Jump to content

ANTM Personal Ads


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.

53 replies to this topic

#31

MuShu

MuShu

    Fanatic

Posted May 31, 2006 @ 11:37 AM

[/b]R U MY BABY'S DADDY? SF, short, plain, boring, seeks employed man with Health care benefits to help raise Miracle baby. My lady bits are messed up, so the ideal candidate must be willing to adopt, or have kids of his own. Illegitimate kids preferred, they're easier to cheat on child support. I enjoy being boring, short, and plain. I enjoy spreading gossip, and Rumours about flesh-eating bacteriums. My goals include being the World's first short, boring, plain Supermodel, but I'll settle for a man with a DoubleWide.[b]

Edited by MuShu, May 31, 2006 @ 11:42 AM.


#32

coconut oil

coconut oil

Posted May 31, 2006 @ 7:43 PM

LOOKING FOR A BRAIN for my freakishly large, high cheekboned head.
Prefering if brain has a chip set for "Asian lover" as my current one does not.
Also, if the brain can make me not sound deaf, I'd love that also.
Please email me at IH8AZNMEN@yahoo.com


#33

sweetlilvoice

sweetlilvoice

    Couch Potato

Posted Jun 1, 2006 @ 12:39 PM

DUCKWALKING BOOTY SEEKS LOVER

Must like my funky duckwalk, underwear up the butt, and blending into the background. Must only have a personality off screen. Must dislike clowns, krumping, and roaches. Must enjoy blending into the background and sexy justice. Looking for a man or a woman to make my duckwalking booty jiggle!

#34

Dolphincorn

Dolphincorn

    Fanatic

  • Location:Edmonton, AB, Canada
  • Interests:Laughing at misfortune, rooting for the villians, egging on the bitches.

Posted Sep 25, 2006 @ 10:07 AM

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE: Scrawny stringbeans seek special someones. I'm the tomboy, and she's the girly girl. I like long walks on the beach, and she likes sunsets. I'm not into head games, and she hates fake people . . . err, wait. That's me! I hate fake people, too. Oh crap! Who am I kidding? Even I can't figure out which of us is which.

#35

rustyspigot

rustyspigot

    Fanatic

  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Green Bay, WI
  • Interests:TV and Sarcasm. And I love the bitches.

Posted Sep 27, 2006 @ 5:41 PM

Rock n' Roll Girl Seeks "Like" Minded Individual: Rock! Yeah! Like, totally rocking chick, Rock!, seeks fellow rocker to like ROCK MY WORLD! Inability to complete a full sentence, Rock!, like a plus. Like, you can never be too punk rock for me, baby. ROCK N' ROLL! (devil horns)

#36

Tigerella

Tigerella

    Loyal Viewer

Posted Sep 29, 2006 @ 2:55 PM

Are "Eue" the one?

Likable SBF seeks that special someone who will steal her bed and her heart!

#37

Zzzzzz

Zzzzzz

    Fanatic

Posted Sep 29, 2006 @ 3:26 PM

Can you be cool with me like my 'gurlllllfriends!'

Insanely-likeable sassy but classy gurl. Enjoys pasta and fish cooked by Adrianne Curry, trying French cosmetics and bible-reading. Partner MUST love to shake that BADONKA-DONK!

#38

astroline95

astroline95

    Fanatic

Posted Sep 29, 2006 @ 3:31 PM

TIME IS RUNNING SHORT for this short, short, short, short SF. Must be able to wake me up on time for my lessons for six months of modeling school. Must love Hooters and chain-smoking. If you have the wrong outfit on before we go on a date, you can lean against my short 5'6" body while I help you get your shit together. Must be able to surf the crimson waves with me into eternity.

#39

Dolphincorn

Dolphincorn

    Fanatic

  • Location:Edmonton, AB, Canada
  • Interests:Laughing at misfortune, rooting for the villians, egging on the bitches.

Posted Oct 6, 2006 @ 8:17 AM

SCENT OF A WOMAN: SBF seeks Prince of the Throne for endless phone sex sessions. Must not get off until I'm ready to get off. Strong stomach an asset. BYOFebreze.

#40

Dolphincorn

Dolphincorn

    Fanatic

  • Location:Edmonton, AB, Canada
  • Interests:Laughing at misfortune, rooting for the villians, egging on the bitches.

Posted Oct 28, 2006 @ 1:56 PM

BE MY PROM KING: Perky teen who missed graduation seeks impressionable coed to murder my former mentor. Good pay, easy work. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel. No, that's not right. It'll be like shooting a whale in a kiddie pool.

#41

rustyspigot

rustyspigot

    Fanatic

  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Green Bay, WI
  • Interests:TV and Sarcasm. And I love the bitches.

Posted Dec 12, 2007 @ 6:45 PM

Fun Bitch Seeks Fun Bastard: If you don't answer this ad, that's alright, I didn't really want it answered anyway. Besides, your borderline plus sized and I'm a model. And I'm done.

Tootie seeks Natalie: Hi! Thanks so much for reading my ad, you're so cute! I just want squish you into a ball and stuff you into my pocket! Anywho, self-confident (Thanks T-Zone!), with a vibrant personality young go-getter is looking for someone who I can rollerskate with, hate on Blair with, and help with the kitchen chores for Mrs. Garrett. Must also love car parts in general and also must help in building up my confidence more! Tell me I'm high fashion and I'm yours!

#42

nicenessness

nicenessness

    Stalker

Posted Dec 13, 2007 @ 12:37 AM

Need Not Reply: I was writing this as a joke to make myself laugh. Don't write nothin' to me. If I'd a shut up writing to you, don't write nothin' to me, 'cause I ain't writin' nothin' else to you, and you don't know me like that to be sitting up here gettin' an attitude over writing nothing. If we didn't get our personal ads kicked off for hitting somebody, your ass would be tore up right now, because I ain't wrote shit to you. Otherwise, you must love rainbows.


This is still the best personal ad ever...

#43

TheCustomOfLife

TheCustomOfLife

    Stalker

  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Orange Beach, Alabama
  • Interests:Slummin' it and lovin' it.

Posted Dec 13, 2007 @ 1:36 AM

EAT ONE FOR THE CURRIES: Tall, curvaceous, Indian female for male who will tell me I'm pretty. Patience of Job a plus, because I won't believe you initially...or probably the next 80 times you say it. You will win my heart if you can make me a four-egg omelet with a side of ice cream sandwiches. If you want me to wear my Aishwarya contact lenses, please let me know in advance. And bring your own phone. I hate it when people tie up the line.

Edited by TheCustomOfLife, Dec 13, 2007 @ 1:36 AM.


#44

IsabelPup

IsabelPup

    Couch Potato

  • Location:St. Clair Shores, MI

Posted Dec 13, 2007 @ 8:07 PM

Barbie seeks her very own Ken. Anatomically correct need not apply.

#45

chello

chello

    Channel Surfer

Posted Dec 14, 2007 @ 12:08 AM

HI! I know why I was put on this earth, do you? SWF looking for special someone to realize how gorgeous I am and help me reach my destiny. Love Chinese dresses and things that make me feel fun and fresh, have a love/hate relationship with baby's breath. Applicants must be someone I would like my little sister to look up to.

#46

Dolphincorn

Dolphincorn

    Fanatic

  • Location:Edmonton, AB, Canada
  • Interests:Laughing at misfortune, rooting for the villians, egging on the bitches.

Posted Dec 14, 2007 @ 9:28 AM

HELP ME GET OVER THIS WALL: Standoffish model, all the potential in the world, seeks soul mate. Must aspire to higher standards, including superficiality, faux enthusiasm and obsequiousness. Turn-ons include amateur psychoanalysis sessions. Aww, fuck it! Who am I kidding? I need a cigarette. . .

Edited by Dolphincorn, Dec 14, 2007 @ 9:28 AM.


#47

tawdryhepburn

tawdryhepburn

    Video Archivist

  • Gender:Female
  • Interests:Winner Cycle 3 of America's Next Top TWoP Model, bitchesl!!!!!!

Posted Dec 14, 2007 @ 5:01 PM

40ish married man, professional photographer, television personality ISO hot, pliant, barely legal brown sugar. I will be your daddy.

#48

nicenessness

nicenessness

    Stalker

Posted Dec 14, 2007 @ 5:40 PM

40ish married man, professional photographer, television personality ISO hot, pliant, barely legal brown sugar. I will be your daddy.


Uh, who do I see about replying to this ad? I'm interested.

#49

rustyspigot

rustyspigot

    Fanatic

  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Green Bay, WI
  • Interests:TV and Sarcasm. And I love the bitches.

Posted Aug 26, 2009 @ 6:08 PM

Bump!

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION, I'M FULL OF IT: Future Supermodel/Future Actress/Expectant Mother looking for a mate to sit around the house with me while I wait for the phone to ring with my big break. Laziness, unenthusiasm and an unexplainable sense of entitlement a plus! Turnoffs: Receiving constructive criticism and coffee pots. Let me inspire you!

#50

Spoiled Fruit

Spoiled Fruit

    Loyal Viewer

  • Location:New York City, Chicago, and Los Angeles
  • Interests:Work in the fashion industry. Was initially a stylist, then photographer, and finally a casting director for a handful well-known brands throughout my career. Currently I work with models in conjunction with their agency to coordinate test shoots, coaching, and organizing castings for individual models. I ensure that there are no conflicts in scheduling, assist in marketing models, and deal directly with many clients. Also work as a talent scout for three agencies helping new models get signed and marketed.

Posted Dec 10, 2009 @ 9:00 AM

Bump!

Disenchanted wild girl ISO former child stars to create memories with. Turn ons: being naked, posing nude, and talking with a mouthful of marbles. Turn offs: being outcasted by my former mentors, bible thumping beauty pageant queens, and general hygiene. If you wanna be on top, hit me up!

#51

Revive

Revive

    Fanatic

Posted Dec 12, 2009 @ 11:40 AM

Lil' Bump!

Aspiring model ISO hot males on the short side. Strengths: looking very very young and speaking in a newscaster voice. Needless accessorizing is a must! Turnons: cats, leg warmers, beef noodles. Turnoffs: Deep sea diving, being hugged by 5'10" people in heels while wearing flats.

#52

SSellers

SSellers

    Just Tuned In

Posted May 12, 2010 @ 10:57 PM

Different kind of personal ad : LOL
But I didn't know where else to put it.

It's also a little bit of a poll if anything.

I am THINKING about starting a ANTM ONLY forum, because I love this show and everything about it so much.

If you think it would be a good idea, email me at tmnsheltons@gmail.com.

I really want to know what you guys think.
If it might get a following, I am probably going to do it.


Thanks!

#53

SoNiceToWear

SoNiceToWear

    Loyal Viewer

Posted Jul 5, 2010 @ 5:21 PM

SWP seeks a phun, phriendly phella' who is willing to phulphill my wildest phantasies. My interests include: phishing, kite phlying, and having a dull slash very dull talk over a cup of cophphee. I only like tall guys, so anyone under phive phoot eleven can eph ophph!

#54

SashaVanGenius

SashaVanGenius

    Channel Surfer

  • Gender:Female
  • Location:London, UK

Posted Dec 17, 2011 @ 11:25 AM

Black Gay Female seeks partner to help apply hand grease. Must treat me right - It is very upsetting to an African American woman to walk into a date and have the person treat her incorrectly! It is very inappropriate! This is not a... sorority. I'm sorry, it is a date.

SBF seeks BLACK man. Must not have pink penis resembling raw meat. If you reply to this ad and you have a pink penis I will cut you with my cheekbones.

I was gonna do Nikeysha, but you said to keep it short.