3509 replies to this topic

[The Librarian]

It's Bartlet's Quotations for televsion! One of us gives a topic, the next person offers a quote from a T.V. show about said topic, then adds another topic. Easy, right?

I'll start, with something fairly current: sex scandals.

[CaffeinatedTV]

"Times have changed a little and as much as we are a family here at Dunder Mifflin, there comes a time when the daddy cannot take a bath with the kids anymore. I am upper management and it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to." - Michael Scott (The Office: "Sexual Harassment")

Next topic: Jail

[crazydaizy3]

"The problem is, gangs in prison are divided up like my Dad's sock drawer....by color. I was too white to join the Latino gang, the Asian gang or the Black gang and not white enough to join the Albino gang. So, I went with the only gang that might take me. The White Supremacists. Which meant unlearning what every after school special had taught me. Don't be yourself." -Earl Hickey My Name is Earl: "My Name Is Inmate 28301-016"

Next topic: alcoholism

[CaffeinatedTV]

Meredith: In five years, I'd like to be five years sober.
Jan: That is an excellent goal.
Meredith: Four and a half!
(The Office: "Boys and Girls)

Next topic: conspiracy

[samsnee]

I have a feeling we're going to see a lot of Simpsons/Office quotes:

Homer: Lenny and Carl are never around on Wednesday, and they never tell me where they are going . It's like a conspiracy or something.
Bart: A conspiracy, eh? Do you think they were involved in the Kennedy assassination in some way.
Homer: I do... now.

adultery

[crazydaizy3]

"So I go upstairs, as I'm walking down the hall I try to prepare myself for what I'm going to see when I walk into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I know...just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize, what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just going to see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm going to see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend.... I walked out, flew out to Seattle."
-Derek Shepherd, Grey's Anatomy "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head"

Next topic: one night stands

Edited by crazydaizy3, May 28, 2008 @ 10:34 PM.

[CaffeinatedTV]

Pam: Michael and Jan definitely made out, maybe more.
Jim: Ooh...ach!
(The Office: "Performance Review")

Next topic: dancing

Edited by CaffeinatedTV, May 28, 2008 @ 11:53 PM.

[Tabbyclaw]

"But I don't know how to dance!"
"Can you wiggle your finger?"
"Yeah..."
"Then you know how to dance in an old cartoon!"
(Timmy and Grandpa, The Fairly Oddparents)

Next topic: understatement

Edited by Tabbyclaw, May 29, 2008 @ 12:02 AM.

[CaffeinatedTV]

"You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundees are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you." - Pam Beesley
(The Office: "The Dundees")

Next topic: metaphor

Edited by CaffeinatedTV, May 29, 2008 @ 12:23 AM.

[crazydaizy3]

-"Men are like cabs, when their available their light goes on. They awake one day and decide their ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. Next woman they pickup, boom, that' the one they'll marry. It's not fate, it's dumb luck."
-"I'm sorry, I refuse to believe that love is at random."
-"Please, it's all about timing. You gotta get em, when their lights on."
-"All the men I meet are flashing yellows."
-"Or off duty. They can drive around for years picking up women and not be available."
-"Then, they really shouldn't be allowed to get behind the wheel."

-Sex and The City "The Big Time"

Next topic: revenge

[samsnee]

Revenge is a dish best served cold

-Old Klingon proverb

Graduation

[tashiann11]

"Donna Martin graduates! Donna Martin graduates!"
- A Cast Of Hundreds from 3.28 Something in the Air, Beverly Hills 90210

Sex

[The Mad Maple]

Barney: So Robin?
Robin: Yes, Barney?
Barney: Guess who nailed the chick from Metro News One last night!

How I Met Your Mother, Season 3, Episode 17: "The Goat"


The Democratic Nomination

[tashiann11]

Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch.
Let me say something about that: Yeah, she is
And so am I and so is this one. (pointing to Amy Poehler)
POEHLER: Yeah, deal with it.
FEY: Know what? Bitches get stuff done.
Like back in grammar school, they could have had priests teaching you but, no, they had those tough old nuns who slept on cots and who could hit ya and you HATED those bitches But at the end of the school year you sure KNEW the capital of Vermont!
So COME ON Texas and Ohio Get on board, it’s not too late!…BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK!

Tina Fey - Saturday Night Live

Next topic: Futility

Edited by tashiann11, May 29, 2008 @ 7:45 AM.

[The Mad Maple]

Is it any wonder I can't get a Section Eight? In this unit, if you want to be crazy you gotta stand in line.

Klinger, from M*A*S*H (Season 5, Episode 13, "Hawk's Nightmare")


Canada/US Relations.

[Treppie]

Inspector Moffat: Image, Constable, that's what we're talking about here. The basis of all diplomatic relations is not who you are but who the other side thinks you are. Now, I've worked very hard creating an image of Canadians we can all be proud of.
Benton Fraser: Yes, Sir.
Inspector Moffat: You on the other hand have been doing everything in your power to wreak havoc on that image.
Benton Fraser: Sir?
Inspector Moffat: All this do-gooding, Constable! Picking up litter, rescuing kittens, saving people's lives ... what sort of message do you suppose that sends to the Americans?
Benton Fraser: That we care, Sir?
Inspector Moffat: Exactly! And people don't fear people who care!
Benton Fraser: I'm sorry, Sir. I wasn't aware that we want Americans to fear us.

(Due South, "An Invitation to Romance")

Next topic: The food chain

Edited by Treppie, May 29, 2008 @ 8:48 AM.

[CaffeinatedTV]

Damn. Didn't notice there was another post in there. Everyone just go about your business...

Edited by CaffeinatedTV, May 29, 2008 @ 10:04 AM.

[avocado]

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

(The Simspons, Lisa the Vegetarian)

Next Topic: Marriage

Edited by avocado, May 29, 2008 @ 10:10 AM.

[mdew]

Harken: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?
Zoe: Fought with a lot of people in the war.
Harken: And your husband?
Zoe: Fight with him sometimes, too.

Alliance Commander Harken and Zoe, Firefly "Bushwhacked"

[Next topic: Romance}

Edited by mdew, May 29, 2008 @ 10:49 AM.

[crazydaizy3]

"No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat! I want romance! Damn it, I want to feel like a freaking lady!"
-Meredith Grey Grey's Anatomy "Sometimes A Fantasy"

Next topic: college

[tashiann11]

Lorelai: Rory took a break from Yale.
Christopher: And the apocalypse is this week? Next week?

Gilmore Girls

Next up: Untimely Death

[getbusychild]

Buffy: Was it sudden?
Tara: No. Well, yes...it's always sudden.

(Buffy, "The Body")

Next topic: Public drunkeness

[PhantomChic]

SIMON: You know, we'd all just made surgeon. That was it. We were the elite. The world was ours, you know?
KAYLEE: So-so you had to be naked?
SIMON: Naked. Yes. And, uh, on top of the statue of Hippocrates. Can you just picture me?
KAYLEE: What, naked? Oh, well, hmm. Let's see. I'm gonna have to conjure up a... Yeah, that's-that's gonna be difficult. So, the Feds come?
SIMON: Mm-mm. There were no Feds. Until I started singing.
KAYLEE: What did you sing?
SIMON: This is not funny. This is a morality tale about the evils of sake.
(Firefly, "Objects In Space")

Next topic: Practical Jokes

[LostinFlight]

Sam: It's stupid, and it always escalates.
Dean: Aww, what's the matter Sammy? Afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again?

(Supernatural, "Hell House")

Next Topic: Enemies

[fay]

Buffy: Okay. You do remember that you're a vampire, right?
Spike: We like to talk big. Vampires do. 'I'm going to destroy the world.' That's just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Piccadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You know what I'm saying?
Buffy: Okay, fine. You're not down with Angel. Why would you ever come to me?

Next topic: Dancing

[SideshowJed]

CHUCK: Awesome only taught me the girl part.

Next Topic: Faith

[varcinie]

From 30 Rock:

Tracy: (at the Church of Practicology with electrodes attached to his head) I believe the moon doesn't exist. I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers but their curse is that they'll never get to prove it! I believe there are 31 letters in the white alphabet. Well...what was the question again?
(back in present)
Tracy: So what's your religion Liz Lemon?
Liz: I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.

Next Topic: Pets

[bethy]

Scully: Nature's calling, I think we should pull over.
Mulder: Did you really have to bring that thing?
Scully: You wake me up on a Saturday morning, tell me to be ready in five minutes, my mother's out of town, all of the dog sitters are booked and you know how I feel about kennels. So, unless you want to lose your security deposit on the car, I suggest you pull over.
(X-Files, Quamire)

Next Topic: Summer vacation

[Saradactyl]

Gossip Girl: They say a leopard can't change his spots. But some things do change. The path not taken can become a road trip. Being grounded can lead to something groundbreaking. And whether they're sweating it out on the sultry sidewalks or cooling their heels in the Hamptons, no one does summer like New Yorkers. Grab your shades and your sunblock. This one looks like a scorcher. Until next time. You know you love me. XOXO Gossip Girl (Much 'I Do' About Nothing)

Waffles

Edited by Saradactyl, May 29, 2008 @ 4:04 PM.

[crazydaizy3]

"I’m trying, Liz Lemon, but I can’t concentrate. Somebody on my block is making waffles, and it’s making me horny."
-Tracy 30 Rock "Somebody To Love"

Next topic: New York