Jump to content

The Vampire Diaries Quotes: "Full-Grown Alpha Male Douche Bag"


  • Please log in to reply

350 replies to this topic

#241

awesometvgal

awesometvgal

    Channel Surfer

Posted Apr 22, 2012 @ 7:07 AM

Damon as always with the best lines - "Okay Whoopi, what do you need, candles, crystal ball, pottery wheel?"
  • 0

#242

vgerd

vgerd

    Video Archivist

Posted Apr 22, 2012 @ 11:31 AM

Another one from Damon, to Elena: "What? I said she was creepy, not ugly." Cracked my shit up.

Oh, and this one to Jeremy was kind of mean, but I still LOL'd: "Didn't you find it strange that you made a friend so quickly? Have you met you?"

Edited by vgerd, Apr 27, 2012 @ 5:00 AM.

  • 1

#243

jessied112

jessied112

    Stalker

Posted Apr 22, 2012 @ 11:36 AM

Alaric: Who knows? Maybe [Jeremy's] alter ego is a pot smoking, hippie pacifist.

Favourite line of the episode.
  • 0

#244

vgerd

vgerd

    Video Archivist

Posted Apr 22, 2012 @ 11:53 AM

My favorite line of the episode was Damon going off on Elena for her behavior, but it wasn't because the dialogue itself was particularly memorable. Just the fact that he finally called her on her BS.
  • 0

#245

BerryIsHere

BerryIsHere

    Couch Potato

Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 9:37 PM

Caroline: Are you crazy?! What if Klaus sees you?
Tyler: What's he gonna do? Draw another picture?

Tyler, stay perfect

Edited by BerryIsHere, Apr 26, 2012 @ 9:37 PM.

  • 4

#246

Rollin

Rollin

    Channel Surfer

Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 11:48 PM

Aw beat me to it! The Tyler line about the picture was the funniest, followed by:

Caroline:"I've watched the Bachelor! Fair is fair, it is Stefan's turn." Love her!
  • 0

#247

Milys

Milys

    Just Tuned In

Posted Apr 28, 2012 @ 9:39 PM

Klaus: "We are strange bedfellows, you and I. You know all of this reminds me of our time together in the '20s."

Stefan: "You say that like I'm supposed to have happy memories about it."

Klaus: "Well there were moments. Real friendship. Brotherhood."

Damon: "Oh, he already has a brother. Not to be, you know, territorial or anything."

Oh, Damon. You finally verbalized the flaw in Klaus' Plan BFF Stefan: Stefan already has you.
This made me smile.
  • 0

#248

BerryIsHere

BerryIsHere

    Couch Potato

Posted May 3, 2012 @ 9:13 PM

I'm stuck between which two lines were my favorite tonight!

Klaus: Just between us girls, who would you have picked?

Tyler: I'm not your little bitch anymore!
  • 0

#249

hope4all

hope4all

    Video Archivist

Posted May 4, 2012 @ 7:44 AM

Damon: Once more with feeling!

Bonus points for a Buffy shout out. (I'm taking it as one anyway)
  • 1

#250

ElectricBoogalo

ElectricBoogalo

    Stalker

Posted May 4, 2012 @ 4:17 PM

I took it as a Buffy shout out too! I know the phrase existed long before the musical episode, but I take my Buffy shout outs any way I can.
  • 0

#251

DigiKing

DigiKing

    Fanatic

Posted May 4, 2012 @ 8:52 PM

Definitely loved the "Once more with feeling!"
  • 0

#252

Amester0120

Amester0120

    Fanatic

Posted May 11, 2012 @ 6:45 PM

Bonnie: It was her call.
Damon: Know what else was her call? Every bad thing ever.

Tyler: We've gotta travel light. So what do you need?
Caroline: Just you. And maybe a curling iron.

Damon: Our life is one, big proverbial coin toss.

Damon: Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you not being the dumbest brother on Earth?
  • 2

#253

brothertonbanks

brothertonbanks

    Fanatic

Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 8:28 PM

Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever.

I voted for this one in the Tubey Awards for best single line of dialogue.
  • 0

#254

TWoP Howard

TWoP Howard

    TWoP Moderator

Posted Jul 23, 2012 @ 1:22 AM

Do you remember what episode that was from? I could picture the scene as soon as I read it in the Tubeys, but I canít pinpoint the episode.

Never mind! It occurred to me that I could look back in this thread and match the date the quote was mentioned to the episode, which led me to "1912." The clothes I was picturing Stefan and Damon in should have been a tipoff for me.

#255

ElectricBoogalo

ElectricBoogalo

    Stalker

Posted Oct 12, 2012 @ 6:06 AM

<Tyler's cell phone rings. Caller ID says it's Carol>
Klaus as Tyler: You incessant woman!...Hey mom, what's up?
  • 0

#256

awesometvgal

awesometvgal

    Channel Surfer

Posted Oct 13, 2012 @ 9:17 AM

LOVED the Kyler phone moment. That and Caroline's "did you just call me love?" had me grinning like hell!
  • 0

#257

kcblue86

kcblue86

    Fanatic

Posted Oct 18, 2012 @ 8:00 PM

Stefan: What's in the bag Damon?
Damon: Just a little snack. Church always makes me hungry. The whole "blood of Christ" thing.

Tyler: I'm not gonna let a hunter stop me from being where I'm supposed to be.
Caroline: Plus, if he shows his face, I'm gonna kick his ass.

Between that and her speech to Elena about April, Caroline was in full-on awesome mode tonight.

Stefan: This is for my Uncle Zach, my friend Lexi, and Alaric.

It was the casual, not-so-subtle way he used all people Damon had killed.

Damon: Well, here's a newsflash: We're not Japanese!
  • 0

#258

ElectricBoogalo

ElectricBoogalo

    Stalker

Posted Oct 19, 2012 @ 4:24 AM

Connor: Connor. Jordan.

Damon: Damon. Germaphobe.
  • 0

#259

SnowFox

SnowFox

    Fanatic

Posted Oct 19, 2012 @ 9:41 AM

If I was going to kill them, I wouldn't have blown them up. I would have had a dinner party.
  • 2

#260

Chasity

Chasity

    Video Archivist

Posted Oct 19, 2012 @ 10:17 AM

Caroline: A bunch of people died and we're having sex.
Tyler: Grief sex. It's healthy
  • 0

#261

MrsJeter

MrsJeter

    Couch Potato

Posted Oct 22, 2012 @ 7:36 PM

Damon: Don't look at me, I always take credit for killing people.

Edited by MrsJeter, Oct 22, 2012 @ 7:36 PM.

  • 0

#262

sab85

sab85

    Fanatic

Posted Oct 23, 2012 @ 1:26 AM

Damon: That seat's taken.

Aww, look, he does care.
  • 0

#263

ElectricBoogalo

ElectricBoogalo

    Stalker

Posted Oct 26, 2012 @ 4:17 AM

Meredith: Tell me that is not a bomb.
Damon: Okay, it's a kitten. An adorable exploding kitten.
Meredith: Why didn't you call your brother?
Damon: Because I'm proud and stubborn and oh look, you're already here.

Meredith: How'd you get stuck on hunter duty?
Damon: Stefan had a physics test.

Elena: I need bourbon to get through Rebekah's party. Yours is better than Stefan's.
Damon: Top drawer in the dresser.
Elena: You keep alcohol in your underwear drawer?
Damon: No.

Stefan: You're fixating.
Elena: No, I'm just quietly hating.

Elena: Did you blow up [April]'s dad's house to get revenge on the council?
Rebekah: I don't give a damn about some dodgy middle aged council.

Klaus: Why don't you tell me where my imagination deviates from reality?

Connor: Is a hospital really the best place for a germaphobe?
Damon: Did I say that I was a germaphobe? Sorry, I meant vampire.

Damon: Stings, doesn't it?
Klaus: Hello, mate.
(okay, maybe not the cleverest dialogue, but the delivery cracked me up)

Damon: Keep it up, buddy. We'll be scraping you off the ceiling.
Connor: You two are gonna kill me anyway.
Klaus: Well, let's not be too hasty. I feel like we're just getting to know each other.
Damon: Let's start with the basics: where are you from, what do you know, maybe you can cue me in on this "greater evil" because I've fought this guy and there's nothing more evil than that.
Klaus: Yeah, truth be told, I'm as evil as it gets. (unspoken: see my pony drawings!)
Connor: I'm not telling you anything. You think if you kill me, it's gonna be over? There's another waiting to take my place.
Damon: See, this is what I like to hear - vague threats, ominous prophecies, disappearing tattoos.

Klaus: Nice try, but I'm faster than your average vampire.

Stefan: You came.
Klaus: I did. And for future reference, one voicemail is just as effective as nine.

Jeremy: See? I told you I could be a badass.
Damon: Badasses don't say that.

Caroline: It's not every day you're summoned by a Salvatore. (unspoken: unless you're Bonnie and the Salvatores need you to do some witchy magic stuff to save Elena)

Stefan: Do you remember what you were like before you were a vampire?
Caroline: You mean an insecure control freak?

Edited by ElectricBoogalo, Oct 26, 2012 @ 7:31 AM.

  • 1

#264

DigiKing

DigiKing

    Fanatic

Posted Oct 26, 2012 @ 3:42 PM

This past episode was in fact full of quotables, nice run-down there. I distinctly remember thinking the "exploding kitten" line was bound to show up here.

Edited by DigiKing, Oct 26, 2012 @ 3:43 PM.

  • 0

#265

ElectricBoogalo

ElectricBoogalo

    Stalker

Posted Nov 2, 2012 @ 5:56 AM

Elena: Something tells me that college isn't in my future anymore.
Damon: Oh, stop with the pity party. If I can go to college, you can go to college.
Bonnie: You? Went to college?
Damon: Sure, plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls.
Bonnie: You're disgusting.
Damon: I KNOW.

Elena: What if I'm a ripper?
Damon: You're not a ripper.
Elena: What if I am?
Damon: Well, then pick someone and we'll find out.
(Elena looks around)
Damon: Stoner guys are no good to grab. They're too paranoid and you don't want the extra buzz. Now she is fun sized, but geeky girls are inherently suspicious of anyone who's nice to them. What you want is the little blonde. Pretty girl, self absorbed, easily flattered. You just have to separate her from the pack and make your move....She's young and healthy, she'll heal up like a charm, just keep your eye on the ball. (that logic explains exactly why Damon picked Caroline back in S1)

Klaus: Looks like I'll have to beef up the hybrid security detail.
Stefan: I was gonna take him but I figured you went through such trouble to truss him up in your red room of pain. (ha, OF COURSE Stefan read Fifty Shades of Grey!)

Stefan: I should have known you were up to something when you healed Elena from the werewolf poison without asking for anything in return.
Klaus: I was feeling benevolent.
Stefan: You're never benevolent. Who is this guy? What's The Five?
Klaus: So many questions.
Stefan: It's a good thing I have nothing to do today except get answers out of you.

Damon: Everybody is someone's uncle or father or camp counselor or Bible study teacher, Elena.

Bonnie: What's going on?
Damon: Nothing. Elena's educating me on the importance of feelings.

Flyer: MURDER HOUSE. Come as your favorite victim or killer.
Damon: Oh nice, the answer to all of our problems: a frat party. Douche central - which is why you will be eating very well tonight.

Connor: Arrrrrrgh.
Klaus: You feeling all right, mate? Are the shackles too tight?

Klaus: I could kiss the council for burning up all the vervain in town. They've made my life so much easier. Rebekah, love, eat your veggies.
Rebekah: I'm not eating until you apologize.
Klaus: For which indiscretion? There have been so many.
Rebekah: You broke my neck.
Klaus: You threw away Elena's blood so I can't make any more hybrids.
Rebekah: Because you took me for granted.
Klaus: That's what big brothers do, sweetheart.
Stefan: Let me just name the million other people I'd rather be having dinner with right now.
Klaus: Fine. I'm sorry. I often forget how delicate you are. Forgive me?
Rebekah: I'll take it under consideration.

Frankie: Hey, I'm Frankie, unassuming serial killer.
Damon: I'm Jack, and these are the two lovely ladies I just rippered.
Frankie: Welcome to the murder house. Bloody Marys free until midnight. Enjoy yourselves.
Damon: Well, hats off to these idiots. Oh, look. Professor Creepy.

Damon: Inebriated sleazeballs all covered in blood. Come on, pick one.
Elena: I think I found one.
Damon: Roofie guy? Nice choice.

Damon: Now remember, the idea is NOT to kill him. Elena, step away from the ledge.

Klaus: You'll be blabbing this secret to the first boy who calls you pretty. I mean, it's pathetic, really, isn't it, how she continues to hand her heart to any man who shows her a hint of affection. You'd think she would have learned by now from the endless cycle of disappointment and deception.
Rebekah: But I haven't. Instead I stay with you and let you leach every moment of happiness from my life. You know, at least I fared better than Finn. Klaus left him daggered because he was tired of his judgment.
Klaus: No, Finn was a dullard. He's more interesting lying in a box.

Edited by ElectricBoogalo, Nov 2, 2012 @ 5:58 AM.

  • 0

#266

mac123x

mac123x

    Fanatic

Posted Nov 3, 2012 @ 6:38 PM

Matt's parting shot to Rebekah had me rolling. "... and I'm keeping the truck".
  • 1

#267

Amester0120

Amester0120

    Fanatic

Posted Nov 8, 2012 @ 9:06 PM

Stefan: Let me just name the million other people I'd rather be having dinner with right now.



Loved that and from tonight:

Damon: Is that where you've been all day? Buying bossypants?

Edited by Amester0120, Nov 8, 2012 @ 9:06 PM.

  • 3

#268

ElectricBoogalo

ElectricBoogalo

    Stalker

Posted Nov 9, 2012 @ 4:26 AM

Damon: I had to punch through a boiler room basement into a septic tank to get into this stupid tunnel.

Stefan: You're just gonna have to trust me on that.
Damon: I don't want to. Don't have to. Not gonna.

Elena: You missed.

Stefan: Is that my journal?
Damon: I had to go through six locks to get it.

Damon: Did you figure out how to tell Klaus you lost a hunter and a hybrid?
Stefan: He's on a plane which means I get to live for another six hours.
Damon: Well, I got your back, you know, when he comes to murder you.
Stefan: Thanks. Thanks for not saying anything to Elena.
Damon: About what? The cure we don't have, can't find, and probably doesn't exist? You're welcome.

Damon: Sure, Stefan. Since you asked, I'd be happy to go on a suicide mission with you for a potentially non-existent cure. No problem.
Stefan: Yet a couple hours ago, you were ready to rip my heart out.
Damon: Because you were being a pain in the ass. Answer me one thing: why do you want a cure?
Stefan: What kind of question is that?
Damon: A legitimate one. You want to cure her because she's a vampire and she's not cut out to be or you can't love her if she is one?
Stefan: I'll always love her. But she's not supposed to be this person. I don't want her to be.
Damon: Well, if I'm going to ride this fairy tale to its conclusion, I want to be clear about one thing.
Stefan: What's that?
Damon: I'm fine with her either way, brother. So if I do this, I'm doing it for you.
  • 0

#269

redbudrose

redbudrose

    Fanatic

Posted Nov 9, 2012 @ 10:50 AM

Klaus: I'm sorry mate, are you going to answer or should I assume you're back to being, how did you phrase it, ah yes, my little bitch.
  • 1

#270

Amester0120

Amester0120

    Fanatic

Posted Nov 15, 2012 @ 9:04 PM

Katherine: Don't you ever stop crying. Poor Elena, always the victim.

Bonnie: We need you to kill a vampire.
Jeremy: Great gimme a stake I'll kill Damon right now.
Damon: Easy there, Van Helsing.
  • 0