198 replies to this topic

[The Mad Maple]

Here's the spot for those choice quotes that Carter and Bayes keep getting these guys to say. F'r instance:

Barney: "My nose isn't running. It's just overflowing with awesomeness, and it had to come out."

Ted: "Did you have to laugh like that every time?"
Robin (flatly): "Every time." *drinks*

[fuzzbear]

From Miss Alli's awesome weecap:
Barney: "Your hand is monstrous."
Marshall: "Well, what would you expect? You've seen my penis."

Edited by fuzzbear, Sep 14, 2007 @ 6:06 PM.

[jkalderash]

Ted: "Did you have to laugh like that every time?"
Robin (flatly): "Every time." *drinks*

She actually says "Yes." I wouldn't be picky (OK, I would) but it's the most awesome deadpan delivery.

Also from that scene: "So, just to be clear... you wanted everybody to go to the mall today?"

[surfsup79]

Moving Day also very many good quotes:

"Suits and sneakers? A little Ellen Degeneres but you pull it off." Hee!

"I'm not Barney, but I hear that guy's awesome"

Robin: I'm not wearing any makeup right now
Barney: Holy crap you're beautiful!

Marshall (talking about the sword): You're gonna need this
Robin: It's true. My building is infested with dragons.

[nme525]

This one gets me every damn time:

Lily: On Monday I'm going to have to tell my kindergarten class, who I tell not to run with scissors, how my fiancee ran me through with a broadsword.
Marshall: Technically, it didn't go all the way through.
Lily: I'm sorry, were we having a discussion about the degree to which you stabbed me?

[Llamaface]

Barney: "Where most people's shame gland is, I have a second awesome gland. True story."

[really91]

I don't even remember the episode or the context, just the line itself.

Barney: "When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead."

[amikaro]

College!Ted: My parents live in Ohio. I live in the moment.

College!Ted: My spectacles!!

College!Marshall: I'm sorry about your spectacles.
College!Ted: It's ok, they were decorative.

Edited by amikaro, Sep 14, 2007 @ 8:03 PM.

[StevieLily]

Robin, acting as Lily's pre-wedding eating coach:

"Are you going to cry? You're going to cry? Skinny little baby's going to cry?? Eat, damnit, eat!"

[filwdork]

Barney: "Spoiler Alert! The robot falls in love."

[NoNeinNyet]

Another great Slap Bet quote:

Lily: Marshall's never been to the Pacific Northwest, because he's afraid of Sasquatch.
Marshall: I'm not afraid of Sasquatch, I just think we should all be on alert.

That whole sequence of what Lily knows about Marshall is great. Alyson Hannigan's delivery is spot on. Never would have guessed that HIMYM would be the show to improve her acting ability so greatly.

[amikaro]

Barney: Our, friend, Robin, used to do, porn -- wait for it! -- ography
Ted: Yeah, we didn't really have to wait for that one.

[ember mecca]

Ted: You lit me on FIRE!?
Barney: Real suede wouldn't have gone up as fast. You got robbed; this is a blend.
Ted: YOU...SET ME...ON FIRE.

[fairy76]

Ah, so many good ones!

From the Pinapple Incident:

Drunk Ted: "I drank all five, bitch!"

Drunk Ted again: "...and now, I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom"

even drunker Ted: "How easy do you think it would be to get into the zoo? I gotta see some penguins like, right now!"

[Femvamp]

Moving Day:

Marshall: I think we can marry each other, but we also have to marry Ted.
Lily: I'm telling you right now, my dad is not going to pay for that wedding.

Something Blue:

Robin: You stole the blue French horn for me.
Ted: I would have stolen you a whole orchestra.

[kathrynann]

Another from The Pineapple Incident:

Drunk Ted: Go to my stables and take my finest stallion! He's yours, his name is Wingjammer!

[insanityjones]

From the episode that made me fell hopelessly in love:

Marshall:Damn it, Trudy, what about the pineapple?!

[Llamaface]

Damn it, Trudy, what about the pineapple?!

My best friend made me a shirt with that line on it, alongside a (what else?) giant pineapple.

And, on topic, from 'How Lily Stole Christmas':

Barney: You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story.

[DanaMB]

Hee! I love Barney.

I can't get enough of "True story." and "Please."

[VGMan]

From the otherwise pointless Matchmaker episode:

Lily: Don't Ted-out about it.
Ted: Did you just use my name as a verb?
Barney: Oh, yeah, we do that behind your back. "Ted-out": to overthink. See also "Ted-up". "Ted-up": to overthink with disastrous consequences. For example, "Billy Tedded-up when he-"
Ted: All right, I get it!

[emjay1116]

Barney: I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment.


Marshall: If by 'like the Loch Ness Monster' you mean 'totally exists and is awesome' then yeah.
(or something like that. I don't remember exactly)


Frickin' tannens.


Barney: Haaaaave ya met Ted?

[Gracelessly]

Ted: We love naked girls. They're one of the best things in the world. It goes: naked girls, democracy, the scene in Every Which Way But Loose where the monkey gives the guy the finger.

[kinkyprude]

Ted (though we can't hear him): I got kicked out of Sea World for humping a dolphin!

Marshall: Nooot awkward. Not awkward unless we let it be awkward. (This has become my go to for getting out situations that are a little...awkward.)

[Araes]

So many great ones, probably the biggest strength of this show is the dialogue.

Mentioned on Haaaave you met each other, but love this one.

Ted:
[takes first shot] Let me tell you something about this brain, okay?
[takes second shot]Pure alcohol cannot stop this brain.
[takes third shot]This brain, dear mortals, is no ordinary brain.
[takes fourth shot]This is a superbrain.
[takes fifth shot]This brain is unstoppable. This brain...

Older Ted:
And that's all I remember.

Also,

Ted: You're not... Moby, are you?
Not Moby: Who?
Ted: The recording artist, Moby.
Not Moby: Oh, no.
Ted: Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
Not Moby: Oh, I thought you said Tony.
Ted: So your name's Tony?
Not Moby: ...No.

Plus,

Marshall: I'm not a gay pirate, I have sex with my parrot all the time!
Marshall: OK, that came out wrong.

And finally,

Barney: Ted, tonight we're gonna go out. We're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. Phone-five!
Barney: You didn't phone-five, did you?
Barney: ....I know when you don't phone-five Ted.

Edited by Araes, Sep 16, 2007 @ 7:53 PM.

[kathrynann]

Marshall: Nooot awkward. Not awkward unless we let it be awkward.

And after that woman walks in the kitchen as Marshall insults her - "Now this is akward." I love the way he says it so smoothly.

[kattart]

Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist.

(30 minutes later)

Mmmmmmoist...

[jkalderash]

Barney: Haaaaaaave you met me?

Lily: Oh my God, Robin, are you gonna kick this girl's ass?
Robin: Yeah. And steal her purse.

[mookiestarz]

Barney: "I'm going Han-style"

Solo.

[GoldfishGirl42]

Ted: We love naked girls. They're one of the best things in the world. It goes: naked girls, democracy, the scene in Every Which Way But Loose where the monkey gives the guy the finger.

This makes me sort of wonder whether C&B have watched Coupling (the UK version) , because it's very similar to Steve's rant in the first season episode Inferno:

Look, it's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond.

My absolute favorite bit of The Pineapple Incident:
*Ted turns on the jukebox*
Marshall: Cheap Trick... oh, Ted.

And I heartily second "I would have stolen you a whole orchestra." By all rights, it should have been cheesy. On any other show it would have. But with all the continuity on this show, and the heart-rending sincerity JR put behind the lines, by God, it knocks you backwards.

Edited by GoldfishGirl42, Sep 17, 2007 @ 12:20 PM.

[Loey]

Marshall: "I don't know what we're gonna do with a dune buggy - but I want one!"