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The Whiny Lesbian Robot Who Says "Remand" A Lot: Princess Serena Southerlyn


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#1

clear

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 4:26 PM

Yep. Still hate her.

But complaining about her is TWoP at its funniest.

#2

Learned Hand

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 4:29 PM

Serena is the prettiest, smartest, bestest ADA ever! And she knows how to solve crimes, she wears pastel sweater sets like they're going out of style (oh, wait), and she volunteers at a soup kitchen every single Thanksgiving. Jack totally wants her, so bad.

Ugh. At least I am finally free to watch the new episodes again now that Elisabot is gone. I think it's "Southerlyn," though, no?

#3

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 4:36 PM

Ooops.

Glark, Learned Hand is right. Can you fix the thread?

Actually, I think they abandoned the pastel twinsets and pearls after the first season, when they went from chracteriseing her as "eager young protege to McCoy, who's fresh-faced and innocent and totally the new Claire Kinkaide" to "smartest, most capable attorney ever, who is a top hostege negotiator, fashion genius, Talmudic scholar, psychic, crusader for the downtrodden and totally the new Jesus."

#4

Benito

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 4:38 PM

Hah. You know the title of the thread COULD have been: "Is this because I'm a lesbian: Serena Southerlyn". But you know... that could always be used for the "best quotes" thread as well if anyone has the energy to make one!

#5

KillingTime

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 4:39 PM

At least we don't have to worry about her making guest appearances as a defense attorney yet.

BRIAR & GRAVES (FOX) - Elizabeth Rohm ("Law & Order") and Charles Mesure ("Boogeyman") will play the title roles of Briar and Graves respectively in the drama pilot, about a hard-living priest (Mesure) who partners with a female doctor (Rohm) to investigate unexplained religious phenomena. Paul Sheuring, Marty Adelstein and Dawn Parouse are behind the project, which is set up at 20th Century Fox Television and the latter duo's Adelstein/Parouse Productions. Dondre Whitfield, Graham Beckel and Angel Desai also star.


I am betting three episodes tops. One for the premier and two more while Fox tries to figure out what to put in its timeslot.

#6

Learned Hand

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 4:40 PM

"smartest, most capable attorney ever, who is a top hostege negotiator, fashion genius, Talmudic scholar, psychic, crusader for the downtrodden and totally the new Jesus."


Heh. You're totally right about the fashion change, but I'm trying to block her later wardrobe out of my mind -- especially that skintight, flesh-colored lace shell thing she'd wear under her suits. Gah!

It wasn't just her wardrobe they changed without ceremony, though. She was supposed to have a corporate background at the beginning -- I remember she'd worked on Wall Street for two years. Then, with no explanation, she turns into an all-public-interest, all-the-time, tireless advocate for human rights. Yeah, okay, fine, people change -- but then she went running in the park with her former law school classmate (and presumably lovah) and proceeded to mock her for working in securities law. WTF?

The Talmudic scholar stuff, btw? Is never going to get old.

#7

captain sam

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 5:07 PM

I have a confession: I kind of liked the Lesbot (and I use that term with affection). I mean, to me she was...pretty...and, er, I didn't really mind her voice (that's just the way that it is; she can't help it; /fanwank)...and ohgodI'mjustgoingtoadmitit--I started watching L&O when she joined the cast because I had leftover good vibes for her from Angel and shh! don't tell anyone. Grah! I'm so embarassed. But I can't help it. She's pretty.

#8

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 6:33 PM

Hey, I also liked Rohm on Angel. But when you act alongside Boreanaz, it's not that hard to look good. When you act alongside Waterson, you'd better come loaded for bear.

#9

kariyaki

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Posted Mar 8, 2005 @ 10:04 PM

Or in her case, loaded with beer. It might have helped her get some emotions out there.

I confess, I also had residual warm fuzzies for her from when she was on Angel. But she was just out of her league on this show.

Edited by kariyaki, Mar 8, 2005 @ 10:06 PM.


#10

rikraq

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Posted Mar 9, 2005 @ 11:22 AM

I love this quote from TV GUIDE:

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?: Elisabeth Rohm has gotten work again. As an actress. The wooden Law & Order alum has been cast in the Fox pilot Briar & Graves, about a priest and a doctor who team up to explain the unexplainable. Like how Rohm got another acting job.



#11

Tarheel

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Posted Mar 9, 2005 @ 1:07 PM

I thought she sucked on Angel, too. Then again, I've only seen Angel maybe two times in my entire life. She happened to be on it, though, and I thought she was just as wooden and lifeless there. I guess when you are involved in a vampire-themed drama lifelessness is somewhat acceptable, but still, I agree with the TV Guide quote. Why do people keep hiring this woman?? Sure she's "pretty" but there are about a zillion other bland blondes in Hollywood. Is she really that good on the casting couch?

#12

Curare

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Posted Mar 9, 2005 @ 1:09 PM

Pretty trumpts talent. One of the many things they don't teach you in school.

#13

Tarheel

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Posted Mar 9, 2005 @ 2:05 PM

Well yeah, that's what I was attempting to say in the last half of that post. There's an awful lot of talentless pretty out there, so I guess what sets her apart is the casting couch? Vague name/face recognition? Who the hell knows.

#14

Mrs Visnjic I Wish

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Posted Mar 9, 2005 @ 2:47 PM

Love the title of this thread.

When you act alongside Waterson, you'd better come loaded for bear.

Or in her case, loaded with beer.

BWAH!

The description for Briar & Graves doesn't sound interesting at all. I don't think I'd even bother to watch it, especially if she's in it. I don't think I can take her wooden acting again.

#15

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Posted Mar 9, 2005 @ 6:55 PM

[small voice] Liked her on angel [/small voice]. There is a certain fascination that you have with craptacular crashes in the making .. I just might watch a couple of epi's of her new series, just to see if she tries to swing it to the other extreme, or just ..

#16

KillingTime

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Posted Mar 9, 2005 @ 7:58 PM

Grah! I'm so embarassed. But I can't help it. She's pretty.

captain sam as much as I hate to admit it, I agree. We can be embarrassed together.

The description for Briar & Graves doesn't sound interesting at all.

This premise sounds very similiar to Mysterious Ways that starred Rae Dawn Chong.

#17

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Posted Mar 10, 2005 @ 7:42 AM

She was just horrible on L&O. Notice how the ratings are now starting to come back up on the show now that she's gone? I still don't understand what Dick Wolf saw in her, it couldn't have been acting talent.

I doubt that her new show will get much viewership. Anyone recall how, when it was announced that she was going to be in the movie Miss Congeniality 2 they tried to make it such a big deal? Now, it's almost like the movie people want to even make it known she is in that movie. I think they want to distance themselves from her.

My opinion - not only is she box office poison but she's TV poison too. I doubt that many will want to watch her in anything new. Except maybe pubescent teens that don't know any better?

I think she used the line "the people request remand" so often is because it was the only line she could remember without having to read it off a cue card.

#18

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Posted Mar 10, 2005 @ 12:57 PM

Pretty trumpts talent. One of the many things they don't teach you in school.


Have you been to school recently? I seem to recall that being a required course in high school. Had it right after wood-shop.

#19

hollydevi

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Posted Mar 12, 2005 @ 4:11 AM

This premise sounds very similiar to Mysterious Ways that starred Rae Dawn Chong.


And Skeet Ulrich's show Miracles or whatever. And that didn't last too long, either. I agree with the three-episode guess.

I liked her later appearances on Angel, her early ones were very wooden but once her father was killed she seemed to get a bit of fire and personality.

I saw maybe four episodes with her in it and only two deliberately because of her -- her first and her last.

#20

kojac97

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Posted Mar 14, 2005 @ 8:53 AM

(embarassed) I used to be a die hard L&O fan, but have recently fallen away.

Suddenly, I heard that Southerlyn was fired, and "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" HUH? Can someone give me a recaplet, and the title of the episode, so I can look for the train wreck in reruns? Thanks!

#21

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Posted Mar 14, 2005 @ 9:27 PM

The episode was "Ain't No Love", the plot was so cookie-cutter and boring, but the very last scene, Branch tells Serena that she's too passionate to make a good ADA, but would be a better defense lawyer. So he fired her. Then, in the single most bizarre moment in TV history, she asks "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" He says no. She says OK.

Yes, I know none of that makes any sense from a storytelling perspective. But she's gone so who cares?

#22

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Posted Mar 14, 2005 @ 9:51 PM

It may also be worth mentioning that even the most HoYay-prone TWePers were not able to find any serious subtexual evidence that she was gay. It was just some random line, based on nothing whatsoever and leading nowhere.

#23

Sing1118

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Posted Mar 14, 2005 @ 9:59 PM

If the A/O shippers and VLFs* from the SVU forum (myself included) can't see it, it's not there. We detected no HoYay (in fact no HetYay either) from Serena whatsoever. It was completely out of left field and we think that Ironbone did it to placate us VLFs who've been begging for years for Olivia Benson to be a lesbian. Plus there are plenty of other fans and even critics of the show who have been vocal about the fact that the franchise had no gay characters. So Ironbone gave us a gratuitous lesbian for all of 15 seconds and now he doesn't ahve to have anymore. Because if he made Olivia a lesbian now, it would be saying that every woman who works in law enforcement is gay, blahblahblahrealismcakes. Basically, he screwed us. And not in a good way.

Plus he just wanted shock factor, which is why I wrote an angry letter back then.

ETA: Maybe 'outraged' was a little strong, but it was how I felt. I probably should've used indignant or something like that, but whatever.

*Vociferous Lesbian Fans

Edited by Sing1118, Mar 14, 2005 @ 10:04 PM.


#24

kojac97

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Posted Mar 15, 2005 @ 1:11 PM

THAT'S IT? One measly line? No wonder I don't bother watching the show any more. Even reruns of Good Eats are better than that.

#25

Sing1118

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Posted Mar 18, 2005 @ 7:57 PM

I apologize to any Serena lovers, but this PC entry is just too fucking funny.

#26

jfdb

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Posted Mar 19, 2005 @ 2:48 AM

Sing, you beat me to the punch(line), but damn if that isn't a fucking funny challenge. There's another L&O entry with Green and Briscoe at the bottom of that page. Priceless.

Also, love the pic they chose for the Bot, she looks so typically blank. heh

#27

canadagirl78

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Posted Mar 22, 2005 @ 11:05 AM

The Bot is gracing the cover of Health magazine this month. No snark to add, just thought a few might like to know.

#28

witchofnovember

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Posted Mar 22, 2005 @ 4:45 PM

The Bot is gracing the cover of Health magazine this month. No snark to add, just thought a few might like to know.


I saw that, canadagirl, and thought "Oh, look! It's Rhombot" and headed in the other direction. Too bad I have a subscription to that mag, because it means I contributed to making that stick think she was important.

#29

Zoned Out

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Posted Mar 22, 2005 @ 7:30 PM

witchofnovember, IIRC the article that went with the picture mentioned how Rohm had been involved with the issue of prostate cancer (she got involved because her boyfriend, some MSNBC anchor, had it) and getting men to get checked before it's too late. Whatever you have to say about Rohm's acting, I give her kudos for getting involved in an important issue like that.

#30

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Posted Mar 29, 2005 @ 11:49 AM

I admit it - I feel bad for the Bot; it seems like she could be at least a half-decent actress if only she could, you know, act. I kind of hope she eventually bags the Hollywood game and turns up in People Magazine a few years from now, under some cutesy teezer text that says "Leaving the small screen behind, Elisabeth Rohm has found her favorite new role: motherhood." Or "teaching inner city youth" or "handcrafting homeopathic lava lamps" or "producing free-range wines on her Napa farm" or "saving the rare North American snipe" or whatever.

My first time seeing the Bot was on One Life To Live back in 1997 or '98. Her intro scene involved talking to her soap dad on a phone after they'd been estranged for a year. The phone really gave a memorable performance, for a dayplayer.