Good lines that involve fuck I have noticed,
Swearengen: "Get a fucking haircut. Looks like your mother fucked a monkey."
Tolliver: "Sayin' questions in that tone and pointin' your finger at me will get you told to fuck yourself."
And not involving fuck:
"Is that a fresh scalp I see hanging from your belt?"
Be Fucked! The Quotes Thread
Started by
Warden
, Feb 01 2005 07:49 PM
442 replies to this topic
#1
Posted Feb 1, 2005 @ 7:49 PM
#2
Posted Feb 1, 2005 @ 8:58 PM
Calamity Jane: “I'm calling on the widow and the little one in her care, and if I was you I wouldn't try to stop me."
EB Farnum: "Be brief."
Calamity Jane: "Be Fucked!"
EB Farnum: "Her gutter mouth, and the widow in an opium stupor. A conversation for the ages.”
There are so many great quotes in this show, one hardly knows where to begin!
ETA: Can't help myself, here's another...
Al Swearengen to Seth Bullock: "Here's my counteroffer to your counteroffer -- go fuck yourself.”
EB Farnum: "Be brief."
Calamity Jane: "Be Fucked!"
EB Farnum: "Her gutter mouth, and the widow in an opium stupor. A conversation for the ages.”
There are so many great quotes in this show, one hardly knows where to begin!
ETA: Can't help myself, here's another...
Al Swearengen to Seth Bullock: "Here's my counteroffer to your counteroffer -- go fuck yourself.”
Edited by elkana, Feb 1, 2005 @ 9:08 PM.
#3
Posted Feb 1, 2005 @ 9:07 PM
one hardly knows where to begin!
I think you got us off to a fine start.
#4
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:01 AM
Al saying "Wild Bill. Breaking my balls from the afterlife" has always cracked me up
#5
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:12 AM
For two weeks now, I've been giggling about Al's "You better have a payin’ dwarf underneath you."
Edited by hcwoodward, Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:18 AM.
#6
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:41 AM
Ahh while nearly every line of dialogue belongs in this thread one of my personal favs is this lovely snarky exchange between Cy And Al lookin down upon the hoopleheads
Al: “Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head, rob 'em, and throw their bodies in the creek."
Cy: "But that would be wrong. ”
Al: “Sometimes I wish we could just hit 'em over the head, rob 'em, and throw their bodies in the creek."
Cy: "But that would be wrong. ”
#7
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 2:11 AM
Al, to Wu: "I sure am glad I taught you that word."
#8
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 8:57 AM
My favorite Al quote of Season 1:
"God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes."
"God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes."
#9
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 9:33 AM
Doc should have won an emmy for this scene alone. Too bad it was in the finale, and just a week or two too late to qualify. Maybe next year.
Doc: If was a more adaptable primate or one of your regular petitioners, I suspect I wouldn’t feel this pain. I guess I—I’d have a wad of cartilage covering the patella, protecting me from this—this discomfort.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, Just Please, God.
Take that Minister.
What conceivable Godly use is his protracted suffering to you? What conceivable Godly use? What conceivable Godly use was the screaming of all those men? Did you, did you need to hear their death agonies to know your—your omnipotence? Mama! Mother find my arm! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy they—they shot my leg off it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad.
Admitting my understanding’s imperfection, trusting that you have a purpose, praying that you consider it served, I beg you to relent. Thy Will Be Done, Amen.
Doc: If was a more adaptable primate or one of your regular petitioners, I suspect I wouldn’t feel this pain. I guess I—I’d have a wad of cartilage covering the patella, protecting me from this—this discomfort.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, Just Please, God.
Take that Minister.
What conceivable Godly use is his protracted suffering to you? What conceivable Godly use? What conceivable Godly use was the screaming of all those men? Did you, did you need to hear their death agonies to know your—your omnipotence? Mama! Mother find my arm! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy they—they shot my leg off it hurts so bad. It hurts so bad.
Admitting my understanding’s imperfection, trusting that you have a purpose, praying that you consider it served, I beg you to relent. Thy Will Be Done, Amen.
#10
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 10:02 AM
Ah, I wish I could remember if this is right! When Al asks Jewel about going to see Doc, and she replies, "I'm knocked up"-- cracks me up every time.
(A question for the Mods, to satisfy my own curiosity: how much can we quote from the show?)
(A question for the Mods, to satisfy my own curiosity: how much can we quote from the show?)
#11
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 10:14 AM
Calamity Jane, as she's being harrassed in the street, "What are you? A fuckin' Adonis?" That one translates surprisingly well in real life situations.
#12
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:37 PM
Al has so many classic quotes, it's hard to choose but this is definitely one of my favs:
“Get the fuck out of here, doc. I'm working on my deployments and flanking maneuvers.”
Any line delivered by CJ is classic. I loved the "Be fucked".
“Get the fuck out of here, doc. I'm working on my deployments and flanking maneuvers.”
Any line delivered by CJ is classic. I loved the "Be fucked".
Edited by mickeyjace, Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:42 PM.
#13
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:47 PM
Smallpox victim . . . "I apologize. I apologize."
CJ . . . "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
CJ . . . "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
#14
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 12:52 PM
One of my Al favorites:
Al: Yeah. Strange, huh, Miles, but – something ya gotta know about specialists – they pay a premium, and they never cause fuckin’ trouble. Sometimes I imagine in my declining years runnin’ a small joint in Manchester, England, catering to specialists exclusive. And to let ‘em know they’re amongst their own, maybe I’ll operate from the corner, hanging upside down like a fuckin’ bat, hmm? Oh, we’re not such bad sorts here, huh Miles?
And this classic exchange, makes me chuckle every time:
Sol: Our stock’s depleted, but we are offering a 100% discount on any item that catches your eye.
Trixie: I’ve got money.
Sol: Our special get-acquainted-with-those-we’d-like-to-get-acquainted-with sale…
And the line without the line. When poor Johnny, without a voice, tries to explain who he's looking for to Doc and puts his thumbs and his index fingers together to form a triangle over his crotch, and Doc simply says "Trixie?"
Al: Yeah. Strange, huh, Miles, but – something ya gotta know about specialists – they pay a premium, and they never cause fuckin’ trouble. Sometimes I imagine in my declining years runnin’ a small joint in Manchester, England, catering to specialists exclusive. And to let ‘em know they’re amongst their own, maybe I’ll operate from the corner, hanging upside down like a fuckin’ bat, hmm? Oh, we’re not such bad sorts here, huh Miles?
And this classic exchange, makes me chuckle every time:
Sol: Our stock’s depleted, but we are offering a 100% discount on any item that catches your eye.
Trixie: I’ve got money.
Sol: Our special get-acquainted-with-those-we’d-like-to-get-acquainted-with sale…
And the line without the line. When poor Johnny, without a voice, tries to explain who he's looking for to Doc and puts his thumbs and his index fingers together to form a triangle over his crotch, and Doc simply says "Trixie?"
#15
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 1:21 PM
Doc (when asking CJ to help run the pest tent): "You can do all your drinking during non-work hours like I do."
#16
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 1:31 PM
One of my favorite scenes and quotes:
Al, in a bad mood, to a cluster of eavesdropping ladies of the night:
"Go on, get fuckin'!!"
Whores scatter.
Al, in a bad mood, to a cluster of eavesdropping ladies of the night:
"Go on, get fuckin'!!"
Whores scatter.
#17
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 1:39 PM
[paraphrase]
Al, when asking EB about his bid to the widow: "Did you take it to the limit, EB?"
EB: "I took it to the limit's precipice . . ."
Al, when asking EB about his bid to the widow: "Did you take it to the limit, EB?"
EB: "I took it to the limit's precipice . . ."
#18
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 4:15 PM
When raising a glass, this is now my favorite toast ever.
"...and fuck us all anyway, for the limber dicked cocksuckers we are."
"...and fuck us all anyway, for the limber dicked cocksuckers we are."
#19
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 6:03 PM
Some of my favorites:
Al: Announcing your plans is a good way to hear god laugh.
Merrick: May I say Dan, having resumed drinking alcohol, I cannot for the life of me understand how I ever could've given it up.
Al: Announcing your plans is a good way to hear god laugh.
Merrick: May I say Dan, having resumed drinking alcohol, I cannot for the life of me understand how I ever could've given it up.
#20
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 6:16 PM
"Free fucking gratis."
I start laughing just thinking about it.
I start laughing just thinking about it.
#21
Posted Feb 2, 2005 @ 11:38 PM
Dusting off a couple of old favorites for our shiny new quotes thread...
Al: EB, steal none of this money.
EB: Gratuitous, hurtful, unnecessary...
Al: Dan, you've really got to learn how to show interest in a girl without murdering another person.
Al: EB, steal none of this money.
EB: Gratuitous, hurtful, unnecessary...
Al: Dan, you've really got to learn how to show interest in a girl without murdering another person.
#22
Posted Feb 3, 2005 @ 9:39 AM
Farnum: "And how did the assay turn out?"
Mrs. Garrett (to Seth): "Is the proper term 'bonanza'?"
Seth nods.
Mrs. Garrett (to Farnum, but not looking at him): "It's a bonanza."
Mrs. Garrett (to Seth): "Is the proper term 'bonanza'?"
Seth nods.
Mrs. Garrett (to Farnum, but not looking at him): "It's a bonanza."
Edited by jm chen, Feb 3, 2005 @ 9:40 AM.
#23
Posted Feb 3, 2005 @ 10:55 AM
After Reverend Smith advises against publicizing the smallpox outbreak in biblical terms:
Al: Yeah, we need to nip that Sodom and Gomorrah shit in the bud.
Al: Yeah, we need to nip that Sodom and Gomorrah shit in the bud.
#24
Posted Feb 3, 2005 @ 1:43 PM
My favorite thing about this show is how many cocksuckas and fucks are tossed into the dialogue, but there's also a twist of 19th century aristocratic airs.
"August beginning to my adiministration. Being locked outside standing next to a degenerate tit-licker"
Farnum is the best mangler of the language. "Your repast awaits your mouth"
"August beginning to my adiministration. Being locked outside standing next to a degenerate tit-licker"
Farnum is the best mangler of the language. "Your repast awaits your mouth"
#25
Posted Feb 4, 2005 @ 9:03 PM
I still can't get over 'Swejin'
That seriously had me rolling off my chair in laughter. I'm going to call my first born Swejin now. lol.
Only one month till the show starts in the states again, hopefully it won't take too long before we get it here in England.
That seriously had me rolling off my chair in laughter. I'm going to call my first born Swejin now. lol.
Only one month till the show starts in the states again, hopefully it won't take too long before we get it here in England.
#26
Posted Feb 5, 2005 @ 4:19 PM
hehe, this one comes from the episode where the two junkies rob the dope shipment...
"Blow me with soap!"
"Blow me with soap!"
#27
Posted Feb 6, 2005 @ 10:44 AM
Here's a good Doc quote. He and Dan are telling Al that Jane has "kidnapped" little Sophie.
"The lunatic that runs with Hickok just absconded with that child."
"The lunatic that runs with Hickok just absconded with that child."
#28
Posted Feb 6, 2005 @ 7:51 PM
This one gets it done for me...reminds me of my work!
Al - “In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another.”
Al - “In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another.”
#29
Posted Feb 7, 2005 @ 12:07 PM
If this thread were to truly contain the best quotes from Deadwood...the entire fucking scripts would be contained herein :P
But this, indeed:
Left me, literally, mouth agape and eyes wide at the poetic and lyrical nuance displayed by the cocksucking writers of this show.
But this, indeed:
Sometimes I imagine in my declining years runnin’ a small joint in Manchester, England, catering to specialists exclusive. And to let ‘em know they’re amongst their own, maybe I’ll operate from the corner, hanging upside down like a fuckin’ bat, hmm?
Left me, literally, mouth agape and eyes wide at the poetic and lyrical nuance displayed by the cocksucking writers of this show.
#30
Posted Feb 7, 2005 @ 1:31 PM
And of course, the ultimate Seth line:
"I'll be the fuckin' Sheriff."
"I'll be the fuckin' Sheriff."
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