95 replies to this topic

[Bourdainiac]

OMG, the crab cakes did not suck, but then her trifling ass made tartar sauce that was....already made? Tartar sauce is not difficult to make.

[lmanasco]

It irritates me when she says "remoulade sauce." That's redundant. According to Webster.com, the definition of remoulade is:
"A sauce or dressing resembling mayonnaise and usually including savory herbs and condiments"

It's like when people call it an "ATM machine."

Edited by lmanasco, Jul 19, 2008 @ 9:18 AM.

[Bourdainiac]

Well, Sandy is kinda redundant herself, isn't she?

She actually used corn muffin mix instead of cornmeal? Or did she get them mixed up?

The boobies are not hanging - maybe she reads TWOP?

[ubiquitous]

What, no comments on the EXTREME and LINGERING closeup of her deep-throating that spoon of stuff, followed by her warning us to never eat something like corn dogs on a first date because it could be embarrassing?

Oh, how I laughed and laughed and laughed!

[Bourdainiac]

ubi, she deep throats just about everything LOL, I guess I didn't notice. Plus, I was obsessing on what was holding her girls up.

[New England Jen]

Not impressed at all.

"Use low sodium beef broth because you can always add salt but you can't take away..."
Defeats the purpose of LOW SODIUM, doesn't it?

That LOVE sign she had over her sink/below her kitchen window reminded me of something that would be in a pre teen's bedroom along with pictures of her bff's and whoever the latest hottie in Hollywood is at the moment.

She definitely looked haggard in this epi. She had borderline porn star eyes but her face definitely looks like it's a delicate combination of hard living and alcoholism.

[cal331]

What, no comments on the EXTREME and LINGERING closeup of her deep-throating that spoon of stuff, followed by her warning us to never eat something like corn dogs on a first date because it could be embarrassing?

Oh, how I laughed and laughed and laughed!

Oh, I am ready to comment on that. I laughed too! She looked extra-drunk today, rolling and crossing her eyes right before they zoomed in on her gagging down those crab cakes. The camera operator and the editor seem to have colluded on this particular 'glamor shot.' Hysterical. This whole episode looked like something you might see on a public-access channel. Really low rent.

I think this may be the worst dessert ever. Crumbled cookies (the type of cookie never mentioned,) topped by supersweet, texture-free pie filling, topped by ice cream and caramel sauce? Just awful. I can't imagine anything worse; even school cafeterias routinely bring better desserts to the lunchroom. I llllllliteralllllly threw up in my mouth while watching. (And I am using literally in the actual literal sense.)

[clewal]

What was with all the "WOO"s?

[mushypeas]

I love me some greens, and I thought the most craptastic arrussippee today went to the greens. That was classic Semi-Ho. Instead of cooking the greens in a little bacon fat, dimwit cooks them in canned beef broth and adds packaged bacon bits. Then adds a can of drained pinto beans. Yuck.

That LOVE sign she had over her sink/below her kitchen window reminded me of something that would be in a pre teen's bedroom

Perfect for our emotionally stunted Sandra, who seems to have stopped her emotional development somewhere between 11 and 13.

[Beccadawg]

I was sooo hoping she was going to try to take a bite of that catfish sandwich.

Again with the just put whatever you have in the sauce - it will be perfect!

Yes, clewal, lots of WHOOTS today. WHOOT!

I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention but didn't she say to cook the greens for 45 minutes? The FN recipe says 15.

Something looked familiar - maybe it was the window treatment or the outfit? God forbid we should use something more than once.

[Tackhead]

What, no comments on the EXTREME and LINGERING closeup of her deep-throating that spoon of stuff

I think I was so distracted by her clown makeup and haggard face that I hardly noticed the gaping maw. Then I was looking forward to seeing her unhinge her jaw to eat that giant catfish sandwich but got disappointed.

She was so proud of that push-up bra that she llllleaned forward at every opportunity to show us what it was doing.

I had to laugh at the Queen of Excess Sodium piously advising the use of low-sodium broth.

[Bourdainiac]

The parfait was majorly trifling. Can't she use filling that doesn't come in a can? And I think she had extensions in her hair.

[New England Jen]

"Just put whatever YOU have in the sauce..."

I have a half a cup of cold coffee and some baked beans. Can I put that in the sauce? And how about some cat litter? For that extra burst of fllllllavor?

[luvmymeena]

corn MUFFIN mix? That's **some** sweet catfish!

CANNED strawburry pie filling?? I have *never* in my *life* seen that IN my reg'lur groshry store... but, I've never looked for it either.

Do you think Snads actually shops at a grosserie (putting a little Frunch twist on things) given the toxic waste she "cooks"?

Bonus Question:

What do apples and LLLLLLLLove have to do with fryday?

[Beccadawg]

What do apples and LLLLLLLLove have to do with fryday?

Well, she has to have a fruity drink, just because, and she llllllloves to imbibe any day, including fryday.

[SeasoningPacket]

No mention of either gra'ma but we did get a Kimber loves ACV reminder.

Seemed like she was trying to compete with Paula on tasting the crab cake. Girlfren it aint working for you.

Was she not allowed to say saltine?

[lyz2814]

"Just like what you don't eat on a first date....a taco...my favorite food"

WHAT?

She was wooting over the catfish sandwich and how she wanted to eat it, but not in front of us. And then there was this fugue (see above).

[MichelleAK]

When I first saw that cocktail in the preview, I thought she had hung a radish slice off the rim. A serious WTF moment until she said it was an apple-tini.

The big "LOVE" in the window is priceless.

The can of "seafood seasoning" will last her a lifetime? I always thought you should rotate out seasonings since they will lose their strength over time. By the time she finishes with that can, it will have all the flavor of ground cardboard.

She's making tartar sauce--with tartar sauce. Idiot. "Whatever seasoning you got in the pantry will be great." Really? How about cinnamon and pumpkin pie spice for that holiday feel?

Whoah, didn't need that close up of her "enjoying" the crab cake.

The greens and beans look vomitous.

"Into the hot canola oil they go, to send them on their sweet little way." Well, yeah, with using corn muffin mix instead of just corn meal, they probably are a bit sweet.

Nice "caper" voiceover. Didn't sound at all like her normal voice.

Unless you are a python, how are you supposed to eat that "WHOO!" catfish sandwich? I notice she didn't give it a try.

Ugh, canned strawberry filling. I just threw up in my mouth a little. Usually I never skip dessert, but in this case, I'd be willing to make the sacrifice. That looks horrible, and what a mess to eat. It was already running down the outside of the glass.

What's the tie-in with apples and fried stuff? She's just randomly putting tablescapes together now, isn't she?

[jcbrown]

Another fugue: "Everyone in my house loves fried food and that is why these greens are PERfect"

...uh... because they're not fried?

[Bourdainiac]

Another fugue: "Everyone in my house loves fried food and that is why these greens are PERfect"

...uh... because they're not fried?

Her ability to be totally asinine is supernaturally amazing.

And how in the hell can her cocktail be a "tini" with rum in it? IDIOT FUNGUS.

Edited by Bourdainiac, Jul 19, 2008 @ 1:08 PM.

[ubiquitous]

ubi, she deep throats just about everything LOL, I guess I didn't notice.

True, but I don't think I ever saw the cameraman do an "Extreme close up!!" zoom-in when she did it, and really, how long has it been ?

Apparently I wasn't paying attention at the time,but what the hell was in those greens? I caught the ninnyhammer babbling some flapdoodle about using canned instead of fresh because she was going to cook it for 45 minutes.

And just what do apples have to do with fried foods, besides having recently bought some neat new place mats with apples on them she wanted to show off to us.

Edited by ubiquitous, Jul 19, 2008 @ 4:21 PM.

[Scrambled Eggs]

I love the fresh strawberry garnish with the canned strawberry dessert. I have never seen strawberry pie filling, nor do I ever want to look for it.

ubi, she put in canned pinto beans. But I swear that she referred to canned collard greens a couple times. Was I hearing wrong?

[SassandtheCity]

I swear she said something about not using fresh collard greens for the recipe or some other hot mess. I was so still probably still in shock from the rest of this schlock.

[Bourdainiac]

Apparently I wasn't paying attention at the time,but what the hell was in those greens? I caught the ninnyhammer babbling about flapdoodle about using canned instead of fresh because she was going to cook it for 45 minutes.

I wanted to throttle her when I saw her rip the greens off the stems with her hands. Someone tell this cow to watch Paula Deen and Pat Neely strip greens. And this was the first time I've ever seen anyone put canned beans in collards - WTF? Food rape, food rape.

[linnee]

One capful of lemon juice was 1 teaspoon for the crab cakes and 1 tablespoon for the remoulade. I guess that's another example of "whatever you like."

[MichelleAK]

ubi, she put in canned pinto beans. But I swear that she referred to canned collard greens a couple times. Was I hearing wrong?

No, I heard the same thing and thought I was losing it, because I could have sworn I saw her ripping up some fresh greens. Glad to know Snads is the drunken moron, and not me.

[ubiquitous]

She's making tartar sauce--with tartar sauce. Idiot.

Did that moron say that she always carries tartar sauce with her wherever she goes and then adds stuff to it to make it better?

[LlamaSpank]

Because nothing says "yummy" like tartar sauce that lives in your purse.

*gag*

[bitbit]

When she refered to the canned greens, she was saying that if you wanted it to cook faster you would want to use canned greens. Then she said the fresh took about 45 minutes to cook but fresh was always better. I had to rewind several times to make sure I heard right. Never thought I would hear her endorse fresh over canned.

[MissFancy]

Do you think she whips out the jarred tartar sauce when she and Andy have dinner at Per Se?