Edited by Batman Beatles, Feb 1, 2012 @ 9:20 PM.
Because I Said So: New Rules for TV
Posted Dec 7, 2011 @ 7:38 PM
Posted Dec 11, 2011 @ 12:47 PM
Posted Dec 16, 2011 @ 6:23 PM
My rule is that any reality show contestant who threatens to quit is automatically out. Period.
ITA. Quit being an attention whore and do the task at hand.
Let's take this a step further and make it a requirement for being on the show that these would-be contestants prove that they have watched at least one prior season of the competitive-reality show in question before they even audition, much less get cast.
Let's also extended this to candid reality. There was a girl on Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Making the Team who said after being cut "If I had just taken dance lessons I would still be here." Yes you idiot - you tried out for a dance team and didn't take a dance class. For goodness sake at least read forums to get a feel for what will be expected of you.
Posted Dec 19, 2011 @ 2:48 AM
Let's take this a step further and make it a requirement for being on the show that these would-be contestants prove that they have watched at least one prior season of the competitive-reality show in question before they even audition, much less get cast. That way, none of these whiny doofuses can bitch about how something is out of their comfort zone or about how they didn't know that the process would be so harrrrd (and yes, future celebrity contestants on DWTS, I'm looking at you as well!) Anyone who has a functioning pair of eyes and at least half a working brain would know going in what would be expected of them, especially if he or she is as much of a fan of the show as he or she claims to be. What's these losers' excuse?
I would add - I do not want to hear the contestants say "No, I've never cooked pork/chicken/something other common American meat or food medium/ before!" It's almost always a lie, for one thing, at least on Hell's Kitchen. I do not believe that a cook from the South hasn't cooked pork in her life (that was someone last year). It's complete nonsense, and just makes them look like sleazy liars.
Posted Feb 1, 2012 @ 1:32 PM
Posted Feb 3, 2012 @ 5:35 AM
Posted Feb 3, 2012 @ 1:25 PM
I would like to propose a rule preventing shows that have parents of a young child go through a ridiculously comedic application process to a prestigious pre-school. God knows, if a child doesn't go to the right pre-school they'll NEVER get into any university of value.
God, yes please. You know what would be far more interesting and honest? Show us the parents trying to be dignified while going through separation anxiety. Or the parents worrying that their kid isn't ready for school. Older siblings making up horror stories that their gullible younger siblings eat up with a spoon.
There are so many interesting stories to tell about your kid going to school. Why do they have to drag out that old clunker every time?
Posted Feb 10, 2012 @ 10:01 PM
Posted Feb 12, 2012 @ 2:07 PM
Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 1:23 AM
Seriously, given they pretty much ignored most of the 80's (barring the one where Sam leaped back into "present day" 1999, I think they only did maybe one episode set after 1985), they've got basically thirty years worth of social issues they could mine ideas from, like AIDS, or the pro-life/pro-choice debate, or gay marriage, or even something minor but culturally significant like reality TV... how hasn't this been done yet?
Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 5:50 PM
I can see it now: Sam leaps into the body of a rising religious-right politician and discovers, after trial and error, that his mission isn't to change his politics, but to get him to be more honest about the challenges within his own family... Sam leaps into a gay teenager faced with bullying... Sam leaps into a staff member of a clinic that sometimes performs abortions, and are dealing with bomb threats and even assassination attempts... Sam leaps into a Muslim-American frustrated by the stereotypes and anger directed at his people... Sam leaps into an 'undocumented' immigrant - or maybe a hardline anti-immigration activist....
Posted Feb 22, 2012 @ 10:05 PM
Posted Feb 23, 2012 @ 2:07 PM
You may not appear on The Amazing Race until you prove your proficiency in driving a manual transmission.
You may not appear on Survivor until you prove that you can make fire without matches or a lighter.
Posted Feb 27, 2012 @ 1:41 AM
Posted Feb 28, 2012 @ 1:38 AM
Posted Mar 2, 2012 @ 9:24 PM
Posted Mar 5, 2012 @ 4:45 PM
Posted Mar 7, 2012 @ 12:38 PM
Two seasons in a row now with hillbillies and their hick-speak
Posted Mar 7, 2012 @ 8:37 PM
I mean, they really need to cast more relatable, more interesting people (Harlem Globetrotters? Really show?), but excluding people based on their accent isn't the way to do it, I don't think.
Posted Mar 14, 2012 @ 8:42 PM
Ponzi (as in what Madoff did)/Fonzie (character played by Henry Winkler)
mastication (a word no one uses EVER except to make this joke)/masturbation (a word no one ever confuses with anything ele)
Find new malaprops, people. Raising Hope does it every episode - it's not hard.
Posted Mar 14, 2012 @ 10:06 PM
mastication (a word no one uses EVER except to make this joke)
Actually, John Madden once did (either masticate or masticating) during a Thanksgiving NFL game many years ago, which surprised me as it inevitably led to masturbation jokes among those with whom I was viewing the game, yet I honestly don't think he was trying to sneak that in.
Edited by Bastet Esq, Mar 14, 2012 @ 10:06 PM.
Posted Mar 15, 2012 @ 10:55 AM
Posted Mar 18, 2012 @ 10:00 PM
And yet it seems like every single competitive reality show has that one person say "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win" in the promos. I don't even watch competitive reality shows and I know it's a cliche.
Posted Mar 18, 2012 @ 11:50 PM
Posted Mar 19, 2012 @ 10:51 AM
Now, it gets really complicated if the reality show is a Miss Congeniality thing, where to win it you have to make friends. Maybe that would be "I'm here to make people think I'm making friends so I can win it, but I will stomp all over these chumps who think I'm their friend so I can make more friends." But that would at least be a little twisted and surprising. I was watching that jousting show on the History channel, and one of those guys actually said the "I'm not here to make friends" thing, which made me shout at the TV, "No, you moron, you're there to knock the other guys off their horses with a long pole. Who in their right mind would think that's about friendship?" That's not even a "game" where there are alliances and voting. It's pure performance, so friendship doesn't even come into play.
Posted Mar 20, 2012 @ 1:40 PM
Watching The Revolution--not a revolution.
And so, here's where I get the title for my anti-reality TV/talk-show book/screed.
Posted Mar 29, 2012 @ 4:59 PM
eta Spelling is good.
Edited by Actionmage, Mar 29, 2012 @ 5:00 PM.
Posted Apr 10, 2012 @ 3:27 PM
Posted Apr 15, 2012 @ 2:54 PM
Correlary: For every atheist you have who is a traumatized lapsed Christian or an emotionless scientist who doesn't understand joy or beauty, you must have one atheist who is a nice, well-adjusted person with a normal job and life who just doesn't happen to believe in God.
New rule: Next writer who makes a rape joke (including male rape, date rape, rufies, statutory rape, and informed consent rape) will be shot.
New rule: Next writer who has a plotline where a woman is raped or almost raped (or kidnapped, murdered, ect) and is rescued by a man who she immediately has sex with and falls in love with and has no trauma whatsoever will be drawn and quartered.
New rule: Next writer who has a woman almost be raped and rescuing herself or, failing that, reporting the matter to the police and getting therapy, will undergo complete DNA sequencing to make sure they're not an alien.
New rule: The next writer to make a joke about eating disorders will be denied food until they can write a sensitive and compelling plotline about anything. I expect many will starve to death, but that's a sacrifice we'll have to make.