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19 Kids and Counting (And Other Duggar Family Programs)


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#48781

p8712

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 7:22 PM

You know, Michelle, if you want entertainment maybe you can just buy a goddamned TV set instead of getting daily updates of you kids sexual feelings. Let them have something that's theirs.
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#48782

Pauline Fowler

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 7:45 PM

Let them have something that's theirs.


Even if I didn't know anything about the Duggars and just read Michelle's blog, my take-away would be that what is suggested in my quoted post is not an option for these people. It's all about controlling those kids so they don't escape the cult. The sad thing is, the kids don't even realize they're being played like the fiddles the fundies are so fond of. I really hate it for the daughters of patriarchy; they have to hope that the guy selling himself to Boob isn't a closet bunny boiler.

Interesting that Smuggar has friends who wear cargo shorts. He's still a prick and a half, but he seems to be leaning more fundie-lite what with the TV on permanent display (blocking one of those huge, trendy clocks) in the living room. They're not even tryin to hide it anymore. TLC has done quite a bit of shooting at Chez Smuggar; I hope the TV is shown front and center. There are a lot of fans out there who don't do social media and have no idea that Smuggar has practically gone "rogue." Hey, Mikey was in SHORTS the other day! NIKE!

Edited by Pauline Fowler, Jul 20, 2012 @ 7:48 PM.

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#48783

StrawburryTarte

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 7:53 PM

We encourage the kids to be open and communicate with us about how they feel. A few times when my girls have been getting ready to go out they've said, "Mama, will you pray for me, because I know I'm going to be around some boys and I just want to keep my heart right. I want to have the right response and to not be flirtatious or not have any wrong motives but to really keep it on a friendship level."


Hmmm. Maybe I'm jaded and skeptical, but that sounds to me like something someone, who just wants permission to get out of the house and have some fun, would say because it's what their parents want to hear.
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#48784

debbielove

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 8:24 PM

When Do the Duggar kids even get an opportunity to be around non-related members of the opposite sex or even the same sex? The people who attend the home church? The "friends" they meet at the ATI conference once a year? I think Michelle's just making stuff up at this point. If girls and boys can't even be friends within the family, why would opposite sex friendships exist with outsiders?
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#48785

Jimbob Snip It

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 8:24 PM

If anyone needs prayer it's us! If I have to hear another line of Mullet's B.S. then I might kvetch until I can't breathe anymore. So the parents want to control every minute detail of the poor slaves' lives. Not even desires and thoughts are free from the iron grip.
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#48786

bigskygirl

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 8:24 PM

Pleaze...

JimBoob tells the boys to respect and treat women with kindness. I can tell he taught Smuggar well. Lucky Anna.

DQ really expects us to buy that crap about what the girls say before leaving the house.

I wonder if these two are scared one of the kids might try to escape the cult and tell what is really going on at home.

Edited by bigskygirl, Jul 20, 2012 @ 8:25 PM.

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#48787

AllisonJenny

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 8:43 PM

When Do the Duggar kids even get an opportunity to be around non-related members of the opposite sex or even the same sex? The people who attend the home church? The "friends" they meet at the ATI conference once a year? I think Michelle's just making stuff up at this point. If girls and boys can't even be friends within the family, why would opposite sex friendships exist with outsiders?


They hang out with Smuggar's friends. That webstagram with the kissing picture I linked to, it has several pictures of the girls in mixed company. Including one where their male friend says wow to this; I assume he means "wow, it looks like she's Monica-ing that" and not "wow, that looks so sci-fi and trippy." And none of them threw out a bible verse and fussed at him for that, so it's a safe bet they're mostly pacifying Mullet with the "Mommy, I am scared of the menfolks outside" act.

Edited by AllisonJenny, Jul 20, 2012 @ 8:46 PM.

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#48788

Analytica49

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 10:15 PM

One of Josh's friends posted this picture of Jim Bob and Michelle kissing at Stonehenge. No wonder everyone was so bored on their tour.


Whenever I see a picture of J'chelle and the Boob kissing, I like to remember that J'chelle explicitly stated in one show (does anyone remember which one?) that her studly hubby has bad breath. So, I imagine J'chelle being confronted by this monstrous swamp breath descending on her. This would explain why she always seems to have her own mouth shut and her lips pursed. She sort of looks pained.

I think it's quite funny that this supposedly loving demonstration of an eternal, god-sanctioned bond is in fact a small daily ordeal for the one on whom it is inflicted.
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#48789

AllisonJenny

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 11:54 PM

Whenever I see a picture of J'chelle and the Boob kissing, I like to remember that J'chelle explicitly stated in one show (does anyone remember which one?) that her studly hubby has bad breath. So, I imagine J'chelle being confronted by this monstrous swamp breath descending on her. This would explain why she always seems to have her own mouth shut and her lips pursed. She sort of looks pained.

I think it's quite funny that this supposedly loving demonstration of an eternal, god-sanctioned bond is in fact a small daily ordeal for the one on whom it is inflicted.


I bet he goes to bed without brushing his teeth quite often (if the dental visits are any indication, they all probably do).

Edited by AllisonJenny, Jul 20, 2012 @ 11:57 PM.

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#48790

PennyE

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 12:31 AM

We encourage the kids to be open and communicate with us about how they feel. A few times when my girls have been getting ready to go out they've said, "Mama, will you pray for me, because I know I'm going to be around some boys and I just want to keep my heart right. I want to have the right response and to not be flirtatious or not have any wrong motives but to really keep it on a friendship level."

OMG, I hope JimBoob has a pretty big bulldozer and dump truck in the back yard to clean up all this BS. I don't care how supposedly modest and religious they are,there is not a teenage girl on earth who is going to say that to her parents. Give it up, Michelle, and get some counseling. There are medications available to cut down on the hallucinatory fantasy tales you are trying to convince yourself of. Totally laughable. Makes for a great comedy routine though; she should be onstage.
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#48791

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 9:45 AM

Sometimes I think that Michelle really believes her own lies. She seems to see herself and Jimbob as both being miniature gods that are above contradiction or reproach. Maybe it's narcissism by proxy with her?
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#48792

StrawburryTarte

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 10:49 AM

We encourage the kids to be open and communicate with us about how they feel. A few times when my girls have been getting ready to go out they've said, "Mama, will you pray for me, because I know I'm going to be around some boys and I just want to keep my heart right. I want to have the right response and to not be flirtatious or not have any wrong motives but to really keep it on a friendship level."

OMG, I hope JimBoob has a pretty big bulldozer and dump truck in the back yard to clean up all this BS. I don't care how supposedly modest and religious they are,there is not a teenage girl on earth who is going to say that to her parents. Give it up, Michelle, and get some counseling. There are medications available to cut down on the hallucinatory fantasy tales you are trying to convince yourself of. Totally laughable. Makes for a great comedy routine though; she should be onstage.


I can only see very sly ones, who are bursting to get out of the house, saying those magic words before hanging on the neck of every boy she sees OR smart ones, who are being sent on group outings to try to get Smuggar clones to court, saying that so they aren't forced into any courtship.

My point is, unless someone has totally drunk the koolaid (maybe Jill or Erin Bates - who will probably both be SAHDs) I cannot see any teenage girl honestly saying that without having some other motives.
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#48793

laissezfaire

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 11:12 AM

Quote
We encourage the kids to be open and communicate with us about how they feel. A few times when my girls have been getting ready to go out they've said, "Mama, will you pray for me, because I know I'm going to be around some boys and I just want to keep my heart right. I want to have the right response and to not be flirtatious or not have any wrong motives but to really keep it on a friendship level."


OMG, I hope JimBoob has a pretty big bulldozer and dump truck in the back yard to clean up all this BS. I don't care how supposedly modest and religious they are,there is not a teenage girl on earth who is going to say that to her parents. Give it up, Michelle, and get some counseling. There are medications available to cut down on the hallucinatory fantasy tales you are trying to convince yourself of. Totally laughable. Makes for a great comedy routine though; she should be onstage.


I thought the same thing. Seriously, what girl or boy says that? I really hope, for the sake of those girls, that it is a giant, steaming pile of bullshit. If not, then I weep for them. To be so brainwashed that they feel serious guilt for even entertaining the notion that they might notice or like a guy is just so sad and unhealthy to me. Mental abuse.
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#48794

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 1:25 PM

Bleech! I got stabby every time she said "season of life"! Do people outside their little circle talk like this?
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#48795

tvmakesmesew

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 2:12 PM

I also go to the store with the girls and we usually get a makeup bag and fill it with lotion, some pretty perfume, and a little face powder -- just an acknowledgment that they're entering a new season of life.


Let's not forget the spray tanner, the eyeshadow, and a home perm kit... "Now Joyanna, you have to understand that your brothers are also entering a 'new season of life' you might want to keep that lotion under lock and key."

We'll go to the area where we get their feminine products and I explain the different products to them ahead of time.


"These are tampons. They are evil defrauding devices that no pure-hearted young woman would ever use."

Edited by tvmakesmesew, Jul 21, 2012 @ 2:18 PM.

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#48796

troublecakes87

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 2:38 PM

I got stabby every time she said "season of life"! Do people outside their little circle talk like this?


My mom does ALL the time... though she is definately not from Arkansas, not QF and not Jichelle. She was raised in a very strict religious upbringing though and I think there are a few bible verses about there being a "season" for everything, so maybe it's just something that gets continually said amongst more fundamentalist circles.

Maybe Michelle did this with her first few girls, but I highly doubt she's leaving the house with any of the kids past the age of 2 to buy something to celebrate something special in their life- that's what buddies are for.
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#48797

AllisonJenny

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 2:39 PM

Bleech! I got stabby every time she said "season of life"! Do people outside their little circle talk like this


I've got this mental image of Michelle standing on Pride Rock from the Lion King, belting out The Season of Life and holding up a baby for everyone to see
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#48798

Jimbob Snip It

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 4:06 PM

I found the perfect t shirt for Miss Log flume. It really highlights her life's purpose.

My link
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#48799

ljohnson2006

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 4:08 PM

I don't need to know how the Duggar's discuss puberty to their kids. I'm surprised if some of the kids haven't walked in on J'Chelle and Boob doing the deed, because they have an open door policy, and obviously do the deed frequently. They're risking their children's health by not getting them proper medical check ups. What if one day, one of the older girls developed breast or cervical cancer, and it was at too advanced of a stage to do anything, because it was caught too late? Would that be God's plan?
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#48800

AllisonJenny

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 4:41 PM

because they have an open door policy, and obviously do the deed frequently.


You forget that Mullet said in the same breath (and I'm paraphrasing) "But if we lock the bedroom door, we're closed for the night. They're on their own. We won't let any of them in"
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#48801

ljohnson2006

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 4:48 PM

So it sounds like the 3 AM open door policy is more Mullet BS and twisting to make it sound like she's mother of the year, when it's obvious that she knows nothing about her kids, and their interests. Face it, Mullet. A good percentage of what you say is BS. We all know it.
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#48802

emjay1116

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 4:59 PM

My heart breaks for these poor kids (and adults!).

Honestly. First of all, I call BS on them taking the kids out for special one on one parent time to explain puberty and all to them. I wonder if it's just pulling them aside for a quick chat, or if this responsibility has also been passed on to the J'Slaves (I was thinking definitely it is, but then I wonder if they'd trust something as important as scaring/shaming their children into never so much as looking at the opposite sex until daddy tells you who you're marrying to the girls or if that is the one thing important enough, besides making the kids, for them to do themselves). But seriously. If poor Jason can only wrangle a quick trip to the hospital cafeteria and gift shop for his freaking birthday, you know none of the kids gets a one on one lunch date and shopping trip with their parent.
Second of all, what's with all this "oh these feelings are completely normal, you're not alone. But you MUST suppress these thoughts! Everybody has these feelings. But you must come confess to us so we can shame/pray it out of you!" crap? Must be so freaking confusing and awful for these kids to get such mixed messages and no encouragement or understand but only shame and fear.
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#48803

ljohnson2006

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 7:39 PM

J'Chelle doesn't know enough about her kids to be able to hold a one on one conversation with them. I'm sure that the four oldest girls probably give the birds and bees talk to their younger sisters. We all know that J'Chelle does none of the parenting, so why does TLC and this "Blog" make it seem like she does? Maybe if J'Chelle wasn't so hell bent on having baby number 20 (It'd really be baby 22, which makes it even worse), she could learn something about her kids, and actually have relationships with them. I feel so bad for the youngest kids. (Jennifer, Jordyn, and Josie). We never see Michelle interact with Jennifer or Jordyn. What memories are they going to have of their mom reading to them, and spending quality time with them? Probably none, because they're raised by an older sister by the time they're able to form memories. This is sad. Why does Michelle make it okay that she's making her older girls raise her younger children? They're not the ones who chose to have 19 children. You did, and you need to start raising them, and let your older girls go off on their own. They can't stay at homme forever. If they do, I hope they resent you for not letting them choose their own paths in life. These kids have no chance to be indivduals, or have careers that will get them anywhere. This is sad!
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#48804

AllisonJenny

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 8:40 PM

We never see Michelle interact with Jennifer or Jordyn. What memories are they going to have of their mom reading to them, and spending quality time with them? Probably none, because they're raised by an older sister by the time they're able to form memories.


I couldn't name any interactions she's truly had with those two. Not unless we count cooing "Yeah, (your sister) she's due on New Year's Day, isn't she ? XD" and trying to coax one to bite an apple in the Biltmore episode.
*ETA: I'm rewatching the Dolly Parton episode. Can I strangle Michelle for her phony "duhr, I don't know nothing 'bout Dolly...ooh, was she in Hee Haw" act ? I loved how she tried pushing the bus with her back, while wearing a nursing baby, a pillow and a nursing cover. Funny how that bad back mysteriously disappeared.

Edited by AllisonJenny, Jul 22, 2012 @ 2:58 AM.

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#48805

Analytica49

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 9:07 PM

Quoting from J'chelle's stupid blog post:

We also talk about the boy/girl feelings that come along with this season of life and how that is a special time and you want to guard your heart to make sure that you are keeping your affections where they need to be and not giving away parts of your heart by emotionally getting attached to individuals, because your future spouse will be the one who you want to give all of those things to.


First, note that she ASSUMES that no child of hers will ever be attracted to a person of the same sex. Imagine how confused, terrified, and even contaminated any Duggar child who is GLBQT would feel.

Second, the mechanics of not "giving away your heart" mystify me. Zack Bates recently had a failed courtship, so is part of his heart now missing? If the Duggar kids heard about his experience, they must be worried. Exactly how and when does one decide when to release one's heart? If even a courtship is not the right time, then when? Only when the person is actually married?

Also, why is love so darn limited? I had several serious romantic loves in my life. That has not prevented me from loving my partner more every year. The longer we are together, the more feelings I have, and the more powerful they are. But in the Duggar worldview, the heart is so darn miserly that it could easily get all used up during what most of us experience as those early girl- or boy- crushes and romances.

I'll pray for them, and I think that talking about it helps the girls to understand that these feelings are normal, that this is a part of life -- you're not strange! This is just the way it is, and all through your life, you have to learn how to deal with these emotions and all these changes that are going on. And I tell them it does get easier as time goes on. But especially at that very beginning stage, it's just so awkward and you think you're the only one who feels these feelings or has these struggles.


WHAT feelings is J'chelle talking about?? Is she talking about sexual feelings? If so, I can't imagine that dealing with them will get easier for the girls "as time goes on". I know the Gothard propaganda seems to suggest that women are not very sexual beings, but the fact is that many women are. If one is continually sexually frustrated--well into one's twenties--I can't imagine that dealing with sexual urges is going to get easier. How the heck could J'chelle know, anyway? She was married at seventeen, wasn't she? Unlike her daughters, who have to do without romance/love/sex for an indefinite period, the end of which is nowhere in sight.

We explain to them that communicating about what you're thinking, what you're feeling, what's going on with you, is an important part of the lifelong lesson of being open and sharing. And that when you open up and share you become a better communicator, and that all of this is going to be transferred one day to your relationship with your spouse.


I can't imagine ever *requiring* my own children, when they were in their teens or early twenties, to talk about their sexual/romantic feelings with me. If they wanted to--and they occasionally did--that was fine. But to require it, to suggest that it's normal, and that without doing so one will not be able to communicate with one's spouse, is just twisted. There IS such a thing as privacy, after all, and young people need it.

I think if J'chelle had been my mother, I'd have been tempted to yell, "Mind your own friggin' business!"
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#48806

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 10:37 PM

WHAT feelings is J'chelle talking about?? Is she talking about sexual feelings? If so, I can't imagine that dealing with them will get easier for the girls "as time goes on". I know the Gothard propaganda seems to suggest that women are not very sexual beings, but the fact is that many women are. If one is continually sexually frustrated--well into one's twenties--I can't imagine that dealing with sexual urges is going to get easier. How the heck could J'chelle know, anyway? She was married at seventeen, wasn't she? Unlike her daughters, who have to do without romance/love/sex for an indefinite period, the end of which is nowhere in sight.


Wow, you nailed it! Can't get any easier watching mom and dad (and yucky older brother & sister in law)neck all the time when you are 20-22 and can't even hold-hands with or kiss a boy. I'd call that torture.
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#48807

StrawburryTarte

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 10:49 PM

Second, the mechanics of not "giving away your heart" mystify me. Zack Bates recently had a failed courtship, so is part of his heart now missing? If the Duggar kids heard about his experience, they must be worried. Exactly how and when does one decide when to release one's heart? If even a courtship is not the right time, then when? Only when the person is actually married?


If a person's heart only has so much love to give, and can't create more, then at what point does a heart run out of love for dozens of children? Grandchildren? People you meet later in life? What happens if a spouse dies and you remarry? I don't understand this concept either.

Does this mean the younger kids, and eventually their children, only get a teensy fraction of love, or none?

I do understand how attaching permanent thoughts of marriage to every boy or girl you think is cute is obsessive and can cause major feelings of rejection, but I think courting instead of casual dating makes the thoughts of permanence, and the low feelings of rejection worse.

Just because you do on dates, it doesn't mean you are obligated to drug induced, one night stand, S&M orgies, LOL. Many people easily keep dates fairly innocent.
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#48808

McKay

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Posted Jul 22, 2012 @ 10:40 AM

You forget that Mullet said in the same breath (and I'm paraphrasing) "But if we lock the bedroom door, we're closed for the night. They're on their own. We won't let any of them in"


So what happens if Jordyn has a nightmare or Johannah comes down with the stomach flu? Tough luck, kid, you missed your window, go learn some self-control? We're working on your replacement kid right now?
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#48809

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Posted Jul 22, 2012 @ 10:42 AM

You forget that Mullet said in the same breath (and I'm paraphrasing) "But if we lock the bedroom door, we're closed for the night. They're on their own. We won't let any of them in"



So what happens if Jordyn has a nightmare or Johannah comes down with the stomach flu? Tough luck, kid, you missed your window, go learn some self-control? We're working on your replacement kid right now?



Go wake up your buddy or sister mom and have them take care of you.
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#48810

iscoffy

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Posted Jul 22, 2012 @ 2:44 PM

Does this mean the younger kids, and eventually their children, only get a teensy fraction of love, or none?


Well, since this seems to be how it is working with this family, you might be on to something.

Edited by iscoffy, Jul 22, 2012 @ 2:44 PM.

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