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#2881

Nocturne

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Posted Apr 23, 2012 @ 4:32 PM

I also like the show because while Steve comes down hard on these women, there's always a reason for it and he really does seem to want them to do well and be happy. He's not interested in tearing them down for its own sake.


I definitely agree with this. Some of these women, there's just no other way to even try to penetrate their thick skulls. However, I too see that he's not doing it for show.

I wonder if they're only using men who live in New Orleans or if Steve flew in "talent" from other cities. When I lived in New Orleans I always had a problem meeting men, so I'd be interested to see how many quality men are from actual NOLA.


I live there now (since November) and while I'm meeting men, all of the men I'm meeting and interested in are already spoken for. It's still early, but I'm wondering where all the single men are in New Orleans since they're saying that New Orleans is one of the top cities for singles right now. That said, if I had to guess I'm thinking that some of the "talent" are a mix of locals as well as guys flown in. New Orleans is a hot bed for the film industry now so there are many people living here who are into acting or getting on tv these days.
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#2882

Houddy

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Posted Apr 23, 2012 @ 5:21 PM

Plus, Steve was personally offended that she was ripping into that guy so badly when he didn't do anything wrong, as well as, the superficial nature of the complaints. Usually, as far as my personal life is concerned, the person I just dated would have to have actually done something bad or had some really unappealing characteristics in general to go off like that.

Yes, this. There is nothing wrong with her not being attracted to him, but the typical, sane reaction to that is to just have a nice time go home and tell your friends you just weren't into him, or he wasn't your type. I think Donna is so obsessed with her ticking clock that she just feels like Butler was wasting her time and she actually resented him for it when he was really little more than a tool to help her get over the very thing that she did. And yes, relationships have formed on some seasons but I don't think that was ever really the objection, just a happy accident.

At least now it is glaringly apparent why she is alone. Girl is pretty at best but she seems to think she is on par with a George Clooney level guy (insert celebrity of your choice here if Clooney isn't your thing) and she's just not. Perhaps with a less desperate, needy and dismissive attitude she could be, but she's got desperation dripping off of her, she constantly needs attention and she is so dismissive she couldn't even remember his name on their date. She will very likely die alone if she doesn't get over herself. The interesting thing is, women with ticking clocks are usually a lot less particular because they want to get their baby before time runs out, but I'd say Donna is quite possibly the most particular, judgmental woman on this show.

Barbie impressed me. She's actually very pretty and seems quite sweet. I will never understand why some women think they have to inflate every part of their body to get attention. It is terribly sad to me.

I have to agree with the guys on the ass picture. I'm a straight female and the first thing i thought of was that she was presenting her preferred access point. Not necessarily the first impression she wants to make.

The big one who could be a drag queen just sucks in every possible way and I hope she is very different IRL to her kids because the impression she is giving off is that they are an annoyance that she wishes didn't exist (and seems to pretend don't exist every chance she gets).

I agree that the glass thing was the biggest "red flag'. Seriously, I'd be more worried that I'm dating a guy who doesn't wash his dishes than that he's got other women around.
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#2883

CoyoteBlue

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Posted Apr 23, 2012 @ 5:55 PM

she is so dismissive she couldn't even remember his name on their date.

And the way she talked about him - unless he had a toxic level of unwashed stink hovering around him in a cloud that we couldn't see/experience, there was no basis for the way she talked like he was teeming with communicable diseases. It seriously makes me wonder if she's got mysophobia or something.

I have to agree with the guys on the ass picture. I'm a straight female and the first thing i thought of was that she was presenting her preferred access point.

Yeah, I thought "Good thing you weren't wearing red pants - you're presenting like a baboon in heat." I mean, I gathered that she wasn't intentionally going for that, but there was a definite visceral first reaction.

Seriously, I'd be more worried that I'm dating a guy who doesn't wash his dishes than that he's got other women around.

Yeah, I would have at least teased him about his dishwashing skills and see how he handles the lipstick part of it. I thought they were a bit heavy-handed with the lipstick; that was such a bad example of an "unwashed glass". A light smear would have been better. Or a dirty glass in the sink with the full lipstick mark.

Then again, I'd probably ask him if he was a cross-dresser - lipstick, purse, shoe... Suuuure, the gals are leaving those behind (because who needs their purse on a regular basis!).

Edited by CoyoteBlue, Apr 23, 2012 @ 5:56 PM.

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#2884

Houddy

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Posted Apr 23, 2012 @ 6:04 PM

because who needs their purse on a regular basis!

Or their shoe! Who forgets their shoe? How drunk do you have to be to forget that you came in with two shoes and now only have one on? Now that you bring it up, cross dresser is really the only thing that makes sense.

And I do have to give props to Elizabeth for pointing out all her personal "red flags" like the no toast, not pulling out her chair, but still getting to know the guy and having what looked like a pretty good time. To me that's what this show is about (well, other than the glorious trainwreckyness of it all), getting past all the hang ups that keep them from getting to know people.

Seriously, who knows, Butler could have a hot friend he might have hooked Donna up with if she hadn't been such a colossal bitch to him. But she couldn't be bothered giving him the time of day. I didn't find him attractive but he wasn't so hideously deformed that I wouldn't have spent a nice evening talking to him like he was a fellow human being. She just seemed so unnecessarily bitch to him. Did she find photos of him at a Donkey Show because nothing I saw warranted her reaction to him, unless she is the shallowest human being on Earth.
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#2885

ScrubMonkey

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 3:01 AM

The high heel under the sofa would be the only thing I'd raise an eyebrow at. If it were the first time in a man's apartment and it was a casual date (to me, two things that are already diametrically opposed) I wouldn't think badly of him for lipstick on a glass. First of all, he's probably not recently left the monkhood. Second, he could've had a mother, sister, female friend or aunt over for lunch. Third, I once rented a place with a really crappy dishwasher that actually baked in my lipstick rings instead of removing them, so stuff happens.

But a stray high heel under the sofa? That speaks of sloppy housekeeping if not sloppy bedmates. That would feel a bit icky.

I probably would never see it unless I dropped a comb or something though because I don't snoop. I never have. I hate when people snoop on me so why would I do it to someone else. Some people even snoop right in front of you when they visit which is even weirder. I don't just mean dates, but anyone.

With Donna, I thought Steve mainly misphrased things. She didn't "mistreat" the guy because she was polite enough while she was there. The name thing mainly made her seem ditzy (which she kinda does to me, anyway.) She talked smack about him at home but he didn't know that. However her red flag list is a bit OCD and will keep her single. Hygiene is fine - I hate dirty fingernails too (unless he's working on a car, obviously) and generally unkempt teeth or nails on a man. Those are always the one that want to fish for loose change too if you know what I mean. Just give him a gift card to a mani pedi place and cut him loose, girl.
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#2886

AtlanticVamp

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 1:09 PM

The high heel under the sofa would be the only thing I'd raise an eyebrow at. If it were the first time in a man's apartment and it was a casual date (to me, two things that are already diametrically opposed) I wouldn't think badly of him for lipstick on a glass. First of all, he's probably not recently left the monkhood. Second, he could've had a mother, sister, female friend or aunt over for lunch. Third, I once rented a place with a really crappy dishwasher that actually baked in my lipstick rings instead of removing them, so stuff happens.

But a stray high heel under the sofa? That speaks of sloppy housekeeping if not sloppy bedmates. That would feel a bit icky.


Yeah, the shoe was the other thing that was a little strange. You have to be having a messy night to just leave a high heel behind. Worse, it also makes me think the guy got aggressive, and the chick ran screaming and left a shoe behind!

However, I watched a lot of TV in my childhood, and remember tons of incidents on soap operas and some sitcoms in which some woman would leave behind an earring, scarf, or other non-essential accessory in a man's house to either mark her territory or to have an excuse to come back to see him. Either way, it's not a savory look.


With Donna, I thought Steve mainly misphrased things. She didn't "mistreat" the guy because she was polite enough while she was there. The name thing mainly made her seem ditzy (which she kinda does to me, anyway.) She talked smack about him at home but he didn't know that. However her red flag list is a bit OCD and will keep her single. Hygiene is fine - I hate dirty fingernails too (unless he's working on a car, obviously) and generally unkempt teeth or nails on a man. Those are always the one that want to fish for loose change too if you know what I mean. Just give him a gift card to a mani pedi place and cut him loose, girl.


Thank you, Scrub Monkey. The guy himself wasn't a bad guy, and she behaved herself on the date, and actually (according to the footage included) didn't really even noticed the planted items (were there any?). All I had said earlier was she didn't go off on him, she just came home and vented to her room mates. Donna just had the poor judgement to go off about it in front of reality show cameras. Steve kind of went a little over the top for my tastes, though. Then again, I'm not 40 with no kids or husband, either. :)

Also, for full disclosure, on my original post on this episode, I had just come back from a bad date myself....:(
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#2887

annalisa

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 1:30 PM

I have watched both previous seasons of Tough Love, and I like Steve. Obviously what he is telling these women is common sense - which many of them don't have.

But, I've only seen a portion of last night's episode where the men were judging the womens' dating page and I couldn't help but think that the basic message is this....

"Ladies, stop judging men so much or you are going to be alone! Also, be very, very careful of what you put out there with your looks, attitude, personality, personal life, web page...because men are judging you All. The. Time. You never know what is going to be their deal-breaker so just...be ready...at all times...and above all else...don't forget to be a good sport about everything or he'll think your a bitch."

Here's a made-up example.

Woman to Steve: I don't like his facebook page. It says he likes to fish..I don't like fish..
Steve to Woman: That's wrong! How do you know? I took a survey and 80 out of 100 men like to fish so your odds go way down if you want someone who doesn't fish - that only 20% of the dating pool!!!! Don't be so picky, you many even like him enough to gut a fish one day. You never know! You have to be open...this fishing thing has been holding you down.

Man to Steve: Her facebook page says she likes to shop at Sephora, man that's some high maintenance shit right there. She probably does the whole facial thing and the nail thing..I don't want a woman who is so into herself.
Steve to woman about what man said: Big mistake...putting Sephora in there. Now, he thinks you're high maintenace. You have to relax, show another side of yourself, post a picture of yourself with no makeup....and a tool belt. Maybe swap out Sephora for Home Depot and mention stuff like sheet rock.

Maybe I'm a bitter kitten...I just don't understand any of it anymore.

Edited by annalisa, Apr 24, 2012 @ 1:32 PM.

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#2888

aimistrue

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 1:44 PM

I find this show so sad. Even if everyone involved is just hustling famewhore it all seems so desperate and degrading.
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#2889

AtlanticVamp

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 2:08 PM

I have watched both previous seasons of Tough Love, and I like Steve. Obviously what he is telling these women is common sense - which many of them don't have.

But, I've only seen a portion of last night's episode where the men were judging the womens' dating page and I couldn't help but think that the basic message is this....

"Ladies, stop judging men so much or you are going to be alone! Also, be very, very careful of what you put out there with your looks, attitude, personality, personal life, web page...because men are judging you All. The. Time. You never know what is going to be their deal-breaker so just...be ready...at all times...and above all else...don't forget to be a good sport about everything or he'll think your a bitch."

Here's a made-up example.

Woman to Steve: I don't like his facebook page. It says he likes to fish..I don't like fish..
Steve to Woman: That's wrong! How do you know? I took a survey and 80 out of 100 men like to fish so your odds go way down if you want someone who doesn't fish - that only 20% of the dating pool!!!! Don't be so picky, you many even like him enough to gut a fish one day. You never know! You have to be open...this fishing thing has been holding you down.

Man to Steve: Her facebook page says she likes to shop at Sephora, man that's some high maintenance shit right there. She probably does the whole facial thing and the nail thing..I don't want a woman who is so into herself.
Steve to woman about what man said: Big mistake...putting Sephora in there. Now, he thinks you're high maintenace. You have to relax, show another side of yourself, post a picture of yourself with no makeup....and a tool belt. Maybe swap out Sephora for Home Depot and mention stuff like sheet rock.

Maybe I'm a bitter kitten...I just don't understand any of it anymore.


No, annalisa, you're not a bitter kitten. Some of his ideas are archaic, like "Oh, you don't want to be high maintenance!!", or "You gotta put in work!" when there's no chemistry there. Whenever I watch this show, I do note some good things, like being open to get to know someone, and not covering your actual face with too much make-up. I get that dressing like skank will get you skanky men. And, though it's not been a problem for me, dancing on a pole will only get you pele-dancing fans (referring to last season).

But there is definitely an air of chauvinism in Steve's approach. A lot of his advice is actually about covering up what a woman really is about. I see this with his approach to Donna, and Danielle. Donna just wanted to have a clean man, and this guy's personal appearance put her off. Steve tells her that she's high maintenance. Danielle was just sitting on a reclining lawn chair and he tells her it's like she's showing off her butt. I agree that she might have gone with the other angle she took a photo from, but Steve didn't give them a pointer or two, allow them to make the ads, THEN give critiques. He just showed the ad as it was to the panel of men he assembled, and said, "This is how men think." Another example is that Stephanie was automatically branded a porn star by her makeup. Not "overly made-up", not "a little too much lipstick and eyeliner", just straight to "porn star". Backing up off the eyeliner and lipstick is good advice; telling her she resembles someone who's paid to have sex is not.

Finally, maybe Tough Love and Steve Ward are good indicators of what men are really looking for. Maybe Steve has his finger on the pulse of male desire and attraction. However, he's obviously not the last word, and not all men behave in the way this show indicates.
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#2890

ribboninthesky1

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 5:17 PM

I don't understand why Tiffany is so intent on hiding the fact that she has three children. I mean, even if you don't want to mention it on the first date, that many kids is probably a dealbreaker for many (quality) men, so might as well separate the wheat from the chaff early on by being honest about it. Of course, I also think if you're not comfortable with the stigma associated with OOW children, perhaps birth control should have been a priority. One child - I understand. Accidents happen. But 3 children? Two by a married man? She reminds me of a childhood friend with similar circumstances, who would get defensive if a man judged her for having OOW children.
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#2891

AtlanticVamp

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 5:29 PM

I don't understand why Tiffany is so intent on hiding the fact that she has three children. I mean, even if you don't want to mention it on the first date, that many kids is probably a dealbreaker for many (quality) men, so might as well separate the wheat from the chaff early on by being honest about it. Of course, I also think if you're not comfortable with the stigma associated with OOW children, perhaps birth control should have been a priority. One child - I understand. Accidents happen. But 3 children? Two by a married man? She reminds me of a childhood friend with similar circumstances, who would get defensive if a man judged her for having OOW children.


She reminds me of Avonte from last season who was doinking Shawn Stockman on the DL ...er, I mean, was in a spiritual marriage with him. When you find out he's married, and you still get into it, and you have kids with him, you've made a choice you have to live with. You've also created a family with him, so you can't just leave it off. Sorry, but as a single woman, I can name at least three that have spaces to mention a family (eHarmony, Match.com, Zoosk). Tiffany's just bullshitting.

eta: forgot her name for a minute.

Edited by AtlanticVamp, Apr 24, 2012 @ 5:32 PM.

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#2892

ScrubMonkey

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Posted Apr 24, 2012 @ 8:51 PM

It does begin to seem at times, maybe just because there are only female contestants on this show, that it's all on the woman to adapt to the man. Maybe they should have some male contestants in another house going through the same challenges at the same time, or something.

Yeah, the shoe was the other thing that was a little strange. You have to be having a messy night to just leave a high heel behind. Worse, it also makes me think the guy got aggressive, and the chick ran screaming and left a shoe behind!


Eww, yeah. There's definitely that too. Or he has such a regular girlfriend that she changes clothes there often, keeps stuff there, and was bringing stuff there or home and dropped something. The shoe could've led to all sorts of possibilities...Ha. Steve should've put a gleaming coin on the floor and hoped they'd lean down to get it. Look! Shoe!

Edited by ScrubMonkey, Apr 24, 2012 @ 8:51 PM.

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#2893

Houddy

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 5:11 PM

It does begin to seem at times, maybe just because there are only female contestants on this show, that it's all on the woman to adapt to the man.

The reason it doesn't bother me is that it's not really just women and men, it's women specifically looking to mate and men they want to pick from. So really, if these women have the specific goal of finding a man they do have to play by the guys rules. If they want to just let nature take it's course, then don't follow Steve's rules. But these are women who are so desperate to snag a man that they are going to do pretty much anything to make it happen no matter how out of character it is for them. Which is sad because, while it might get them a guy in the short term, all this pretending to be the generic perfect girlfriend Steve tries to make them be, no relationship is going to last once their true personalities finally come out.

I actually feel bad for the guys (not necessarily the ones on the show because they know what's going on, but the ones these ladies go after in the future) because they are basically just prey, or a goal and these women mostly want a man, not any specific man, just a warm body to show off to their friends so they won't be the dreaded S word (single!) and are willing to play any game they have to to get one.

That said, I'd love to see a male season. Maybe Steve's sister (I could swear I saw a show about the family where he has a sister, or two) could run it, giving guys a female view of the dating scene. Could be interesting. I did enjoy the couples season because it seemed a little more honest about trying to fix relationships (as honest as this mess can be)
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#2894

AtlanticVamp

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 5:25 PM

That said, I'd love to see a male season. Maybe Steve's sister (I could swear I saw a show about the family where he has a sister, or two) could run it, giving guys a female view of the dating scene. Could be interesting. I did enjoy the couples season because it seemed a little more honest about trying to fix relationships (as honest as this mess can be)


I would like to see a male-centered season (or two), because when it was couples, he was actually harder on the men than the women. Of course, I'm not sure that Tough Love: Men would fly, mostly because VH1's current programming appeals to women. While female viewers would probably love to see it, they'd miss the target that would benefit: guys.
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#2895

ScrubMonkey

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Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 5:01 AM

I'd love to see Tough Love: Men, or Tough Love with a male and female separate house. Steve's mom could host the men's part of the show. Let's see how the guys do when some random women are tearing apart their looks and personalities. Goose, gander, sauce.

The couples season just seemed like another The Bachelor or Joe Millionaire to me. I'm not into the fake dating shows. Oh wait...Okay, the fake dating shows that pretend to find true love at the end.
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#2896

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Posted Apr 28, 2012 @ 9:42 AM

The couples season just seemed like another The Bachelor or Joe Millionaire to me. I'm not into the fake dating shows. Oh wait...Okay, the fake dating shows that pretend to find true love at the end.


The couples season was hard for me to watch specifically because of the individual problems the couples were having. Let's just say that some of the couple's problems hit a little too close to home to watch as just entertainment.
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#2897

CoyoteBlue

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 2:57 AM

Seriously, Stephanie's giant glossy pink lips make it hard to think anything other than "vag vag vag" whenever the camera's on her. Like a puffy horizontal vagina on her face. At least stick to your more subtle lipsticks, girl, give yourself a chance.
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#2898

Empress1

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 9:14 AM

Watching this show makes me realize how little makeup I actually wear. Elizabeth, Despina, Stephanie, and Melissa in particular really slather it on. The only ones whose faces look halfway natural are Donna and Shalana (although Shalana's baby-pink gloss is all wrong for her skin tone).

I did agree with Steve re: Melissa, that talking about virginity casually was the way to go. My best friend was a virgin until she was 24. She'd meet someone, things would get to a certain point, she'd tell them she was a virgin, and THEY would panic, assuming she wanted her first time to be some big moment. And she didn't - when she lost it (to the man who's now her husband, on their third date), it was awkward and fumbling, like most first times are (and not just first times overall, but first times with a new partner), and that was fine. (I have another friend that I suspect is a 32-year-old virgin, but I'm not 100% sure and don't think it's my place to ask.)

Shalana's nickname is Miss Bitter, but I don't really see it other than her saying the men she meets won't marry her. She seems pretty shy and reserved to me.

At least stick to your more subtle lipsticks, girl, give yourself a chance.

She really needs not to inject her lips anymore, ever. They look terrible. She can't even close her mouth fully. Neutral colors would help, but her real problem is that her lips are just too unnaturally big for her face. She looks pretty with her bangs pushed back and she looked pretty on her date - I think there's a pretty woman in there, but she's just Too Much as she is right now. She has the waxy look that comes with too much Botox - her face doesn't move.

I hate the "why are you single?" question.

Also, I felt for Donna with her younger date. I'm 31 but look younger (as does Donna IMO), and I've had men in their early to mid-20s hit on me and then pull a "Wait, you're way older than I thought" when they find out my age (which I pledged long ago never to lie about). It stings a little, even though I'm generally not checking for men in their early to mid-20s (no offense). The worst was a very average-looking 40something who expressed mild disgust because he didn't date women over 25. My response was "OK, bye."

Edited by Empress1, Apr 30, 2012 @ 9:22 AM.

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#2899

ScrubMonkey

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 12:57 PM

I thought some of their dates were rude. I know this is probably just me, because it seems so common out there, but I hate when a guy takes plate from his date's food (or vice versa) on a first date. I also think feeding someone on a first date is a little icky. That just seems a bit intimate for a getting to know you meal. What if the date is allergic to something in that plate - they didn't ask because they didn't think they'd be eating any. What if they don't like the food, dressing, etc.? Just, no. But the worst is just reaching over with a fork. Yuck.

The rude one was the guy who asked about age - if you're unsure they're probably older than you thought, so just have a pleasant evening and don't call again. He didn't even just ask, he kind of blanched, said "I thought you were WAY YOUNGER" and then paused for a long time. Yikes. Unless she's talking marriage, he really didn't have to act as if he was trapped with the Crypt Keeper for eternity. Shrug it off, dude. (And by the way, who raised you? Two questions you don't ask a woman - age, and weight.)

It's sad to see them torturing themselves over these guys who really have about as many problems as they do.
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#2900

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 1:45 PM

I thought some of their dates were rude. I know this is probably just me, because it seems so common out there, but I hate when a guy takes plate from his date's food (or vice versa) on a first date. I also think feeding someone on a first date is a little icky. That just seems a bit intimate for a getting to know you meal. What if the date is allergic to something in that plate - they didn't ask because they didn't think they'd be eating any. What if they don't like the food, dressing, etc.? Just, no. But the worst is just reaching over with a fork. Yuck.


That is an interesting point, but maybe the guys aren't rude. I never met anybody with a food allergy until I was in my late thirties. I never knew food allergies existed. Maybe some of these men haven't been around people with food allergies; however, it does seem a bit familiar for someone to take food from your plate without asking. I think on a first date, it's important to figure out someone's boundaries, some people have higher boundaries than others, so what may be cool for one person is a big deal to another.
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#2901

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 2:41 PM

I thought some of their dates were rude. I know this is probably just me, because it seems so common out there, but I hate when a guy takes plate from his date's food (or vice versa) on a first date. I also think feeding someone on a first date is a little icky. That just seems a bit intimate for a getting to know you meal. What if the date is allergic to something in that plate - they didn't ask because they didn't think they'd be eating any. What if they don't like the food, dressing, etc.? Just, no. But the worst is just reaching over with a fork. Yuck.


No, ScrubMonkey, it's not just you. The first couple of dates are for getting to know you, and I wouldn't be into some dude offering me a fork full of something. Maybe if we pushed our plates together and he put a small piece on my plate to try, but that fork's been in his mouth. That's not acceptable to me.

The rude one was the guy who asked about age - if you're unsure they're probably older than you thought, so just have a pleasant evening and don't call again. He didn't even just ask, he kind of blanched, said "I thought you were WAY YOUNGER" and then paused for a long time. Yikes. Unless she's talking marriage, he really didn't have to act as if he was trapped with the Crypt Keeper for eternity. Shrug it off, dude. (And by the way, who raised you? Two questions you don't ask a woman - age, and weight.)


I thought that guy was an ass. I'm glad that Steve didn't try to justify that shit, because the guy was so wrong for that. I don't mind if a guy says "You're older than I thought," because I take it as "I take care of myself and I guess I'm holding up well!" But that guy had such an awkward pause, but I hope it was just editing.

It's sad to see them torturing themselves over these guys who really have about as many problems as they do.


Yeah, but there wouldn't be a show if Steve had to acknowledge that some guys are just as fucked up as the women who participate on this show!

Danielle really deserved to be on the hot seat. I hate to say it, but having worked in hospitality and restaurants, I've seen too many women on dates who were just too vulgar, hoping to have a hot night. Problem is, they don't realize that's all they get: ONE hot night. Being on a date is supposed to give you an opportunity to show your personality and how you represent yourself around this man. You don't want to challenge "Scarface" for the number of "F-bombs" you can drop in a couple of hours. Waggling her tongue ring at the guy was just over the top.

But.

Steve needs to back the fuck off of "YOU WANNA BE HERE?????" It's a reality show, Steve, you're not giving them a million dollars. Sure, you might help them get a man, but at the end of the day, you're only a small portion of their lives. It's not about you.
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#2902

Houddy

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 5:12 PM

I'm glad that Steve didn't try to justify that shit, because the guy was so wrong for that. I don't mind if a guy says "You're older than I thought," because I take it as "I take care of myself and I guess I'm holding up well!" But that guy had such an awkward pause, but I hope it was just editing.

The odd thing is, I could have swore when Steve was introducing the guy to us he said this was a guy who was open to dating women of all ages. She's 40 not 90! And if he thought she was actually younger than him then good for her! He thought she was in her 20s. I have a hard time buying that because she looks 40 to me. She's got amazingly young skin but she just looks like a young looking 40 to me. It's the way she dresses and styles herself. She's just not youthful. But his reaction was way OTT.

Which leads me to think...

I truly believe that Steve preps the guys, telling them the basic issues each woman has and asks the guys to do and say things to bring that out, like feeding the closed off one with your fork, or asking the old one her age or trying to get the virgin to bring it up. Since, as he said, he's not actually setting these women up with these men as a love match I'm pretty sure the guys are being heavily coached with how to act and what to ask.

I can't figure out WTF is going on with Elizabeth. She was doing so well but she snapped this ep. WTF? And Stephanie looked so cute last ep but is back to looking freakishly fake. And I'm not sure what her deal is either. I think it's fear because she just plain shut down.

Poor Danielle. I always feel bad for the ones who get drunk and act a fool because at some point they're going to see this and that shit was embarrassing. I do give her credit, though, for agreeing that it was embarrassing and pretty much taking Steve's rant. It made him look kind of stupid yelling at her when she's just sitting there like "yep, you're right I agree" and he kind of wouldn't let it go. Dude likes to yell.

And was it just me or did he and Elizabeth seem more like they were on a date and talk like boyfriend and girlfriend than she did with her actual date? IDK, they just looked so comfortable with each other while sitting there talking, even though they were pretty much arguing, there was still something so familiar and comfortable about it. It was just something that struck me immediately.
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#2903

Macthekat

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 6:21 PM

And was it just me or did he and Elizabeth seem more like they were on a date and talk like boyfriend and girlfriend than she did with her actual date? IDK, they just looked so comfortable with each other while sitting there talking, even though they were pretty much arguing, there was still something so familiar and comfortable about it. It was just something that struck me immediately.

I thought this, too. In fact, I was half-expecting them to jump each other's bones right then and there. It came off as some pretty thick sexual tension between them. They just kept pinging off each other .... made the Van Halen song "Hot for Teacher" pop into my head.
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#2904

Empress1

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 6:38 PM

The odd thing is, I could have swore when Steve was introducing the guy to us he said this was a guy who was open to dating women of all ages. She's 40 not 90!

I can’t remember if Steve said he was open to dating women of all ages or if he was open to dating older women specifically; his “[gulp] I like dating … older … girls” reply wasn’t convincing. And he clearly thought Donna was younger than he is, which made me wonder if “I’m open to dating women of all ages!” is code for “I’m open to dating women much younger than I am.” (And while I do think Donna looks younger than 40, I don’t think she looks like a 20something.)

Speaking of age differences, I wonder how old Elizabeth’s date is? She keeps talking about how he’s younger, but how young is he? If he’s 29 to her 32, that’s not a big deal, but the way she talks about it makes it seem like he’s 24 or some other big gap.

The first couple of dates are for getting to know you, and I wouldn't be into some dude offering me a fork full of something.

Co-sign. That’s too intimate for a first date. It wouldn’t be a deal-breaker, but it would be a “Wait, for real?” moment.
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#2905

cosmom

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 6:47 PM

I can't figure out WTF is going on with Elizabeth. She was doing so well but she snapped this ep. WTF? ...
And was it just me or did he and Elizabeth seem more like they were on a date and talk like boyfriend and girlfriend than she did with her actual date? IDK, they just looked so comfortable with each other while sitting there talking, even though they were pretty much arguing, there was still something so familiar and comfortable about it. It was just something that struck me immediately.


In general word to your entire post Houddy. The thing with Elizabeth was it all seemed like manufactured drama for the show. Her reactions were way out of proportion and her date conveniently excused himself for what appeared to be several minutes while Steve had his sit down with her. Again, all manufactured (but nonsensical) emotional drama with Steve, but they did seem to be interfacing quite nicely and smiley during a wider shot for people who were having it out.

That aside, Elizabeth's date, Stephon (?), is kinda growing on me. He's got a super smile and a nice little accent in his voice without it being way over the top.
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#2906

Houddy

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Posted Apr 30, 2012 @ 7:26 PM

Speaking of age differences, I wonder how old Elizabeth’s date is? She keeps talking about how he’s younger, but how young is he? If he’s 29 to her 32, that’s not a big deal, but the way she talks about it makes it seem like he’s 24 or some other big gap.

I assume she means younger than she usually dates. She strikes me as the type who dates sugar daddy's. Guys in their mid to late 40s who have very established careers doing something important in very tall buildings wearing very expensive suits.

That aside, Elizabeth's date, Stephon (?), is kinda growing on me.

He's definitely my favorite guy. He's adorable and yeah, that smile. He just seems like a really nice, sweet, fun guy. I don't care what kind of car he drives, or if he pulls out my chair (which I actually find really annoying, and don't even get me started on her comment about her dates cutting her food for her and feeding her), I'd date him in a heartbeat.
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#2907

ScrubMonkey

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Posted May 1, 2012 @ 2:55 AM

I truly believe that Steve preps the guys, telling them the basic issues each woman has and asks the guys to do and say things to bring that out,


When the one guy suddenly 'excused himself' just in time for Steve to come in, sit down, and have a LONG talk with the woman (I can't remember their names yet) it seemed like the guy was wearing an earpiece. I think it is all staged, and the guys are probably actors or fame wanna-bes.

I even wonder if one reason Steve sometimes screams and them and shocks them into tears is to keep the women a little bit off balance and not looking at the set up too closely. Because the women have to buy into it, to a certain extent, in order to care what those guys think of them.

The ageist guy was really an ass. Do those types of people think they will never get old?
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#2908

AtlanticVamp

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Posted May 1, 2012 @ 6:16 AM

The ageist guy was really an ass. Do those types of people think they will never get old?


I don't know if that's the case, but most ageist folks act that way for "practical" reasons. I put "practical" in quotes because they're all YMMV things like "I want kids, but she's got to be young enough to bear them", or "I'm a super-energetic guy, and she's gotta keep up with me".

Personally, I am sort of ageist myself. I've had two significant relationships with men older than myself, and neither of them worked out, mostly because they expected to be in charge of the relationship, and I tend to be more independent. After the second relationship tanked, I tried dating men my own age, but by then I was turning 30 and most men my own age were either married and cheating; or were hoping marry soon and have kids, and I'd already had my own. So I went younger, and it's been more successful, as they're usually not married or looking to be, and they're more willing to open to sharing the emotional and financial load of the relationship.

But even if that guy was coached, he was still being a dick.

Edited by AtlanticVamp, May 1, 2012 @ 6:17 AM.

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#2909

Petunia98

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Posted May 1, 2012 @ 12:37 PM

And was it just me or did he and Elizabeth seem more like they were on a date and talk like boyfriend and girlfriend than she did with her actual date? IDK, they just looked so comfortable with each other while sitting there talking, even though they were pretty much arguing, there was still something so familiar and comfortable about it. It was just something that struck me immediately.


I thought this, too. In fact, I was half-expecting them to jump each other's bones right then and there. It came off as some pretty thick sexual tension between them. They just kept pinging off each other .... made the Van Halen song "Hot for Teacher" pop into my head.


Oh, yes. I rewound to this part to show Mr. P. who had fallen asleep. There was so much sexual tension between them -- the way she leaned forward towards him and looked right at him -- she wouldn't look her date in the eye at all.
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#2910

ScrubMonkey

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Posted May 1, 2012 @ 1:47 PM

But even if that guy was coached, he was still being a dick.


That's what I mean. I don't consider it ageist to want to date someone in a certain age bracket, or for reasons such as wanting a family - harsh realities of biology but, understandable.

What isn't okay and to me is ageist is when people react like he did. As if she was a mummy crumbling into dust in front of his eyes. In a way that denotes some type of phobia or bigoted thought.
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