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1-9: "Holiday Show"


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#1

leew261

leew261

Posted Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:02 PM

From the Food Network web site:

Holiday Show

Sandra shows us how to whip up some festive Holiday Treats. Sandra's making a Star of David Food Cake, Classic Holiday Wreath Cake and a Kwanzaa Celebration Cake. Then, we'll see how to make a Christmas Crescent Ring, and Sugar Plum Pops.


An all-time classic, which will be rerun on Sunday, December 4.
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#2

RaindogSarah

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    Just Tuned In

Posted Dec 3, 2005 @ 11:14 PM

*delurks because I'm always looking for the Chanukah stuff*

Star of David Cake = OK
Star of David Angel Food Cake = OK
Star of David Food Cake = really odd name for a cake
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#3

lilyblue

lilyblue

    Couch Potato

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 12:23 AM

Raindog Sarah, Sandy Lee's Star of David Food Cake = NOT OK! Very not ok.
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#4

ubi

ubi

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 3:34 AM

NOTHING is kosher about that cake.
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#5

amnewsboy

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    Fanatic

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 11:36 AM

Ruined cheesecake... culturally offensive... and a conceptually flawed dessert... yep, this episode is like a yearly Christmas present.
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#6

leew261

leew261

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 11:43 AM

I had forgotten just how laughable this episode was. It is packed with so many snarkable moments: the horrific, offensive kakes, the ricotta cheese instead of almond paste comment, the melon baller comment, the desecration of the cheese cake, the salmonella fruit, the "mouthful of creamy deliciousness". When she starts out the episode (while wearing a very unflattering red sweater) by saying "today is going to be absolutely amazing," she is so right, except in the opposite way from how she intended.

Edited by leew261, Dec 4, 2005 @ 11:44 AM.

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#7

Trikywu1

Trikywu1

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 11:47 AM

Excuse me? GURNISH your mulled merlot with cinnamon sticks? GURNISH? It's garnish you blonde dolt!

Just had to get that off my chest. I'm new here, but loving the snark fest that is Semi-Ho's TTWP forum.

What freaks me out about this episode is this. If you are so busy that you need to cut corners in preparing desserts to serve - then why take the time and money to buy an angel cake, frosting, coconut flakes, food dye - then drive over to an arts/crafts shop to pick up faul pearls, a star, kwanza candles and other crap only to haul it to your kitchen to redo all the ingredients which will not only take up money - but time in our busy schedules? I'd rather just buy a cake at the bakery! They do all the work...I don't get the fuss. If I wanted something homemade - I'd just find the time to do it from scratch...it's more satisfying, and at least I know I put aside the time.

And sugaring fruit. Geeez, lets take nature's good, wholesome source, and ruin it with refined sugar. Man, I hope that is only to "gurnish" the table....and not for consumption. There is enough sugar on the buffet board to kill every diabetic in the USA.

Edited by Trikywu1, Dec 4, 2005 @ 11:49 AM.

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#8

thelifestylist

thelifestylist

    Video Archivist

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 11:56 AM

I'm amazed the FoodNetwork is still running this episode with her claiming to put "eggkorns" on the Kwanzaa Kake. And it may be my imagination, but I swear those sunflower seeds aren't shelled.
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#9

Chryss

Chryss

    Video Archivist

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 12:20 PM

First time watching this klassic. And...my G-d. The horror. THE HORROR.

I work at a diversity solutions company...and I can only imagine what would happen if I brought in that Kwaanza cake. OY VEY.

What was that black banner hanging behind her near the window? It looked kinda sorta collegiate, kinda sorta freaky. Anyone?
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#10

Trikywu1

Trikywu1

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 12:22 PM

I think the Kwanza cake had pumpkin seeds and "eggcorns"...but I didn't know that acorns were actually edible. Is there a particular type of acorn that is? I thought they were only edible for squirrels.
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#11

msfurious1

msfurious1

    Couch Potato

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 12:28 PM

Ah yes, a classic.
I loved how she said to add as much blue food coloring (for the star of David AFC) as you like to get the color that you want "to match your decor".
She is an asshat.
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#12

ChgoRed

ChgoRed

    Loyal Viewer

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 12:59 PM

Is there a particular type of acorn that is? I thought they were only edible for squirrels.


They're not actually acorns. They're cornnuts.

And yes, I am dead serious.

Whether Sandy actually knows that they're not acorns has never been determined.
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#13

Ylena

Ylena

    Channel Surfer

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:16 PM

I'd been looking forward to seeing the Kakes of Kultural Insensitivity... but Holy Santa Claus, this episode featured her grossest combination ever. Crescent rolls with jam and marzipan? Big honking chunks of marzipan? I feel so sick right now...

I'm fairly used to her lack of logic, but I absolutely can't fathom how she can think that desecrated cheesecake balls dipped in chocolate magically become sugar plums. Sugar plums are.. well.. plums. And corn nuts aren't acorns.

Yikes.

Edited by Ylena, Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:28 PM.

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#14

leew261

leew261

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:21 PM

It frightens me to think that there may be a Fandra or two out there running out of their trailers to gather up some "egghorns" from under the oak tree to embellish the f'nastic kakes that they are assembling.

Edited by leew261, Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:22 PM.

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#15

blotto

blotto

    Channel Surfer

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:31 PM

NOOOoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISSED it I missed it i cantbelieveiMISSED it. my life sucks. I wanted to tape it and didn't and now, well, my liie is not complete. unless it is going to be rerun on say wednesday or soemthing, does anyone know? i have to stop now before i get electrocuted from crying over my keyboard.
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#16

leew261

leew261

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:43 PM

No need to cry, blotto. It will be repeated Tuesday at 5:30 PM and again on the 17th at 11 AM.
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#17

RaindogSarah

RaindogSarah

    Just Tuned In

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:51 PM

I have to catch it again on Tuesday too, since I fell asleep during one of the commercial breaks... LOL. But at least I got to see the Star of David Food Cake Atrocity before I passed out.

Don't anyone tell her about the tradition of fried foods on Chanukah, lord knows what she'll end up frying. Bagels? Dreidels? Yarmulkes? It could be anything.
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#18

Lizbeth99

Lizbeth99

    Channel Surfer

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 2:52 PM

I haven't watched this epi since it first aired. I forgot how hilarious it was. Yes, I am so stressed out about the holiday that I have to take the time to use a melon baller to destroy a cheesecake that I could have just sliced up and garnished. "My gift to you are these cakes." Ha Ha, where is Customer Service I need a refund!
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#19

ubi

ubi

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 3:18 PM

I'm fairly used to her lack of logic, but I absolutely can't fathom how she can think that desecrated cheesecake balls dipped in chocolate magically become sugar plums. Sugar plums are.. well.. plums.

Apparently she's still unclear of that concept, as evidenced by her latest holiday special.
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#20

Lucygirl2

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Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 5:48 PM

I finally saw this monstrosity of a show. Kwanza cake was all kinds of wrong with the Cornuts & seeds on it along with Apple pie filling & cinnamon Chocolate frosting. I threw up in my mouth a little while I watched this train wreck. Mr. Lucy begs me to not watch her show anymore, he is afraid that something will eventually go hurling toward his precious big screen TV
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#21

Trikywu1

Trikywu1

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 6:30 PM

Cornuts? Oh my ever loving..GOD! See, I'm a novice at cooking. And when one hears a Food Network so called "cook" with one third of a brain call something an eggcorn...ya'd think it was a bastardized pronounciation of acorn. But an eggcorn is a cornut? She's a piece of work.
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#22

TraceyBee

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Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 6:43 PM

I finally got to see this episode!

The Star of David Cake was...I'm sorry, that was just disgusting. Dumping a bunch of marshmallows into the center of an angel food cake, then covering with thick, ultra-sweet frosting? Mondo ick. And the "Star of David" didn't look like any Star of David I've ever seen.

The Kwanzaa Cake was laughable. I can just see people looking at the stupid thing, whispering to each other, "Those aren't Corn Nuts, are they? They couldn't be...could they?" And why would you put those seven huge candles in the cake? Aren't the candles supposed to be lighted with some degree of ceremony, a new candle on each night of the festival, kind of the way the menorah is lit during Chanukah?

I hadn't realized this was the episode where she revealed that she stored away her melon baller for the winter. Because kitchen gadgets are seasonal items, like bathing suits or ski sweaters.

This must have taped before she saw some other chef protect the cake plate with wax paper before frosting the cake. She's so proud of that "tip" in later episodes.

And yet another example of a garnish...excuse me, "gernish"...designed to put out someone's eye.
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#23

leew261

leew261

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 7:23 PM

And when one hears a Food Network so called "cook" with one third of a brain call something an eggcorn...ya'd think it was a bastardized pronounciation of acorn. But an eggcorn is a cornut?


In Sandraland egghorn=acorn, but in the real world egghorn=corn nut.
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#24

Elphaba

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Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 7:32 PM

Thank you all for confirming that those were Corn Nuts. Didn't she say that when this originally aired? Did they edit it out this time? Maybe whoever makes Corn Nuts threatened to sue FN.

What I thought was funny was that she said something about her stepsons (though she called them her husband's sons) came for holiday dinner and she wanted to do something special, but all she had was an angel food cake. Gee, when I want to do something special for guests I know are coming over for an occasion, I, you know, go to the grocery store.
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#25

leew261

leew261

Posted Dec 4, 2005 @ 7:55 PM

Thank you all for confirming that those were Corn Nuts. Didn't she say that when this originally aired? Did they edit it out this time? Maybe whoever makes Corn Nuts threatened to sue FN.


Nope, she just called them acorns. Because she's an idiot.

What I thought was funny was that she said something about her stepsons (though she called them her husband's sons) came for holiday dinner and she wanted to do something special, but all she had was an angel food cake.


I'm sure the stepsons were so very impressed. It was probably the beginning of the end for the Snadra-Wallet marriage.

Edited by leew261, Dec 4, 2005 @ 7:56 PM.

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#26

candynecklace

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Posted Dec 5, 2005 @ 8:18 AM

Boy, those angel food cakes were all kinds of horrible. I was so stunned, I was speechless. What was with the huge candles in the Kwanzaa cake? And what does she have against cheesecake that she's always hacking one up to turn into some weird-ass creation?

She said she stores her melon baller for the winter? I missed that! Heaven help us all.....

I can see sugaring fruit for an accent; I'm sure real chefs have done that a time or two, but that's the only thing I'm allowing from this show.

So glad I found this forum; love reading these comments!
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#27

ubi

ubi

Posted Dec 5, 2005 @ 8:54 AM

What I thought was funny was that she said something about her stepsons (though she called them her husband's sons) came for holiday dinner and she wanted to do something special, but all she had was an angel food cake. Gee, when I want to do something special for guests I know are coming over for an occasion, I, you know, go to the grocery store.

For all the good that would do her, as evidenced in the eps which (allegedly!) showed her at the grocery store.
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#28

DuckyinKy

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Posted Dec 5, 2005 @ 9:17 AM

When she is making the first cake, she puts the pearls around the bottom and says "you know of course these are not edible" to which my 7 year old son looks up from his coloring book and says "you can't eat the cake either, right?"

Ah...from the mouth of babes.
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#29

LynnA

LynnA

    Channel Surfer

Posted Dec 5, 2005 @ 9:28 AM

I think the Kwanza cake had pumpkin seeds and "eggcorns"...but I didn't know that acorns were actually edible. Is there a particular type of acorn that is? I thought they were only edible for squirrels.


Actually acorns are edible, but they have to be mashed in to a paste and soaked to remove the tannins.
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#30

jkt1219

jkt1219

    Couch Potato

Posted Dec 5, 2005 @ 9:53 AM

If you are so busy that you need to cut corners in preparing desserts to serve - then why take the time and money to buy an angel cake, frosting, coconut flakes, food dye - then drive over to an arts/crafts shop to pick up faul pearls, a star, kwanza candles and other crap only to haul it to your kitchen to redo all the ingredients which will not only take up money - but time in our busy schedules? I'd rather just buy a cake at the bakery!

Actually, the Kwanzaa Kake took me only a few minutes (two beers to be exact) to make. And it sure did taste like it. The quality was really directly proporational to the amount of time it took to make. I've linked the page below where I entered my thoughts on the kreation.


Kwanzaa Kake
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