141 replies to this topic

[Racj82]

Personally, I haven't really enjoyed the way marriage as been portrayed on television for along time. On television today, people who are married seem to hate each other, argue all the time, and never make love. At this rate I may never get married. For me though, I just wish so many marriages on television weren't so one dimensional. On "King of Queens", you would think the couple on that show hated each other. On "Everyone Love Raymond",their always mean to each other. That goes Ray and Debra and his parents. On "Friends", Monica made fun of Chandler at every oppurtunity and Im supposed to believe it's just friendly ribbing and they really love each other through all the verbal barbs? This is just my feeling on the subject. I'm curious what your thoughts on the portrayal of marriage on television is and what are some of your favorite and least favorite television marriages.

Edited by Racj82, Dec 30, 2005 @ 1:55 AM.

[sweet cheeks]

Oh, you've just touched a good point. I hate the way marriaged are being portrayed on TV. IMO it has a lot to do with the genre the show belongs to. You've given some good examples, and what King Of Queens, Everyone Loved Raymond and Friends have in common is that they're comedy sitcoms, therefore the married couples start making jokes of each other - sometimes brutally - and the audience just finds it funny and doesn't always stop to think how unhealthy this is. And in dramas, every married couple has to go through the world's biggest problems, like cheating on each other, a divorce, etc.

The only married couple on TV that I absolutely adore is Kirsten&Sandy from The OC. In S1 they were just perfect, sometimes fighting but not in an ugly way, even their fights were cute. And even though they've been married for over 20 years, they're still romantic and lovely. In S2, as a part of The OC Slump, the writers tried to test their marriage in a pretty unrealistic way, by bringing Sandy's ex girlfriend from the past and blah blah blah, but I'm grateful that at least they went through this and stayed together, 'cause seriously, I'm so tired of seeing so many divorced and dysfunctional couples on TV.

Edited by sweet cheeks, Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:49 PM.

[murphsully]

This is going back many, many years, but I love the relationship between Caroline and Charles Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie.

[last minute]

I thought Helen and Will from Joan of Arcadia had a pretty good tv marriage. They fought from time to time, and a couple of them got a bit ugly, but overall there was a good balance. They could be so cute together. They loved each other and their kids and were equal partners in the relationship. It wasn't a perfect marriage, but it was far more realistic than most that you see on tv.

[candynecklace]

But KoQ and ELR didn't start out that way. I also really disliked the way the couples eventually became on those shows-I've been calling it "The Deborah Barone Syndrome."

A similar show (that gets no forum posts for some reason) is "Still Standing" which is really kind of good. It's in the genre of "heavy husband, attractive wife" but so far it's escaped the "DB Syndrome." The couple are actually loving and fun with each other. If anything, they kind of mock out their kids.

[YoungAtHeart]

ITA about the Ingalls. The actors worked well together. The Waltons is another good example. Both generations. You never see couples like that on TV any more. Loving, caring, able to tease each other but not be mean. Sigh. I feel like I'm dating myself.

[blodwedd]

Ok, who do we appeal to to get the title of this thread spelled properly?

ETA - yay! thanks!

Edited by blodwedd, Dec 30, 2005 @ 2:00 PM.

[prairiegirl]

Young at heart and murphsully are right. LHOTP and the Waltons are great examples of actual parents working together and loving each other. So many times, the dad is treated as a bozo and mom as bossy and controlling-"Rosanne" leaps to mind-they were for the most part, good parents, but there was little doubt as to who was in charge, IMHO.

[dorabelle]

The only married couple on TV that I absolutely adore is Kirsten&Sandy from The OC. In S1 they were just perfect, sometimes fighting but not in an ugly way, even their fights were cute. And even though they've been married for over 20 years, they're still romantic and lovely. In S2, as a part of The OC Slump, the writers tried to test their marriage in a pretty unrealistic way, by bringing Sandy's ex girlfriend from the past and blah blah blah, but I'm grateful that at least they went through this and stayed together, 'cause seriously, I'm so tired of seeing so many divorced and unfunctional couples on TV.

I love Sandy and Kirsten too, but I think the writers have really lost sight of them, both in S2 and S3. They spent a great deal of time leading up to Kirsten's alcohol problem, then, boom! she goes into rehab, comes out, and perfect husband Sandy doesn't even seem to listen when she makes half-hearted remarks about feeling useless, bored, and at loose ends. The only time I remember her alcoholism being adressed between the two was when Kirsten and Julie were going to hold a charity event and Sandy asked her if she was going to be OK with alcohol being served.

I think one of the problems with portraying marriage on-screen is the perception that 'happy' couples are boring. Bringing in outlandish plots about returning ex-girlfriends and whatnot is kind of self-defeating, IMO, because so often it doesn't address what might realistically be going on in a marriage that would make those exes so attractive at any particular time. Of course, endlessly talk talk talking about relationships is boring to me in its own way, which is one of the reasons I loathed Thirtysomething's Michael and Hope.

[jessicajason]

What about Paul & Jamie Buchman on Mad About You? They had a very realistic marriage, I thought. They bickered sometimes, but were generally very loving, and well suited for one another.

Edited by jessicajason, Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:48 PM.

[IseutLaBrune]

I think it's interesting that the Buchman's seemed to have more serious arguments in the first season, when they were newlyweds. Then things mellowed, and then of course after a few years they had more serious problems leading to a near breakup.

When I got married, I really appreciated that portrayal, because usually newlyweds are depicted as having a perfect, happy, romantic life. I found that being a newlywed, while nice a lot of the time, was also kind of scary. You've just made a huge, lifelong decision, and anything that goes wrong during those first few months seems magnified to a frightening degree. MAY was one of the only shows I've seen that wasn't afraid to show that.

I like that Lynette and Tom on Desperate Housewives still obviously care about each other and are still hot for each other, despite the multiple kids and multiple problems, and the fact that Lynette is kind of an asshole a lot of the time.

[LilWharveyGal]

I always really liked Nancy and Dr. Mike on Ed. You saw them deal with real-life things like in-laws, career vs. family issues, and the loss of their home in a pretty normal way. They had their spats but you could tell they were a loving couple.

It may be too soon to say (God only knows what the flashbacks have in store) but for the moment I adore Bernard and Rose on Lost.

[sweet cheeks]

I love Sandy and Kirsten too, but I think the writers have really lost sight of them, both in S2 and S3.

I agree, although I just see it as one of so many defects that The OC has (don't get me started). But IMO they're still a couple that worths mention.

Oh, and what about Al and Peggy Bundy from Married With Children? Worst. Married. Couple. Ever. The way they were behaving towards each other was just sickening. And the way the husband always said out loud how much he suffered from touching his wife (in front of the kids)... I couldn't watch. I've always found it sad, not funny.

Edited by sweet cheeks, Dec 30, 2005 @ 1:03 PM.

[labprincess]

There are a couple examples of marriage from ST: DS9 (yes, I was totally obsessed with that show) that I actually like:

Everything they showed about Ben Sisko's marriage to his first wife Jennifer (who died) indicated that they had a solid marriage and that he adored her. In the last season, when he marries Kasidy Yates, their relationship also seems supportive and loving.

Miles & Keiko O'Brien: They seemed to fight alot, but always made up by the end of the episode, and it was clear that they loved eachother. When Keiko wanted to go to Bajor to join a team that was studying plant species on the planet, Miles wasn't thrilled about it; but he supported her decison because he knew she was bored on the station and wanted to use her skills as a botanist.
In an episode where Bashir and O'Brien are trapped on a deserted planet and presumed dead, Bashir comments on how he was really looking forward to a party that night because there were going to be beautiful women there. "Not that it would matter to you, because you're married," (or something like that) he says to O'Brien, who replies: "I'm married but I'm not blind! I can still look!" "As long as you don't let your wife see you look," Julian scoffs. He tells Miles that alot of "career officers" think that marriage will hold them back, and they'll miss out on all the "adventure" in Starfleet.
But Miles gives him a lengthy response in support of marriage, concluding that it's the greatest adventure there is, because it's one that you take together.

ETA: Yup, Harrison Fjord, we're talking about the same episode. That's a great one.
And there was an episode I loved where Keiko had gotten back from a long trip, so Miles made an effort to spend time with her, after he had been hanging out with Julian. She finally told him it was ok if he wanted to go play with his "friend." (winkwink, nudgenudge)

Edited by labprincess, Dec 30, 2005 @ 1:16 PM.

[Harrison Fjord]

I love Keiko and Miles. I know a lot of people think Keiko is a shrew, but she really was a good match for Miles. Not many women would be as... understanding... of his relationship with Julian, winkwink, nudgenudge.

But in all seriousness, I think their finest moment as a married couple came in the episode where Miles & Julian were helping the aliens of the week disarm a bunch of technobabble weapons. When everyone on DS9 thinks they're dead and that it's Miles' fault, Keiko keeps insisting that something is wrong about the security video, and finally manages to convince Sisko that the video is a fake and Miles is alive because he's drinking coffee at the wrong time of day, one of those details that "only a wife would notice". Then, when Miles safely returns to the station, she tells him about it and he flatly contradicts her, saying, "I always have a cup at that time. You know that." Funny stuff.

Edited by Harrison Fjord, Dec 30, 2005 @ 1:12 PM.

[ladyrott]

I like the way Emily and Richard are portrayed on Gilmore Girls....at least as far as their marriage goes. They have fights, but they still love one another. She gets mad when his nose is buried in the paper and she is trying to talk to him...he teases her. It's nice.

[Brahmsian]

Have you ever watched Medium, Racj82? You'd love Allison and Joe I think. They're almost always more entertaining than the show's mystery of the week.

Edited by Brahmsian, Dec 30, 2005 @ 2:30 PM.

[Actinolite]

I like the way Emily and Richard are portrayed on Gilmore Girls....at least as far as their marriage goes.

I enjoyed their midlife breakup-and-get-back-together, too. Seemed very naturally done. On the same show, although not seen together nearly enough, Babette and Morey have always seemed to have a very good marriage.

[LlamaSpank]

I always thought Gillian and Peter from Judging Amy portrayed marriage well, especially with going through adoption and their marital issues later on. They have fights but obviously care about each other, and the marriage is shown as evolving as each of them changes. Usually TV doesn't show the way people change and how it changes a marriage.

The less nasty ribbing doesn't bother me; my husband and I rib each other all the time, but it isn't malicious. I think some couples are like that, it depends how they were raised, and both our families do the same thing.

[dustylil]

Among current shows I like Hal and Lois on Malcolm in the Middle they are very flawed individuals and inept as parents but they are devoted to one another.

Going back almost fifty years to the dark ages, I always liked Ward and June Cleaver of Leave It To Beaver. There appeared to be a genuine fondness for one another there that transcended there overly watchful interest in Wally and Beaver.

[SheenieB]

Oh, and what about Al and Peggy Bundy from Married With Children? Worst. Married. Couple. Ever. The way they were behaving towards each other was just sickening. And the way the husband always said out loud how much he suffered from touching his wife (in front of the kids)... I couldn't watch. I've always found it sad, not funny.

Although they were the worst, wasn't that one of the points of the show? Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Married With Children supposed to be the anti "lovey dovey, husband and wife" marriages that were portrayed on sitcoms at the time (i.e. Growing Pains, the Cosby's). Eventhough they were both mean to each other, I do remember at the end of one episode when Al said "I married the prettiest girl in school," or something to that effect. They had their moments. On a sidenote, I did like how MIC showcased, though in a funny way, that marriage isn't all that great sometimes, and shit that you don't expect happens. I'm probably reading too much into it, but here's Al, a guy that was a star football player in high school who married his h.s. sweetheart. Sounds like a recipe for happiness, but in the end, he's miserable, his football career never takes off and he's stuck being a shoe salesman with messed up kids and a lazy wife. That's why I thought that the Al and Peg marriage was interesting because it was the anti happily ever after that most tv show marriages are used to portraying. :Gets off soapbox.:

[VersesBatman]

I always thought Married With Children was a satire myself.

Tim and Jill on Home Improvement bothered me. Tim would tell humiliating stories about Jill on his show, she would get mad, he'd apologize and then in the next ep, he'd do the same thing.

I honestly don't know if I could stay with a man like Tim.

[va32h]

What about Paul & Jamie Buchman on Mad About You? They had a very realistic marriage, I thought. They bickered sometimes, but were generally very loving, and well suited for one another.

Now see, I was going to cite Paul & Jamie as a couple that I really loathed! It might just be a side effect of my very strong dislike for Helen Hunt and her character. But I always thought Jamie was right in the thick of that "shrewish wife constantly making fun of, browbeating, and acting superior to her pussywhipped husband" genre.

I remember being just disgusted at the episodes when Paul & Jamie were both tempted to cheat - she jumped all over Paul for admitting he was attracted to another woman, but totally dismissed the fact that she had kissed some guy.

[labprincess]

A TV marriage that annoys me is Sean and Julia on Nip/Tuck. I wish they would just decide to either end it or get back together for good, instead of going back and forth all the time. But I guess that would take away from the drama of the show.
Julia keeps secrets from him; that Christian is actually Matt's father, and it would seem there's something wrong with her current pregnancy that she's not telling him about. She complains about how her life sucks and blames it on having to give up on her dreams for him, but then quits medical school once she's had the opportunity to go back. She flushes Annie's hamster and lets Matt have sex with his Neo-Nazi girlfriend in her apartment, while she's in the kitchen cooking dinner. Oh, and she starts dating Quentin, an arrogant ass who turns out to be the Carver.
Sean is a borderline alcoholic (imo, anyway) who works all the time. He makes a pass at Grace Santiago, then has an affair with a patient; and while he and Julia are separated, he starts dating Kimber. And parades her around at an event at Annie's school, obviously to upset Julia. He kicks her out of the house and she has to move to a crappy apartment. He almost strangles her when he finds out the truth about Matt. He hits Matt, who takes out a restraining order against him, bringing social services into the whole mess.
Their kids are either f'ed up beyond help, or clearly headed down that road. Matt has only had a few scenes this season where he was actually tolerable; poor little Annie disappears for episodes at a time, and has to spend Christmas at Epcot with a friend's family. And then there's that horrid, wretched Princess Menses episode. *shudder*
No wonder I take such a dim view of marriage ;)

Edited by labprincess, Dec 30, 2005 @ 6:14 PM.

[Eliot]

I think what annoys me about most TV married couples more than anything is the way husbands are always portrayed as if they were clueless children, and wives are the voice of reason who mothers and disciplines the entire famly.

Personally, I don't want children at all. And I certainly don't want to marry one.

[moosepants]

I have always like Hal and Lois as well. They would do anything for each other despite all arguments they have.

[MetropolisGal]

One marriage that I grew to hate was "Dharma and Greg". At first I thought it was a cute show about complete opposites getting together, and as a comedy, I didn't take it too seriously.

But then, Dharma starts taking adult-ed classes, and she ends up kissing her teacher (played by Kevin Sorbo), and she can't understand why her husband, Greg, is PISSED OFF. And then she kisses the guy AGAIN, and she acts like Greg is being evil because he can't trust her and is seriously considering a divorce!

And I'm watching this - and I'm single, mind you - and I'm like, you're fucking cheating on your husband, you dumb bimbo! YES, kissing other people is cheating! He's absolutely right to be pissed! And I stopped watching the show, because, if it had been an episode where Greg kissed another woman, they'd have been in divorce court three episodes later.

I don't like episodes on old shows where the woman is advised to "suck it up" if she catches her husband with another woman, and I don't like it in modern shows when women do the same thing to men.

[pinkmoon]

Have you ever watched Medium, Racj82? You'd love Allison and Joe I think. They're almost always more entertaining than the show's mystery of the week.

I so agree with this! I wouldn't bother at all with Medium if it wasn't for their relationship. I love how, you know, they have sex, are supportive of each other and how the writers aren't afraid of making Joe a jerk sometimes. Very realistic.

[Rychard]

Worst TV marriage ever? Graham and Patty Chase, Angela's parents on My So-Called Life. Patty Chase's attitude alone would send any rational man into the arms of Hallie Lowenthal.

Pretty awesome marriage? Hal and Lois We-Have-No-Last-Name.

Best Marriage We Never Saw: Rose and Charlie on The Golden Girls.