Posted Mar 29, 2012 @ 1:55 PM
Hmmm...I didn't know drive-ins still existed, but apparently they do. Originally I wondered if Rudy's would have a little problem with Sandy cooking their menu items in their parking lot and possibly driving away their business, but then, it's not like anybody would be lining up to eat that crap anyway. But why on earth would they give away their secrets to Sandy? Or is she full of it as usual?
Rudy's customers, assuming they were doing business at that particular time, must have been wondering about the idiot who was not only grilling in the parking lot of a drive-in, but who had apparently lugged a table there and had decorated it. Why doesn't she just go inside and order something?
Why am I thinking that the sole reason Sandy was wearing that overshirt was because she needed longer sleeves that she could dip INto the "food?"
We get to hear about Kuh-leen today, because she and SLop apparently spent a lot of time there in college. Sandy wishes Kuh-leen were there. Why, Sandy? She wasn't one of your guests? You sure seemed to be cooking for her!
That dumb combo relish of hers isn't going to make anybody happy if they like only sweet or spicy and not both. Why didn't she make a sweet one AND a spicy one?
You call THAT deep-throating? Oh Sandy-poo, I am so disappointed. I know you can do better than that.
Why did Sandy season already-seasoned potato wedges, you may ask? Because obviously they didn't have all the seasoning we NEED. Hence the chili seasoning packet, which did. The fries, even combined with the canned chili (or anything else you like, it will be perfect!) also probably did not contain enough sodium to kill an elephant, and again, that is why we need a seasoning packet.
After putting the potato wedges/fries on the dirty grill, Sandy then neglects them so she can make her nasty walnut burger (with avocado slices, because Kuh-leen won't have it any other way, so we have to have them even though she won't be here). It's a good thing that grill wasn't on, because her potato wedges/fries could have sustained some nasty burns.
Apple cider vinegar with no mention of Kimber? She was slipping. On the other hand, she did add another seasoning packet to the burgers and talked about how they save all kinds of time and money, so maybe she hasn't slipped that far yet.
Ah, root beer floats. How could you possibly mess those up? (Watches Sandy make her root beer float sundae.) Well, I guess that's one way. Maybe if she hadn't used Cool Whip...
Since cocktails must feature in everything Sandy does in her life, we must include Cocktail Time! on our trip to a drive-in. Did she actually add pudding to this thing or did I have some kind of hallucination? This cocktail features orange everything, including li-KOOR, along with melk (BLECH!) and vanilla vodka (of course!). She basically spiked the hell out of this thing. Hopefully one of her guests will be able to serve as designated driver, or otherwise nobody will be able to leave that place for quite a while. Wait...there won't really be any guests, you say? It's just SLop? Ouch...
Well, at least she'll have a nice tablescape to look at while she sobers up, which includes lllli'l ketchup bottles so her imaginary guests can't fight over the ketchup. Except they probably will anyway since that's probably nowhere near enough ketchup to disguise the flavor of the "food." Sandy should have included portable toilets as well, to accommodate the fight to use the bathroom that likely occurs after the meal. Maybe she could have even decorated those to match her tablescape!
Any particular reason Sandy wants us to buy plastic disposable silverware online instead of just buying it like normal people? I mean, I like shopping online, but that just sounds odd.
Since I've never been to a drive-in, I can't help wondering how all those people find room to set up their portable kitchens. Do they cook before the movie or during it? Where does everybody find the space to set up their tablescapes?