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"My Eggs Are Rotting!": Best Bachelor & Bachelorette Quotes


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#1

RubyintheRough

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Posted May 27, 2008 @ 6:14 PM

I thought I'd start a thread so we could remember all the crazy/inane/stupid quotes from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.

I'll start with a great one from last night's episode, courtesy of Ryan the Virgin: "I was voted Friendliest Guy in the Eighth Grade!"

#2

AbrilOrchid

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Posted May 27, 2008 @ 6:19 PM

"You gave her a pearl necklace, and he gave her crabs." ~ some asshat from ep 1, The Bachelorette DeAnna

#3

fionab

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Posted May 27, 2008 @ 10:06 PM

That asshat was Donato.

#4

AbrilOrchid

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Posted May 27, 2008 @ 10:17 PM

Thanks, fionab. There were so many, I was unable to tell one asshat from the next!

#5

LaVieDouce

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Posted May 28, 2008 @ 1:32 AM

Andy: You have my heart.
Tessa: You have mine!

Too bad he turned out to be an asshat.


Andrew: Do you think my future wife is here?
Jen: (pointing to herself and whispering)Me...


Ryan:I am not in love, I am inmersed in it.


Mary:My husband!
Byron:My wife!

Ian:Trouble, trouble, trouble...

But still, to this day, my fave is still Meredian's proposal...

"I am very happy. And I am very happy that I met you," she said to Ian. "Everything that you give to me, I didn't think I would ever find. I don't want to be away from you, ever."

The camera pans to Ian who smiles.

Back to Meredith.

She continues: "Know that I will also take care of you." Ian nods. With the camera on their hands, she squeezes him and goes on, "And know that you will have nothing to worry about."

Both smile.

He's clearly into the moment. She leans to him and says "Stop, you're making me nervous." He leans toward her and tenderly responds, "No, no. It's o.k."

Meredith continues, "Ian, I want to be with you. And I don't ever see myself without you. And I am so absolutely so, so in love with you; it's crazy. And I have never felt this way before."

As she begins to get choked up, he wraps her in his arms, says "I'm so scared, baby" then kisses her.

Ian says to Meredith, "That first day I walked out of the limo," he says with a twinkle in his eye, "when I saw you, I knew."

Meredith, with a look of shock, expresses with her eyes that she can't believe it's true.

He then goes on to say, "I just worry that everything has happened so fast."

Meredith agrees.

Ian says "I'm scared. But..." Meredith echoes, "but..."

Ian gathers himself and goes on, "I trust my instincts. And that's that you're my girl." They kiss. He goes onto ask, "Do you think we can make it?" She combs her fingers through his hair and shakes her head, yes.

Ian pulls away and says "Well, I have a little something something. A little present."

In elation and disbelief, she puts her hand over her face and says, "Oh, my God."

Ian gets on his knee, and says "I can't believe I'm doing this." He looks up at her and asks "Will you?" She says, "Yes." He says, "You will?" She says, "Yes!"

He wraps his arms around her. They kiss tenderly, passionately. She promises him that it will be o.k. He tells her he wants to put the ring on her finger. They hug again, and we can't believe we are witnessing this.

Ian goes on to explain, "I knew that because I was here. This is so not what I expected. Not me. When I walked in, I knew it has to be." "Right?" he says. "It has to work. I know it does."

As they kiss again, the camera pans to the one remaining rose on the gold plate and we hear Meredith's voice say, "I'm so happy. Everything that I went through was all worth it for tonight. Ian made it all worth it."

As she pins the rose on his lapel, she says "You'll accept this, right?" He agrees to accept the rose. They laugh. He gives a little gesture like "Hey, that wasn't so tough." They hug again. She laughs her adorable laugh.

As we watch another moment of tenderness we hear Ian's voice say, "I am the happiest man. There is no question. I'm absolutely 100% sure that she is my soulmate. I believe that we are right together. I love her. And we have something we can take for the rest of our lives."


In Meredith's diary published on ABC's site, she said after the taping:

Tonight made everything that I went through in the past six weeks worth it. I know I've had hard times through this, but Ian pulled me through. I have been continuously tired, I've cried, I've worried; but it is all okay now. The fact that he is going to be in my life forever makes me happier than I can say. When I had to break up with Matthew today, Ian was the only thing I could think of that made it okay. I didn't know if Ian was going to propose or not, but I am so in love with him, that it didn't even matter. Ian could have given me a ring out of a gumball machine; that is how much I love him. It doesn't matter; all that matters is that we are together now. The night was so intense for us both, but I got my happy ending, and I got Ian as well.


I melted!

Edited by TWoP Barnes, May 28, 2008 @ 8:12 AM.
tag fix


#6

oakgal

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Posted May 28, 2008 @ 1:51 PM

Absolutely one of the best quotes comes courtesy of Sarah W. from Charlie's Bachelor season. When she was eliminated at the Final 3, she said:

ďIím such a sweet girl. Iím such a great catch. People think like Iím surfacy or something but when it comes down to it the truth is people are mean to me because of the way I look and it sounds so stupid. People hate me because Iím beautiful and that sounds so horrible but thatís a real thing and itís a curse as much as it is a blessing to be pretty. I mean no matter what there is a huge prejudice and racism when it comes down to it and thatís why this didnít work out you know? If I had just been a little uglier and a little less noticeable. Itís just really sad that itís not ever gonna happen. It sucks.

Brilliant.

#7

RubyintheRough

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Posted May 28, 2008 @ 2:40 PM

"Surfacy" is my new favorite word.

#8

TWoP Barnes

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Posted May 29, 2008 @ 6:53 PM

I mean no matter what there is a huge prejudice and racism when it comes down to it and thatís why this didnít work out you know?


Beautiful people are a race, now? I didn't get my memo. Huh.

#9

snarkella

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Posted May 29, 2008 @ 7:08 PM

That girl was a total nut job - and although tall, thin and blond, she wasn't any more than normally pretty. Certainly not a beauty by any true definition.


One of my fav quotes was in the season they went to Paris. I remember one of the b'bettes looking at the Eiffel tower and commenting that 'it was just like the one in Las Vegas'. She was a real scholar!

Edited by snarkella, May 29, 2008 @ 7:10 PM.


#10

happyhippy

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Posted Jun 2, 2008 @ 4:01 PM

Beautiful people are a race, now? I didn't get my memo. Huh.


You mean you don't check "other" on forms and write in "Beautiful"? Tsk tsk.


Anyone have a translation of Hillary's famous bleep speech about what she would do to Brad? That's one of my most memorable, but I don't know half of what she said. lol

Edited by happyhippy, Jun 2, 2008 @ 4:02 PM.


#11

Moche

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Posted Jun 2, 2008 @ 8:08 PM

I believe it was bachelor Bryan who made a toast with the family during the hometown date:
"Here's to Christmas in Texas!" and then dumped the girl at the next rose ceremony. Very uncool way to lead her and her family on; and I still remember it today. Why, I don't know! :-)

Edited by Moche, Jun 2, 2008 @ 8:11 PM.


#12

mercury33

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Posted Jun 3, 2008 @ 11:34 AM

"DeAnna didn't reject me, she just chose other guys." -- assclown who got elimated last night

#13

laffingtaffy

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Posted Jun 4, 2008 @ 9:05 PM

"It's a pimped-out watch and who wouldn't want to wear it?" -Tina Fab

#14

Moche

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Posted Jun 4, 2008 @ 9:12 PM

Tina Fabulous in her limo "interview" after being eliminated at the final three, from Season 3/Andrew Firestone:

"I think being in a relationship with Andrew would have stripped me from my goals, my ambitions, and everything I have ahead of me. Because I don't think being barefoot and pregnant on a vineyard is fabulous. At all.


Love it!

Edited by Moche, Jun 4, 2008 @ 9:15 PM.


#15

ShouldBeSleepin

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Posted Jun 5, 2008 @ 2:05 AM

Ryan about Trista on their Seattle date:

"And sometimes when she kisses me it makes it even harder"

#16

LaVieDouce

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Posted Jun 5, 2008 @ 9:17 AM

Andrew's sister when describing Kirsten:

"I just have to wonder where the substance beneath the beautiful surface lies."

Hee! She totally called her a moron and I loved it!

#17

oakgal

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Posted Jun 5, 2008 @ 4:46 PM

Oh, ShouldBeSleepin that Ryan quote is classic. I totally remember that moment. It was when they were in the hot-tub right? Classic.

#18

Vexer

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Posted Jun 5, 2008 @ 11:28 PM

Lindsay from Bob's season:

"Wow! He is so good lookin! I am gonna have to lay on the southern charm thick to him so hopefully he'll wanna take me home and sop me up with a biscuit"

#19

ShouldBeSleepin

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Posted Jun 6, 2008 @ 2:55 AM

Oh, ShouldBeSleepin that Ryan quote is classic. I totally remember that moment. It was when they were in the hot-tub right? Classic.


Yeah, I think he said it in an interview spliced in during the hot tub. While in the hottub he said something about needing to jump into icewater immediately, and it sure looks like Trista glances down to see if it in fact got a little (or a lot) harder. That Seattle date was something.

#20

Moche

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Posted Jun 6, 2008 @ 11:26 AM

OK, after watching the re-run of the 1st episode of Jesse "Dufus" Palmer, this has to be the biggest joke ever told. Knowing what we do now after watching the full season the first time, when I heard this, I actually busted out laughing:

Jesse's dad on Jesse:

"Well, I think there's a lot more to Jesse than playing football.
He is an accomplished academic with two degrees, one in Political Science and one in Business. And I think he is very worldly."

Ha! Uh, sorry but a Black Hole, (which no light can ever escape) is brighter than your son. An intellect he is not. And "worldly"? Jesse is about as worldly then as Tara Reid and her "Wild On..." globe-trotting skank parties were. He is not exactly a modern day Leonardo Da Vinci.



The Jesse season was a goldmine for good/bad quotes!

Getting out the limo and meeting Jesse, when they cut to the interview where the girls are talking either about what they want or what's so great/best about themselves:

DeShaun 25 - Account Manager from Colombus, OH says very confidently (cocky):

"When I look at other females I honestly feel like... this person doesn't have what I have. You know, I have a great smile. I have a beautiful intonation to my voice. I will almost sing you to sleep with my voice alone.Although I am very dominate in nature, I'm not very competitive. I'm really just a "kill them with kindness" and then steal their man behind their back (then throws head back and cackles).

Honey, in Greek mythology you are what is known as a siren; which was a beautiful woman/creature of the sea who would lure men to their deaths by their beautiful voices. Yea, I wouldn't be advertising that so much. That has to be one of the weirdest traits someone has used to describe their "best" qualities. It's usually, "I'm intelligent, kind, have a good heart, love family, blah, blah, blah fishcakes." Not that I can lure men to their death with my beautiful voice. ;-)

From Wikipedia on Sirens: Ha! A cannibal..

The term "siren song" refers to an appeal that is hard to resist but that, if heeded, will lead to a bad result. Later writers have inferred that the Sirens were anthropophagous (cannibals), based on Circe's description of them "lolling there in their meadow, round them heaps of corpses rotting away, rags of skin shriveling on their bones" (Fagles' translation).


Edited by Moche, Jun 6, 2008 @ 12:34 PM.


#21

RainOnATinRoof

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Posted Jan 10, 2009 @ 3:11 PM

I will almost sing you to sleep with my voice alone.



As opposed to those of us who can almost sing people to sleep with something other than just our voices? You can't sing with anything other than a voice!

(And yes, I know that we use the phrase "make it sing" with other instruments and in situations, but in this way, she meant actual singing, which is done with a voice.)

#22

breathesgelatin

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Posted Jan 20, 2009 @ 12:36 AM

So many gems from this episode. Please feel free to correct my wording as I don't have DVR.

Megan: "I want to draw a fetus on my bust because how would women breastfeed if everyone had breast cancer?"

Megan: "I feel awful not being in a situation where people are telling me what a blessing it is to have me in their lives."

Natatlie: "I like shoes, fashion, shopping... and bears."

#23

RainOnATinRoof

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Posted Jan 20, 2009 @ 12:42 AM

Personally, the one that got a guffaw out of me was Natalie's, "All the natural things were so beautiful, the hoover damn, the red rocks..."

Even Jason did a bit of a double take. I would have laughed in her face.

#24

Faille

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Posted Feb 11, 2009 @ 11:05 AM

Today I learned that Hector loves Jesus!

- Jason

I loved it because it seemed so spontaneous.. He just went through this nutty day with Naomi's family, and you just know the producers sat him down and said "So, what did you learn today?" and he just blurted it out. Most honest statement in the season, I think.

#25

bbb

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Posted Feb 11, 2009 @ 7:08 PM

"Be one with the hula hoop." --Naomi's mom

#26

Mariposa06

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Posted Feb 17, 2009 @ 7:46 AM

Jason commenting on the non-date with Melissa:

"That day, we were like a real couple - Melissa, Ty and I "


Um...Jay? that's 3 people!


Also Jason, during the bungee jump with Molly: "AM I THE ONLY ONE SCREAMING?"

Edited by Mariposa06, Feb 17, 2009 @ 7:50 AM.


#27

corbear

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Posted Jun 23, 2009 @ 9:20 PM

"Is this a lake or an ocean?" - Wes, on a train in the middle of Canada

#28

Whataconcept

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Posted Jun 23, 2009 @ 11:15 PM

"Now that I know how soft her feet are, I really want her to meet my family."--Tanner.

#29

alliesun07

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Posted Jun 24, 2009 @ 7:42 AM

"I don't have any skills, I'm not here to do shit... I just wanna suck on some toes and meet me some Jillian." - Tanner

#30

canshetype

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Posted Jun 24, 2009 @ 11:29 AM

"You bastard." -- Melissa