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The Next Food Network Star


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#18451

SunShine Gal

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 1:16 PM

I can see the "On a Stick" idea.

 

"Stuck Pig"?

 

Instead of DDD, how about "Finger Food Flair"? We could refer to it as that eFFFin' show.


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#18452

ThatPoshGirl

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 1:46 PM

Stuck on Food?


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#18453

Oscem

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 1:57 PM

 

Stuck on Food?

 

Pah and Bacon and Liquor...On A Steeeck.

 

(Sorry, was channeling a little Jeff Dunham and Jose Jalapeno...on a steeeeck.)

 

I'm starting to dread the winner. I feel like it's going to be Russell or Rodney. Stacey's just a bad reincarnation of Melissa D'Arabian (and Melissa's a better cook - I've made several of her recipes for a Sunday lunch-type-of-meal.). Damaris isn't going to get Giada's vote because she doesn't have the right anatomy and Giada can't flirt with her. 


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#18454

RealityJunkie10

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 6:56 PM

If they looked at that video and decided "Ooooh, he's got 'it'!!!" then I need to submit a tape. I can give them 'it' in large doses. Heheee!

 

 

 

 

I had "it" once, took a week to clear up.  I'm never going out with that guy again ;)  just kidding



And I've now decided that I'm going to give Rodney's Baltimore shop a visit the next time I'm working in Baltimore. I've been indulging in every Ethiopian restaurant I've found in Baltimore when I'm on an overnight since I adore Ethiopian food, but since I've got to head up in a couple of weeks to do some training and Rodney's shop doesn't look too far from my office and hotel (plus, I'd expense dinner anyway, no matter where I went), I'll give it a try. It's going to take everything I have not to immediately scream "I'M HEE-YA FAH SOME PAH STAHL!" when I walk in, though. 

 

 

 

I got $20 for you if you buy a pie and smash it in Rodney's face a la Three Stooges Style. 

 

I will also cover the cost of the original pie and a replacement pie of your choice.

 

An extra $20 if you smash the pie in his face while he is playing that ridiculous guitar and singing a song.

 

$15 if you go in there and just flick that stupid hat off his head.

 

Cash, check or money order upon proof ;)


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#18455

BusyOctober

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 8:27 PM

I finally stopped watching this stupid show. It just isn't worth the aggrevation. Can't stand Pie Hole's mumbling or that stupid hat on his dough ball head. Russell the "revolutionary sinner" or whatever the fuck his p.o.v is this week, irks. That means one of those idiots will win (for whatever that is worth). I'm flabbergasted that a network that takes itself so seriously is willing to give one of these bafoons a show. But then again - Guy Fieri has been unhinging his jaw and screaming at me for years, so I obviously don't get it. I must not be in FN's demographic.

I'll just keep checking out this forum for your far more entertaining commentary, so snark on, SUCKAHS! Keepin' it Pah Stahl, fo' reals, yo!
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#18456

Kromm

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 8:51 PM

I'm flabbergasted that a network that takes itself so seriously is willing to give one of these bafoons a show.

Well if last year's debacle is any indication, there's no inevitability of a show either.


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#18457

Modernwhimsy

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 9:44 PM

Pah stahl in Flavor Town is off the hook!

That's Money, suckas!
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#18458

Mlle Poilane

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 10:01 PM

  Well if last year's debacle is any indication, there's no inevitability of a show either.

 

We need a show co-hosted by Pah Hole and Justin Warner.  Pah Hole could make a raisin, prune and marshmallow deep-fried pie, and Justin could demonstrate how to make a Grouper Flan with Sea Urchin Roe Sauce.  (Some esteemed chef actually made a dish featuring sea urchin roe last week.)

 

I'm with the poster upthread who analyzed the FF and selected Demaris as the winner.  I agree 100% that she's the only logical choice  ( not that that's a bad thing).  If  Giada hates her, you know she's good, and I've noticed that Giada doesn' t exactly emit warmth around Demaris.  Bobby's flat out in love with her, and she even makes Alton smile.  The judges generally say they like her food, and she great on camera.  She's cute without being glamorous IMHO..  She's also warm and often has her arm around the person who is eliminated.  I love her sense of humor and can almost picture her taking down Guy Fieri.  In my thinking, she's a winner.


Edited by Mlle Poilane, Aug 1, 2013 @ 10:08 PM.

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#18459

gale6482

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 10:55 PM

A friend of mine is vegan and has recently turned me on to some really tasty, healthy vegan options. So I was really rooting for Nikki as I thought her point of view of "Meat on the side," to be really refreshing and something that could be a realistic alternative to trying to get more veggies into your diet without completely alienating meat lovers. It's really too bad that she was not a food authority, other than that she seem to have what it took to make it all they way. Her camera presence was really good as well.

 

Something about Stacey just completely rubs me the wrong way. She just seems to be so disingenuous. Anytime she talks you can tell she wants to seem like she is so sincere and approachable but her face is totally betraying her the whole time, she has this perpetual grimace when she talks that makes her look like a total fake. 

 

Of the rest of them Rodney is grating, and the other male whose name escapes me (see what an impression he has made on me) seems to have way too many flaws for this stage in the game (what is his point of view anyways???). So I guess Demaris is the less of all evils and she could fill that Southern role that is now missing with Paula gone. 

 

So disappointed in this season all around, couldn't they find one contestant that was easier to root for??!!!


Edited by gale6482, Aug 1, 2013 @ 10:56 PM.

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#18460

RobertDeSneero

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 11:22 PM

For some reason, I'm imagining what it would be like if Stacy was smoothly faking here way through the competition with Nikki's POV.


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#18461

RealityJunkie10

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Posted Aug 1, 2013 @ 11:52 PM

So disappointed in this season all around, couldn't they find one contestant that was easier to root for??!!!

 

 

 

 

I like the guy who used to be fat.  Sadly he wasn't going to exploit his former fatness so its all pah style now.


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#18462

jenmarie

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Posted Aug 2, 2013 @ 8:23 AM

For some reason, I'm imagining what it would be like if Stacy was smoothly faking here way through the competition with Nikki's POV.

She might have been more successful at it than Nikki.


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#18463

Oscem

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Posted Aug 2, 2013 @ 10:10 AM

 

I got $20 for you if you buy a pie and smash it in Rodney's face a la Three Stooges Style. 

 

I will also cover the cost of the original pie and a replacement pie of your choice.

 

An extra $20 if you smash the pie in his face while he is playing that ridiculous guitar and singing a song.

 

$15 if you go in there and just flick that stupid hat off his head.

 

Cash, check or money order upon proof ;)

 

 

This is SO on :). I'll have to convince a co-worker to go with me to take pictures :D.

 

I should also take my own guitar (or hell, my ukulele) and tell him I want to jam. But only indie rock or folk music. And then watch his head explode as he tries to remember any non-blues chord progressions. 


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#18464

backformore

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Posted Aug 2, 2013 @ 12:21 PM

 

I should also take my own guitar (or hell, my ukulele) and tell him I want to jam. But only indie rock or folk music. And then watch his head explode as he tries to remember any non-blues chord progressions.

 

Ok - but can you sing an ode to pie while strumming?  Tell him you were inspired to write a song about him.  something with awful, unintelligible lyrics would be best. 

 

Like  -

I used to be (mumble mouth something or other) 

Life was not worthwhile

until (gibberish)

and (more mumbling)

then I found meaning in Pah Stah!

Pah Stahl!

Makes me smile!

Saved my life from being (mumble mumble) 

Now it's all worthwhile!   

Finding meaning, finding me, living life,  in Pah Stahl.

 

(wearing a hat cocked to side is optional)

 

(ETA -  I relinquish all rights to this song which I made up while waiting for my laundry cycle to  finish - anyone is free to be a co-collaborater and claim co-writing credit as long as they make it even worse than it already is)


Edited by backformore, Aug 2, 2013 @ 12:29 PM.

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#18465

Oscem

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Posted Aug 2, 2013 @ 1:55 PM

backformore, you are hilarious! And I'm already setting your song to chords - start off with a Em7 (or, as my son calls it, the SADDEST CHORD EVER!), throw in an Am and Dm, and work my way up to some happy, yet still a bit mournful-sounding Bb and F major chords, then onto the happiest chords ever - G, G7 and C. And then I think we should trademark the song and sell it to FN.

 

This thread is so much more entertaining than the actual show now. 


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#18466

Kathcart

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Posted Aug 2, 2013 @ 3:42 PM

Count me in on the song! I'm a pretty good harmony singer. I mean hahmunna sanguhhhhhmumble.


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#18467

backformore

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Posted Aug 2, 2013 @ 3:43 PM

All right, Oscem,  you and I can be the Lennon and McCartney of bad songs about Food Network Shows. 

 

You take care of the music, I'll contribute lyrics, and we'll nail that sucka!


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#18468

yaga

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Posted Aug 2, 2013 @ 5:25 PM

For those who were wondering about past winner Justin Warner a few pages back, he was recently on Alton Brown's podcast and they do talk about TNFNS among other things


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#18469

katnapped

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 9:17 AM

Why do I have this bad feeling from the commercial (where she says "One of us is gonna be DEVASTATED") that Damaris will be the one going home tomorrow?


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#18470

Kromm

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 10:19 AM

Well if Rodney wins, at least he has a great built in tagline which viewers can tweet or shout back at him.  "Shut your Pie Hole!"


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#18471

LennieB

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 12:56 PM

I SWEAR Pah-Stahl was the Voice-over to the Buitoni NFNS commercial that just aired on TFN during "Mystery Diners"!

 

Stuff me! [Grrr Ramsay Voice]


Edited by LennieB, Aug 3, 2013 @ 1:01 PM.

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#18472

mlp

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 6:06 PM

I SWEAR Pah-Stahl was the Voice-over to the Buitoni NFNS commercial that just aired on TFN during "Mystery Diners"!

 

 

 

At this point, I wouldn't be very surprised.  I've been thinking that FN wouldn't seriously make Rodney a winner then I started seeing commercials for The Shed and began to wonder.  Now I'm seeing previews for BubbaQ.  It's like FN is going after the demographic that watches Honey Boo Boo and Rodney would fit right in.  Now I'm really worried.  I thought they would have learned a lesson from BamaGlama.

 

I'm still rooting for Russell.  I went to Amazon and watched ICA, Garces vs. Jackson, because I wanted to see how Russell fared in his own element away from the constraints of FNS.  He didn't win but he was obviously having a good time and was fun to watch.  He definitely can cook.  At the judges' table, he was totally articulate.  I've thought all along that his odd speech pattern on FNS is a result of him editing himself as he speaks trying to remember and meet all the judges' expectations.  Now I'm sure of it.


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#18473

SinkWriter72

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 8:03 PM

At this point I'm rooting for the people who actually seem to care about food and doing something with it (Demaris, Russell, and previously Nikki).

 

My issue with Rodney is that he doesn't seem to  be listening to the mentors; he just thinks he's the most hilarious, entertaining guy in the world and that should carry him through to win. I don't see him trying harder to convey anything about pies or 'pie style' or his thoughts on food at all. It's actually unfair to compare him to Guy Fieri (in my opinion) because as nutty and over-the-top as Guy can be, at least he gives a damn about the food and actually seems to know about food and have complete thoughts about food. Mr. Pie Guy just thinks everything's 'awesome.' There's no depth there whatsoever. And for all the excitement I had about the show having a pie person competing (because mmmm... pie), he has been such a letdown. He shows no authority whatsoever about making pie. It doesn't matter to me if his shop in Baltimore (or wherever) is successful -- he doesn't show that talent on THIS program.

 

And Stacy... *cut to me heaving a weary sigh*  I rooted for her in the beginning. She seemed sweet and driven. But I have to agree with the mentors in that she isn't making a strong connection. I appreciate the smooth, polished delivery of her stories; she has a presence on screen in ways that others don't. But the problem is, she hasn't opened up beyond that polished delivery. It's like she's the straight A student in the class who wants to do it all exactly as the book says she's supposed to do it and she won't (or can't) let go of her perfectionism in order to relax and have a little fun, enjoy the food, and truly mean what she's saying. There isn't a depth of warmth to her words. It just feels scripted. And that's a shame.

 

On a side note, I was watching the re-airing of last week's episode with the re-doing of the food from that guy's menu, and during the commercial break the Food Network showed brief interviews with the remaining contestants. They were all talking about what they wanted to do in the future. I noticed that Russell seemed to want to do something with food (imagine that), he mentioned wanting to open a restaurant and make it the best he could... meanwhile Stacy and Rodney kept talking about what being a Food Network "STAR!" would do for THEM. Stacy wanted to be a star, just had to be the star, and Rodney wanted to have some sort of bizarre "Pie Force One" in the sky. (Insert my eyeroll here.) But neither of those two talked about food, or wanting to cook and connect with people, or do more with restaurants or anything like that. They just seemed really shallow and pointless. They could be on any competitive program and become a pointless 'STAR!' But they don't seem to give a damn about making good food, so I can't connect with either of them.


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#18474

WickedTuna

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 8:51 PM

Now I'm seeing previews for BubbaQ.

I think Chad, with his dirty looking hair and plaid shirts could have easily been the star of that show.

 

I don't see why they don't have a show for fair food.

There's a new show about fried foods.  That's sort of like fair foods.  I wonder if Rodney with his deep fried whateverthehellitwas will be on.  I was describing Rodney to a friend and they were laughing like crazy and said they had to see the doofus.

 

I guess if I had to root for someone it would be Damaris.  What the hell...let her have 6 episodes.  She's a little too emotional for my liking but I won't be watching anyway.


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#18475

ThatPoshGirl

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 9:26 PM

I can't help but have a soft spot for Russel. He looks and sounds exactly like an older version of my nephew. 


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#18476

WickedTuna

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 9:37 PM

I can't help but have a soft spot for Russel. He looks and sounds exactly like an older version of my nephew.

How old is your nephew?  I love the 3 or 4 year olds in their little mohawks.  They're adorable.  Russell? Not so much. :)

 

Does anyone remember the radio DJ who was on a few seasons ago?  I think it might have even been the season with Jeff Mauro.  He was kind of a hipster cool cat like Rodney.  He went first in his season. LoL.


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#18477

ThatPoshGirl

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 9:49 PM

My nephew is 23, but he doesn't have a mohawk. I kind of wish he did. It would probably look better than the rat's nest he is walking around with now.


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#18478

ramble

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Posted Aug 3, 2013 @ 11:18 PM

I watched half of a rerun of DD&D a day or two ago. I forgot how hard it is to watch Guy shoving food in while talking & chewing. I can barely understand him. If Pie Guy goes all Pie in the Sky & goes on trips to eat pies there is no way I'll be able to understand one word from him as he mumbles his way through a mouthful. Not that I'd be watching. Half of DD&D was enough to remind me why I can't stand the show. If I wanted to see half chewed up food while trying to discern conversation I can visit my kids school at lunchtime.

I like the idea of the title Chef. It seems to get used on FN depending on the whim of the day. Chopped calls everyone Chef. (Makes me think of the "doctor, doctor" scene in Spies Like Us). I think I may start going by Professor. I've "taught" my kids all kinds of stuff. Potty training anyone? So by the arbitrary rules of FN I can be one until I'm not because they change their minds, but till then call me Professor Ramble suckahs!
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#18479

Mlle Poilane

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Posted Aug 4, 2013 @ 12:26 AM

I think I have the answer to Rodney's speaking problems.  I've read that in Hollywood, long long ago, when they couldn't understand an actor, they made him stuff his mouth full of marbles, and then he had to do his lines with those marbles in his mouth.  See what I'm getting at?  Get somebody strong to stuff Pah Man's mouth full of marbles, and make him practice.  They'd better move fast, though, because there isn't much time left. 

 

For Russell, there are two possibilities.  The first is a haircut.  You'd need a couple of strong men to carry him there.  Get him a style like square guys wear -- a nice, straight part down one side, and layered up to the top.  If that doesn't work, get him a chef's toque.  You know, one of those tall, white chef's  hats.  Pull it down nice and tight so he knows it's there, and give him the signal to start.  He'd feel so much like a chef that he'd be bound to deliver something remarkable.

 

For Stacy, give her anything that will make her itch.  The more she moves around, the less snobby she'll be.  The other night, she had her hands clasped in front of her like she was an opera diva ready for a solo.  Itching would keep her moving.

 

For Demaris, nothing.  Nothing at all.  She's already perfect.  Why mess with success?


Edited by Mlle Poilane, Aug 4, 2013 @ 12:26 AM.

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#18480

katnapped

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Posted Aug 4, 2013 @ 6:53 AM

 

For Demaris, nothing.  Nothing at all.  She's already perfect.  Why mess with success?

 

Which equals DEATH according to FN.

 

I'm even more concerned now...



 

meanwhile Stacy and Rodney kept talking about what being a Food Network "STAR!" would do for THEM. Stacy wanted to be a star, just had to be the star, and Rodney wanted to have some sort of bizarre "Pie Force One" in the sky. (Insert my eyeroll here.) But neither of those two talked about food, or wanting to cook and connect with people, or do more with restaurants or anything like that. They just seemed really shallow and pointless.

 

Which makes them shoe-ins for the title considering what FN wants.


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