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Everything I Know, I Learned from CSI


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#31

Goldrush Girl

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Posted Jul 17, 2007 @ 1:44 PM

That any photo, however blurry, can be cleaned up on a computer to reveal tiny details such as license plate numbers. Such is the genius of the lovely Archie.

#32

Firecat

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Posted Jul 24, 2007 @ 9:43 AM

I caught a rerun of a old Miama episode last night, where I learned that when confronted with someone driving a car and firing an automatic weapon at your sister-in-law's house, the best way to handle the situation is to climb out of your own vehicle, wave your handgun around, and yell 'Stop, Miami PD!'. Because people with automatic weapons are just so likely to decide that, hey, guy with handgun standing on the street - I better give myself up, rather than filling him full of bullets and driving away really fast.

Alas, the criminal in question didn't pump HoCaine full of lead. But I did get to see Caruso give his 'I can't believe the mere force of my personality wasn't enough to stop this crime!' look.

Also, sun glasses are always appropriate. Even if, say, immediately after you put them on you get into an elevator. Or you're standing belowdecks in a windowless boat.

Edited by Firecat, Jul 24, 2007 @ 9:44 AM.


#33

kingtaran

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Posted Jul 30, 2007 @ 7:07 PM

I've been catching up on episodes I missed, and here's what I learned from CSI:NY's The Ride In.

If a friend collapses with an allergic reaction, the first thing you should do is not call 911 as taught in first aid classes, nor should you go pull out the epi pen he has in his first aid kit that will instantly return him to consciousness. No, the first thing you should do is give mouth to mouth. Even if you might have a deadly contagious disease.

#34

eustice

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Posted Oct 19, 2007 @ 12:08 PM

I learned last night that you should only take plaster casts of foot and tire prints after everyone has traipsed around the crime scene. Also, if you're going to dig up a dead body in a construction site, it helps if a CSI person whose father might have killed the victim is standing by the construction site. I've also learned that CSI's never sleep.

#35

Carabosse

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Posted Nov 9, 2007 @ 3:58 PM

Wear the wrong size shoes when you commit a crime, then when they measure your foot size they can't get you on it.

Actually, they can. Your weight isn't evenly distributed in the shoe, which shows up when they check the tread depth. I think I learned this on CSI...

#36

Stella48

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Posted Mar 23, 2008 @ 5:54 PM

You can still leave fingerprints if you are wearing thin, rubber gloves.

#37

Isilme

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Posted Apr 21, 2008 @ 11:32 AM

"Never go naked on the hotel bedspread."

#38

xtreme

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Posted Apr 22, 2008 @ 2:11 AM

Goth girls date lab geeks, or cheat on their girlfriends with tatoo artists

#39

Bill C

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Posted May 10, 2008 @ 9:43 AM

There is apparently a transwarp conduit which connects Miami to the nation of Brazil.

#40

Constantinople

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Posted Nov 13, 2008 @ 2:55 PM

The daughters of organized crime figures have extremely high mortality rates and die in bizarre fashion.

#41

Trini Girl

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Posted Nov 17, 2008 @ 1:56 AM

I've learned that there's no need to wear a hairnet or tie back your long, flowing locks when collecting/examining evidence. All hairs will magically stay in place, and there's no danger of contaminating a crime scene/evidence.

#42

lurker69

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Posted Apr 24, 2009 @ 11:55 PM

If you hear music while someone is alone in the lab processing evidence, you can fast forward until someone else enters the scene.

#43

Blackkitty

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Posted May 8, 2009 @ 11:24 AM

If I'm an undercover cop, whose partner just had his cover blown and then murdered, do not, I repeat DO NOT, get into my car without inspecting it first!

#44

Constantinople

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Posted Sep 17, 2009 @ 11:29 AM

An acceptance letter from the local university is tantamount to a death certificate (this works with L&O too).

#45

Gladiola

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Posted Oct 18, 2009 @ 4:17 PM

You could die from somebody spiking your drink with Visine.

#46

stekkin

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Posted Jan 27, 2010 @ 4:40 PM

Children of cops & CSIs are more likely to become crooks than cops & CSIs (SEE: offspring of Catherine Willows, Jim Brass, & HoCaine).

#47

John Potts

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Posted Feb 20, 2012 @ 4:15 PM

Every Zip Code (and possibly every street) in the US has its own unique pollen/paint sample/insect that can pinpoint where a crime took place, irrespective of where the body was found.

#48

kirinan

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Posted Feb 23, 2012 @ 8:54 AM

If I am murdered and there is a camera nearby, I should remember to keep my eyes open so the CSIs can see the reflection of the other people in the area in my eyes and thereby find the murderer when they process the film/video.

In Miami, the rain comes from out of the ground upward, as evidenced by the constantly-wet sidewalks and streets with no visible raindrops in the air.

One should always wear an all-white ensemble to a bloody crime scene.