124 replies to this topic

[anneofcleves]

Easy Indian

Inspired by the exotic flavors of India: today's menu is full of pleasing textures, flavors and colors. First, a light and chilled Cucumber Yogurt Dip with Pita Chips is a refreshing starter. Then, Sandra whips up a tender marinated Tandoori Chicken with a garlic and ginger kick. On the side, a delicious Cashew Rice with Golden Raisins and unbelievably easy Curried Grilled Eggplant.

Airs today at 10:00 am.

Whoot!

[Jadzia81]

Ah, the intro explains the Greek/Indian blend. She's making foods "from the East." Ha! I was right! Greece and India are to the East of the US, so they're like the same.

Nope, never would have thought of putting butter in rice. No one does that.

And, remarkable, it seems that chicken skin is basically fat. I never would have known that either!

Light and fluffy? That rice looks like a dry and horrid nightmare.

The eggplant melts in your mouth? Literally? WHOOT! NEW EQUIVALENT! EGGPLANT <---> M&Ms

OMG. I knew she'd do it. She has no idea that these are all separate cuisines. They're all "exotic." So you blend the sesame oil and the curry powder and the Greek seasoning. Right.

That sesame oil is gonna BURN, BABY, BURN on the grill.

I call BS. Nothing in this world really goes with yogurt and vodka. Especially not curry covered stale whole wheat pitas.

Wait a minute. To go with the theme, shouldn't her tablescape be full of curry colors, not paprika colors?

Whoot! I think I've gotten her thought process down. Scary. Paprika colored tablescape. Paprika is used in one of those funky cuisines made by the people who live east of the US. The east is exotic. It's a country full of cities like Greece, India and Thailand. And they use lots of curry over there in the east, too. WAH LAH! Eastern exotic cuisine full of curry powder, like those people in IndiaGreece make.

And she's just proven my point, with a new equivalent too. cilantro = eastern people parsley

She's right, there are seeds in a seedless cucumber. But I've never found them any more or less delish than the rest of the cucumber.

The cucumber dip is NARSTY!

So cumin is now peppery? That makes me want to see Rachel Ray go up and bitch slap her, saying "cumin is smokey, bitch."

What was the point of the frozen/canned peach mix? Why not just use frozen peaches and peach nectar?

Do you guys see the menu card? She calls it the "Paprika Dinner Menu." Even though there is no paprika. Oh my god! I might really have been right about her thought process above. Now I'm scared! Someone hold me!

[PreviouslyAmish]

I'm dying to show this show's arrrusippees to the guy who owns the Indian restaurant in town, but I'm afraid he'll ban me for life.

Her fauxplanation of stock versus broth was just plain wrong.

What was up with the VO around garam masala? That was hilarious!

Well fuck me senseless, did she just call turmeric "tumor-ick"?

Is she saying "re-furj-erator"? I think she is.

"Aig-plant" = BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! And they are going to taste like such shit because she didn't peel, nor salt and drain them. Seriously? My 10-year old neighbor knows you need to do that. So she didn't salt and drain them, AND added oil? I cannot WAIT (for that watermelon fizz) for the Fandras to do this dish. F'ntastic!

Sesame "oal"? Klassy.

Did she say that her tableskape would be "full of paprika colors"? WHAT!?

"Cilantro is like parsely for countries of the east." Brilliant, just brilliant.

Oh yeah, the "baby seeds" in English cucumbers are "absolutely delicious." She high.

Cumin is neither peppery nor nutty. She still high.

"It is some beautiful koktail." She doesn't have her GED, does she? I mean really.

That tableskape was beyond hideous. There are no words. What's a grape-footed jewel-toned bowl?

1981 called. They want their tablecloth back.

So, she called this the "Paprika Dinner Menu" on the placecard but "Easy Indian" on the episode description. That makes sense.

Those kandles..... what the fuck.

[cissyboo]

Three words...."Paprika Dinner Menu."

[rosiehawthorne]

Oh crap. I forgot everything was unwired so I'm not recording this one plus I have workmen here. I turned it on just in time to see Shiny Sandy do the bait and switch she's so fond of: To paraphrase: "If you like guacamole and chips, then I've got a treat for you. Pita and cucumber dip." Gotta love that Sandylogic.

[ubiquitous]

After watching SLop manage to not use a single measuring cup or spoon this week, electing instead to dump them directly out of the container, I had a strange revelation. Is she doing this because The Wallet is no longer around to clean up the kitchen for her?

What the hell are "paprika colors"?

Who else thought SLop put shotglasses on top of those big-ass candle pedastools?

[RobertBlue]

All I can say about this episode is DAMN! Those were some HUGE slices of egg plant.

Well, that, and what the hell is wrong with her? Sour cream and cucumbers is delicious. Cucumbers and yogurt? No. Non-Fat sour cream with non-fat yogurt and cucumbers? It's because she's drunk, right?

[PreviouslyAmish]

RobertBlue, drunk and also a part-time model for Kohl's.

[orchidgal]

So the round head fasteners are like thumbtacks with legs? Smart Sandy.

SLop picked out the fabric at the fabric store. I wouldn't know how she would get it home other wise. Perhaps it chose her?

The tablescape is the usual overkill. One of two of those things might be okay; but everything together?

I seriously have to watch this again as I was somewhat distracted during the airing.

But I can say that I can't stand that white slip(?) peeking out from the hem of the satin shirt.

[bizook]

- Yes, that slip poking out of the available-at-Macy's-everywhere-ornj-satin-blouse-to-match-the-theme was soooo tacky.

- I'd use a measuring spoon with the paperika. Too easy to accidentally dump out a shitload of it if you do it her way, then the fauxd is ruined....wait - that's a GOOD thing. And SLop is not using the measuring spoons much at all these days; is she trying to get some cooking "cred" that way?

- India still has The Bomb, right? Right?? shit....

[PreviouslyAmish]

You know, if there's one thing I hope the Fandras take away from this episode and use in their everyday kooking, is that you can use cilantro instead of parsley whenever you want, because according to Snads, they are pretty much the same thing.

- Yes, that slip poking out of the available-at-Macy's-everywhere-ornj-satin-blouse-to-match-the-theme was soooo tacky.

I'm sure it was one of her Sassybax camis she so obviously hyped in that NYT article from a few months ago. Having a cami show beneath the top shirt hem is fine. When you're 11 and not quite ready for a bra but in need of an extra layer. When you're *cough*gack*41*sputter*cough, it's not okay. What I wouldn't give for Tim Gunn and Gordon Ramsay to be let loose on Aunt Sandy.

[anneofcleves]

Her new recipes just don't excite me as much as her old ones. Yeah, she has bizarre combinations like Greek-style dip with Indian food, but I miss the seasoning packets and the Cool-whip and the whack-a-biscuit. {/grieving}

The tanDOHree chicken is, I'm afraid, going to be fairly dull and fllllllavorless. No heat. No salt. Bleh.

The lassi looked gagtastic as did the tableskape.

Have we seen this ornj shirt before? It looked familiar.

[Greecelover]

I just couldn't bring myself to watch today. Am I still a shrike?

[Cherrybomb]

Maybe I'm a nit-picky nerd, but it bothered me to watch her slice each pita in the least efficient way possible. She made like, seven slices per pita. She couldn't stack them and make it easier?

[TexasTallGal]

Maybe I'm a nit-picky nerd, but it bothered me to watch her slice each pita in the least efficient way possible. She made like, seven slices per pita. She couldn't stack them and make it easier?

That bugged me, too.

I always learn something new when I watch her show. Did you know that cilantro is the parsley of 'the East'?

[CheerfulHamster]

Cucumber and yogurt makes a delicious sauce/dip (raita) when done correctly. Aunt Sandy made it for her other Indian epi. With the whack-a-breadstick naan.

Can someone please explain to me why the stupid cow went out of her way to call her aaaaaarucipes "FROM THE EAST" and not from "India?" She used the word "India" only once or twice (and one was with that gagalicious canned peach/vodka drink).

The grill marks on her chicken looked like MV applied them with a Sharpie marker. They were too black and perfect.

Aunt Sandy's breasts are now protruding from not from her chest but from her abdomen, atop where most women's liver lies within. Is some strange natural protective mechanism her body is demonstrating? Breasts moving down to liver to encase them in an effort to ward off ill effects of cocktail time? Or is ths just an unfortunate side effect of her enhancement? Does her surgeon have a lot of insurance?

Edited to add that I almost wet myself laughing at her shredding the cucumber with that box grater. The harsh manual labor involved was clearly very stressful for her. Imagine what her Fandras will think about it. It came as no surprise that she apologized so profusely to them for including such a debilitating chore in her aaaaarucipe.

Edited by CheerfulHamster, Sep 22, 2007 @ 11:43 AM.

[VNutt]

Today, for some reason, all I could focus on was the order in which she did things.

So.... start cooking the minute rice and chicken. That's done. Now make the veggie side, while the starch and main get cold on you. While that cooks, start making the appetizer. Then make the cocktail. So, the time guests arrive, the cocktails will be cold, the appetizer will be room temp (edit to add.... and, it'll be all soupy and watery by then since Sands didn't drain the cucumber at all), and the main meal that has been sitting on the counter for 30 minutes will be as cold as ice. Attenshun to detail!!!!

Whoot... Sandys mad cutting skillz as she chopped the eggplant and the pita. And yes, I do make whole wheat pita chips for parties a lot of the time, and yes, when you don't have MV behind the scenes doing all the real work, you cut them a few at a time unless you want to be cutting pita all night.

Sandy lies! Sandy lies!! Yes, there is a way to get pre-grated cucumber at the store, already in yogurt. And at least in the Chicago area, there are some makers of "gyros sandwich kits" at the reg'lar groshury store, and they also sell pre-made tzatziki. And RobertBlue, as long as it's good greek-style yogurt, cucumber and yogurt is delicious. I actually drive for 15 minutes, past at least 4 other places that serve gyros, to go to one place that uses greek yogurt in their tzatziki.

Edited by VNutt, Sep 22, 2007 @ 11:49 AM.

[cal331]

VNutt, Sandy's order of cooking everything boggles my mind every week. Say what you will about RayRay, she at least has her entire meal hot and ready by the end of the episode. Sandy seems to cook in alphabetical order, or something. Actually, she cooks things in the order they will be consumed, thus screwing everything up.

And I agree about tzatziki; there's a Greek restaurant near me that does an absolutely delish tzatziki. Yum.

After watching SLop manage to not use a single measuring cup or spoon this week, electing instead to dump them directly out of the container, I had a strange revelation. Is she doing this because The Wallet is no longer around to clean up the kitchen for her?

Well, she did use cutlery teaspoons to measure something. I wondered if her measuring utensils took off (and the cups ran away with the spoons!)

I was about ready to strangle her for her lllllllllllllllllllllllll abuse today.

[PepLV]

While listening out of the corner of my ear while cleaning, did I just hear her say "This is some juicy cucumber, huh?" Forget Semi....she has graduated to Full-blown Ho. Tee-hee.

[cal331]

One other thing...how many arussipees has she done with instant rice cooked in broth (sorry, stock) with nuts and dried fruit? The fact that they look nasty is beside the point...it's like her go-to side dish now every time she thinks she's cooking some other culture's cuisine. So unimaginative, so wrong. If she spent as much time on her food as she did on her tacky tablesckapes, she might at least come up with some new dishes for us to revile her for.

[orchidgal]

she might at least come up with some new dishes for us to revile her for.

But creating new arrussippees is hard work.

Would really have been so hard for Sandy to have pre-drained the cucumber and the yogurt? And then she could have made MV grate the horrible cucumbers too.

[cissyboo]

I was about ready to strangle her for her lllllllllllllllllllllllll abuse today.

Llllushious! What was the item that was lllushious? I can't remember...
No Greek seasoning in the dip, or on the chips. she used curry powder instead. Was anything on this show what the recipe said? Other than the SLoptail.

[addicted_aardvark]

Line best heard not watching the screen: "Take your thighs and put them right in here"

Predictable - "cocktail time" is mentioned less than 15 minutes into the episode - the pita chips go great with cocktail time.

What's up with them having to show her (painfully and slowly and, yes as said, incredibly annoyingly) cutting every single piece of pita, and every slice of aigplant, as well as brushing and seasoning every slice of eggplant on each side?? With long silences while she concentrated on the difficult task and the annoying chord played repeatedly. Usually they show us the first two and the last. Must've messed up or openly plagiarized her other arussipee, so they had to fill.

Weird VOs again today, including the one about the garam masala and the "adds nice texture" about the garlic. <-- I didn't know that, btw, thanks Snads.

I am offended that the closed caption people have apparently been instructed to translate Sandy-ese into cooking terminology.

The raisins are "plump and juicy". Well, they *are* if you add them to cooking liquid before the item is done. But if you add cashews and raisins immediately before serving, they both are cold, and only as plump/juicy as they were in the container. (Snads alternative: soak them in brandy or alkyhal while the rice is kooking!)

VNutt - thanks for that link about the Fage tzatziki. I'm not sure if the place I shop carries it, because I always just grab the yogurt; I'll have to look next time. But, Fage probably wouldn't let Snads use their product anyhow.

Both of the 'skapes were disgusting today. The kitchenskape was way patched together. Yes, a paprika-red pllllate in the corner by the microwave. But the 80s also want their kurtain krapt back. And the faux flowers in the other room; reminded me of some campy faux funeral or something. (And I was hoping for the return of the two funerary urns on the table; instead we got those aptly described "big-ass candle pedastools". ubi - I instead thought about the lit votive candles crashing down INto the skape if the table was bumped.

Jadzia81 - "Paprika Dinner Menu". Yes I did see it, but my brain refused to let it sink in. But why not do Hungary or something for a paprika menu?? Oh, forgot. She was thinking color, not use of food.

And yes, these arussipees aren't as entertaining a train wreck as her earlier ones. But - she does throw in some pretty bizarre costumes or themes instead, which may make up for it.

[kishisan]

That was the palest tandoori chicken I have ever seen (not that I expect anyone to have a built-in tandoor). The meal was named after the paprika, I guess, because that "fandoori" marinade for the main dish was the only thing she added paprika to? But then she herself has admitted that she starts from the outfit and the day-cor and works her way backwards (so to speak) to the food.

I too loved the apoplectic "I'm sorry to be the one to inform you ... there's no pre-grated cucumber at the grocery store!" Too bad she hadn't said the same thing about pre-sliced eggplant.

Her penmanship ain't so great either; I couldn't tell if that placecard was for Jeff or Tess.

Well, I'm sufficiently inspired by the exotic ways of the East. I'm gonna go pick up a falafel for lunch.

(I'm watching "Bad Santa" and Billy Bob just served the kid a slab of fried bologna on a slice of white bread, saying, "Here, it's like a tostada." Bad SLoppy Santa!)

[Newfoodie82]

At least she didn't say "this will take just MINUTES." That got on my nerves the last time.

Hahahahaha...did anyone catch one eggplant slice making a mad dash for it off the cutting board?? I laughed my ass off. At least I'm pretty sure it was a eggplant slice...well let's just say it was, cause it's funny.

As she started grating the cuke, I thought "what? You couldn't get pre-grated cuke at the groshry store?" and right then, she goes "Unfortunately, there's no pre-grated cuke...." Idiot.

She's a lush "Best time of the day!!"

Why is it that everytime she introduces herself, it sounds like she's saying "Hi I'm Sanrrraaa Lee." Is she so drunk that she can't even get a 'd' sound in there? Oh wait, yes she is.

[mkd]

I haven't even watched this one yet, but I'm sitting here cracking up, reading the comments. She makes it too easy, doesn't she? Now I have to watch it, just to see.

[orchidgal]

At least she didn't say "this will take just MINUTES."

Or even better(?): 'Llllliterally minutes'. Cause I really hate dealing with figurative minutes.

I REALLY want to know how much that tablescape cost. That huge faux boo-kay could not have been cheap. And I am glad that I wasn't the only one imagining the glass votives sliding off the pillars of doom.

[CheerfulHamster]

PAPRIKA. DINNER. MENU.

[cissyboo]

PAPRIKA. DINNER. MENU.

Because it can't be said often enough! WHOOT!!

[rosiehawthorne]

I LOOOOOOVE YOU DANNNNNIELLLLLLE!

OT?

PAPRIKA. DINNER. MENU.

Edited by rosiehawthorne, Sep 22, 2007 @ 3:53 PM.