198 replies to this topic

[UnfamousLoser]

A thread to praise the funny things the writers make the Walkers say.

This is a throwaway line, but when Tommy, Kevin, and Justin went to the sperm bank, and Kevin came out of the room and told the sperm bank woman, "Incidentally, I appreciate your support of gay cinema," that line always makes me laugh. It's such a formal lawyerly way of saying, "Thanks for the gay porn!"

[Kong Chang]

Kevin : I wish Justin was back from rehab, he has great gaydar.

(I'll have to look this up to correct it.)

[pinkbird]

Sara to Nora: If you're trying to drive me crazy, I can walk from here.

Thanks for a great thread title, UnfamousLoser!

[Kong Chang]

Does anyone remember the closet quote from episode 13? There were some few great "closet" quotes from Kitty and Justin, and I think Kevin made one too.

[cmstevens]

These scripts are so smart, this is going to be a LONG thread.

Kitty to Kevin: "Oh, Kevin! You don't want a boyfriend, you want a blender."

[Schroeder]

Mechanic: You put it in the wrong hole.
Kevin (to Tommy): Shut up!

[possibilities]

Is your little boyfriend in there?

[Mary Ann]

Holly: I guess you always want what you don't have.
Nora: Funny, I never did.

Holly: Maybe we’ll be friends some day.
Nora: Maybe, but not today.

Nora to David: I don't want you to feel every time you come over you're required to nail something.

Sarah: And as for Holly, as long as we don't have a gold-digging mistress division, she's of absolutely no use to Ojai Foods or to me.

Edited by Mary Ann, Mar 30, 2007 @ 7:41 PM.

[pinkbird]

About the rifle: We're Republicans. It's foreplay.

[quietone]

Nora: The evening was a haze of alcohol and mortification.

[UnfamousLoser]

Schroeder said:

Mechanic: You put it in the wrong hole.
Kevin (to Tommy): Shut up!

The thing I love about this exchange, is:

• Kevin knew that Tommy, not Sarah, would say something teasing,
• Kevin knew what Tommy would probably say, and
• Kevin already was telling Tommy to shut up before he said it

One of the reasons I like this show is that the writers and actors have done a good job of presenting characters that you feel really have grown up together, known each other for decades, and know each other's patterns before this show even began.

Adding:

Senator: "Hey, there's a few more hours left in Valentine's Day. I think we should go find all the happy couples and throw things at them."

Edited by UnfamousLoser, Mar 30, 2007 @ 8:27 PM.

[pinkbird]

Justin (lick-spelling cantaloupe): You suck at this game!

The thing I love about this exchange, is:

adding: Tommy could not not say it.

Edited by pinkbird, Mar 30, 2007 @ 8:53 PM.

[darkestboy]

Kevin (to Kitty): On your knees? Whore!

[jcpbmg]

This is from the previews for this sunday's episode:

Kitty: I'm Kitty
McCallister's daugher: Like a cat... meow

It's a total payoff to everyone's comments about Kitty's name. The line is all in the delivery and this kid nailed it. I'm still cracking up.

[Mary Ann]

Rebecca sums it up in just a few sentences:

"It seems pretty simple to me, Mom. You were willing to be sloppy seconds for some rich jerk with a wife and kids, and my dad didn’t want to fess up to having a bastard child with his mistress because he didn’t want to risk his Norman Rockwell life. Do I have it straight, Mom?"

Yeah, Rebecca, you've got it straight.

[cmstevens]

Nora: "Don't listen to Kitty. Republicans do not share a close relationship with the truth."

[Lewisfan48]

Kevin: You mean tell him that we're both having sexes with exes?

Nora: I always seem to be apologizing for my children. If they're not falling out of trees, they're arguing over sperm.

[James4000]

After the date at a restaurant:

Scotty: I can read you like a comic book, Kevin Walker. Two pages at a time.
Kevin: You just didn't compare me to a comic book...
Scotty: But I love comic books!

[hypertwink]

Can somebody see if I remember this correctly?


Kevin (to Scotty): So, can you please forgive me so I can stop making myself drunk?


That made me smile. And please hit me with Kevin's spit line! Hee.

Edited by hypertwink, Mar 31, 2007 @ 7:34 PM.

[quentin312002]

Oh, the spit line! I love that one. Let's set the scene;

Sarah; "Gabe, don't chase your little brother."
Gabe; "But he spit in my mouth!"
Sarah;"I don't care don't chase him in the house."
They procede to run anyway so Sarah goes after them. Kevin with Justin and Tommy on either side of him
Kevin; "They're just to young to appreciate the pleasures of spitting into someones mouth." Pause while the guys slowly turn to him. "You'd know" Points to Justin.

I especially love him saying that last bit to Justin

[cmstevens]

Michelle: "Holy crap, you're like gay!"
Kevin: "I'm not like gay, I'm the real thing."

ETA:

Justin to Kevin: "The only reason I am not drinking tonight is that alcohol is my gateway to pills. The problem is, people are my gateway to alcohol."

Kevin: "Word"

Edited by cmstevens, Mar 31, 2007 @ 11:37 PM.

[izzybee]

Kevin to Chad (after the two are spotted shopping together by a tabloid reporter): “I told you that lamp was gay.”

Later in the same converstation, Kevin complains to Chad about not being about to go out in public more: “I’m starting to feel like a vampire.”

Edited by izzybee, Apr 1, 2007 @ 12:34 PM.

[Miss Bee]

Oh, the spit line! I love that one. Let's set the scene;

Sarah; "Gabe, don't chase your little brother."
Gabe; "But he spit in my mouth!"
Sarah;"I don't care don't chase him in the house."
They procede to run anyway so Sarah goes after them. Kevin with Justin and Tommy on either side of him
Kevin; "They're just to young to appreciate the pleasures of spitting into someones mouth." Pause while the guys slowly turn to him. "You'd know" Points to Justin.

I especially love him saying that last bit to Justin

Thank you! I posted exactly to put this one in. The way Justin and Tommy look at Kevin after he says that is priceless. And in the same episode, Kitty goes "I can see it now.. oohhh yyyesss!" and mimes Kevin playing golf. To which Kevin: "Is that me having sex or playing golf?"

[Kev]

Kevin to Chad (after the two are spotted shopping together by a tabloid reporter): “I told you that lamp was gay.”

"And ugly."

[dagny]

You guys are whack!

I love how she was almost envious of the chaos latter in the day.

[punjab]

Kevin, my TV-husband-who-turned-straight-for -me, always has the best lines.

[dc chick]

Some quotes from my favorite episode, Something Ida This Way Comes:

(In Kitty's closet drinking wine.)
Sarah: Oh, whatever, at least your asses weren't plastered all over a plasma. (Tommy and Kevin start laughing) Don't laugh, it's not funny. I can't even look at you people anymore.
Tommy: Imagine how we feel.
Kevin: Yeah, full out on the couches.
Sarah: Oh, stop it.
Kevin: Have you been doing yoga?
Sarah: Okay, that's enough!

*********************************************

Saul: Why is everyone in the kitchen? Is everything okay?
Ida: Well hardly, Justin is an addict, and Kevin is gay. And, and this one is shooting pornographic movies.
Sarah: Pornographic what?
Nora: The sex tape that you and Joe shot, it ended up on my video.
Sarah: No.
Saul, Kitty: Yes it did.
Nora: Yeah.
Sarah: No it didn't.
Ida, Nora, Saul, Kitty, Kevin: Yes it did.
Sarah: Joe?
Kitty: Uh oh.
Sarah: Joe?
(Joe walks into the kitchen.)
Sarah: Why didn't you tell me about the tape?
Joe: I was going to but, uh, waited till after the party. I just -
Sarah: We're supposed to be a team.
Joe: Well, um... We are a team.
Sarah (shrieking): It's not funny!
Ida: What else don't I know about this family?

**************************************

(catching Tommy, Kevin, and Sarah drinking wine in Kitty's closet)
Justin: It's like a speakeasy in here.

[Mary Ann]

Kevin: As company president, you do have a fiduciary obligation to make an informed decision.
Sarah: No, I don’t.
Kevin: Yeah, you do.
Sarah: Stop saying legal things just to piss me off.

Ida: A peasant girl told me there’s no alcohol. What is going on here?
(We need more Ida. Once was not enough.)

[Lewisfan48]

Yes, seriously. Bring back Marion Ross.

Kevin: I'll get you a cranberry and vodka. Just keep it on the down low.
Ida (to passing waitstaff): Just keep it on the down low.

Ha!


Another favorite...

Kevin (re: going out with Warren): I would, Mom, but for one thing he's straight.
Nora: That's never stopped you before.