94 replies to this topic

[EllycatinOz]

Loosely based on the infamous and fantastic If I were an Evil Overlord Click here If you were the Doctor, another Timelord or a Companion or Regular Baddie...what obvious things would you do./ not do?
Here is extract and adaptation to get you started...original in italics..

Shooting is not too good for my enemies...

I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

I will not scream exterminate for half an hour before attempting to kill the Doctor.

[GaterMel]

If I were a Companion, I would glomp all of the Doctor's sexy incarnations (preferably, Five, Eight, and David Ten-Inch) and ask each of them to make love to me.

[March301]

If I were a Dalek I would not threaten to kill a Companion if the Doctor doesn't comply and then get too distracted to kill the Companion when the Doctor doesn't comply.

[ChrisH]

If I were a supporting character, I would make sure my will and life insurance were up to date.

Edited by ChrisH, May 15, 2007 @ 11:17 PM.

[arizonamyrie]

The Doctors (that I've seen):

• If I were the Tenth Doctor, I'd make sure I never ran out of hair gel.
• If I were the Ninth Doctor, I'd make sure I always had clean socks.
• If I were the Eighth Doctor, I'd make sure all heart surgeons knew that I had two hearts.
• If I were the Fourth Doctor, I'd find a way to make sure my scarf would never stretch.

[James Moar]

If I am a companion, I will not quit the TARDIS to join a society significantly less advanced than the one I came from. Or a more advanced one, if I don't have decent job prospects. No, not even if I met someone cute there two episodes ago.

[Caffeine Junkie]

If I am a companion, I will make sure to wear good, hard wearing shoes with ankle support. That way, I won't be as inclined to trip over and twist my ankle as much.
I would also insist on TARDIS flying lessons.

[ChrisH]

If I was a Cyber Leader, the instant I next see the Doctor I would actually upgrade him instead of having a long conversation, actually proving that "Resistance is useless."

[Asteria]

If I were a companion, I would read/watch as much science fiction as possible, particularly time travel stuff and the Twilight Zone, in order to know what kind of situations to avoid (eg, going back in time to save someone who was supposed to be dead, Rose)

[D.C.]

If I were a potential companion, I'd make sure I had a toothbrush and a change of underwear tucked in my pocket or purse before I jumped into the TARDIS.

[GaterMel]

If I was a companion, I would make sure NOT to annoy the Doctor too much. And I would try to keep my mom from slapping the Doctor.
If I was a villainess on Doctor Who, I would be forever trying to make the Doctor my love slave. However, he'll always elude my grasp. Clever little Time Lord.
If I was the Doctor, I would make sure not to upset my companion's mother. And I would make sure the companion herself wouldn't attempt to murder anyone.

[Ivriniel]

If I were a Companion, I would never wear open toed shoes. You never know where you might end up, and what you might end up walking in. :P

[Jaman]

If I were a companion, I'd try to keep my hair and makeup simple. Your hair is going to get knotted and stringy, and your makeup is going to sweat off from all the running you will be doing.

[drcat]

If I were a companion, I'd also be a timelord. That's right, the Romana fantasy. Intense timelord brain foreplay would feature prominently in my adventures with The Doctor.

[EllycatinOz]

I love these!
If I were the Doctor, before taking on a new Companion I would sneak up on her and say Boo, if her scream is louder than say a jet I wont bring her. No matter how cute.

[Kaffyr]

If I were a companion, I'd get directions to the TARDIS gymnasium post-haste, for I am a couch potato in more than name, and must needs do some heavy aerobic conditioning prior to my first RunforyourLife!™

[Ivriniel]

If I were a Companion, I'd make sure that I wore shoes with good ankle support.

I would also carry pepper spray so I'd have some way to protect myself from the inevidible being grabbed from behind moment.

[Asteria]

If I were a Companion I would not hesitate to slap, kick, elbow, or hit the Doctor with a book if I felt he needed and/or deserved it. I would also not hesitite to hug him if I felt he needed it.

If I were a Companion, I would avoid any circumstances that would place the Doctor and any of my relatives in the same place at the same time.

[Ivriniel]

If I were a potential Companion, I would turn Five down cold. Out of 6 Companions, 1 ended up dead, 1 ended up completely disillusioned, 1 left to work in a leper colony, 1 ended up either dead or married to Brian Blessed (or as his wrestling manager, either way, sounds somewhat unpleasant), 1 ended up shrunk and only 1 got what he wanted, a trip home...But the Doctor didn't actually take him there. I don't like those odds. ;)

Edited by Ivriniel, May 23, 2007 @ 6:39 PM.

[EllycatinOz]

If I were a Companion I would before leaving the TARDIS for any reason ask the Doctor to check what year and place it really was.

[aren3]

If I were a companion, I would not wander off, thus allowing myself to be easily captured.

If I were a companion, I would learn some form of self-defense.

If I were the Doctor, I would put tracking devices on all of my companions.

[arizonamyrie]

If I were a villain, I'd make sure that I wouldn't have any buttons anywhere nearby. They're always beaten by the weakness of pushing a great big button. Or twenty.

[Jaman]

If I were a villian, I would stop telling the Doctor what my plans were. How many times have the Daleks gotten in trouble for telling him what they were doing?

If I were a companion, I'd probably get kicked off the TARDIS from trying to go back and change everything I disliked in history.

[ChrisH]

If I were a villain...

...and I saw the Doctor (or what looked like the Doctor) bumbling about, completely idiotically, I'd shoot him. No doubt it's all part of his plan.

...the first hint of the Doctor that I saw/heard about in my realm/empire/kingdom, I'd reform completely. If my minions resist the change, I show them The Family of Blood. That oughta scare them straight.

...I'd shoot the Doctor before letting him speechify. If I couldn't shoot him, I'd run as far away as possible, because something very very very very bad is about to happen to me.

[Sara Wolfe]

Someone's been reading the Evil Overlord Manual.

[ChrisH]

Sadly enough, I didn't even look at the manual to write those down. They actually came into my head after watching The Family of Blood. Of course, I might have read the manual enough to let it sink into my subconscious.

[KatherineO]

If I were a Companion...
...I would start a fitness regimen that would train me for such activities as "running for my life", "hanging off ropes/platforms/switches for parallel universes", "jumping onto surfaces of unknown stability", "pointing objects, both mundane and dangerous, in a threatening manner at my adversaries", "escaping from confinement", with a touch of "kicking the ever living crap out of baddies" for good measure.
...I would ask the TARDIS to take me far future medical facility (so long as it is not staffed by cat-nuns), and be scanned for every ailment known to the universe and then be cured and immunized for all of them. Also, I'd go in for a spot of laser eye surgery--getting alien slime in my contacts would be SUCH a pain.
...I would have a wonderful relationship with the TARDIS wardrobe room. I don't want to be stuck in whatever my version of Pineapple Hair and a Leather Jacket would be for weeks on end.
...If the Doctor is feeling particularly morally ambiguous and/or unconcerned about paradoxes, I would ask if we could go and visit philosophers and scientists of days gone by, blow their minds by telling them what they got right and what they got wrong, and then using some of Jack's retcon on them so that world history would continue as normal.

[EllycatinOz]

Ooooh

getting alien slime in my contacts would be SUCH a pain

excellent point. Will add it to my internal list.

I think ChrisH that it is just good advice.
If I were a companion I would not torment any captured adversaries, because it is just tacky.

[Asteria]

If I were a Companion, and I was in a situation where I met one of the Doctor's previous Companions (as in School Reunion), I would get the initial bitchfighting out of the way as quickly as possible, because this previous Comanaion has to have some wonderfully funny stories about the Doctor which I can use to mock him whenever he starts going on about his own genius.

edited to remove typos

Edited by Asteria, Jun 6, 2007 @ 9:28 AM.

[Cosanostra]

If I were another Timelord, I'd bitchslap the Doctor for hogging all the glory. Big no-name showoff.