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Toddlers & Tiaras


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#3361

WhineandCheez

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 7:43 AM

Kapu, sorry about your bad day. hope all is well. I admire your dedication to STILL watch the T&T episode live anyway. Hook up the generator boys, my show is on!

I thought some boy contestant took a dive off the stage in this one?

I can't wait to watch, but the level of Krazee you are all talking about makes me fear this was the season finale??
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#3362

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 8:00 AM

I don't think it was the finale, WhineandCheez, but the Krazee was epic. And I mean on a Lord of the Rings, Orcs blow up the walls of Helm's Deep epic. When I saw Brandi receive her mini-supreme award, I thought I might actually die of laughter. No spoilers since you haven't watched, but let's just say Brandi towered over her competition.
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#3363

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 8:21 AM

Someone please let Lauren's mom and Brandi-cindylouwho-Brown that Jesus, God, Allah, and Buddha COMBINED don't care about kiddie pageants.



Oh totally. OTOH, they were praying to Jesus for the strength to go onstage - a lot less tacky than Paris and Sterling's mom (another episode a while back) who prayed that THEY WOULD WIN.

Lauren's mom's hair - WTF. And team Lauren in the situation room voting on how to proceed was amusing.

Some episodes have awkward tanning moments, we had awkward flipper moments here.

Every episode has a crazy, but we had 3 (4 if you count Brandi). There was no control group in this episode!

Ya know those grown women you see around town who dress in crazy prints with way too much jewelry, etc? I'm starting to see where they come from. I have a feeling these little girls will never know the joy of looking elegant in a simple black suit with just a pair of the right earrings. There is such a thing as looking like you tried too hard. OTOH I have heard that in the south, the bigger sin is to look like you did not try hard enough.
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#3364

mrstulip

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 8:36 AM

I think I was most eeeked out when Spa Barbie...er, I mean Brandi, was massaging Lauren's "little décolleté". Ewwwwww?
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#3365

Pepper Mostly

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 9:04 AM

So many WTF moments, so little time!

Brandi, was massaging Lauren's "little décolleté". Ewwwwww?


That was absolutely repellent, in a show chock full of repellent-ness. And yes, what 7 year old needs a facial? All that manipulation of these little girls skin is going to backfire big time. They'll probably erupt in horrific acne in their teen years because their skin is routinely clogged up with all that product.

Brandi, honey. No one (except for Lauren and her mom) were cheering for you when you were standing up there with a 3 yr old and a 7 yr old. They were laughing at you


And no one on earth is going to persuade me that Brandi doesn't have a drug problem. I bet she gobbles Xanax like candy. She had that glazed look. And Brandi's mother, "we don't drink, we don't smoke, but we love our pills!" Holy freakin moly. A festival of dysfunction.

Taleah's mother had a dead behind the eyes, checked out look that I found faintly alarming. I feel bad for the older sister, who is apparently not the favored child. She seemed to love her little sister and enjoy their time together, but her mother can barely be bothered. Taleah's mother drew most of my ire this time around. She saw her kids as potential meal tickets, just like Cruz's parents did. Sickening. Boone was kind of a jerk, but I think harmless in the end. Lauren's mother was crazy as a loon. Jasmine's mother, while also crazy, at least has a well paying profession of her own and isn't giggling about spending her husband's money behind his back, so good for her, I guess.
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#3366

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 9:26 AM

I'm thinking there's some Ritalin in that there goody bag Brandi's mom is toting around.
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#3367

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 9:31 AM

My mouth is hanging open - in an ep full of nutso-ness, the biggest skeeve of all was that little boy saying his favorite person was his "daddy in heaven." I hadn't thought about the interpretation that he might be referring to God, but I honestly don't think that was it - I think he really does have a dead daddy. Did the mom decide to include that in his bio to earn sympathy??? Because that is just.... yuck. I don't have words. Is this what Danny Gokey has brought us to? Forget appropriate grief and mourning and respecting your loved ones who have passed - it's all fodder to make me more famous??? To win cash prizes??? I'm so sickened by this (never mind all the other whack-a-doodle on this ep; seriously - this was one for the books).
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#3368

needschocolate

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 9:49 AM

The talk of medicating opens a new can of worms. Who knew there was such a thing as pageant doping?

I guess the cans of Red Bull a few weeks ago were foreshadowing.

I was in hysterics at the editing for that segment. The running tally for "solid blue appropriate pageant dress" vs. "pink and zebra monstrosity" while mom tore around the motel shrieking at anyone she encountered to give their opinion... which of course she dismissed, because she loved the tacky dress. Priceless! As was, of course, the bit with the director giving mom the cold shoulder and walking away -- but not before taking a shot at her with "here's some random dude who's not connected to the pageant lurking out in the hallway, why don't you ask HIM?"

I found this funnier than the boy stepping backwards off the stage.

Did I hear correctly? Did Jasmine's mom call her daughter the devil and threaten to spank her for not wanting to try on the flipper? I think that was the first time I heard threats of spanking on this show (which actually surprises me a bit).

And Taleah's mom - it really says something that she is more clueless than crazy loon Boone. I feel sorry for the older daughter - whose goal in life is supposed to be to work for her sister. Kid seemed fairly well adjusted, hope she stays that way.

Lauren's mom and Brandi - way over the top. I almost wish these people would have some real tragedy so that they can get some perspective on what is really important. Heck, having a toilet overflow might even help - or maybe it would send the mom into a 3 day crying and praying fit. But at least they were supportive and loving - in their odd way.

Still, I have a problem with anyone who jokes about medicating people.
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#3369

Pepper Mostly

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 9:53 AM

I found this funnier than the boy stepping backwards off the stage.


That poor little guy! He looked so downcast afterwards. I would have liked it better if Brandi fell off the stage.
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#3370

needschocolate

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 9:54 AM

My mouth is hanging open - in an ep full of nutso-ness, the biggest skeeve of all was that little boy saying his favorite person was his "daddy in heaven." I hadn't thought about the interpretation that he might be referring to God, but I honestly don't think that was it - I think he really does have a dead daddy.

Maybe his dad is just working in Heavener, OK.
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#3371

RuthlessBunny

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 10:03 AM

I found Brandi to be incredibly disturbing. It also speaks volumes about how screwed up these pageants are that they'd let a grown woman compete with children. " Shit, you got money, you're in honey!"

I loved how one of the kids said, "Yay! I won fifty-dollars!" Woo-hoo, doesn't even cover the gas to get there, let alone all the other ridiculous expenses associated with this.

Talleah's sister, 'Shit-on-a-Stick', is probably the lucky one. I suspect that she's in the dog house because she revolted and refused to compete in this dog and pony show.

Talleah's father is some kind of sociopath, what an odd couple he and her mother make. Wonder if he's only Talleah's daddy, and that the other kids have a differen daddy (or daddies).

As for the kid who's favorite person is 'his daddy in heaven'. I'm baffled, is that God or his dead father, sparked quite a bit of debate in our house.

My husband is from Kentucky and everytime one of these idiots shows up from some remote region of the state he just dies a bit inside from the shame of it all.
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#3372

amphora

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 10:23 AM

I have a feeling this will go down as the most insane episode of T&T ever. EVER.

Brandi. BRANDI. My sister and I were absolutely horrified by her the entire time. We frequently paused the DVR to stare gobsmacked at each other. It went from overly made-up woman cashing in on her experience to CREEP ME THE FUCK OUT within a commercial break. When I realized she was actually competing in the pageant against, like, 11 year olds, you could have served a whole IHOP breakfast on my eyeballs they were so beyond saucer size. The conversation with her mother?! Jesus. What the hell is wrong with these people? She doubled her Prozac today? Her mom may have spiked her food? Be a trophy wife! Was she wearing a fur coat when she came into Lauren's house that first time? Is she really married? Is Lauren's mom actually paying her? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Brandi had the mannerisms of a woman who is not quite recovered from a full mental break with reality and yet everyone seemed to treat her as a functional adult.

Jasmine's mom. The dentist. Who has spent literally hundreds of thousands of dollars on pageants. UNREAL. She needed to borrow some prozac from Brandi. She really seemed to be afflicted with overwhelming anxiety and depression. I wanted to give her the number of a good therapist to help her out, maybe some books. She kept bursting into tears about how much the pageants meant to her. What is she going to do when Jazzie doesn't want to do them or gets too old? I got the vibe that she was the kind of woman who did not want her daugheter to grow up, but knew it was coming.

Taleah's parents were just dumb. I mean, really, really stupid people. I couldn't understand a word that came out of the dad's mouth other then "you suck" which while it did seem to be code for "i love you", how sure are we that the 3 year old gets that? Is "good effort, sweetie" really that hard to say? I thought Taleah was a great little dancer to be honest. I have a three year old who loves to dance and is not nearly that coordinated, but even if she were I wouldn't immediately think "how can I turn this into money?" Those kids might have some talent afterall, for their ages, but the odds of that turning into well-paying careers in twenty years is so astronomical to seriously discuss it as a concrete possiblity is lunacy. The focus on fame is such a disservice to those children I wanted to smack the mom.
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#3373

camom

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 11:00 AM

I had the feeling that Taleah and her brother were Boone's kids, but the older sister was maybe mom's by a former marriage/relationship. Not sure why. Maybe it was the apparent age difference, plus older sister's seeming second class status. Most of the time the mom looked like she couldn't stand the dad.

If I was one of Jasmine's mom's patients, I think I'd be looking for a new dentist today.

Brandi is one of those people that you couldn't write in fiction because it wouldn't be believable enough. Harry Potter? Yeah. Vampires? Yeah. Brandi? No way.
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#3374

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 11:45 AM

Brandi was a gold mine for this show. You can paste the head of any of the little girls the show features onto her neck and zip immediately 20 years into the future with them. All the Praise Jesus-ing of that bunch was a true pleasure for me to watch - living as I do, surrounded by families like this. Ultimately not bad people, just freaking hilarious to watch.

And I'm sorry, but my heart broke for that boy who fell off the stage. I wish I hadn't seen his little dejected expression afterwards. I wanted to give that kid a hug so badly. If anyone needed a Jesus circle throughout that trainwreck of a pageant, it was that kid.

Edited because spelling counts.

Edited by twitches, Jun 24, 2010 @ 11:46 AM.

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#3375

Bravoheart

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 11:49 AM

I totally agree about looking for another dentist! I want my dentist to be knowledgeable and confident, not to freak out if something goes slightly amiss!

I was actually totally stunned when she said she was a dentist.

The pink-monstrosity vs. blue-dress editing was probably my favorite part of the show. Another moment that made me laugh was when the mother (now I can't remember which mother it was) was asking her daughter "Remember when you won this trophy?" "Nope." "Remember when you won this crown?" "Nope." Etc, etc.

Was Lauren's mother channeling Kate Gosselin with that hair?
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#3376

needschocolate

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 11:58 AM

If everything Brandi said was spoken by Ellen Degeneres or Kathy Griffin, it would have been very funny. But Brandi showed no signs of a sense of humor, so I have to believe that she was serious about the pills and being a trophy wife. Scary.

The pink-monstrosity vs. blue-dress editing was probably my favorite part of the show. Another moment that made me laugh was when the mother (now I can't remember which mother it was) was asking her daughter "Remember when you won this trophy?" "Nope." "Remember when you won this crown?" "Nope." Etc, etc.

Was that the same mom who said "which one isw your favorite?" and the kid points to one, then mom says "are you sure?" while she tries to hint with her eyes that it should be another crown. I think at the end the mom gives up and says which one is her favorite. Talk about controlling - the little diva doesn't even get to pick her own favorite.

Edited by needschocolate, Jun 24, 2010 @ 11:59 AM.

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#3377

camom

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 12:02 PM

When they showed the little boy after he fell off the stage, I felt so bad for him. His expression made me think that he was worried about getting in BIG trouble for not being perfect and ruining his chances of getting a sash and crown.
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#3378

Reality Chaser

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 12:06 PM

She needed to borrow some prozac from Brandi. She really seemed to be afflicted with overwhelming anxiety and depression.


Prozac is the last thing Lauren's mother needs, as it will make her more anxious. The terrible thing about the remark about doubling up on Prozac that morning is that it's maintenance drug that works on blood levels rather a rescue drug, so taking a double dose on a particular day is not going to benefit that day.
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#3379

amphora

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 12:23 PM

Reality Chaser, you are spot on. Let's break it down:

Brandi needs a serious psychological intervention that will include examining why she feels the need to compete with children for attention

Lauren's mom needs a new hairdresser

Jasmine's mom needs some licensed help and very likely some meds. Personal finance coaching to boot- $100,000 at even dismal interest rates until that girl is 25 could buy her a house vs. a closet full of dress she can't wear anymore

Taleah's parents need to be beat about the head with an education
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#3380

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 1:04 PM

My God. Where to start. I only watched the last 30 minutes of this train wreck, and sat there with my mouth open. Brandi? Really? WTF is wrong with her? Kiddie pageants at 31? The mind boggles.

What is she going to do when Jazzie doesn't want to do them or gets too old?


As Brandi demonstrated, you're never too old.

Taleah's parents were just dumb. I mean, really, really stupid people.


THIS! Talk about barely functional...good grief. And Boone? You suck. What a fucking jackass and a sorry excuse for a human being you are. What kind of a 'father' talks to their kid like that? I was dumbstruck when I heard him say that the first time. I thought I must have misunderstood what he said. But no. There it was in the captioning.

Was Lauren's mother channeling Kate Gosselin with that hair?


I know, right? KG was the first thing I thought of when I saw that skunk streaked mess. Although to be fair, this was one of the few episodes I've seen where the mothers weren't morbidly obese, so that ought to count for something. And Lauren's mother can shove the theatrical screaming and crying and praising Jesus. This is a kiddie pageant, not a revival meeting.
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#3381

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 1:37 PM

If I was one of Jasmine's mom's patients, I think I'd be looking for a new dentist today.


Truly. Can you imagine this loon heading toward your mouth with a drill? Bzzzzzzzz! Hell, I'd split based on the zebra dress alone.

Joel McHale's going to have a field day with Brandi on The Soup this week.

Edited by essinad, Jun 24, 2010 @ 1:40 PM.

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#3382

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 1:47 PM

That woman[can't remember the name], was basically dealing drugs! It's illegal to give out prescription drugs! Also, an earlier poster was correct, Prozac works by balancing chemicals in the brain. It is not a sedative or anxiety drug. Doubling your dose is dangerous. These people in this episode were beyond belief. Brandi needs serious counseling. MINI SUPREME?!!
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#3383

Tommysgrl

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 2:01 PM

And I'm sorry, but my heart broke for that boy who fell off the stage. I wish I hadn't seen his little dejected expression afterwards. I wanted to give that kid a hug so badly. If anyone needed a Jesus circle throughout that trainwreck of a pageant, it was that kid.


Don't be sorry!! I had tears in my eyes watching that little fellow afterwards...the heartlessness of some amazes me :(
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#3384

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 2:15 PM

Don't be sorry!! I had tears in my eyes watching that little fellow afterwards...the heartlessness of some amazes me :(

I was one who laughed during the promos last week, but totally changed my tune when I saw the clip in context. Poor kid... I'm glad he wasn't physically hurt by the fall.
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#3385

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 2:49 PM

Brandi may have won Mini Supreme, but there's nothing mini about her. She reminds me of middle aged men who still live through their high school football days--they never move on.
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#3386

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 3:02 PM

*snicker*

Next week's episode looks like a classic as well - perhaps not the trainwreck of this week, but both T&T and LMP do a good job with the question "can a cute little girl succeed in the pageant circuit without shelling out an assload of money?" I'm intrigued by the idea of a $10 pageant dress.
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#3387

luvtv

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 3:03 PM

Brandi has very right to compete in pageants that has age groups from CHILD to ADULT! So she is NOT "competing with children"!


She won Mini Supreme in the '10 and up' age category, so she was directly competing with 10 and 11 year old girls.

Edited by luvtv, Jun 24, 2010 @ 3:04 PM.

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#3388

amphora

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 3:04 PM

Brandi has very right to compete in pageants that has age groups from CHILD to ADULT! So she is NOT "competing with children"!


I won't tread on her rights to compete if the age range didn't have a top limit; her "10 & Over" catagory she went in under I suppose means she was technically eligible. I will however mock her mercilessly for doing it. Her competition were children, were they not? I didn't see a single other adult competing. Not even a teenager. Brandi won mini supreme and the girl (not woman) who won supreme and beat her was what? 11? Possibly a young 12? It's hilariously troubling. Maybe they were the only two in the 10 + catagory... that would make me feel better about Brandi taking one of the titles.
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#3389

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 3:23 PM

I don't question Brandi's right to compete in the pageant, just her desire to do so. It was far too close to the Kathy Griffin episode a few nights ago where Kathy competed with little girls as a joke. Why doesn't Brandi compete in a Mrs. pageant? I'll add that if a grown man tried to compete in the little boys' category we'd be accusing him of trying to get close to little boys for unscrupulous purposes.

Edited by Reality Chaser, Jun 24, 2010 @ 3:24 PM.

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#3390

SleepyJean

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 @ 4:08 PM

Wow, it's even worse than I remembered!

I wish they had a side-by-side with the blue dress.

ETA: this article about Jasmine
Some of the reader comments are priceless.

Edited by SleepyJean, Jun 24, 2010 @ 4:13 PM.

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