Topical Quotes Game
Posted Apr 8, 2012 @ 4:19 PM
[the kids gasps]
Lisa Simpson: That's right. A girl who wants to play football. How about that?
Ned Flanders: Well, thats super-duper, Lisa. We've already got four girls on the team.
Lisa Simpson: You do?
Ned Flanders: Uh huh. But we'd love to have you on board!
Lisa Simpson: Well... football's not really my thing. After all... what kind of civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent pig?
Ned Flanders: Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic!
Janey: And for every ball you buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International!
Lisa Simpson: [crying] I've gotta go!
The Simpsons, "Bart Star"
Posted Apr 10, 2012 @ 10:42 AM
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
The Simpsons, "Lisa the Vegetarian"
Posted Apr 10, 2012 @ 11:51 AM
LORELAI: Yeah, Lasanos, party of five at eight oíclock.
SOOKIE: I thought you said you werenít gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
LORELAI: No, you said you werenít gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
SOOKIE: But Iím making my baked stuffed pork chops for tonight.
LORELAI: Well, make Ďem for the other guests and make something else for the Lasanos.
SOOKIE: Like what?
LORELAI: I donít know. Pasta, you make great pasta.
SOOKIE: But thatís boring, anyone can make pasta. Iím an artist. You donít dictate to an artist, you donít tell him what to do. I mean, no ever walked up to Degas and said, "Hey, pal, easy with the dancers, enough already. Draw a nice fruit bowl once in awhile, will ya?"
Gilmore Girls, "Haunted Leg"
Posted Apr 11, 2012 @ 1:26 PM
Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing?
Sophia: I'm giving the leftover meatloaf a thrill.
Golden Girls, "Yokel Hero"
Posted Apr 15, 2012 @ 4:14 PM
Damon: Yeah, well. I didnít mean it with him.
Vampire Diaries, "Ghost World"
Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 12:23 AM
Tony: That's original, McGee. Is there any part of your brain that's your own?
McGee: At least I have one, Tony.
Tony: What's that supposed to mean?
Tony: ...we're not going anywhere.
McGee: What, until I apologize?
Tony: No, not until you apologize. We're in the wrong damn car.
Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 10:53 AM
AMY: No, honey, that would be a mistake.
MORGAN: I made a mistake.
Boy Meets World, "Cory's Alternative Friends"
Edited by Kosmonaut, Apr 16, 2012 @ 10:54 AM.
Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 12:16 PM
Benton Fraser: Me? Well it's in Canadian funds, so you have to deduct 38% , but, uh...
Fraser: About myself. Absolutely. Consulate work is pretty dull. Although there was this one passport case-
Mackenzie: Wait a minute. You work at the consulate?
Fraser: Well, yes. That's why I'm paid in Canadian funds. It's some- it's an odd governmental regulation.
Due South, "Diefenbaker's Day Off"
Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 10:26 PM
Agent Dennis: Ah, I'm a capricorn.
Tony: LEO, short for Law Enforcement Officer.
NCIS, "Yankee White"
Posted Apr 17, 2012 @ 9:14 AM
LORELAI: What does that mean?
RORY: "Totally psyched to do it."
LORELAI: He's making up his own acronyms?
RORY: Yeah, and he just learned how to make the happy face.
Gilmore Girls, "I Get A Sidekick Out Of You"
Posted Apr 17, 2012 @ 5:12 PM
Jeff: That's okay, just give me your real number and I'll cleanse my pallet while Kevin rethinks his marriage.
Community, "Advanced Criminal Law"
Posted Apr 17, 2012 @ 6:28 PM
Sheldon: Morse Code
Sheldon: So we can communicate through the wall
Leonard: We are communicating through the wall
Sheldon: Yes, but the communication is not encrypted
The Big Bang Theory, "The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem"
Edited by ParadoxLost, Apr 17, 2012 @ 6:29 PM.
Posted Apr 18, 2012 @ 8:33 AM
TOBY: Of course.
MICHAEL: Well, the other night, I was sitting at the table, eating my penis... I mean peas. That was weird. Aaaah... weird. I think that was ... I was probed. By an alien life form. An A.L.F. Alf, you know, I might have actually been probed by Alf. You might think he's a puppet. You never see the lower half. But there is a lower half.
The Office, "Counseling"
Posted Apr 18, 2012 @ 4:16 PM
Lyle: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
The Simpsons, "Marge vs The Monorail"
Posted Apr 18, 2012 @ 6:17 PM
Jake: Are you ready to do this?
Elliot: You know it!
JD's Narration: ...Like talking to people when she's on the toilet.
Scrubs "My Changing Ways"
Posted Apr 19, 2012 @ 8:46 AM
JACKSON: Just a temporary name.
SOOKIE: You want me to serve my customers a genetically engineered vegetable that's named after a butt?
Gilmore Girls, "Paris Is Burning"
Posted Apr 19, 2012 @ 1:50 PM
Perconte: Kind of remind of you Bastogne?
Luz: Yeah, now that you mention it. Except, of course, there's no snow, we got warm grub in our bellies and the trees aren't fucking exploding from Kraut artillery, but yeah, Frank, other than that, it's a lot like Bastogne.
Luz: Bull, smack him for me, please? [Bull complies.] Thank you.
Band of Brothers, "Why We Fight"
Posted Apr 19, 2012 @ 8:02 PM
The Simpsons, "Bart vs. Thanksgiving"
Posted Apr 20, 2012 @ 9:30 AM
LORELAI: How fast do you learn, Billy Jack?
TV: 'Fast enough.'
RORY: Billy Jack, I'm gonna kill you if it's the last thing I do.
LORELAI: Ugh, he so jinxed himself with that one.
RORY: Yeah, he should've said 'Billy Jack, I'm gonna kill you or buy myself a lovely chenille sweater.'
LORELAI: Ooh, yeah, either way he wins.
Gilmore Girls, "Red Light on the Wedding Night"
Edited by Kosmonaut, Apr 20, 2012 @ 9:30 AM.
Posted Apr 20, 2012 @ 7:44 PM
Rachel: What are you talking about? OH MY...They put my baby's face on a penis!
Friends, "The One with Cake"
Edited by ParadoxLost, Apr 20, 2012 @ 7:45 PM.
Posted Apr 23, 2012 @ 11:01 AM
RORY: Tell me again why you're fasting for Ramadan.
PARIS: Look, Rory, if you want to crib your articles from the A.P. Wire, that's your business. I, on the other hand, actually give a rat's ass about journalistic integrity. When I write about Ramadan, I experience Ramadan. Are you chewing gum?
RORY: What? Yes. Why?
PARIS: I'd really prefer it if you didn't chew it at me.
RORY: Paris, did you know that not eating can make people kind of snippy?
PARIS: Ramadan is about a lot more than just not eating. It calls for a total abstinence from food particles passing through the mouth or nose. Your Bazooka is passing through my nose.
Gilmore Girls, "Emily Says Hello"
Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 10:57 AM
Stefan: Double dating. This is all kind of new to me. I usually keep to myself. I don`t always fit in.
Matt: That`s because you`re that guy.
Stefan: What guy?
Matt: The guy who seems like he has everything, so the people that don`t, kind of run the other way.
Stefan: Is that what I seem like?
Matt: Pretty much.
Stefan: Hmm... What a dick.
Vampire Diaries, "There Goes the Neighborhood"
Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 11:32 AM
MARTY: In bed?
MARTY: Damn. I lost the pool.
Gilmore Girls, "Written in the Stars"
Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 10:38 PM
Flynn: Listen, chief, Provenza and I made a command decision that for the sake of the family and out of respect for the deceased that the funeral should continue.
Provenza: As soon as the family leaves, we'll haul Hodge up and do what needs to be done.
The Closer, "Saving Face".
Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 8:53 AM
SPIKE: Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding.
BUFFY: How 'bout a daytime ceremony. In the park.
SPIKE: Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.
BUFFY: Under the trees. Indirect sunlight, only.
SPIKE: Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again ó you're registering as Mr. and Mrs. Big-Pile-of-Dust.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Something Blue"
Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 9:50 AM
Leonard: No, but it was okay. I mean, when I was little, I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind and surprise me with a party. Like, this one birthday, I cam home from my cello lesson, and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front and when I got to the door I could hear people whispering and I could smell German chocolate cake, which is my favorite-
Leonard: It turns out my grandfather had died.
Penny: Oh my god, that's terrible!
Leonard: Well it was kind of like a birthday party. I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so...
Penny: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Howard: Ya think? Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom.
The Big Bang Theory, "The Peanut Reaction"
Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 1:03 PM
Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
The Simpsons, "Boy Scoutz 'n the Hood"
Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 1:28 PM
LORELAI: I plan to eat a five-dollar bill later tonight.
RORY: Oh, have you seen the new twenties? They have a little peach color in 'em.
LORELAI: Peach, perfect. I'll eat a new twenty, I'll have my fruits and vegetables.
Gilmore Girls, "Die Jerk"
Posted Apr 27, 2012 @ 9:52 AM
SAM: You Ė and you would know this how?
DEAN: I saw Black Swan. Twice. Hot tutu-on-tutu action? Come on, Sam. What's wrong with you?
Supernatural, "Out with the Old"
Posted Apr 28, 2012 @ 9:38 AM
Londo: These Earthers! I try to find out as much as I can about them to try to make some sense of them, but it never seems to come together.
Delenn: They do seem to be a mass of contradictions.
Londo: Exactly my point! HereĖsix thousand years of recorded history, a history that includes remarkable composers, astonishing symphonies! But what is the one song that half of them sing to their children generation after generation?
You put your right hand in,
You put your right hand out.
You put your whole self in,
And you turn yourself about.
You do the hokey-pokey,
You give a little shout.
That's what it's all about!
It doesn't mean anything! I have been studying it for seven days! I had the computer analyze it! I swear to you, it does not mean a thing!
Delenn: We've come at a bad time, haven't we?
Babylon 5, "A Voice in the Wilderness, Part 1"