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S3: Tana - Bedazzling Isn't Rocket Scientist (Bitch Snatchers Only!)


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#1

spindotdat

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 3:53 AM

Tana, 37, Iowa, Mary Kay consultant, mother of two. Here's her NBC Page.

Her full name is Tana Goertz, although it has been reported as Gertz. She has a personal website that is the most annoying web site I have ever seen for any reality TV show contestant EVER. Including Tana, singing, in a horrible voice.

Tana? Buh-bye!




[Thanks to blackwing and blocked writer for the new thread title!]

Edited by Jacob, Nov 15, 2005 @ 3:48 PM.


#2

Audra

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 8:46 PM

Her husband works for my local news station and goes by Gertz. He's one of our weatherman and seems really nice and funny. His wife? No clue about her but you're right that her website sucks.

#3

Outside Food

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 8:49 PM

Would information such as spotting someone on a task for this (or any other) apprentice go here in the apprentice's thread with spoiler tags, or only on the spoiler thread? I don't see the answer to that in the general information thread, but I'll keep digging all around the forum until my laptop batteries run out and I am forced to--gasp!--actually sit still and watch the opening episode.

edited because (misplaced) parentheses can really muck up a sentence

Edited by Outside Food, Jan 20, 2005 @ 8:53 PM.


#4

pablito

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 10:16 PM

Right now she's an early favorite for me. She's assertive and straight to the point. I can see her going far. Reminds me of Heidi's spunk but without the caked over eyeshadow.

Oh wait, I forgot the pee scene. Eh, she was freaky during that part.

Edited by pablito, Jan 20, 2005 @ 11:17 PM.


#5

Lantern7

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 10:30 PM

She's got teeth. Lots and lots of teeth. And that's all I got. Oh, and the bulldog clawed her hose and peed on her. Good start!

#6

Knick

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 10:33 PM

She looks like some freakish mannikan when she smiled. Boy, a good smile does not HAVE to show both top and bottom teeth.

Hee. And she got peed on. Must mean something.

#7

Knick

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 10:35 PM

Opps. The shiny teeth scared me into double posting.

Edited by Knick, Jan 20, 2005 @ 10:36 PM.


#8

Red Bubbles

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 10:36 PM

What a sourpuss. I never saw anything from her but that big fake teethy smile or a grimace. I was totally rooting for the dogs.

#9

Sophist

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 11:02 PM

She honks.

#10

Rina99

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 11:18 PM

For some reason, everytime I saw or heard her name, I thought "Tanky" instead, and that's what I call her. Other than that, the jury's out.

#11

MediaGenius

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Posted Jan 20, 2005 @ 11:21 PM

Drag queen. She's just haggard and weathered looking. Is she the Mary Kay sales person, because if so, she needs to learn her colors. That garrish red lipstick with her bleached, frosted hair? Yecch.

#12

stinkylulu

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 1:00 AM

She is one of the top saleswomen for Mary Kay. WHAT an advertisement.

#13

EmeraldE

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 2:29 AM

uhhhh....can you say "OVER ACTOR". Something is very weird or fake about her. Is she for real???

#14

spindotdat

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 3:02 AM

Outside Food, I suggest you put it in the Spoiler Thread, rather than here.

#15

reallybigfreak

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 10:15 AM

I know Tana personally. Not good friends by any stretch, but she isn't a top salesperson of anything. What she does sell is knock-off Kate Spade bags out of her basement. You heard me. When I heard she was going to be on the show I was absolutely shocked. The best and the brightest? No.

#16

jennifuh

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 11:04 AM

How in the hell is this woman on this show? She must be primed for a major breakdown. That website is beyond obnoxious and I'm glad she got peed on.

#17

emzily

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 11:32 AM

Gah, I hated her. I hope she goes soon. Of course if this season is anything like last she'll hang around until each week I start screaming at my television "I don't care who screwed up, fire TANA!!!"

#18

jane ire

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 2:14 PM

All this and she looks like Joan Cusack.... Except I kind of like Joan Cusack.

Now I really owe Joan Cusack an apology.

#19

whitechocolate

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 3:30 PM

Tana has got the most blinding smile ever, seeing all those teeth scares me. She did well on the first task, convincing the customer to buy the special burger was a good move, especially with George watching you. I think she can cross the line from go-getter to being obnoxious.

#20

MediaGenius

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 3:36 PM

Dear God...what a craptastic website. And all the browsers and pop-ups show how ignorant she is to her own obnoxiousness. That whole "Yeah" arm pump thing is ridiculous. And her outfits..."Hey, Tana?" Get a girdle.

#21

GenerationX

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 3:49 PM

My only regret in her getting peed on was that it didn't happen later in the series, when I will loathe her very existence on my TV.

#22

goobaletta

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 3:51 PM

Maybe MB arranged it so she gets peed on in every episode.

Heh. I just cracked myself up.

Edited by goobaletta, Jan 21, 2005 @ 3:52 PM.


#23

Zivra

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 7:00 PM

What she does sell is knock-off Kate Spade bags out of her basement.

Not a storefront?! The horror!

Good dog.

#24

Batskeets

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 7:23 PM

That web site? Makes me want to burn out my own retinas.

#25

marylou

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 8:03 PM

Her boobies scare me more than Angelina Jolie's lips.

No, really.

#26

lonelyteardrop

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 10:46 PM

Tana? Not bugging yet altho it is still early. I actually liked her enthusiasm for the project, maybe just because she seemed like she was having fun with workin' the register & trying to promo the product. (Atkins confession: I've been craving BK for 2 days now, woe to my local In-N-Out!)

Tana's Web site & personality remind me of those of most MLM salespeople: in your face, proud of the job & not ashamed to say so. I once worked at the corporate HQ of an int'l MLM org (not in sales, O hell no!) & the salespeople all endlessly used words like 'triumph', 'momentum', 'achieve' & 'positive' (or worse, 'positivity').

Do I think she'll win? Not a chance. Were Trumpy to select a salesperson for the position I think it would be someone from real estate not cosmetics (plus a spouse with his own career & the kids may be viewed as a liability even if DT would never cop to it.)

As for Humpy the Bulldog, in all fairness to Tana (& this comes from a total dog lover), if a strange canine were jumping up, shagging my leg & pissing at my feet, I'd be less than loving it.

#27

winta9099

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 11:15 PM

She looks like the shark from Finding Nemo..what was his name??

#28

emzily

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Posted Jan 21, 2005 @ 11:42 PM

Ah ha! Right on. I think it's Bruce.

#29

Dezbot

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Posted Jan 22, 2005 @ 2:34 AM

She honks.


ITA. She blows, sucks, honks, grates, and blinds (with her shiny teeth). The only thing that would make me like her at this point is if she beaks out into a rousing chorus of "My Shiny Teeth and Me" with Chip Skylark (tm Fairly Oddparents).

I owe that dog a doggie treat for a peeing on her. HA HA!

#30

gapkid

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Posted Jan 22, 2005 @ 7:00 AM

She didn't annoy me that much on the one episode, but dear God, that website is awful. Is it possible to hate someone just because of their personal website?