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The Vampire Diaries Quotes: "Full-Grown Alpha Male Douche Bag"


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#1

Amester0120

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Posted Nov 20, 2009 @ 5:34 PM

A place for the delicious dialogue of VD

Damon: I don't side with anyone. You pissed me off, I want you dead.

Damon: I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I'm vengeful.

Jeremy: Art implies culture and culture implies... not you.

Damon: You have to be invited in.
Logan: I live alone.
Damon: (Snorts) That sucks.

Edited by Amester0120, Nov 20, 2009 @ 7:57 PM.

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#2

for the aliens

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Posted Nov 20, 2009 @ 8:00 PM

Damon: Does it get tiring, being so righteous?
Elena: It flares up in the presence of psychopaths.

Damon: We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!

My absolute favourite.

Damon: What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped!
Caroline: You've gotta read the first book first. It won't make sense if you don't.
Damon: I miss Anne Rice. She was so on it.
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#3

JennyLiz

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Posted Nov 23, 2009 @ 7:10 PM

Damon: I have to go to the party angry. Who knows what I'll do.

Damon: Stefan smiles. Alert the media!

Vicki: Why do I need to pee? I thought I was dead.

Stefan: Don't. Ever. Threaten. Me. Again
(I love Badass!Stefan)
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#4

kcblue86

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Posted Nov 29, 2009 @ 4:52 PM

Damon: Believe it or not Stefan, some girls don't need my persuasion. Some girls just can't resist my good looks, my style, and my charm and my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift. (stabs stefan) This is John Varvados, dude. Dick move.

Stefan: Yes, being a 150 year old teenager has been the height of my happiness.

Edited by kcblue86, Nov 29, 2009 @ 4:54 PM.

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#5

badlydone

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Posted Dec 4, 2009 @ 5:33 AM

Caroline: I was hoping to see you again

Damon: I know

Caroline Cocky much?

Damon: very much
(a line that sums up his character and had badlydone swooning like a fangirl)


Damon: I'm not going to feed off a human for at least a (beat) week. I'll adopt the Stefan diet. Only nothing with....feathers (hee, the visual alone is priceless)


And because nothing beats a little Salvatore brothers role playing:

Stefan: Yes Stefan. Now that the secret society of vampire haters is off our back I can now go back to my routine of "how can I destroy Stefan's life this week?"


Damon: And I can go back to sulking and Elena longing and forehead brooding. (so much of IS is in the delivery)
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#6

blixie2

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Posted Dec 28, 2009 @ 9:47 PM

Damon: She's been cooped up in your room all day. She's not Anne Frank.

Damon: That's for me to know, and you to...dot dot dot...

Damon: You can't roofie me like some drunk sorority girl. I thought we were having a moment...

Caroline: I'm worse than shallow, I'm a kiddie pool.
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#7

Amester0120

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Posted Jan 31, 2010 @ 2:28 PM

He was invited in.

Caroline: Lesbian-friend necklace? Cause we're freaky like that

Bonnie: You tried to kill me!
Damon: But I didn't! And if I wanted to I would have...does that not count for anything?
Bonnie: You know I can start fires with my mind. Fires kill vampires right?

Stefan: I'm really sorry it won't be of any help to your diabolical plan: the sequel.
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#8

blixie2

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Posted Feb 1, 2010 @ 1:05 PM

Damon: "You're pathetic when you're fishing.
Stefan: "..and you're transparent when you're deflecting."
Damon: "Don't you have school?"

Hee, I love Salvatore Brothers banter.
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#9

Allie5687

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Posted Feb 1, 2010 @ 3:34 PM

From Bloodlines:

Damon: What, you don't like pickles? What is wrong with you?

From tonight's episode:

Damon: (about Elena's nakedness) If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Edited by Allie5687, Feb 4, 2010 @ 11:49 PM.

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#10

Safrodite

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Posted Feb 5, 2010 @ 6:33 AM

From the latest episode:

Elena: You're a powerful witch goddess. Seize the day, Brumhilda!


Also that comment that Stefan made about Van Helsing to Alaric...

Edited by Safrodite, Feb 8, 2010 @ 1:06 PM.

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#11

lovethesarcasm

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Posted Feb 5, 2010 @ 4:26 PM

From Children of the Damned:

Damon: Can I trust him?
Elena: I'm wearing Vervaine, Damon, it's not gonna work.
Damon: I'm not compelling you. I just want you to answer me. Honestly.
Elena: ... Of course you can.

Damon: Of course I was gonna do it by myself, because the only one I can count on is ME! You made sure of that many years ago, Stefan. But you... *looks at Elena* You had me fooled.
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#12

miashay

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Posted Feb 5, 2010 @ 4:36 PM

From Children of the Damned:

Elena: What exactly is a grimoire, anyway?

Damon: It's a witch's cookbook.

Stefan: Every spell that a witch casts is unique onto itself, so every witch would document their work...

Damon: Yeah, cookbook.

Something about that cracks me up.
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#13

blixie2

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Posted Feb 8, 2010 @ 12:38 PM

From Children of The Damned:

Damon: If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Damon: You know I really like this whole menage-a-threesome team thing, it's got a bit of kink to it.

Damon: I'll snap her neck, and you and I will have a vampire girlfriend.

Heh. Given the context of their prior threesome with Katherine I found of all this deliciously dirty, hilarious, and telling, about what matters most to Damon.
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#14

bluegray73

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Posted Feb 11, 2010 @ 9:25 PM

From tonight's episode, where Grams showed Damon who's boss: "Get off my damn porch!"
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#15

ILoveRomances

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Posted Feb 11, 2010 @ 11:16 PM

From Fool Me Once:

Grams to Damon: Sprits talk and so does my granddaughter.
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#16

Pogo Possum

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Posted Feb 12, 2010 @ 12:26 AM

From Fool me Once:

Ben: Is that all you got?

Stefan: No. I have this.
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#17

femlyn2

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Posted Feb 13, 2010 @ 11:24 AM

From Children fo the Damned:

Annabelle: We slipped him some blood when he started getting all poser slayer with that [ACTUAL VAMPIRE] compass.
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#18

blixie2

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Posted Feb 13, 2010 @ 8:57 PM

From Fool Me Once:

Elena: "I'm not gonna say I'm sorry for getting the grimoire without you last night, because....I'm not really."

So awesome, that's why Elena rocks.
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#19

jediylva

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Posted Feb 15, 2010 @ 5:44 AM

Damon to Jeremy: "Hot triumphs weird".
Lovely lovely advice during family night :)
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#20

Sedruol

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Posted Mar 8, 2010 @ 11:04 PM

A couple quotes I didn't see in here already (from Episode 2):

Elena: "When you lose someone, it stays with you, always reminding you how easy it is to get hurt."

Damon (after Stefan jumps on the roof): "Not bad! Have you been eating bunnies?" (the random snarkiness never gets old)


From Episode 4:

Elena: "Look, you're the mystery guy and I like that ... but with mystery comes secrets... and this thing with Katherine..."

(later in the same episode)

Elena: "Trust is earned; I can't just magically hand it over..."

Edited by Sedruol, Mar 8, 2010 @ 11:14 PM.

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#21

Ghanima

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Posted Mar 26, 2010 @ 12:52 PM

From A Few Good Men

Alaric: “I don’t know, it’s just weird, me being raffled off like a Disney cruise."

Jenna: “I can’t believe I’m going to do this. I am totally going to ruin this moment.”

“Who cares…She left you, she sucks,” sweet and dickish at the same time, how very Damon.
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#22

Sir_Fireboard

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Posted Apr 2, 2010 @ 2:31 AM

From There Goes The Neighbourhood:

Pearl: "I have 400 years on you, little boy. I'll rip you from limb to limb without even blinking and you know it. I'll be in touch."

Pwned, Damon.

Edited by Sir_Fireboard, Apr 2, 2010 @ 2:33 AM.

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#23

Amester0120

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Posted Apr 2, 2010 @ 6:16 PM

Stefan: Have you thought anymore about what you're going to do?
Elena: About what? Isobel, my vampire birth mother, who's related to my vampire ancestor, Katherine, who screwed over your vampire brother. Nah haven't thought about it at all.

Elena: Have you ever even been on a double date?
Stefan: Oh absolutely, '72 Hef and the twins...
Elena: What?
Stefan: Oh yeah playmates. I got Miss June.

Jenna: (whispers) Quick, hide! We're not here.
Kelly: (whispers) Why, where did we go?
Jenna: Children under our care at 5 o'clock.
(I loved Melinda Clarke's delivery!)

Stefan: Is that what I seem like?
Matt: Pretty much
Stefan Hm. What a dick.

Edited by Amester0120, Apr 2, 2010 @ 6:34 PM.

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#24

shirarose1

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Posted Apr 7, 2010 @ 2:50 PM

From There Goes the Neighbourhood:

Elena: If it isn't vampires, it's girlfriends.
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#25

mythsnstuff

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Posted Apr 8, 2010 @ 8:17 PM

Damon: I've got a quart of soccer mom in the fridge.
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#26

Elli DC

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Posted Apr 8, 2010 @ 8:22 PM

Damon: If I had a good side, not a way to get on it.

The exchange with Alaric: I know you hate me. Everyone hates me.

Damon to Elena: You can drive the getaway car!

Damon to Elena again: I can't protect you! (loved that little speech, hope Cindy gets the whole bit for the recap).
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#27

JennyLiz

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Posted Apr 8, 2010 @ 8:25 PM

Damon: His love lifts you up where you belong.
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#28

lovethesarcasm

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Posted Apr 8, 2010 @ 9:24 PM

Damon: I can't protect you Elena. I don't know how many vampires there are in there. *snaps fingers* That's how long it takes you to get your head ripped off. I have to be able to get in, and get out, I can't be distracted with your safety. Or, this will end up a blood bath that no one will walk away from, including Stefan... I know, I get it. Understand?

Damon: That was fun. Oh don't look at me like that. I know you hate me. Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny... we were BAD ASS.
*Alaric punches Damon*
Damon: It happens.
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#29

Sir_Fireboard

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Posted Apr 9, 2010 @ 3:57 AM

Damon: I say we go to Pearl's, bust down the door, and annihilate the idiot that attacked us last night.
Stefan: Yeah, and then what? We turn to the rest of the house of vampires and say, "Oops, sorry."?

The rest of that scene was full of great lines, but it would take too long to transcribe it all.
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#30

fengshoe

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Posted Apr 9, 2010 @ 4:40 AM

Elena: Which means nothing if you're not safe too.
Stefan: What do you mean, I'm perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self serving psychopath on my side.
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