42 replies to this topic

[HotBlooded]

Some of the other shows have a similar thread, so I figured it was time to start one over here. It works like this: One person makes a wish. Another person grants the wish but twists it.
For example, Person A says:I wish Dr. Spaceman would meet Dr. Nick from the Simpsons. Person B says: Granted! But they together realize what crackpots they are and go to real medical school, promptly realizing that medicine isn't something to be toyed with. As a result, both The Simpsons and 30 Rock are ruined.

I will start with the first wish. I wish that Jack would take Liz on a corporate retreat to teach her the ways of Six Sigma.

Edited by HotBlooded, Jan 27, 2008 @ 2:55 AM.

[i know a roy]

Granted! But Geiss throws her out when Liz drunks dials him one evening.

I wish that Jenna gets an another age-inappropriate boyfriend.

[jennisaurusrex]

Granted, ikar!

But then we find out just how "inappropriately" aged the boyfriend is, and Jenna gets arrested for statutory rape.

I wish that Floyd moved back from Cleveland and started dating Liz again.

[Bachmann]

Granted! But Floyd's new job as NBC H.R. compliance officer allows him to peek at Liz's file - and he sees something personally distressing.

I wish that Kenneth hooks up with Don Geiss' daughter.

[i know a roy]

Granted! When Kenneth graduates from PG to PG-13 with Geiss' daughter, he discovers that Devon left behind a closed-circuit system! Devon then uses the tapes to blackmail Kenneth!

I wish that Ceries loses a bet to Frank.

[jennisaurusrex]

Granted! But she has to make out with him and vomits all over the table, ruining the scripts for the next week's show.

I wish Jack convinced Liz to train for the NYC Marathon with him.

[HotBlooded]

Done! But when Jack has another heart attack, Phoebe's his emergency contact.

I wish that Jack's mom would move to New York.

Edited by HotBlooded, Jan 29, 2008 @ 10:20 PM.

[i know a roy]

Granted! Colleen moves to NY, and Jack's love life reaches its all-time nadir.

I wish that we could follow Grizz and Dotcom for a whole day.

[Inquisitionist]

Granted! But we get caught in the cross-fire with Ridikolus's posse.

I wish that Prince Gerhardt hadn't drunk the champagne.

[HotBlooded]

Granted! But then Jenna meets another cute guy and Gerhardt is so heartbroken that he dies anyway.

I wish that Maxim decided to do the Twenty Funniest (And Hottest) Female Comedy Writers spread. And they picked Liz as their number one.

Edited by HotBlooded, Feb 15, 2008 @ 4:11 PM.

[i know a roy]

Granted! But Rosemary is #3 (Jen Celotta from The Office is #2).

I wish that I could work on the marketing campaign for "Jefferson," starring Tracy Jordan.

[HotBlooded]

Granted! But then Jefferson gets early buzz about being nominated for an Oscar and Don Geiss wants NBC's best people on it. You get fired. Apologies.

I wish that Kenneth sold another (actually somewhat-workable) show to NBC.

[i know a roy]

Granted! Kenneth sells "Sodomized!" a reality gameshow about the trials of living in NYC making minimum wage. Kenneth plays the Trump-esque leader, who leads players into game situations (fun!) sends contestants back to the farm (on the midnight train) and declares the winner (the pimp) at the end of the season.

I wish that Rachel Dratch returns as Mrs. Dr. Spaceman.

[Bachmann]

Granted! But no one can keep a straight face when she is introduced by her hyphenated last name: Ivana Black-Spaceman.

I wish that Grizz and Beth would hook up.

[HotBlooded]

Granted! But Liz does something that scars Grizz again and he leaves, never to be seen again.

I wish Jon Stewart would guest host TGS.

[i know a roy]

Granted! But Conan O'Brien stops by and a fight breaks out about "who made whom" and Colbert in a bear costume scares them off, scampering back to late night.

I wish that Jack considers replacing Jenna with Mariah Carey.

[HotBlooded]

Bump!
But Mariah Carey begs Kenneth to touch her body, which drives Kenneth away, causing NBC to fall into disrepair. Oh dear.

I wish that there was an entire episode devoted to Jack and Liz trading barbs.

[i know a roy]

Granted! The season 2 finale, "Love in an Elevator" finds Liz in her wedding dress, on her way to marrying Floyd but her limo is derailed to 30Rock where Jack needs to her urgently attend to his needs for the impending board meeting for Chairmanship of NBC. They get stuck on the elevator and Liz accuses Jack of conspiracy to keep her from The Cleve. cliffhanger! Will they or won't they get it on?

I wish that more people posted in here. Ooops. Wait hold on. I wish that we get to go with Frank to the place he buys his hats.

[HotBlooded]

I'll corrupt them both!
Wish 1: More people post in here, but they're all bad fanfiction writers. The thread ends up looking like this: "OMG, so i wish jck an Lizzie would have LOTS AND LOTS OF BABIEZ. hee hee hee."
Wish 2: The place where he buys his hats is located in the center of a Hot Topic. Have fun with that.

I wish that for some magical reason, the new episodes of 30 Rock multiplied so that we could have an episode every night rather than once a week. Then people discover how amazing it is and 30 Rock becomes ten times as popular as Friends ever was.

[i know a roy]

Granted! 30Rock jumps into Super High Production Mode and produces 60 shows a year, even more than a 1960’s Batman episode order. NBC runs the show continuously for 12 weeks straight, M-F. Unheard of! TV Guide, if it still existed, would have 10 page pull out front covers with the cast, for every week. Then, MILF Island spins off and runs twice a week. Are you stronger than a Dog? becomes a Saturday night sensation and people stay home to cheer on their favorite mutt. Hilary utters the word “Blergh” during the Presidential Debates. The “WWJDD” phrase becomes the hot bumper sticker, referring of course to “What would Jack Donaghy do?” American Idol has a “sing like Jenna Maroney” week following the success of the 30 Rock spin-off movie, "Mystic Pizza The Musical Movie." 30 Rock becomes such a huge sensation, the backlash comes on harsher than a Juno hamburger phone.

I wish for a "Josh becomes a Scientologist" storyline.

[NoirCommeMoi]

Granted! But then Tom Cruise mounts a publicity campaign against NBC on the whole and 30 Rock in particular, causing Alec Baldwin to be caught on camera calling Cruise a "blowhard, of the gay variety." After the footage airs on TMZ and becomes public knowledge, Tom Cruise secretely gives the "attack" signal to all of Hollywood's heavy hitting Scientologists by arranging for a photo of Katie Holmes and Suri with new matching new haircuts to run in the Style section of the L.A. Times.

Days later Alec Baldwin is found dead in his apartment, and a scandal ensues after photos of Nixon, Bush, and Reagan on found on the walls of his walk in closet.

Cause of death is never determined.

I wish Liz Lemon would meet Tina Fey, and Tina Fey would be played by Angie Harmon.

Edited by NoirCommeMoi, Apr 9, 2008 @ 2:52 PM.

[i know a roy]

Granted! Liz Lemon discovers that Tina Fey sounds like someone who can give Devon a run for the money in the talking like this contests.

(I actually like Angie Harmon a lot, but she could be the movie narrator guy in the next series of Geico commercials. And, I think she'd look darn cute in Liz Lemon-style glasses. YMMV.)

I wish we could see Liz, Jack and ... Dennis, as contestants on Jeopardy!

[DeeCee]

Granted! But Liz and Jack are humiliated when only Dennis knows the answer to Final Jeopardy: "What is a Rat King?"

I wish that Don Geiss orders Liz Lemon to write the screenplay for Fat Bitch 2.

[HotBlooded]

Granted. Liz realizes that it's so much easier to just write utter crap like Fat Bitch 2 so she decides just to do that. As a result, no more Girlie Show, and by extension, no more 30 Rock. Way to go.

I wish that Don Geiss decides to name Liz as his successor.

[i know a roy]

Mission Accomplished! Liz Lemon becomes the new Geiss. But Jack is a shell of a man, the lack of promotion stings too much, his mother berates him endlessly, he loses the corner office, and he starts drinking and eating red meat again, making his heart shrink 2 sizes too small. He starts a second life as a AM radio sportscaster, which is where all misers end up.

I wish that Flight of the Conchords visits as musical guests on TGS.

[HotBlooded]

Granted! Ashlee Simpson, take two.
(For anyone living under a rock, they lip sync, but the track doesn't match up, and they all come off looking like idiots.)

I wish that Jon Stewart guest starred (as a character, not himself) as a multi-episode love interest for Liz Lemon.

[i know a roy]

Granted! Jon Stewart is hired as a marketing consultant for TGS, because Jack thinks there is not enough product placement on the show, besides the Trump Apprentice Fart Machine. Stewart and Lemon trade barbs, and it leads to trading spit. Alas, it's not to be, there's some issue with sex. Just not meant to be, HotBlooded and JS, heartbroken, buys Jack's timeshare in Port Arthur Texas to get far away from Liz.

I wish that Jenna starts a relationship with one of the writers.

ETA: tangent-

NoirCommeMoi-Days later Alec Baldwin is found dead in his apartment, and a scandal ensues after photos of Nixon, Bush, and Reagan on found on the walls of his walk in closet.

So, Alec has played Nixon. 1 down, 2 to go!

Edited by i know a roy, Apr 21, 2008 @ 4:32 PM.

[jennisaurusrex]

I wish that Jenna starts a relationship with one of the writers.

Granted, but it's Frank, and Jenna starts letting her roots grow in and wearing trucker hats every day.

I wish Liz would star in one of the skits she writes for TGS.

[i know a roy]

Liz has to step in for Josh in Ray Romano Meets Illeana Douglas' Stand-In. She has to choose which role to play. Blergh.

ETA: I wish we can see Dr. Spaceman wearing these glasses (see #12)

Edited by i know a roy, May 25, 2008 @ 1:26 PM.

[i know a roy]

bump