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The Real Housewives of Atlanta


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#16396588

TWoP Howard

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Posted Mar 18, 2014 @ 2:49 PM

Please don't discuss NeNe's appearance on Dancing with the Stars here. It didn't happen on this show, so it's off-topic here. Dancing with the Stars has its own forum, so you can discuss her there. The DWTS forums are here, and NeNe has her own thread here. Thanks!


Edited by TWoP Howard, Mar 24, 2014 @ 2:34 AM.


#32281

drivethroo

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Posted Today, 03:08 AM

I don't think anyone here is condoning violence. Where school shooters/high school bullies comparisons is coming from is this:

People in authority positions see people in ever escalating negative personal interactions that is affecting the group & either ignore the situation or decline to get involved;

The target of the negative interpersonal interaction is advised to be mature, walk away, ignore the provocateur, etc;

Nothing is done/said to the provocateur i.e. they're not told to stop;

The target blows their stack & goes after the provocateur;

The people in authority positions pretend they don't know what's going on, why the target did what they did, they are SHOCKED! Shocked, I say, etc.

I personally take offense at Andy & Co. pretending they are SHOCKED! And DISMAYED! at all this violence when they actively encurage & reward certain people for committing violence. If violence is gross & icky, then Nene should've been fired choking Kim, Sheree should've been fired for tugging on Kim's wig, Kenya should've been fired for tugging on Nene's ear and Apollo, Peter, Mallorie & Mama Joyce should not have been allowed to film anymore after Pillow Talk (Mama Joyce after trying to fight Carmen). Everyone involved in the RHONJ melted should've been fired; yet Andy didn't feel gross about that.

THATS where "school shooter" is coming from. You can't pretend you are shocked & grossed out by violence when you actively encourage & reward cast members for getting violent. No, Porsha shouldn't have put her hands on Kenya but Andy can have several seats with his protestations of being grossed out. He is only grossed out at the thought of NBC/BRAVO coming down on HIM & negative blowback.

Edited by drivethroo, Today, 03:21 AM.

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#32282

AgingGoth

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Posted Today, 05:23 AM

I say it is exactly like bullying.  Yes, Porsha is a 32 year old woman who should not allow a bully to provoke her into a fight.  But as I mentioned before, she was just coming off an extremely emotional and nasty divorce and still feeling the raw pain and depression from it.  To have someone then loudly question your part in the marriage, constantly taunt you about your sexual attractiveness and the lack thereof in your marriage while using a stick and a bullhorn, yelling at you like you are a little kid, you just might snap.

 

People go off on far less.  We have spent so much time laughing at how stupid Porsha is that we forgot what pain she must be feeling from her failed marriage.  To her this was all she had and Kenya, an unmarried, bitter, nasty and vindictive individual, is making fun of and taunting her.  That is never OK and that is bullying.


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#32283

33Diva

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Posted Today, 05:53 AM

 

 

I don't think anyone here is condoning violence. 

 

But they are. When you say I don't condone violence, but I'm glad Porsha stood up, Kenya pushed her too far, whatever other excuse, you are condoning violence. 

 

I saw someone upthread say sometimes violence is needed. Obviously. If you are being threatened physically, you fight back. This wasn't one of those cases. 

 

I get that people don't like Kenya and some people seem to hate Kenya like she's done something to them personally. However, that doesn't condone Porsha's actions. You don't have to feel sorry for Kenya to agree that Porsha shouldn't have attacked her. You aren't condoning Kenya's foolishness if you say you don't condone Porsha attacking her. Kenya didn't deserve to be physically attacked for throwing out words, it's the same thing they all do. If Porsha had sat there and said over and over that Kenya isn't married, she won't ever have a baby, whatever else, Kenya wouldn't have the right to physically attack her. 

 

I guess I am just really frustrated with people saying I don't condone violence but it's ok in this situation, however you twist the words to make yourself feel better. This isn't abolishing slavery, this is silly women on a reality show who have chosen to put their lives out on the screen and fight amongst each other for money and fame. There is no excuse for one of them to attack the other physically for doing what is essentially their job.

 

I do agree with the sentiment that the people in power should have seen this coming, or at the very least not clutch their pearls when it happens.  TPTB seem to think that all people want to see is fighting fighting and more fighting. And I don't doubt for a second that they are all told to up the drama by producers. They barely even show them at home now (unless it's product placement or they are talking about the latest blowup) I don't like the props. I think the megaphone might have been funny as a one time thing, with her saying I won't allow you to talk over me. Then it should have been taken away.

 

The bully thing is never going to fly with me because Kenya isn't doing anything that they all haven't done to each other. She is doing her job. If she's a bully, then so are the rest of them. So they are a bunch of bullies bullying each other?  No, again, they are a bunch of women who get paid to be awful to each other on camera.  The word bully is thrown out too freely whenever someone acts like an ass. 


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#32284

Bossa Nova

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Posted Today, 06:56 AM

This as been mentioned a couple of times upthread ....Kenya pulled on NeNe's ear.

 

When did this happen?


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#32285

AgingGoth

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Posted Today, 07:02 AM

Bullying is not just beating someone up or threatening physical harm, it is the attempt to embarrass someone in public, ridicule them in public, cyber bullying, constant taunting, belittling.

 

Yes, what Kenya was doing is indeed bullying.  Yes, Porsha could've handled it differently.  However, no one can predict how someone is going to react to being bullied.

 

Yes, Porsha said some bad things to Kenya but it was mainly her reaction to Kenya saying some rather horrible things to Porsha.  When Kenya told Porsha her desire to be a mother, Porsha forgot all about their feud and comforted her.  Kenya on the other hand continued to berate and taunt Porsha on her failed marriage.

 

Kenya gets no sympathy from me.


This as been mentioned a couple of times upthread ....Kenya pulled on NeNe's ear.

it happened at the Bailey Opening when both Nene and Phaedra were making a point to avoid Kenya because they didn't want to deal with her drama.  However, Kenya caught up with Nene when she was being shown Cynthia's office by Uncle Ben.  When Kenya cornered Nene to confront her for inviting Walter to the wedding that kenya didn't even attend, she pulled on Nene's ear to force Nene to listen to her when Nene wanted to end the conversation.  Nene walked away and Kenya tried to run and grab Nene to pull her back.  When Greg told Kenya to back off, Kenya called Nene a bitch.


Edited by AgingGoth, Today, 07:07 AM.

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#32286

Mozelle

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Posted Today, 07:09 AM

I guess I am just really frustrated with people saying I don't condone violence but it's ok in this situation, however you twist the words to make yourself feel better. This isn't abolishing slavery, this is silly women on a reality show who have chosen to put their lives out on the screen and fight amongst each other for money and fame. There is no excuse for one of them to attack the other physically for doing what is essentially their job.

This all day (this all day to your entire post, 33Diva, but I'm only quoting this part). To bring over a phrase from the RHoNYC, it's apples to spaceships to even compare these women getting paid six figures to film with each other for half the year, and as such getting into conflicts with one another, to fighting to abolish slavery or stopping Hitler. Say what?! Where they do that at?!

Porsha was all up in it and giggling when she was insinuating that Kordell was gay. She filmed that scene with Kandi after she was kicked out of the house saying that one of the anal plugs or whatever it was was missing. She chuckled when Kandi gave her that "Oooohhhhh, girl, no!" look during that exchange. Porsha sat up there and routinely implied that she sensed something must be wrong with Kordell because he didn't want to touch her. She laughed when Nene made implications about Kordell's sexuality. Clearly this was something ongoing among the group as even Peter went and stuck his nose in it. He even side eyed her explanation about how she sat down with Kordell and talked with him about how she knew what was going around about him, and told Kordell that she would help him erase all that.

So, up until Kenya called a thing a thing, Porsha seemed to be OK with everyone giggling along with her and insinuating what she was insinuating. Kenya flat out calling it "bearding," though, is Porsha's line? Porsha has no leg to stand on. She wasn't bullied. She had shit talked about her just like she talked mad shit about Kenya and Kordell.

Edited by Mozelle, Today, 07:13 AM.

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#32287

AgingGoth

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Posted Today, 07:27 AM

How many times does Kenya get a pass.

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that Nene took offense to Kenya's over the top confrontation at the Bailey Opening

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she overreacted to Chris trying to keep her from going after his wife

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she tried to embarrass Nene at the alleged charity ball

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she egged on the messy discussion about Kandi's 20 year old relationship with Chuck

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she tried to cause friction between Nene and Kandi down in Savannah

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she agressively went after Apollo in Mexico knowing what it would do to Phaedra

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she has alienated almost everyone of the other cast members to the point that she cannot seem to film with anyone but a paid assistant of another attention whore

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she was angered and over reacted to the fact that Porsha was hurt and crying about her failed marriage, taking the attention away from Kenya who in a huff, nearly got herself run over by a car

 

It wasn't Kenya's fault that she goaded Marlo into a confrontation with Nene twice when it was very clear Nene did not want to be approached.

 

It now isn't Kenya's fault that her sex toys, septer, and bullhorn and their use of them to taunt, harrass and overtalk her alleged enemies would end up with her being physically attacked.

 

It is never Kenya's fault


Porsha was all up in it and giggling when she was insinuating that Kordell was gay. She filmed that scene with Kandi after she was kicked out of the house saying that one of the anal plugs or whatever it was was missing. She chuckled when Kandi gave her that "Oooohhhhh, girl, no!" look during that exchange. Porsha sat up there and routinely implied that she sensed something must be wrong with Kordell because he didn't want to touch her. She laughed when Nene made implications about Kordell's sexuality.

Porsha was never giggling with she spoke about Kordell.  She never said he was gay.  She said he didn't seem to want HER.  The conversation with Kandi was her first time really breaking down and crying and Kandi using humor to pull her out of it. As far as the convo with Nene, it was the same thing with them trying to cheer her up.  She was in the middle of a divorce she was blindsided by and he treated her like the help.


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#32288

Mozelle

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Posted Today, 07:29 AM

Yeah, I don't think anyone is saying that Kenya isn't blameless. She's been called an instigator, so that isn't brand new. Saying that it's farfetched to compare Porsha's display to fighting in WWII Europe or fighting against American slavery is not saying that Kenya isn't at fault. Pointing out that Porsha was perfectly fine with insinuations about Kordell's sexuality doesn't mean that Kenya doesn't instigate. It's simply saying that Porsha wasn't fighting for any grand cause. Homegirl participated in the "Kordell is gay" game and got mad that someone she doesn't like ran with it.

That, for me, is acknowledging exactly the role that Porsha played in this debacle. Which is what I'm not seeing. Listing all of Kenya's instigating doesn't absolve Porsha of her own hand in the matter. She kept at the "Kordell is/may be gay" insinuations. No matter how it's sliced and diced, Kenya didn't put those words in Porsha's mouth. Porsha should take responsibility for that, instead of being high fived like she had no choice in this matter.

Edited by Mozelle, Today, 07:40 AM.

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#32289

AgingGoth

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Posted Today, 07:37 AM

Porsha' grand cause was her own mental health. No one is saying she was fighting for all women of divorce or any grand cause.  She was hurt, and she was being kicked while she was down.

 

My problem with Kenya is she wants it both ways.  She wants respect and concern for her pain but she also want to be OK with salting the wounds of others around her.  She has no problem "hitting below the belt" but brandishes anyone who throws it back to her.

 

She now sees herself as the "star' of the show and believes all should bow down and worship her.  She apparently is doing the same thing on the Apprentance and have a cohort in Kate Gosslyn (sp?). She is allegedly angering the production staff and cast members with her usual antics.


Edited by AgingGoth, Today, 07:39 AM.

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#32290

mwell

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Posted Today, 07:46 AM

The only thing that will "shock" Andy is if the ratings for Sunday's reunion are not sky high.


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#32291

Camo

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Posted Today, 08:26 AM

Amen, 33 Diva.

 

Porsha was surprised on a certain level by how Kordell filed, but I don't see - have never seen - that she's an emotional, broken-hearted, basketcase in need of tremendous support because of her divorce.  Her Chanel fountain got switched off.  Talk about getting a pass - sneering about her soon-to-be-ex, then ex-husband's sexuality over and over and over again is not the work of an innocent, devoted, broken-hearted angel in need of protection.  GMAMFB.

 

I don't think Porsha knows a damned thing about marriage, either.  Not a one.  So the idea that she has some kind of standing that 'bitter' Kenya doesn't doesn't square for me. 


Edited by Camo, Today, 08:28 AM.

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#32292

AgingGoth

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Posted Today, 08:45 AM

Problem is most of us are looking in at Porsha's marriage from our side of the fence.  The fact isn't about all the perks she had and now miss being married to a baller.  The fact is that she was married, planned to have kids with this man and planned to be married to him forever.  Then she has the rug pulled from under her and in an instant, she is thrown out the house, back with her mother, single and having to start over again.  To minimize her pain because she married rich is just as wrong as minimizing anyone's pain of ending a marriage.

 

She knows now about marriage and divorce far better than Kenya can ever imagine.  If Kenya could really see what marriage entails, she may not be as dismissive of the sanctity of marriage or have been so invasive.


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#32293

Camo

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Posted Today, 09:13 AM

The hell Porsha knows about the sanctity of marriage.  The hell she knows it better than Kenya.  I'm married and never in the course of this show did Porsha say, demonstrate or otherwise indicate in a single solitary way that she understood a thing about long-term relationships.  There is not a single healthy marriage on this show - although I think Kandi and Todd (mazel tov!) can change that, especially if they screen Joyce's calls and don't have her over often.  It's a pile-up of fraud, abuse, dishonesty and probable infidelity - EVERY other marriage ever on this show, even including Lisa and poor Ed, and Eric and poor DeShawn.  (Maybe, on a certain level, Kim and Kroy know the deal with one another, but I've got my doubts there too). 

 

We have no idea about what Porsha planned for her adult life.  We do know that she had a spot or two in a music video and was groomed for things other than her brain.  Sustained work was never her plan - nor, to be fair, did her family apparently train her for self-sustenance.  I find it interesting that she expressed her pain in hammering again and again at her ex's sexuality.  That's pain?  Naw, that's playing a trump card.  That's playing into some deep vein stereotypes about what a 'man' is and isn't.  I'm not a fan of that kind of bullshit.


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#32294

Lucygirl2

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Posted Today, 09:26 AM

I don't think there is anything shameful in getting tested for HIV.  If you are getting into a committed relationship & you may decide to stop using condoms, I think it is a responsible thing to do.  When I had "the talk" with my son, I said "wrap it, wrap it, wrap it! I don't care if she says she is on birth control.  Truth be told getting a girl pregnant, & we don't want that, isn't the worst thing that can happen to you."

 

I just didn't care for the way Kenya sneered that at a very pregnant Phaedra.  Phaedra has probably had a few HIV tests, it was standard when I got pregnant (of course that was almost 21 years ago).  I just think it is beyond pale to insinuate she needed to get tested when she was so pregnant.


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#32295

AgingGoth

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Posted Today, 09:27 AM

the first thing Porsha said was that she wanted a baby.  She spent the first half of last season trying to have a baby.  Even came up with some unusual ideas to get pregnant.  It was all she talked about.  She also knew her place in the marriage (or so she thought) of being the happy housewife (the only actual full fledge housewife among the cast) and did enjoy that position until the other cast members clued her into life of a working housewife who was not just subserviant.  That was what killed her marriage.  She wanted to be allowed to work and be a housewife and that wasn't what Kordell wanted her for.


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#32296

prmami

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Posted Today, 09:51 AM

*Nene's interview on WWHL was the highest rated WWHL episode ever.
 
 
She/WWHL benefitted from the interview being billed under the guise of a 90 minute season finale.

Edited by prmami, Today, 09:51 AM.

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#32297

diorella78

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Posted Today, 10:10 AM

I just didn't care for the way Kenya sneered that at a very pregnant Phaedra.  Phaedra has probably had a few HIV tests, it was standard when I got pregnant (of course that was almost 21 years ago).  I just think it is beyond pale to insinuate she needed to get tested when she was so pregnant.

 

This is one of the reasons why, while I am at times amused by Kenya and think she's good tv, she also has an extremely nasty streak.....IMO moreso than Nene, who's more thug-like and loud, and on par with Tamra Barney on the OC. Just gutter in some of the remarks she throws out. I think Kenya is a very very unhappy person. 

 

ETA: 

 

Homegirl participated in the "Kordell is gay" game and got mad that someone she doesn't like ran with it. 

 

This is JMO, but I liken this to how someone can talk shit about their own family, but watch your teeth if someone else chooses to 'chime in'. An outsider usually doesn't have the same 'right' to trash someone you love, and even if you're blowing off steam, and while it isn't nice, it's something that happens at times in families. Take someone like Kenya, generally disliked (especially by Porsha) rubbing salt in her wounds and I can see why it pushed her over the edge. It would have been more effective shutting Kenya up if she had some good verbal come back instead, but Porsha is not very bright and she's a yapper. 


Edited by diorella78, Today, 10:18 AM.

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#32298

kassa

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Posted Today, 10:17 AM

I don't think there was legal or even moral justification for Porsha physically attacking Kenya.  However, I'm also not going to cry a river for Kenya over it -- it's a fact of life that if you mouth off to the wrong person at the wrong time, it could come back to bite you in the ass (or hair).   Most adults therefore hold their tongues accordingly. 

 

While it wasn't reasonable for Porsha to attack, I think most of us would recognize that waving something in somebody's face while taunting them might just possibly be a dangerous thing to do.  I think that because humans pretty much universally do not go waving things in people's faces, having had that message driven home to them in preschool when adults would snatch things from their hands and tell them to knock it off. 

 

Porsha is now facing her consequences - Kenya got hers on the spot.


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#32299

ridethemaverick

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Posted Today, 10:24 AM

AgingGoth, yes to everything you posted.

I also agree that Kenya is a miserable human being. While I wouldn't argue that the other ladies are happy (save Kandi), I think they are reacting to what they are dealing with in their lives. If their circumstances were better, I believe they would all be happier and more content.

Kenya? IMO she is just a sad individual. No redeeming qualities at all. No matter what good is in her life, I believe she will always be bitter and miserable. Nastiness seems to be deep down in her core. I think it gets explained away by "oh she's just a brilliant mastermind who's playing a role" but I don't buy that. She's nuts. And this violence directed at her at the reunion. Yeah, I condone the hell out of it. She's been nasty and/or vicious to every other women on this show and kept pushing and pushing until someone finally lashed out. Oh well.
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