The inner thoughts Callie shared with Mark were about Arizona, and not in complaints but rather fears or using him as a sounding board. They weren't about her as an individual, her dreams, or experiences.
She bitched to him about painting her apartment while he gave her a foot massage and she drank wine from a bottle. Mark also knew about her Catholic guilt and need for the over-the-top baby shower. This was all dialed way back in season 8, but it was still presented that maybe Mark did know Callie better than Arizona.
I never got the impression that Callie and Arizona didn't get each other, and to me it kept growing.
I do believe their understanding of each other has improved, but their differences often seem to cause annoyance and frustration in the other that hovers just under the surface. I think of Callie complaining about Arizona’s need to ‘be perfect’ to Bailey before Arizona was willing to walk in front of others, and Arizona’s dislike of Callie’s tendency to over share, or her response to Callie’s need to talk Bailey out of her funk.
The deleted Valentine scene of her mentioning Mark isn't canon for a reason, things had shifted then and it wasn't necessary to use that for Callie to tell her how happy she was with her
I think that scene was deleted because Callie rolled on top of Arizona and it was censored. (It’s a position they’ve never shown them in before or since.) Arizona also jumped straight to Mark when Callie told her she needed to have a baby and they broke up.
But Callie never did anything to give Arizona reason to believe that she loved Mark the way she loved her.
For a long time Callie chose Mark’s feelings over Arizona’s. When Callie was pregnant, she treated the two equally, without any boundaries. Also, Mark, unbeknownst to Callie, explicitly implied to Arizona that he and Callie would make another kid if their baby didn’t survive. In season 8, she didn’t send Mark to his apartment with a slice of pizza because of Arizona’s feelings but rather her own. In season 9, Callie mourned Mark to the point of ridiculousness on a tv show that typically dumps dead people over a cliff never to be discussed again.
Does this mean I think Callie had any romantic feelings for Mark? No. But it means I have vast amounts of understanding for any insecurities Arizona harbors about this particular relationship. And I think Callie made a lot of selfish and hurtful mistakes.
But again, I see this as Callie not understanding how Arizona could even think Mark had more of her.
I think this is entirely possible, that doesn’t excuse her behavior and her unwillingness to listen to Arizona. It’s not like it was just one time. Callie scoffed at Arizona’s feelings about Mark on multiple occasions.
There was never a time, even in their early dating when Callie and Mark were shown as having a flirtatious, and "I feel special in a way no one else makes me relationship".
Agreed. But they still jumped into the sack on a frequent basis and Mark’s sexual prowess was discussed around Arizona ad naseum. We, the audience, witnessed Callie tell Mark that having sex with him made her sad and miss Arizona, but we never saw her offer the same confession to Arizona.
I truly believe, and I think there is evidence to support this, that the cheating was added on at the last minute to create "drama."
I can see where folks have this impression based on Shonda telling everyone that she changed everything at the last minute. But she said that right around the filming of episode 22, with Hilarie already signed for three episodes. I’m really not convinced that this was a last minute change.
They don't give Callie or Arizona enough screen time to sufficiently demonstrate what someone in Arizona's position might be feeling.
I agree that they didn’t give Arizona’s emotional POV proper screen time last season. BUT we did get a pretty good story of her physical recovery. The problem for fans of Arizona is that we spent the entire season anxiously waiting to hear Arizona’s story in her own words. Honestly, I do believe that Shonda set this up intending for the story to go two seasons. It’s annoying as hell as a fan, but that’s what Shonda does with Grey’s, she draws these arcs out forever.
Arizona being an addict, which would be perfectly plausible since she would have been in so much pain, would have been a way to destroy their trust.
It absolutely would have been an alternative angle that could have been explored. I actually wanted this story for Callie way back in season 8, post crash. Would it have been better? That remains to be seen.
I acknowledge that I will have to concede that if they say that Arizona cheated a reason other than malice, then it is cannon. However, that doesn't mean I have to accepted as being true…. Based on the argument Callie and Arizona had, her reaction to Callie confronting her over the cheating by invoking the crash, Callie's insinuation into the lawsuit, and her feeling that Callie committed a grave wrong and breach of trust by permitting Alex to sever her leg.
For me, the argument was separate from the cheating and not used by Arizona to justify it. She was attempting to apologize for the cheating (very poorly) and to agree with Callie that they were fine and getting better. I took her reaction at the end of her speech, crying and burying her head in her hands, as a sign that her words surprised and appalled her as much as they devastated Callie.
These toxic feelings and her massive insecurities due to her physical loss allowed space for cheating. But the cheating itself wasn’t caused by any desire to get back at Callie. Funny enough, it was the desire NOT to hurt Callie that ended up being her downfall.
Instead of fighting with Callie or continuing to berate her post episode 4, Arizona actively chose to shove these horrible feelings down, and to ‘be Callie’s wife.’ If we’re allowed to accept the narrative we were shown on screen, my read is that she did it because she loved Callie, but also, by episodes 9/10, was terrified she might lose her if she didn’t shape up.
And as angry as she obviously is at Callie, that’s always been her biggest fear. I think her speech to her patient in episode 13 explains it best. She told her patient that she wasn’t going to let her drag others down with her, and that’s what she tried not to do. She just utterly failed.
Is this a generous reading? Yes. But does it make sense with everything we know about Arizona’s character over the seasons, including 9? Yes.