650 replies to this topic

[CelleDuSoleil]

Brought to you by inspirational grants from Jerry the Frog Productions and TWoP and the kind external validation of forum posters like you.

(... and, uhm, sobell's strong hint that this would be a better place for the self-absorbed exhibits of my imaginary troupe. In my own defense, I had not really intended it to be a thing -- it just sorta got outta hand.)

Previously on imaginary finger-puppet summation ...

Ep. 203

Michael: Dude, where's my car?

Mahone: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Chuck: A woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood cuz your guy is standing right here.

Mahone: *Scogasm!*

Michael: *Flee!*

Mahone: Wheeler, making with the wheeling and wheel!

Linc: Stand aside, li'l bro, for I am as reckless as thou art anal and we both know you always win at rock-paper-scissors.

Michael's car: *Ka-BOOM!*

M.E.: Bummer.

Mahone: *bummed*

Linc: Well, that killed my buzz. Got anymore cayenne?

Nika: All out. Maybe you could get a prescription from your doctor.

Michael: Wow, let's not talk about that and get this Sar- I mean: this show on the road.

Bellick: What ho!

Ep. 204

Linc: Bro, your sorta-wife is totally gonna turn on us.

Michael: Ooooohhhhmmm, don't be silly, sadly distrustful fraternal one. Women are much better co-conspirators than men. Once you explain to them in a polite and logical manner that your 10 056 step plan (with branching contingency structure) is in the enlightened best interest of everyone following it and no one need resort to unseemly violence, they become very motivated and resourceful in doing your every bidding. Now, breath in. Breath out. Ooooohhhmmmmm...

Bellick: Sara. OD. Neener.

Michael: *VICIOUS KICK TO FACE* *Meltdown*

Sara: I am in no way connected to you in any way, shape or form, you hot mastermind ... I mean: you manipulative bastard!

"Lance": Score!

Nika: You'll never love meeeeee!

Michael: ?

Linc: Michael, you doofus, how many times do I have to explain this to you: It's. Not. Your. Mad. Planning. Skillz. That. Motivates. The. Fairer. Sex. To. Do. Your. Every. Bidding. Got it?

Michael: Does not compute. Bye, Nika! Hope we can still be totally platonic help-mates.

Linc: *sigh* Just get in the car.

Ep. 205
(The T-Bag puppet goes on the middle finger.)

"Lance": Every girl needs a gay best-friend! We can go shopping together, cook sumptuous meals and talk about skeezy, manipulative, fatally attractive boys.

Mahone: Minions, from now on, I only hear the magic S-word ... and WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GENIUS WHACK JOB?

Tech-Minion: Uhm ... Scofield, sir?

Mahone: Where?!

T-Bag: Yarg, me saucy lad, I be huntin' boo-tay and you will be of ass-sis-tee-nay-tion.

Tweener: And this is different from Fox River how?

C-Note: *complain-fu* *hax0r-fu* *splash!*

"Lance": Am I being too probing? My partner, Danny, always said-- erm, says I'm too probing. Gosh, I miss him ... when he travels *sniff*. Anyone you miss?

Sara: Why don't you just redesign my mail arrangement and I'll be right back, m'kay?

Gov. Tancredi: Honey, your rebelliously idealistic ways are giving me an ulcer.

Sara: No, dad -- that's just a late-life onset of scruples.

Sucre: I object! *vamanos!*

Mahone's birdbath: *ripple* Nope, no fugitives here! Now take your chill pills and run along.

Linc: *sigh*

T-Bag: *flabber-gah-sted!*

Michael: ... and some floss and a loofa.

Ep. 206

T-Bag: Blahblahblah-any-excuse-to-mention-your-ass-cakes.

Michael: Silence, karmic burden. The only thing I want to hear from you is the exact location of that silo ... OR I WILL PERSONALLY PERFORM A MAP-ECTOMY USING ONLY A LEMON ZESTER AND AN ANCHOVY!

Kim: I'm Madame President's right hand now. You've been demoted to her left little toe.

Linc: Life skills -- I'm just sayin'.

Michael: You're so cool.

Jeanette: This is all awfully inconvenient and dubi-- He-llo, salty pectoral goodness! Dig away, boys, you certainly seem to know what you're doing.

C-Note: Wash, rinse, repeat, snowflake.

Haywire: Oh-pah! Oooo, windmill-y. Come, Sancho, away!

Jeanette: *Writhe* *giggle* *verbally castrate*

Tweener: *Fleeeeee--smack!*

Mahone: Freeze, punk. The only thing I want to hear from you is the exact location of Scofield ... OR I WILL PERSONALLY PERFORM A 411-ECTOMY USING ONLY A BULLET AND AN ANCHOVY!

Ep. 207
(The Michael finger-puppet refuses to be on the same hand as the others -- I can't imagine why.)

Michael: I can do this! I can make this work just as long as ...

Linc: Sorry, bro, but my need to selflessly risk life and limb for the sake of my flesh and blood outweighs your geeky little desire to prove that your Plan-fu is the greatest.

Michael: ... nobody ...

Kim: Pfft! Like anyone's going to notice that we're offing whole families connected to the same case.

Kellerman: Stay away from my BFF Sar-- I mean, leave this to the original White House Family "Planner", you evil little git.

Michael: ... does ...

Tweener: Yo?

Mahone: Nothing personal, kid, but go postal on one fugitive lowlife, and you become some shadowy conspiracy's butt-monkey for life. *BANG!*

Michael: ... anything ...

Sucre: Sorry, compadres, but me and Maricruz, we have a love based on mutual respect and ill gotten gains acquired at gunpoint and I need to re-establish that.

Michael: ... stupid.

Ep. 208
(For maximum authenticity, dip the Michael and Sucre finger-puppets in the beverage of your choice):

Sucre: I have served my purpose -- save yourself. My tethered body will float in this river as a monument to our undying love.

Michael: Okay, yeah: no. A) I am pathologically incapable of leaving you here to die, and B) I have determined that you are the only natural source of comic relief and are, therefore, indispensable. QED.

Sucre: Whoo! Plan!

Michael: Step 1) cradle your head above water in a tender yet manly fashion and Step 2) wait for the water level to rise. Simultaneously, I will Step 3) breath through my eyelids and meditate upon the question that has gotten us so far: What Would MacGyver Do?

Sara: Okay, breath. Think. What Would Scully Do? TRUSTNO1? Check. Hair fabulous and autumnal? Check. Decrypt message from tall and taciturn totally-not-significant-other? On it.

Kellerman: Whither the moral ambiguity? You were hired to do a job. So do it. Hard work is the American Way.

Mahone: True. If by "hired" you mean blackmailed, "job" you mean kill 8 guys who may or may not deserve it and "American Way" you mean ... oh, never mind. What Would Samuel Gerard Do?

Ep. 209
(For your own safety, please hold the Michael and Mahone finger-puppets as far from each other as humanly possible):

Michael: I know what you did -- pity you can't move the body.

Mahone: Michael, these veiled threats are beneath you. I know where you're going -- pity you won't make it out of there alive.

Michael: Oh, Alexander, we are both men of towering intellect, surprising sensitivity and striking bone structure. Why must we fight?

Mahone: A cruel, cruel twist of fate ... So what are you wearing?

Michael: You mean you don't know? *click*

Edited by CelleDuSoleil, Oct 31, 2006 @ 3:50 PM.

[Sabina82]

You are a genius - I bow down to you and your fantastic imagination.

[ellafitz]

(For maximum authenticity, dip the Michael and Sucre finger-puppets in the beverage of your choice):

Tee hee!

You rock.

So, have you made the finger puppets yet?

[Sabina82]

If you do make the finger puppets, I propose that you

a) take pictures of said finger puppets and share them with us

AND/OR

b) film an episode of the now Not-So-Imaginary Finger Puppet Theatre and share it with us - or maybe outsource (but maintain creative control)

Edited by Sabina82, Nov 1, 2006 @ 10:42 AM.

[CelleDuSoleil]

BWAAH! Thank you for the enthusiasm, but some things (baboon striptease, tofu sausage making, deeper perceived truthes disguised as satire and reduced to the absurd so as to dodge debate, etc.) are better left to the imagination. The metaphorical orange Crush washes out more easily.

[nicepebbles]

Linc: Michael, you doofus, how many times do I have to explain this to you: It's. Not. Your. Mad. Planning. Skillz. That. Motivates. The. Fairer. Sex. To. Do. Your. Every. Bidding. Got it?

I think this might be my fave line so far. Seriously, Michael get a clue. YOU'RE HAWT!!

Linc: Life skills -- I'm just sayin'.

BBWWAAAHHHH!!!!

Sara: Okay, breath. Think. What Would Scully Do? TRUSTNO1? Check. Hair fabulous and autumnal? Check. Decrypt message from tall and taciturn totally-not-significant-other? On it.

That's what I said. Ok not in so many words.

[LLLblossom]

Sweet. I love these. I think my favorite is 203. I'll tune in for next time.

[Hotfed]

Michael: Oh, Alexander, we are both men of towering intellect, surprising sensitivity and striking bone structure. Why must we fight?

Pure genius!!

[Trini Girl]

These are great! Thanks for putting them all here in one place!

[nicepebbles]

I second what Hotfed said!

[sueli769]

Hee!

Right now I think 208 is my favorite.

Any chance of getting some first season puppetry?

[Sabina82]

Any chance of getting some first season puppetry?

Yes please!!! That would be too cool.

[CelleDuSoleil]

Classique PB Episodal Finger-puppet Theatre coming Winter 2006.

[Sabina82]

Classique PB Episodal Finger-puppet Theatre coming Winter 2006.

Sweet - I'm putting it in my calendar.

[ellafitz]

Classique PB Episodal Finger-puppet Theatre coming Winter 2006.

That just made my day.

[sueli769]

*volunteers fingers for any scenes involving the complete TE*

[CelleDuSoleil]

Ep. 210

Mahone: Burrows, shmurrows -- I'm thisclose to Scofield. I can smell it. It smells like freshly-baked brownies.

Michael: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

Sara: It is the east, and my burning righteous resentment is the sun.

Michael: I'm really really really really reallyreallyreallyreallyreally sorry. Really. So, uhm, have you ever been to Panama? Panama is great!

Sara: Scamper off to Panama with two of America's Most Wanted? That's your great Plan to Make Everything Right?! HOT-- I mean: NOT!

Aldo: You don't need to scamper off to Panama. Me and my band of Magical Disgruntled Conspira-sprites will fix everything!

Linc: Hmmm, a ridiculously easy solution offered by the man who abandoned me as a child vs. a ridiculously dangerous and complicated one offered by the brother who sacrificed everything he had for me. This, son, is what's known as a "no-brainer".

Michael: Mine's bigger and better lit over here on the Light Side.

Mahone: Yeah, well, mine's deadlier, and evil shall always triumph because good is too good to murder people in cold blood. Have fun in Panama!

Sara's note: "You are my new morphine, but I'm wiser now, and so, I am off ..."

Sara: ... oh, who am I kidd--

Kellerman: Hey, girlfriend, you must try my new brownie recipe -- it's simply to die for.

[LLLblossom]

Michael: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

Sara: It is the east, and my burning righteous resentment is the sun.

Awe-some!
Got any lines you could add about T-Barf and/or the BozoFetts?

[CelleDuSoleil]

Characters like Bellick, Geary and T-Bag rarely need my help in casting their words and actions in an absurd light, and Haywire has his own imaginary finger-puppet production going 24/7 I assure you.

[Sabina82]

It smells like freshly-baked brownies.

So that's what Michael smells like. Well, combine that with the Blue Steel, the altruistic genious-ness, the Victorian Hand Porn and the mandatory sexiness of the outlaw/fugitive mystique and it's amazing that any woman could resist.

"Conspira-sprites" - awesome word.

Edited by Sabina82, Nov 7, 2006 @ 11:47 PM.

[sueli769]

So, uhm, have you ever been to Panama? Panama is great!

*gigglesnort*

[Naomi01]

CelleDuSoleil your Finger-puppet Theatre is hilarious! I don't read the episode threads, so thank you so much for starting your own one and making me LMFAO.

Edited by Naomi01, Nov 8, 2006 @ 5:05 AM.

[LizzieF]

Sara's note: "You are my new morphine, but I'm wiser now, and so, I am off ..."
Sara: ... oh, who am I kidd--

This cracked me up. This finger-puppet theatre is the funniest thing ever.

[CelleDuSoleil]

Ep. 211

Michael: *whimper*

Michael's conscience: Aw, dude, I am so sorry! I was trying to stuff the last one in the Ends Justify the Means compartment and it just blew up. We need somewhere quiet and moodily lit -- I'm thinking low light with some strategic directional -- to sort all this 'cause it is seriously gumming up the works in here.

Aldo: Blahblah-conspira-flashback-palooza-cakes and Sara Tancredi is The Key.

Linc: I'd love to enlighten you on how ironically appropriate that is but my Spider Sense is tingling. LINCOLN ACTION SQUAD, ENGAGE!

Jane: *BANG!*

Linc: LJ, this is work for grown-ups who've had their survival instincts eroded by years of life experience, so I want you to stay with the nice gun-toting lady.

Aldo: You did the right thing.

Linc: Coming from you, that means absolutely nothing.

Sucre: BFF RESCUE SQUAD, ENGAGE! ... What?! No, just leave him to bleed to death! This is totally one of them Do Onto Others situations.

Michael: *sigh* No, that compartment's full too.

Coyote: This is possibly the blood lose talking, but I am deeply moved by your not-leaving-me-to-die gesture, so here's your flight info.

Michael's conscience: Boo-ya!

Aldo: Michael, I am your father.

Michael: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kellerman: Oh, come on! I really don't want to kill you. Just tell me where the whatever your father gave you thing is and we'll call it a day and get some pie.

Sara: I ODed a little over a week ago and my life has been absolute crap since, so the death thing? Not. So. Scary. Plus, I was probably on my way to experiencing the most transcendent make-up, uhm, "high" e-ver before you showed up and ruined it, Lance, so making this easier on you? Not. In. The. Mood. In summation, bite me. *splash*

Kellerman's conscience: Can you hear me now? Good.



[EDIT: The conscience finger-puppets inform me that they were wrongly creditted as "conscious" and that they are on strike until I prove to them that I am truly sorry. I maintain that it is all the fault of the English language.]

Edited by CelleDuSoleil, Nov 15, 2006 @ 12:24 PM.

[Sabina82]

My favourite bits:

Sucre: BFF RESCUE SQUAD, ENGAGE! ... What?! No, just leave him to bleed to death! This is totally one of them Do Onto Others situations.

Michael: *sigh* No, that compartment's full too.

Michael's conscious: Boo-ya!

Sara:I ODed a little over a week ago and my life has been absolute crap since, so the death thing? Not. So. Scary. Plus, I was probably on my way to experiencing the most transcendent make-up, uhm, "high" e-ver before you showed up and ruined it, Lance, so making this easier on you? Not. In. The. Mood. In summation, bite me. *splash*

Kellerman's conscience: Can you hear me now? Good.

Hee! Go BFF RESCUE SQUAD!!! Michael is adorable and his conscience is pretty damn funny. Sara's all like "Damn, I wish I had stayed in that hotel room...would have been a helluva lot more FUN *wink*".

Kellerman's conscious - *snort*

I heart you, CelleDuSoleil - when I saw that you had added this new chapter, my heart made happy sounds. =)

Edited by Sabina82, Nov 22, 2006 @ 12:46 PM.

[LLLblossom]

My fave:

Linc: LJ, this is work for grown-ups who've had their survival instincts eroded by years of life experience, so I want you to stay with the nice gun-toting lady.

Aldo: You did the right thing.

Linc: Coming from you, that means absolutely nothing.

CelleDuSoleil, you always make me laugh ("...it's good for your health"). I like the Star Wars reference, too. Also, I am picturing Michael's conscience, complete with neat little labelled bins, and then everything filling up and exploding. *floating papers coming to rest everywhere*

[nicepebbles]

Right after the show I was like, "Can't wait for finger-puppet theatre!"

Linc: I'd love to enlighten you on how ironically appropriate that is but my Spider Sense is tingling. LINCOLN ACTION SQUAD, ENGAGE!

LMAO!!! Perfect description.

Coyote: This is possibly the blood lose talking, but I am deeply moved by your not-leaving-me-to-die gesture, so here's your flight info.

Michael's conscience: Boo-ya!

Again, LMAO! especially at the boo-ya part! I can totally see that.

[sueli769]

Hard to say which finger-puppet had the best line[s] this week, but I am going with Finger-Puppet Sara.

[Trini Girl]

Another hilarious episode, thanks CelleDuSoleil!

[CelleDuSoleil]

Ep. 212

Sara: *Houdini-fu* *iron-fu* *flee!*

Kellerman: *Sizzle* *GIRLY SCREAM!* *pwned*

Michael: I DON'T KNOW WHICH I WANT YOU TO FEEL THE MOST ABJECTLY GUILTY ABOUT, DAD -- MY HORRIFIC CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, MY OTHER HORRIFIC CHILDHOOD TRAUMA OR MY OTHER OTHER HORRIFIC CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, SO I'M GOING TO GO WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE!

Aldo: You are absolutely right, and this is all 100% my fault, bu--

Michael: I'M NOT FINISHED!

Linc: Dad, you gotta use the Magic S-Word. Mike, Sara is The Key to solving all our problems. How ironically awesome is that?

Michael: Sara?

Mahone: *BANG!*

Michael: No, Dad, don't die! It all becomes my fault again if you die!

Aldo: Save the doctor. Save the world. *dies*

Coyote: I want complete immunity from all charges, healthcare, citizenship and a pony. In writing. Then I'll give you Scofield's location.

Mahone: Counter-offer: you get to live. In actuality. The location?

Kellerman: There was a tactical misinterpretation of the intelligence at a strategic point in the deployment of the operation due to an intrinsic flaw in the paradigm.

Kim: You are so fired.

Sucre: Can't I talk you out of doing the noble, ridiculously complicated and dangerous thing this time?

Michael: When have you ever? Fly safe, papi.

Linc: Plan?

Michael: Lock and load.

Linc: Finally.

Michael: Turn back, I'm getting a ping on my Soulmate-o-meter.

Linc: And your Mindmate-o-meter?

Michael: Oh, he's still out th--

Mahone: *CRASH!*