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Toddlers & Tiaras


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#9331

cjane

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 4:59 PM

Yes, thank you. As long as you understand that in order to truly be a valid study, you will have to also consume several bottles of Mountain Dew, coat yourself with spray tan, have your eyebrows waxed... make your eyes pop!



DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE!!!!!!!!
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#9332

Oldernotwiser

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 5:02 PM

DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE! DONE!!!!!!!!


We can tell!!!!

Let us know when when the tantrum hits so we can hide...
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#9333

HowlingHills

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 6:21 PM

You can find the last three episodes (Crown Beauties, America's Ultimate, and Precious Moments) on this youtube channel:

http://www.youtube.c.../toddlerstvshow
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#9334

Shermie

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 6:45 PM

Okay, so I finally watched the Alana episode, and... wow. That was a whole lot of lard there. And fug.

First the good, such as it is for T&T:
Heaven was a little cutie, but her curly hairpiece looked like a psycho bathing cap. I've seen many of those hairpieces on this show and none have ever looked so fake.
I'm also grateful that her name was Heaven and not Nevaeh, the world's most hated name. Not that Heaven is that great, but yeah.

Laci was very cute and very awful. I can't really remember much about her except for the manufactured drama about her being missing. It was edited to look like the mom was hunting for her as Laci's age group was doing their beauty, but when she found her with Grandma, Laci wasn't even in her cupcake dress. Then (supposedly) two minutes later as Laci is going on stage, she's all dressed. Sure, editors.

Then there's Alana and her fugily. Sorry, but that family was just unfortunate looking all-around. Poor Alana got both her father's scrunched up face and nasty teeth piranha mouth and her mother's girth. Nothing good can from that gene pool. And no, it's not funny to see your fat kid revelling in her big gut nor is it something to encourage.

And yes, some kids are chubby at that age, but that is not little kid chubbiness, the kind you see on Eden, which most kids outgrow by 7 or 8. That was just the result of a bad lifestyle and I see morbid obesity in Alana's future. At least she's happy. For now.

And that weird looking hair stylist woman with the massive double chin? WHAT was that? I've never seen someone look that odd.

Alana's family was like a TLC trifecta - Half-Ton Extreme Couponing Toddler & Tiara-ing Mom. So weird.
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#9335

Indy1

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 6:45 PM

Who was the mom that withheld the ADHD medicine from her child before a pageant?


Was it Cassidy's mom? (Cassidy, sister of Jenny from the older documentary)
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#9336

whatevez

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 7:20 PM

I feel like a mean ass for saying this, because all children are beautiful in their own way or blah, blah, blah but seriously? So many of the girls on this show have been quite unfortunate looking.
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#9337

getalife

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 7:24 PM

To the poster upthread (I can't find the post) who was balking at Alana's Daisy Duke outfit: try to find the episode with Chloe; I'm sure it was last season. THAT girl worked that outfit like nobody's business. It was truly scary.

I just happened to receive an ACTRA (Canadian actors') newsletter for my daughter and there was an article about keeping childrens' rights in mind when dealing with producers, etc. One quote resonated with me: "Sometimes, in their quest to see their child achieve superstardom, parents lose sense of what is appropriate". Wow. Mickey Wood, are you listening?

Was it Cassidy's mom? (Cassidy, sister of Jenny from the older documentary)


Yes, it was indeed.
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#9338

mom42

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 8:24 PM

I don't know how to quote, but in response to Indy1: no, that dentist won't get a new boat from all the dental work. The parents will just pop a flipper in her mouth.
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#9339

yogurtpo3

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Posted Jan 9, 2012 @ 11:10 PM

In my excitement for MaKenzie's return, I've been re-watching all her old episodes, and I must say, as much as her behaviour was pretty appalling in her original Le Maison De Paris episode, I think the one thing that set her apart from all the other "brats" we've seen on the show, is that despite everything, there's never really been a "mean" moment with MaKenzie. Sure, she's stubborn, and hollers, and screams, and does whatever she wants to, but we never saw her hitting anyone (except for Alex's claim of MaKenzie trying to bite her), or saying anything mean about others, or brag about "beating" everyone else.

I'm pretty excited to see how she is now, given she's no longer an only child, is in school (and according to Juana on Mak's twitter account, making the honor role and getting perfect GPAs), and a little older.
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#9340

cheerauthority

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 12:12 AM

Sure, she's stubborn, and hollers, and screams, and does whatever she wants to, but we never saw her hitting anyone (except for Alex's claim of MaKenzie trying to bite her), or saying anything mean about others, or brag about "beating" everyone else.

Nor do I ever recall seeing Juana make snide comments about another child or parent. Do I think MaKenzie needs discipline, oh you betcha. But compared to the Carly/Darly mom or the mother of SamiJoGraceMissAmericaMissUnitedStates (Great name, MomByProxy!), Juana seems ineffective at worst.

Watching the Cute Crap Camp or whatever Mickie is calling it. Whoa. Mickie isn't aging well. She looks older than the last time she was on T & T. Heather Ryan should NEVER comment about anyone's hair or makeup. And nothing is more exciting than a location shoot! The background looks like it was filmed outside of a bail bondsman (no offense to any of them). The dumpster in the back adds an ever so classy touch. And poor Eden. There she is, channeling Alana. Oy.

And does Heather Ryan know anything about pageants? Was she a coach (which I seriously doubt)? I watch Judge Judy... doesn't make me a lawyer.

Edited by cheerauthority, Jan 10, 2012 @ 12:13 AM.

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#9341

Toeps

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 2:56 AM

I just watched a clip on the TLC website, a list of Controversial Parenting or something, but all the parents from previous seasons, éven the Sterling Mom, seem pretty decent compared to the trailer trash we're recently getting. I mean, these parents were nuts indeed, but they did have the capacity to make full sentences and have a clean house.
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#9342

getalife

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 6:39 AM

making the honor role and getting perfect GPAs),


Do you have such a thing for primary school children in the States?

And does Heather Ryan know anything about pageants? Was she a coach (which I seriously doubt)? I watch Judge Judy... doesn't make me a lawyer.


I remember that in one of her TH segments in a previous episode that she said her daughters had been pageant girls. Still, I wouldn't be taking advice from any of them. I particularly like the idea of Mickey giving pageant mom etiquette lessons. Is is possible to learn to be a redneck or is it something one is just born with!
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#9343

MomByProxy

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 8:08 AM

Getalife- Yes, we have Honor Roll for Primary, Makenzie is in 1st grade now, which is when that starts (at least here in Texas, I don't imagine Louisiana to be much different.)

And no, Heather Ryan has ZERO experience in the pageant world other than running fixed pageants for Eden. She has been sued in the past over her "talent agency" as well. She's nothing more than a scam artist and a grifter in my opinion.
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#9344

lanorigb

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:07 AM

Why do parents think it is cute to have smart mouthed kids? I do not care if they are 2 or 22, it is rude and not cute. I read that the personality a child has at 3 is the one they will have at 15

.

So much word to this! I usually agree with most posters on here, but I personally cannot STAND Makenzie and her dumbass mother. I think that child is one of the brattiest little beasts ever to grace television and needs a good slap. Cannot imagine what that little snot will be like at 15. All I do know is she will need significant orthodontia due to her mother's horrendous parenting.
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#9345

Indy1

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:43 AM

I don't know how to quote, but in response to Indy1: no, that dentist won't get a new boat from all the dental work. The parents will just pop a flipper in her mouth.


Excellent point, I stand corrected. Who needs dental work when a flipper will do the trick. It's the perfect fix for Mountain Dew mouth!
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#9346

concernednana

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 11:31 AM

but I personally cannot STAND Makenzie and her dumbass mother. I think that child is one of the brattiest little beasts ever to grace television and needs a good slap


Mackenzie got so much attention for being a brat that she was encouraged to keep it up. She claps for other kids and wants to win anything but it doesn't have to be the top. Her parents, by not making her behave, have created a brat. Same for Olivia. She was the little 3 yr old who screamed at her mom and at other pageant moms. Her mother claimed that since she was 3, it was still cute. Being rude is never cute!!

I think some of these moms copy Mickie Wood. They saw that she had a young child with cookie cutter blue eyes and blond hair and pushed to make money off her. Now Eden is a 6 yrs old chubby smart mouth child. Her mom encourages her to make fun of people and even buys her props.
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#9347

ShelleySue

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 12:40 PM

making the honor role and getting perfect GPAs),


Do you have such a thing for primary school children in the States?

Getalife- Yes, we have Honor Roll for Primary, Makenzie is in 1st grade now, which is when that starts (at least here in Texas, I don't imagine Louisiana to be much different.)


I live in Massachusetts and we don't do that sort of thing until middle school (6th grade here). Maybe it's a Southern thing?

I don't know how to quote, but in response to Indy1: no, that dentist won't get a new boat from all the dental work. The parents will just pop a flipper in her mouth.


Excellent point, I stand corrected. Who needs dental work when a flipper will do the trick. It's the perfect fix for Mountain Dew mouth!


Did I imagine it, or a couple of years ago wasn't a girl featured whose mother was a dentist?
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#9348

StephInMN

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 1:51 PM

I used to live in the south (Alabama, Georgia and Florida) when my kids were little and pageants were a bigger deal down there. I had a cute daughter* and people would approach me on occasion about them. Being a Yankee, I politely declined. Anyway, that's my draw to this show.

It both appalls me and sucks me in, but where do these people get the money? These pageants aren't cheap. "Couponing" is not the answer when dad has no teeth. I'm just so...baffled. It's like going to Africa and studying another culture. I can't look away.

*My daughter is gay. She was fleeing from dresses by the age of three and begrudgingly wore one as a flower girl for my brother's wedding when she was eight. In retrospect, as a sociology major, I often wonder what this would have been like for her if I had, indeed, been a pageant mom.

ETA: I don't know about the mom dentist, but there was a dad doctor and his ex-stripper tattoo-laden wife who had twins by in-vitro with donor eggs. They bought a win and made Danielle cry.

Edited by StephInMN, Jan 10, 2012 @ 2:03 PM.

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#9349

mom42

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 1:55 PM

You're right. That was Jasmine. I forgot about her.
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#9350

Jaynut

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 3:35 PM

Who was the mom that withheld the ADHD medicine from her child before a pageant?


I believe it was Melissa Demyan of Hawaiian punchbowl fame, mother of Lindsey.
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#9351

stinkymcgee

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 4:26 PM

Did I imagine it, or a couple of years ago wasn't a girl featured whose mother was a dentist?

I vaguely remember her - a mom who made her daughter's flipper - but I'm afraid all that I recall is thinking "now THERE'S a way to cut costs!"
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#9352

HelloPatti

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 4:36 PM

A video on "Cute Camp" from Eden, Mickey, and Heather. [After watching this video you may want to poke your eyes out and tear your ears off]

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=fpRSoQzTxcI


Holy S#@T! You shoulda warned me about the Eden pose at the end! Yikes! Do they realize that even Shirley Temple doesn't call herself "little" anymore? Okay, that looked like they filmed it outside of Lizard Lick Towing. I was ready for them to grab the toothless banjo-playing boy off the porch and turn him into a pageant SUPAH STARR! Then Hulk Hogan would come into view and tear his shirt open and demand a Slim Jim (was this video serious? or a parody?)

Regarding the DIY flippers, maybe Alana's mom can buy some packs of Chiclets with coupons and make a few flippers out of them. She can practice on the daddy first.
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#9353

MsMayhem

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 5:42 PM

If your daughter wants to compete in pageantry do NOT take her to that Cute Camp. Good god. Eden looks bored half the time. Who does their graphic designing and video editing? It looks like it was done on Windows Movie Maker and paint by a 10 year old.

Edited because it's been a long day and I put "you're" instead of "your"

Edited by MsMayhem, Jan 10, 2012 @ 5:43 PM.

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#9354

BitTooFairyTale

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 6:41 PM

I finally finished the Heaven/Laci/Alana episode, and I wrote down a few thoughts:

  • Annoying gum-smacking aside, Heaven is an adorable child, and even cuter without the hair and makeup. She's up there with Isabella who wore glasses as a favorite kid.
  • Laci was a cute-looking kid, but a massive brat. That kid needs a serious time-out. The screaming antics and rolling around on the floor and throwing chocolate everywhere were just ridiculous; my 2-year old niece behaves better. I also had a hard time believing her parents really "lost" her...or if they did, why they weren't more concerned about it.
  • So much to say about Alana's family...

  • June looks like she's headed to an early grave. Size-wise she doesn't look *that* much bigger than many of the other moms we've seen, but she was out of breath during their (extremely weird) toilet paper roll fight, looked like she required way too much energy just to heft herself up the stairs onto the stage at that high school, and was grabbing onto the handrail up a small incline ramp. Not good signs for her future.
  • Alana and her sisters look like they're headed the same way as mom
  • I didn't understand the extreme couponing. Particularly the part when they all gather around the table and June announces that they need to save $300 for the pageant. It seems like a weird way to save money, by spending money on a bunch of other crap. Even if they did only spend $.29 as June suggested (which I highly doubt), it's still an extra $.29 they could've put towards pageants. They clearly have a stockpile of stuff at home, so why was a shopping trip necessary at all? Also, to get that many coupons, couponers usually have to buy extra newspapers to get multiples of each coupon, which adds up. It doesn't make any sense to save money by spending it, when you have the resources to just go without a shopping trip for a while.
  • Alana's dad looked like an ugly version of Willie from Swamp People (admit that Willie has a certain amount of attractiveness to him, missing teeth or not)
  • Alana was one homely child, as much as I hate to say it. Even with the hair and makeup, she really was not a cute kid. Her attitude and constant babytalk just added to the homeliness.

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#9355

Bravoheart

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 6:43 PM

Did I imagine it, or a couple of years ago wasn't a girl featured whose mother was a dentist?


Yes, indeed. I can't remember her name, but she was the mom who ran around asking strangers which dress her daughter should wear. (As I recall, they were both hideous). The editors did a great job of showing us that something like 9 out of 10 people chose the less-garish dress, but Dentist Mom went with the other one. I also remember thinking that I'd never want to go to a dentist who seemed so hyper.

And I *think* this was also the episode with Brandi Tudor-Brown and the thank-you-Jesus Mom. Best episode ever!
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#9356

dreamcoat11

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 6:47 PM

Her attitude and constant babytalk just added to the homeliness.


Yes! Did you notice the one moment when she wasn't talking in baby-speak - when she and Heaven were talking about who was going to win. There was one moment where Alana got annoyed and said, "I'm not lying," in a completely normal voice. The rest was obviously put-on.

That being said, as awful as that family seemed, I kind of dug Alana's father, with his, "I'd clip a million coupons for Alana." Aw. I'd rather see that than the father the other week who was telling his daughter that she did a bad job.
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#9357

Jaynut

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 7:38 PM

And I *think* this was also the episode with Brandi Tudor-Brown and the thank-you-Jesus Mom.


It was. That Brandi is something else, isn't she? LOL.

Best episode ever!



Gotta disagree with you. I think the most recent episode (June Cleaver and family) is the purest goldmine of snark. Wishing I didn't delete it from the DVR, but it will be on again.
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#9358

concernednana

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 8:24 PM

Watching a rerun today with 2 yr old Cayley wearing a Little Boy Blue costume. She creid and did not perform. After she left the stage, she told her mom she had to pee. She was really cute.

She got princess but no crown or anything. But her mom did not have her participate anymore after she cried on stage with Little boy Blue. She did not get in trouble and she watched the rest from the audience. I was so proud of her mom for not putting her back on the stage.
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#9359

Kiermar

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:38 PM

Here is an interesting review/essay about Alana and her family from the Globe and Mail, a Canadian newspaper.

Some observations:

This is Alana, a charismatic six-year-old “beauty queen diva,” laughing at her competition on Toddlers & Tiaras.

And while her episode does not air until Wednesday night, the tiny McIntyre, Ga., belle is already an Internet starlet.
Let’s start with the child herself. She vacillates about being a queen. She is alternately wound-up and listless, calling herself both “bored” and “sad” on different occasions.

<snip>

Then again, the secret “go-go juice” that her nightmarish mother concocts for her may explain the highs and lows. We are never told what is in the juice: Alana is made to sip from a green bottle in lieu of the “pageant crack,” or Pixy Stix powder, the other girls use. Mom is unperturbed by the controversial activity of ramping up one’s child for a show. If it “works,” she shrugs, “use it.”

Here and elsewhere, she is a natural comedian and, better, an authentic drag queen, who understands the deeper, darker aspects of imposture; the complexity of actual self-love (Alana’s view of her chubbiness as gorgeous is far healthier than average, and spectacularly showy.)

If you were her mother – imagine you are a plain, working-class woman and a “coupon queen” – wouldn’t you feel blessed by this beautiful, gifted child?


Bolding mine.

To me, the comment that resonated with me was:

She never should have mildly doped her child or directed her to act sexy. She is tacky and loud, but other emotions play across features nearly buried in her sad face: hope, pride, love.

When the mother and daughter speak, it is tenderly; and when Alana says, out of the blue, “I wanna make monnnn-ey! A dolla makes me holla!” her mother bursts out laughing, as so many of us have, watching this little reel.



I think that’s why I felt a little soft-hearted toward June and her husband. They may be toothless trailer trash and rough around the edges. Maybe they never read a parenting article in their lives. But I did sense that they loved that child and was proud of her little last place finish. To me, they were better parents than the better-heeled parents like Carley/Darla’s mom who stormed off in anger when her little 4 year old daughter pulled of her uncomfortable false eyelashes as she was exiting the stage. And I would take 10 Junes to one Jamie Sterling who favored the daughter who looked like her and who won bigger crowns over her sad-faced twin.
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#9360

getalife

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Posted Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:50 PM

Yes, indeed. I can't remember her name, but she was the mom who ran around asking strangers which dress her daughter should wear.


That was Jasmine's mom. Jasmine is another one of Heather Ryan's "stars". She was supposed to be on tour with Eden this summer but we all know what happened there.

I'm from Canada and I must say, I'm surprised to see that article in the Globe and Mail. It is one of the classier newspapers up here; I'm surprised they gave any space to an article about the show. Now, the Toronto Sun is another story! A good read, though. Thanks for posting.

My God, that Cutie Patootie camp thing is so bizarre. I agree with the earlier poster - the dumpster adds the perfect touch!
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