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(Re) Name the Contestant Threads


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#1

Jacob

Jacob

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 3:52 PM

The performance poll will return next week, but in the meantime let's see if we can't come up with some great new thread titles for the performers. Any threads in this section of the forum, even for people we don't really remember, are eligible.

Frankly, I'm counting on you, because I am lazy and can't think of anything interesting to say about, like, Lindsey Cardinale, for example. Except that I love her, of course, and I can't wait for her solo album -- of jazz standards.

Normally something like this would go in the Entertainment threads, but it's a moderator's privilege to move things around as he sees fit, so I'm pinning it here. I'm thinking we'll give it a week. Surely that's enough time for you guys to be as creative as possible, since I clearly can't be.

On second thought, let's give it until Saturday night, for the first round. You guys are brilliant. Let's see if we can't top ourselves, though.

Edited by Jacob, Mar 20, 2005 @ 1:19 AM.


#2

jmmirman

jmmirman

Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 4:06 PM

Not quite, but...

Lindsey Cardinale: "Pretty as Pie and twice as boring" or
"Pretty as Pie and twice as white bread"
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#3

lightwards

lightwards

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 4:13 PM

Lindsay could be "She Squats While Singing".

Constantine: "ConstantlyKilling2Cats (But I Do It with Love, Baby, Call Me)"

Vonzell: "Paybee V"

Mikalah: "She Drives Me Crazy (But I Can't Help Myself)"

Judd Harris: "Where, Oh Where Have Those Red Pants Gone?"

Edited by lightwards, Mar 17, 2005 @ 8:59 PM.

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#4

jamielah

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 4:21 PM

I can only think of one at the moment:

Carrie Underwood: "The Sleepytime Gal"
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#5

Purplish

Purplish

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:06 PM

Carrie "Okie" (TM somebody brilliant) Underwood

Anwar "Puppies" Robinson

Bo's Whipping Posts

Nikko "The Wizard of Not Ozzie" Smith

Jessica "GMC" Sierra

Mikalah "not a pageant girl" Gordon

Constant "Insert Derogatory Smear Here" Maroulis

Anthony "the singing scar" Federov

Lindsey "unforgettable" Cardinale

Vonzell's Post Office

Nadia "We nevah evah do nuthin' nice and easy" Turner

Scott "the Una-Crooner" (TM somebody on another thread) Savol
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#6

jennifuh

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:07 PM

Carrie Underwood: Baby Farm Animal Eater
Carrie Underwood: I'm so un-excited, and I just can't hide it

Constantine Maroulis: Double your pleasure, double your chin
Constantine Maroulis: If he's faux-rockin', don't come a-knockin'

Scott Savol: Slingblade Sings!

Anwar Robinson: If Lenny Kravitz died and came back as a schoolteacher

Lindsay Cardinale: The e isn't silent

Mikalah Gordon: When bad surgery happens to bad singers
Mikalah Gordon: AKA Barblor Dreschand
Mikalah Gordon: Doin' it for her mom's boobs
Mikalah Gordon: The Shalom Girl

Nikko Smith: Sloppy Seconds
Nikko Smith: Comeback Kid
Nikko Smith: Don't call it a comeback
Nikko Smith: Don't call me Osbourne
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#7

ferretrick

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:09 PM

NotClay: Anthony Federov
"I Almost Died! Ask me how!" Anthony Federov

BabyEating,MicrophoneHumping,PitSmelling,SteamingPileof ConstantCrap
My Big Fat (Ugly & Smelly) Greek Idol-Constantine Maroulis

We Will Never Love You (No Really, We Won't): Carrie Underwood
Carrie "Janis Who?" Underwood

Edited by ferretrick, Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:17 PM.

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#8

happycamper

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:09 PM

Here are some suggestions:

Anthony Federov: Blow Hole
Mr. Robinson's Opus
Bo Bice: Rocker
Carrie Okie: Because Goats Need Loving Too
Constantine Maroulis: Rawker
Jessica Sierra: The Girls Are Back In Town
The Many Faces of Lindsey Cardinale
Mikalah Gordon: A Cautionary Tale
What's Nadia Got To Do With It?
Nikko Smith: Second String
Blazin' It Up With Scott Savol
Vonzell Solomon: Cowgirl with Soul

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#9

windmills

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:10 PM

Carrie Underwood: Carrie-Okie Barbie
or
Carrie Underwood: Carrie-Okie Princess

Constantine Maroulis: Pit Stop
or
Constantine Maroulis: Shower Not Included

Anthony Federov: Clesus Resurrected

Jessica Sierra: The Boys are Back, in Style
or
Jessica Sierra: No Necking Zone

Anwar Robinson: Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
or
Anwar Robinson: This is Your Hair in Dreads

Nikko Smith: Backflipping into the Competition

Didn't someone call Scott the White Velvet Teddy Bear? So his could be Scott Savol: White Velvet Teddy Bear

Edited by windmills, Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:18 PM.

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#10

Miss Aquarius

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:21 PM

My two cents:

Anthony Federov: Hey, who put the Diet Clay in my Capri Sun?

Mikalah Gordon: Bland Drescher

I'm Leaving This Thread for Personal Reasons: Mario Vasquez

Constantine Maroulis: Hardcore Hedwig

Carrie Underwhelming
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#11

BarbC

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:37 PM

Judd "I should have won" Harris

(Wish I had a better one for him. He really was screwed over, IMO.)

Miss Aquarias, I second: "I'm leaving this thread for personal reasons" (Mario Vasquez). So true. So funny!

Anthony "I can't believe I survived another week after that crappy performance" Federov.

Or, conversely, "The Bland Clay for a Blander, Gentler Time."

Lindsay Cardinale: The Squatting Princess

Mikalah Gordon: The Wanna-Be Princess-turned-streetwalker-lookalike

Scott Savol: "Am I Still here?"

Constantine Maroulis: "I Can Sing -- When I Want to -- and won't unless I feel like it." (Shades of Randy Moss, the football player.)

Carrie MisUnderstood (for her fans)

Carrie Underwhelmed (for her enemies)** (I realized how close this was to Miss Aquarius's "Carrie Underwhelming," but I don't think she'll ever improve, thus, underwhelmed)

Carrie Blah (for those who just don't care)

Edited by BarbC, Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:38 PM.

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#12

hollyg9211

hollyg9211

Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:38 PM

Connie - ConstantStain Moronus
Mikkles - MikHATEla
Bo - Bo Bettah Blues
Carrie- Carrie-Okie Unde®serving
Scott - Rueben on White
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#13

jennifuh

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 5:40 PM

Mario Vasquez: I've got a secret!
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#14

ColdGreg

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 6:02 PM

Carrie Underwood: "____________"

Edited by ColdGreg, Mar 17, 2005 @ 6:02 PM.

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#15

mwood25

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 6:28 PM

Constantine Maroulis - I do shower, and I do wash my hair
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#16

Psychobunny

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 6:34 PM

Anthony: Bastard love child of Harry Potter and Volde-aiken

Also, I definitely second "Ruben on white"
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#17

TheDuchess

TheDuchess

Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 6:34 PM

Anwar Robinson - Here's to You, Mr. Robinson

Anthony Federov - Clay 2: Electric Boogaloo
or
Anthony Federov - A Whiter Shade of Pale

Vonzell Solomon - Please Mrs. Postwoman

Constantine Maroulis: He left his band for THIS?!

Mario Vazquez: My Baby's Got a Secret

Scott Savol: Like Ruben, But More Creepy
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#18

cggb

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 6:59 PM

Anthony - It's a Hole White World
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#19

Kalai

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 7:10 PM

Anthony Federov: Hey, who put the Diet Clay in my Capri Sun?

I'm Leaving This Thread for Personal Reasons: Mario Vasquez


Love 'em.
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#20

Phan

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 7:51 PM

I'll give it a go.

Anthony - Hole in One: Anthony "Here I Am Today" Federov
Carrie - Shy or Slut?: Carrie "Underwhere?" Underwood
Constantine - Skreeeeeaghhhhhh: Effing Constantine Maroulis
Mikalah - Shut Up! Oops, Reflex!: Mikalah Gordon
Scott - The Boy Ain't Right: Scott Savol
Vonzell - Paybee V: Vonzell "Baby V" Solomon
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#21

Demian

Demian

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 8:09 PM

Courtesy of tvweb44:

Bo Bice: Helen Hunt With A Soul Patch

#22

Califia

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 8:10 PM

Some people at Sucks have been calling Anatoly "Claycheotomy," which I think is hilarious.
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#23

Kalai

Kalai

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 8:28 PM

Scott: Ruben's brotha from anotha mutha
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#24

CareBear080787

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 8:47 PM

No one has mentioned one of Anthony's more common nicknames, TracheoPotterov. I vote for that.
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#25

SnippyScholar

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 8:51 PM

The FCC Does Not Censor Eye-Fucking: Constantine

Mmmmmm...White Rice and Noodles: Carrie

Step Away from the Fish: Carrie

Twangification: Carrie (from something Kolorado said)

Look! I Have Genitalia: Nikko

Bless Me, Bitches, For I Have Sinned: Mikalah

Clown Girl Must Die: Mikalah

God Has My Back, Baby: Nadia

Yeah, Sure I'll Marry Paula--NOT!: Anwar

Our Man in Black! Leather! Pants!: Bo

Is That a Mike Stand or Are You Just Happy to See Me?: Bo

Gruntled Postal Worker (with Dimples): Vonzell

Edited by SnippyScholar, Mar 18, 2005 @ 12:31 AM.

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#26

jiinkies

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 8:52 PM

Anthony: Almost Clay-mous

Yeah, lame.
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#27

32writer

32writer

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 9:06 PM

Anthony Federov: The Diet Cola of Voldemort
Jessica Sierra: Her Grandma Rocks
Janay “Moustache” Castine
Nikko Smith: Not Your Daddy’s Son
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#28

germwarfare

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 9:27 PM

Constantine: Rent This Space

Anthony: Ukranian Wonder Boy

Bo: Tie Me to Your Whipping Post...Please

Mikalah: Killer Clown from Outer Space

Carrie: Stepford is a Lovely Place
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#29

Kalai

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 9:45 PM

Alive! Singing! In English! Anthony! Fedorov!
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#30

Charlotte

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Posted Mar 17, 2005 @ 10:10 PM

Constantine Maroulis: The Greek God of Grease (tm HamOnWry)

Edited by Charlotte, Mar 17, 2005 @ 10:19 PM.

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