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Topical Quotes Game


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#3271

bethy

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Posted Apr 8, 2012 @ 4:19 PM

Lisa Simpson: What position have you got for me?
[the kids gasps]
Lisa Simpson: That's right. A girl who wants to play football. How about that?
Ned Flanders: Well, thats super-duper, Lisa. We've already got four girls on the team.
Lisa Simpson: You do?
Ned Flanders: Uh huh. But we'd love to have you on board!
Lisa Simpson: Well... football's not really my thing. After all... what kind of civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent pig?
Ned Flanders: Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic!
Janey: And for every ball you buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International!
Lisa Simpson: [crying] I've gotta go!

The Simpsons, "Bart Star"

pigs
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#3272

PrussianBlue

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Posted Apr 10, 2012 @ 10:42 AM

Is it okay if the keyword is implied? This is one of my favoritist quotes ever.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

The Simpsons, "Lisa the Vegetarian"

vegetarian
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#3273

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 10, 2012 @ 11:51 AM

SOOKIE: Okay, I just got a message that a vegetarian menu was requested for tonight.
LORELAI: Yeah, Lasanos, party of five at eight oíclock.
SOOKIE: I thought you said you werenít gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
LORELAI: No, you said you werenít gonna let vegetarians in here anymore.
SOOKIE: But Iím making my baked stuffed pork chops for tonight.
LORELAI: Well, make Ďem for the other guests and make something else for the Lasanos.
SOOKIE: Like what?
LORELAI: I donít know. Pasta, you make great pasta.
SOOKIE: But thatís boring, anyone can make pasta. Iím an artist. You donít dictate to an artist, you donít tell him what to do. I mean, no ever walked up to Degas and said, "Hey, pal, easy with the dancers, enough already. Draw a nice fruit bowl once in awhile, will ya?"

Gilmore Girls, "Haunted Leg"

meatloaf
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#3274

DirectEstoppel

DirectEstoppel

Posted Apr 11, 2012 @ 1:26 PM

(Sophia is standing in front of the refrigerator with her robe open. The other Golden Girls walk in)
Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing?
Sophia: I'm giving the leftover meatloaf a thrill.

Golden Girls, "Yokel Hero"

recycling
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#3275

bethy

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Posted Apr 15, 2012 @ 4:14 PM

Alaric: Youíre going to recycle that same crap-ass apology you gave to Mason Lockwood?
Damon: Yeah, well. I didnít mean it with him.

Vampire Diaries, "Ghost World"

apologies
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#3276

Lara_2113

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Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 12:23 AM

(team gets in the car)
Tony: That's original, McGee. Is there any part of your brain that's your own?
McGee: At least I have one, Tony.
Tony: What's that supposed to mean?
McGee: Nothing.
Tony: ...we're not going anywhere.
McGee: What, until I apologize?
Tony: No, not until you apologize. We're in the wrong damn car.

NCIS, "Switch"

mistake
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#3277

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 10:53 AM

MORGAN: Mommy, if my dolly is cold can I put her in the toaster oven?
AMY: No, honey, that would be a mistake.
MORGAN: Mommy?
AMY: What?
MORGAN: I made a mistake.

Boy Meets World, "Cory's Alternative Friends"

Canada

Edited by Kosmonaut, Apr 16, 2012 @ 10:54 AM.

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#3278

Radagast

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Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 12:16 PM

Mackenzie King: How much do you make?
Benton Fraser: Me? Well it's in Canadian funds, so you have to deduct 38% , but, uh...
Mackenzie: Enough.
Fraser: About myself. Absolutely. Consulate work is pretty dull. Although there was this one passport case-
Mackenzie: Wait a minute. You work at the consulate?
Fraser: Well, yes. That's why I'm paid in Canadian funds. It's some- it's an odd governmental regulation.

Due South
, "Diefenbaker's Day Off"

Law Enforcement
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#3279

Lara_2113

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Posted Apr 16, 2012 @ 10:26 PM

Gibbs: We're LEOs.
Agent Dennis: Ah, I'm a capricorn.
Tony: LEO, short for Law Enforcement Officer.

NCIS, "Yankee White"

acronym
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#3280

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 17, 2012 @ 9:14 AM

RORY: [Reading at text from her dad] T.P.T.D.I.
LORELAI: What does that mean?
RORY: "Totally psyched to do it."
LORELAI: He's making up his own acronyms?
RORY: Yeah, and he just learned how to make the happy face.

Gilmore Girls, "I Get A Sidekick Out Of You"

text message
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#3281

Aunt Pittypat

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Posted Apr 17, 2012 @ 5:12 PM

Jeff: So I guess the cell phone number you put on the study group contact sheet was fake, which I just learned in the awkward conclusion of a month long text message affair with a dude from Boulder.
Britta: Sorry
Jeff: That's okay, just give me your real number and I'll cleanse my pallet while Kevin rethinks his marriage.

Community, "Advanced Criminal Law"

Morse Code

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#3282

ParadoxLost

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Posted Apr 17, 2012 @ 6:28 PM

Leonard: What are you doing?

Sheldon: Morse Code

Leonard: Why?

Sheldon: So we can communicate through the wall

Leonard: We are communicating through the wall

Sheldon: Yes, but the communication is not encrypted

The Big Bang Theory, "The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem"

alien

Edited by ParadoxLost, Apr 17, 2012 @ 6:29 PM.

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#3283

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 18, 2012 @ 8:33 AM

MICHAEL: Toby, can I really tell you anything?
TOBY: Of course.
MICHAEL: Well, the other night, I was sitting at the table, eating my penis... I mean peas. That was weird. Aaaah... weird. I think that was ... I was probed. By an alien life form. An A.L.F. Alf, you know, I might have actually been probed by Alf. You might think he's a puppet. You never see the lower half. But there is a lower half.

The Office, "Counseling"

Devil
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#3284

Feckless

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Posted Apr 18, 2012 @ 4:16 PM

Abraham Simpson: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

The Simpsons, "Marge vs The Monorail"

Confidence
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#3285

ParadoxLost

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Posted Apr 18, 2012 @ 6:17 PM

JD's Narration: Elliot's boyfriend, Jake, had given her confidence to do things she'd never been able to do before.

Jake: Are you ready to do this?

Elliot: You know it!

JD's Narration: ...Like talking to people when she's on the toilet.

Scrubs "My Changing Ways"

vegetables
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#3286

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 19, 2012 @ 8:46 AM

SOOKIE: A zucchini tush?
JACKSON: Just a temporary name.
SOOKIE: You want me to serve my customers a genetically engineered vegetable that's named after a butt?

Gilmore Girls, "Paris Is Burning"

trees
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#3287

bethy

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Posted Apr 19, 2012 @ 1:50 PM

Perconte: Hey, George!
Luz: Yeah
Perconte: Kind of remind of you Bastogne?
Luz: Yeah, now that you mention it. Except, of course, there's no snow, we got warm grub in our bellies and the trees aren't fucking exploding from Kraut artillery, but yeah, Frank, other than that, it's a lot like Bastogne.
Perconte: Right?
Luz: Bull, smack him for me, please? [Bull complies.] Thank you.

Band of Brothers, "Why We Fight"

grub
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#3288

ParadoxLost

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Posted Apr 19, 2012 @ 8:02 PM

Bart: Alright! Twelve bucks and grub to boot! Viva skid row!

The Simpsons, "Bart vs. Thanksgiving"

sweater
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#3289

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 20, 2012 @ 9:30 AM

TV: 'You don't learn very fast, Injun.'
LORELAI: How fast do you learn, Billy Jack?
TV: 'Fast enough.'
RORY: Billy Jack, I'm gonna kill you if it's the last thing I do.
LORELAI: Ugh, he so jinxed himself with that one.
RORY: Yeah, he should've said 'Billy Jack, I'm gonna kill you or buy myself a lovely chenille sweater.'
LORELAI: Ooh, yeah, either way he wins.

Gilmore Girls, "Red Light on the Wedding Night"

bachelorette party

Edited by Kosmonaut, Apr 20, 2012 @ 9:30 AM.

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#3290

ParadoxLost

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Posted Apr 20, 2012 @ 7:44 PM

Ross: Does this bakery by any chance bake erotic cakes for bachelorette parties?

Rachel: What are you talking about? OH MY...They put my baby's face on a penis!

Friends, "The One with Cake"

bazooka

Edited by ParadoxLost, Apr 20, 2012 @ 7:45 PM.

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#3291

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 23, 2012 @ 11:01 AM

How convenient that I just watched this episode. Sorry it's not the weapon.

RORY: Tell me again why you're fasting for Ramadan.
PARIS: Look, Rory, if you want to crib your articles from the A.P. Wire, that's your business. I, on the other hand, actually give a rat's ass about journalistic integrity. When I write about Ramadan, I experience Ramadan. Are you chewing gum?
RORY: What? Yes. Why?
PARIS: I'd really prefer it if you didn't chew it at me.
RORY: Paris, did you know that not eating can make people kind of snippy?
PARIS: Ramadan is about a lot more than just not eating. It calls for a total abstinence from food particles passing through the mouth or nose. Your Bazooka is passing through my nose.

Gilmore Girls, "Emily Says Hello"

double date
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#3292

bethy

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 10:57 AM

Matt: Is there anything you`re not good at?
Stefan: Double dating. This is all kind of new to me. I usually keep to myself. I don`t always fit in.
Matt: That`s because you`re that guy.
Stefan: What guy?
Matt: The guy who seems like he has everything, so the people that don`t, kind of run the other way.
Stefan: Is that what I seem like?
Matt: Pretty much.
Stefan: Hmm... What a dick.

Vampire Diaries, "There Goes the Neighborhood"

pool
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#3293

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 11:32 AM

RORY: Asher Fleming died.
MARTY: In bed?
RORY: No.
MARTY: Damn. I lost the pool.

Gilmore Girls, "Written in the Stars"

funeral
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#3294

Lara_2113

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Posted Apr 25, 2012 @ 10:38 PM

Brenda: Lieutenant Tao tells me that a murder victim rolled out of that casket.
Flynn: Listen, chief, Provenza and I made a command decision that for the sake of the family and out of respect for the deceased that the funeral should continue.
Provenza: As soon as the family leaves, we'll haul Hodge up and do what needs to be done.

The Closer, "Saving Face".

wedding
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#3295

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 8:53 AM

BUFFY: There's so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception...
SPIKE: Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding.
BUFFY: How 'bout a daytime ceremony. In the park.
SPIKE: Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.
BUFFY: Under the trees. Indirect sunlight, only.
SPIKE: Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again ó you're registering as Mr. and Mrs. Big-Pile-of-Dust.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Something Blue"

prom
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#3296

jessicajason

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Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 9:50 AM

Penny: So, you've really never had a birthday party?
Leonard: No, but it was okay. I mean, when I was little, I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind and surprise me with a party. Like, this one birthday, I cam home from my cello lesson, and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front and when I got to the door I could hear people whispering and I could smell German chocolate cake, which is my favorite-
Penny: And?
Leonard: It turns out my grandfather had died.
Penny: Oh my god, that's terrible!
Leonard: Well it was kind of like a birthday party. I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so...
Penny: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Howard: Ya think? Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom.

The Big Bang Theory, "The Peanut Reaction"

peanuts
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#3297

bethy

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Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 1:03 PM

[Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead]
Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

The Simpsons, "Boy Scoutz 'n the Hood"

twenty dollars
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#3298

Kosmonaut

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Posted Apr 26, 2012 @ 1:28 PM

EMILY: You really should eat more green things, Lorelai.
LORELAI: I plan to eat a five-dollar bill later tonight.
RORY: Oh, have you seen the new twenties? They have a little peach color in 'em.
LORELAI: Peach, perfect. I'll eat a new twenty, I'll have my fruits and vegetables.

Gilmore Girls, "Die Jerk"

ballerina
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#3299

PrussianBlue

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Posted Apr 27, 2012 @ 9:52 AM

DEAN: Dancers. They are toe shoes full of crazy.

SAM: You Ė and you would know this how?

DEAN: I saw Black Swan. Twice. Hot tutu-on-tutu action? Come on, Sam. What's wrong with you?

Supernatural, "Out with the Old"

composers
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#3300

LostinFlight

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Posted Apr 28, 2012 @ 9:38 AM

[Londo vents his frustrations over trying to understand humans to Delenn and Draal.]
Londo: These Earthers! I try to find out as much as I can about them to try to make some sense of them, but it never seems to come together.
Delenn: They do seem to be a mass of contradictions.
Londo: Exactly my point! HereĖsix thousand years of recorded history, a history that includes remarkable composers, astonishing symphonies! But what is the one song that half of them sing to their children generation after generation?

You put your right hand in,
You put your right hand out.
You put your whole self in,
And you turn yourself about.
You do the hokey-pokey,
You give a little shout.
That's what it's all about!


It doesn't mean anything! I have been studying it for seven days! I had the computer analyze it! I swear to you, it does not mean a thing!
Delenn: We've come at a bad time, haven't we?


Babylon 5, "A Voice in the Wilderness, Part 1"


Cramps
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