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Perfectly Cromulent Quotes Embiggen the Soul


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#1831

rustyspigot

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Posted Sep 9, 2011 @ 7:47 PM

Curse the man who invented helium! Curse Pierre-Jules-Cesar Janssen!
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#1832

JTMacc99

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Posted Mar 23, 2012 @ 7:32 AM

Grizzly bear underwear!
Turtlenecks, I've got my share...

Edited by JTMacc99, Mar 23, 2012 @ 7:33 AM.

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#1833

EmbiggenedSoul

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Posted Mar 25, 2012 @ 8:13 PM

I just rewatched "Gone Maggie Gone" which had at least one great quote:

Kent Brockman: "Today, Springfield will experience a rare total eclipse of the sun. A solar eclipse is like a woman breast-feeding in a restaurant. It's free, it's beautiful, but under no circumstances should you look at it."
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#1834

JTMacc99

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Posted Apr 1, 2012 @ 4:05 PM

If there is one thing I think we can all agree upon, it is and always has been: "Shut up Flanders."
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#1835

Peace_47

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Posted Apr 11, 2012 @ 8:57 PM

Because tax season is upon us, I was thinking about IRS Burger:

Homer: I'll have four tax burgers, one IRS-wich (withhold the lettuce), four dependent-sized sodas, and a FICA-ccino.
Cashier: Fill out Schedule B. You should receive your burgers in six to eight weeks.

Edited by Peace_47, Apr 11, 2012 @ 8:58 PM.

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#1836

troublecakes87

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Posted May 8, 2012 @ 5:43 PM

My husband uses "That's great Marge. I'm going to go eat some mayonnaise" whenever I start ranting or asking him to do something he doesn't want to do.
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#1837

Spartan Girl

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Posted May 9, 2012 @ 1:17 PM

The one quote that always cracks me up is from when Homer was trying to build his own barbeque grill and messed up the English directions: "Must...use...French...directions. Le Grille? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"
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#1838

JTMacc99

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Posted May 10, 2012 @ 10:40 AM

Le Grille? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

Yep. Still funny.

That whole struggle with the le grille was really funny, even if it was way over the top.


The other day I'm standing in the Quick Chek, waiting for my sandwich to be ready, and wandered over to the refrigerators to see if there was any sort of drink I might want to get. As I moved along from the sodas ($1.89 for a 20 oz. Diet Coke), I noticed a couple shelves worth of single 24 oz. beers. The Rolling Rock was only $0.99; seems fiscally irresponsible to go with the soda, you know?

Anyway, it wasn't too long after I noticed that more than half of the 24 oz beers were cheaper than the sodas when all I could hear in my head was:

Wiggum: "Think you can get this car home?"
Barney: "Sure thing Giant Beer!"

Edited by JTMacc99, May 10, 2012 @ 10:50 AM.

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#1839

Peace_47

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Posted Jul 3, 2012 @ 7:36 PM

Happy 4th of July!

Store Clerk: "Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it."

I love Summer of 4 ft. 2. I have so many favorite quotes from that one. Any time someone mentions a traffic island, I feel compelled to trot this one out:

Flanders: "I was all set to go off on vacation when I get called up for jury duty. Oh, it's a corker of a case. Seems a man drove up onto a traffic island and hit a decorative rowboat full of geraniums. Now they're trying it as a maritime offense."

God, that's funny.

Sweet merciful crap: my car!!
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#1840

beadgirl

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Posted Jul 8, 2012 @ 7:47 PM

"I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out!"
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#1841

JTMacc99

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Posted Jul 9, 2012 @ 9:23 AM

Glad you said it beadgirl. That may be my favorite all time Marge line.

I have a friend who has mentioned that Homer's groan when he walked into Flander's house and saw the little notes on everything is one of his favorite Simpsons moments to this day.

Another line from that episode which I still break out from time to time was:
Lisa dumps the contents of her suitcase on the bed, clothes and all, and heads out.

Homer: [holds Lisa's suitcase] Somebody's traveling light.
Lisa:
Meh. Maybe you're just getting stronger.
Homer: Well, I have been eating more.

Edited by JTMacc99, Jul 9, 2012 @ 9:24 AM.

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#1842

Pol

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Posted Jul 16, 2012 @ 12:52 PM

"Frank Grimes--or Grimey, as he like to be called".

Genius.
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#1843

Batman Beatles

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 1:45 PM

"What have I got to show for it? This briefcase and this...this haircut!"

Poor Grimes...
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#1844

Spartan Girl

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Posted Jul 20, 2012 @ 2:44 PM

Because the new Batman movie comes out today, lets remember the episode where these cult people are trying to suck Homer into believing in The Leader...

"Nananananana Leader! Leader! Leader!"

"Batman! I mean, Leader!"
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#1845

Peace_47

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Posted Jul 21, 2012 @ 11:57 AM

Lisa: [Seeing a silhouette of Homer against a spotlit sky] Is that Dad?
Bart: Either that or Batman has really let himself go.

So I says to Mabel, I says ...
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#1846

Spartan Girl

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Posted Jul 23, 2012 @ 12:41 PM

Homer: I'm normally not a religious man, but if you're up there, save me Superman!
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#1847

JTMacc99

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Posted Jul 23, 2012 @ 1:04 PM

Homer, I have a man here who can help you!

Is it Batman?

No! He's a scientist.

Batman's a scientist.

It's NOT Batman!
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#1848

Peace_47

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Posted Jul 23, 2012 @ 9:15 PM

Bart's ballet teacher: "But so many of your heroes wear tights: Batman, for example, and ... Magellan."
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#1849

AimingforYoko

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Posted Aug 1, 2012 @ 7:28 PM

"These are my only friends: Grownup nerds like Gore Vidal, and even HE'S kissed more boys than I ever will."

"Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls."
RIP Gore Vidal.
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#1850

beadgirl

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Posted Aug 1, 2012 @ 8:28 PM

You beat me to it, AimingforYoko. Sad how my knowledge of art and culture is so informed by Simpsons and Looney Tunes.
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#1851

Peace_47

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Posted Aug 2, 2012 @ 7:04 AM

When I watch the swimming events during the London Olympics, I'm reminded of Homer watching the boycotted 1984 Olympics during the "greatest day of his life" (due to the new baby and the free burger).

Announcer #1: The Americans are the heavy favorites.
Announcer #2: To be fair, most of the other contestants come from countries that don't have swimming pools. [As they show said contestants drowning as soon as they hit the water.]
Announcer #1: Boo hoo, you're breaking my heart!
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#1852

tobiatoo

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Posted Aug 22, 2012 @ 11:44 PM

Announcer #2: To be fair, most of the other contestants come from countries that don't have swimming pools. [As they show said contestants drowning as soon as they hit the water.]

I CANNOT watch an Olympic swimming event without quoting that!
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#1853

Sarcastico

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Posted Oct 22, 2012 @ 11:12 AM

QUIMBY: What, another election? This stupid country.
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#1854

Peace_47

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Posted Oct 27, 2012 @ 7:54 PM

Hmm, Sarcastico. I don't trust Mayor Quimby. "Mayor Quimby supports revolving door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob, a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust Mayor Quimby? Vote Sideshow Bob for Mayor."

It seems that neither Romney nor Obama have hit on the secret to winning the election: abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
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#1855

Batman Beatles

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Posted Oct 29, 2012 @ 10:59 AM

They make me want to vomit in terror!
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#1856

dusang

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Posted Jan 24, 2013 @ 10:41 AM

My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
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#1857

JTMacc99

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Posted Jan 24, 2013 @ 10:53 AM

Still one of the best moments of this show ever. Just absolutely great social satire disguised as a crazy green alien.
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#1858

OldStyleNo10

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Posted Jan 25, 2013 @ 11:52 AM

Agnes: Seymour! The house is on fire!
Skinner: No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
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#1859

Peace_47

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Posted Jan 29, 2013 @ 4:04 AM

Oh, man, I love that entire run, OldStyleNo1. Seymour digging a progressively deeper hole for himself will never not be funny. "It's an Albany expression."

Speaking of Krustyburger-produced steamed hams:

Lou: I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on Friday night.
Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what?
Lou: McDonald's restaurant. Eh, I never heard of it either, but they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Hmm... Must've sprung up over night.

Edited by Peace_47, Jan 29, 2013 @ 4:09 AM.

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#1860

dusang

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Posted Jan 29, 2013 @ 3:49 PM

Oh my God, I love that scene and the continued riff on Pulp Fiction.

Lou: You know, the funniest thing though; it's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example.
Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?
Lou: Mm-hm. They call 'em, "shakes."
Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don't know what you're gettin'.

For the life of me I am unable to memorize "partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages" but I think of the line all the time.
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