney to Queen Cersei, telling her to stop ripping off the Lion King. Disney's lawyers are worse than the White Walkers and they don't like being impersonated.
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#140

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Posted Jun 3, 2012 @ 11:16 PM

234. I'm no longer allowed to hold every coin I see and repeat "Valar Morghulis" hoping Jaqen H'ghar would appear on my TV screen again.
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#141

FoolishWanderer

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Posted Jun 4, 2012 @ 2:32 AM

235. Not allowed to blow my horn four times, just to confuse everyone.
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#142

TheGreaterFool

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Posted Jun 7, 2012 @ 12:23 PM

236. I am to stop making fun of Sam for being so pathetic that even the White Walkers didn't want him.

237. I am not allowed to declare myself dead, and putting on eyeshadow, blush and lipstick isn't convincing anyone that I have a new identity.

238. If a valuable coin from a Faceless Man isn't for buying a horse, it certainly should not be used for buying services at the first brothel I see.
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#143

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Posted Jun 12, 2012 @ 1:38 AM

239: I am no longer allowed to kill my commanding officer- unless he reeeeeeeally asks me to...

240: A swift blow to the back of the head is not the proper response to a rousing speech. (edit: except for one given by Theon Greyjoy -Lord Commander Mormont)

241: I am no longer allowed to accuse Rangers who look alike of being "warlocks"- sometimes it's just a family resemblance.

242: Just because "Hot Pie" hasn't arrived in 30 minutes or less, does not mean we get a refund.

243: I am no longer allowed to ask why the White Walkers can ride horses, and I can't.

ETA

244: I am no longer allowed to mention the unintentional beheading of Ser Jorje Dubyuh. (Sigil: The Black Geyser. Words: "Don't Mess With Texeros.")

Edited by Chyromaniac, Jun 15, 2012 @ 5:43 PM.

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#144

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Posted Jun 15, 2012 @ 11:29 AM

245: Horns are for warning of people approaching the Wall, not for performing a jazz solo.

Edited by Tricksterson, Jul 20, 2012 @ 4:25 PM.

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#145

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Posted Jun 15, 2012 @ 4:03 PM

242: I am no longer allowed to mention the unintentional beheading of Ser Jorje Dubyuh. (Sigil: The Black Geyser. Words: "Don't Mess With Texeros.")

Brilliant. But shouldn't it be #244... and Trickerston's #245?

246. Stannis being picky about grammar is not an excuse for me to be picky about numbering.
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#146

Chyromaniac

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Posted Jun 15, 2012 @ 5:41 PM

Yep- It's been fixed.
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#147

TheGreaterFool

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Posted Jul 23, 2012 @ 4:09 PM

247. Winter is coming, and it will be a long one. So it makes no sense for me to keep complaining, "the last season seemed really short"... "I can't wait for the next season"... "the last season was so good that I'm afraid next season won't be able to match it."
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#148

Galleta

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Posted Oct 20, 2012 @ 9:20 PM

248# I will never again enter into a discussion of whether the cup is half-frozen or half-thawed with Dolorous Edd.
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#149

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Posted Jan 13, 2013 @ 8:06 PM

249. Frozen zombie White Walker hands are not backscratchers. Nor are they to be used to reach the top shelves.

250. I will return all the bets placed on my 64 bracket "who will survive the Zombie Apocalypse?" pool.
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#150

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Posted Jan 19, 2013 @ 9:13 AM

251. When I am on recruit duty, I should avoid to mention the "who will survive the Zombie Apocalypse?" pool, laundary day and/or what happened to Yoren's last recruits.

The idea is to recruit more men, not to scare off the ones we already recruited.

Edited by wildling, Jan 19, 2013 @ 9:14 AM.

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