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Table for 1,000: The Meet Market


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#1

Glark

Glark

Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 5:34 AM

Talky!

We hope you like your new digs. Sorry for any confusion/misery from the on/off recap stuff. Now you can spread the talk over various threads. So go start episode threads (see FAQ for format), personality threads, media threads, etc.

Happy hunting.
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#2

sabi

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 6:59 AM

Holy Fuck! Look at all the space we have to snark. Happy as a pig in shit or Sandra Lee's new pork and chocolate truffle recipes. Wheeee!
Glark this is not a good thing. Most of us have serious issues with Semi-Ho addiction.
Morning y'all and good on ubi.
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#3

beezer

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 7:22 AM

How cool! Thanks Glark and gang, this rocks. Whoot, Sistah it's roomy!

I'd offer to put out the drinks for once everyone gets here, but Sandy might come and I don't have that much booze. So, in the tradition of MM threads, hi, I'm beez, I watch the SLop in horrified fascination and glee. I can also be found in nearly any trashy-ass reality show forum and the TAR threads.

My "favourite" SLop recipe is a tie between the Kwanzaa cake and the Porcine Bloomin' Onion. Oh and the truffles.
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#4

leew261

leew261

Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 8:37 AM

Holy smokes, this is a surprise! I wonder if Snadra will think she's hit the big time since her show has multiple treads. Because she really shouldn't think that.

My name is leew261 and I became addicted to Snadra because I noticed how many posts there were in the old thread, became curious, read the posts, said to myself "I've got to see this," watched the show once and vi-o-la! I found TWoP because of the Amazing Race thread -- still a big fan of that show despite the recent casting problem. I also post in a smattering of other threads.

It's tough picking Snadra's all-time greatest hits because there is just so much awfulness to choose from, but if forced I would say the ribs that were boiled to death, the nasty ungrilled bratwurst and, of course, the Kwanzaa cake, although the Rum Ricotta Cake is almost as vile. Oh, and any drink that has stuff floating in it.

Edited by leew261, Jan 9, 2005 @ 9:00 AM.

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#5

Lucygirl2

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 9:06 AM

Glark totally Rocks!!!

I feel like we've moved from a studio apartment into a mansion!!

Where is the bar? you know Snadra has a bar in this place? LOL
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#6

glstx

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 9:48 AM

Whoot Sista! Hi, I'm glstx also known as Genie. I found this thread when I saw the truffles made of canned frosting and was emailing a friend about it. He sent me a screencap of the TWoP thread and I said, hey, I recognize that! Looked around and viola, pages and pages of snark.
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#7

anniebird

anniebird

Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 10:46 AM

Well, isn't this deluxe? I'm with ya leew261 - I hope Sandra never finds out about it because you just know she'll think she got this because she's so fabulous.
I've got the DVR set to record this morning's show - I know it's an old one, but I can't specifically remember it, so I expect to enjoy it as if it were new.
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#8

PornQueen

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 10:55 AM

Wow, thank you Glark! This rules!

There's enough room in here to get whacked on sloptails, stumble around and not knock anybody over! Whoot! Sistah!

I'm PornQueen, I'm almost 35 and I have grey hair. I am a lesbian in a long term relationship (going on 12 years!) with my wonderful, beautiful, incredibly wickedly smart wife, who has many wonderful talents but cooking isn't one of them. My ex sister-in-law lives with us (she married my older brother, he changed his mind, they got divorced, we became best friends, many moons later, she moved in with us) who is also legally blind. So sometimes I'm a chauffer! And a reader for her. We live in the middle of the county, Omaha Nebraska. Yee-haw. We have 2 dogs and 3 cats, cause we are crazy that way.

I have been an anti-SLop since waaaaay back from practically the begining, like I think, page 2 of the old forum. I have experimented with some of her "recipes", they don't work. I currently have 8, yes, 8 episodes logged into my TiFaux. For research and snark purposes I assure you.

I do own a KitchenAid mixer, in basic white. I haven't changed my kitchen curtains since I moved into my house almost 5 years ago (they have been taken down and washed, but other than that, they stay the same every day, every week). I do not feel the need to experiment with matching my kitchen decor to my clothing. My tablescapes generally involve a salt/pepper shaker, the daily mail, dishes that need to be put away and medications. Never has a ratty pheasant graced my table. I have alcohol in the house, but it's covered in dust because I imbide so infrequently.

I'm dieting and so is my wife. We have been low carbing, but I think we are moving on to something else, cause we seem to have stalled out on that front after 40 lbs of weight loss (oh, and the holidays). I purchase fresh fruits and vegetables! I use my melon baler in the off season! I only own 2 pitchers! I haven't got a collection of cocktail glasses! There is no canned icing in my pantry and I haven't had an angel food cake in over a year!

Edited by PornQueen, Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:08 AM.

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#9

anniebird

anniebird

Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:02 AM

Oh goody! This is one of the shows where Miss Stephanie gets emotionally abused by Aunt Sandy!

She just said to "lather" the butter all over the dough - I think she meant "slather".

Edited by anniebird, Jul 9, 2005 @ 1:21 PM.

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#10

indybear

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:12 AM

Many thanks to Glark! Our own Meet Market!

I'm indybear, I'm 49 and married. No kids, but two cats (and never more than two). We live in Indianapolis (hence the indy). I do have a white KA mixer, an older model my brother got for me when he worked at a hardware store. I don't have kitchen curtains, just plants on the windowsill. Our house backs up to woods, so I don't really need curtains for privacy. Given where our table is, my tablescape usually involves folded laundry and mail - definitely no molting pheasants. We have no cocktail glasses but I do have three pitchers (one a Spode Christmas Tree pitcher that's only used in November and December). I grow tomatoes and cucumbers, but don't have a grape garden.

Edited by indybear, Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:27 AM.

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#11

keeperrox

keeperrox

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:14 AM

Oh.MY.GOD. I'm not on for a couple of days, dealing with a family crisis, and I come back to this!!! It's like coming home to a Semi-Ho makeover. Okay, maybe not. But thanks a lot Glark, et. al. This will take a while to get used to, but it's awesome.
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#12

heebiejeebie

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:26 AM

Weezie!!! We have moved on up!
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#13

anniebird

anniebird

Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:32 AM

Ooh, ooh - is this where we get to introduce ourselves?
I've been married for 35 years (longer than some of you have been on earth) and I'm straight but some of my best friends are lesbians who hate Sandra Lee. I'm a retired airline employee - I now work one day a week for an accountant, volunteer one day a week for the Free Clinic, and make baby quilts for a non-profit here in town.
I've got 2 grown sons - the older one is a financial consultant, the younger one is a professional chef so he and I talk food a LOT. I love to cook and I'm always trying new recipes but I never "tablescape". I have a KitchenAid mixer and food processor and I think the best timesavers of all are proper equipment. I use shredded cheese but frozen chopped onions are slimy - you learn, through experimentation, which short cuts are acceptable and don't change the integrity of the food, and which are just disgusting. (When I say "you", I mean you guys - Sandra obviously has never learned this.)
In our house, we drink beer and wine - the liquor cabinet mostly stays unopened unless our neighbor comes over and makes some of his wonderful martinis - and these are real martinis, they're not anything else -tinis.
My favorite Food TV chef is Paula Deen - I love her and a lot of her recipes. I also like some of Rachael Ray's recipes although you really can't make them in 30 minutes as she claims you can, and sometimes I want to go through the TV and slap the perky out of her.
That's about it - nice to meet you all after hanging out together for so long.
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#14

GraydonCarter

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:41 AM

Like leew261 I watched the show (just now, today) mostly because I read the snarky TWoP Forum and said, I gotta see this.

Now I'm a guy, but I probably watch the Food Network more than ESPN. So I caught Sandra the other day and watched her simply because, and I hope you ladies will forgive me for saying this, but I watched her simply because of those marvelous (bagels), with the volumn on mute. I once knew a slender woman with those same pouty (bagels) and my wife - of course - said they were just implants.

Anywho, today, with the volume turned up, I watched and thought the content was a little simple, even for a novice cook like me. It reminds me of the Hints From Heloise column where a reader wrote in to say, "Instead of using plastic garbage bags, you can re-use those brown paper bags from the grocery store to throw away kitchen garbage like paper plates and napkins." I was like, duh.

Also Sandra with her daughter reminds me a lot of the manipulative tone Martha Stewart carries. Perhaps the food network was looking for a Martha Stewart replacement. And I think they may have found her. I hope her daughter doesn't turn out too messed up in the head.
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#15

leew261

leew261

Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:46 AM

Graydon Carter, that's not her daughter, it's her niece, Miss Stephanie. She been on a couple of shows and always seems as thrilled as she did today. Wait until you see the Ice Cream Bomb! Another classic.
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#16

indybear

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:46 AM

Sorry, Graydon, but that's not her daughter - SLop is a trophy wife, and the Wallet had already had his quota of kids with Mrs. Wallet#1. That's Stephanie, her niece, AKA the little kid who's already much smarter than Aunt Sandy.

ETA: leew261 beat me! You have to be fast on this thread.

Edited by indybear, Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:48 AM.

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#17

PornQueen

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:47 AM

GraydonCarter nice to meet you! But, that's not her daughter, that's her niece. Snady has no children, thank the maker.

And I laugh at the

I watched her simply because of those marvelous (bagels), with the volumn on mute

cause I can totally get why you would do this. But the snark, is so much better with the sound on, cause then you get to go, what? did she just say that? and OMG no, not that!

eta: I'm slow too...

Edited by PornQueen, Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:48 AM.

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#18

TexasTallGal

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:48 AM

Thanks, Glark, for our own forum. I was thinking that we needed this very thing just yesterday.

I've been a TWoPer for ages and ages. I got my start in the Trading Spaces forum but discovered the horror that is Shamdra because of this thread. Now I can't stay away!
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#19

Kathana

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:52 AM

I'm Kathana. I live in Atlanta, with my husband of 18 months and I am a recent graduate with a degree in middle school science education. When I did my student teaching many of my students were also FN fanatics, so we had a great time talking about how much science chefs need to know and how the stuff we did in lab would make them better cooks. Sometimes I think Sandra needs to come sit in one of my classes for about a week or so.
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#20

4Sibes

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:52 AM

I'm 38, female, and I live outside of Columbia, MO with my 4 Siberian huskies and 1 Akita/Sibe cross. I moved outside of the city more than a year ago and did without cable for just about that long. A friend of mine kept telling me what I was missing out on, so I got a dish a few months ago. She had told me about SLop, but I couldn't comprehend.

I most enjoy Alton Brown for knowledge sake and SLop for comic relief.

I run a temporary staffing company, but I got my degree in English.

I'd like there to be a tv show like Mystery Science Theatre where TwoPsters make fun of SLop. I'd like the show to be called Gag Reflex .

Edited by 4Sibes, Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:04 PM.

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#21

keeperrox

keeperrox

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:58 AM

Hey all (again), I'm keeperrox, some of you know me, some of you don't. I'm a 23 year old, Social Studies teaching, Sandra Lee hater. I actually made a SLop "recipe" before coming here. I hadn't watched an episode, but I made her Frosty Lemon Chiffon Pie. After one bite, it wound up in the trash, and I came searching for all of you wonderful people, who already had about 300 pages of snark for me to read. Like I said before, this is going to take a while to get used to, but it's going to be great!

Edited by keeperrox, Jan 9, 2005 @ 1:16 PM.

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#22

peggybetty

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 11:59 AM

Hi all! I'm a 35 (36 on Jan 16th) married mother of 2. One boy 4 1/2 and girl 3. My daughter is developmentally disabled but the joy of my life. My husband thinks I am having an affair online because of all the time I spend here. Oh well he didnt have to get me a new computer for Christmas.
I am a Medical Laboratory Technician in a blood bank and reside in NJ. I dont have much of a life.
Like many of you my tablescape consists of unfolded laundry and miscellaneous pieces of crap. I have never made a sloptail but do drink wine. I found TWoP through the old FN message boards. Out of curiosity one day I went to see if Sandra Lee had any fans because I hate her so much. Thank God I did.
This is going to be hard to get used to but so much fun! Thanks Glark!!

Edited by peggybetty, Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:00 PM.

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#23

amnewsboy

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:05 PM

Glark, a humble thank you.

OK, I'm AMNewsboy, a 28 yo gay male news producer in Kansas City.

I'm the one who keeps posting ridiculous PCs involving Sandra and videos as well.
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#24

Shnuglet

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:14 PM

Hi, guys! Yeah, I'm resistant to change, so I must learn to adjust to this Glark innovation (although I just might try taking ubi on as a recapper for a new creative challenge!).

I'm Shnuglet (the "u" is pronounced like the "oo" in "booklet"), I'm 43, live in Brooklyn Heights, have been 5 years with a marvelous boyfriend, and am a writer and graphic designer specializing in publications like newsletters. I work in the press office of a politician, but for absolution, I do a lot of volunteer PR work for charitable groups, like a no-kill animal rescue shelter (Shnuglet is one of my own pup's many nicknames).

I learned about SLop after reading about her in the paper and not believing she could be real. Then I discovered TWoP--through Googling something else, like so many others--and knew I had found my community (I do not deny my general TV addiction. I would get HGTV, Judge Judy and episodes of the original Law & Order introduced intravenously if that were possible.)
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#25

Elphaba

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:21 PM

Whee! Thanks, Glark!

I've been here since the beginning as well. I thought I was the first person to mention her droopy old puddin' cups, but since I didn't post on the first day, someone beat me to it. I said I was done with the show since she said "Who cares" about using dry vs. wet measuring cups, but I'm in the habit of watching Food Network during Sunday morning newpaper reading and coffee, so I've caught a couple of episodes again (not the (un)healthy one yet, but I will just to hear the olive oil blather).

I watched the show before I found the thread and kept thinking since it was on the Food Network, it musn't be as bad as I thought it was. As a matter of fact, when I first watched it, I was excited, because I'd stopped cooking due to illness and some functional losses and thought the semi-homemade concept could help me. Instead, watching RR and Paula and Alton and Ina and Giada and everyone but SLop got me back to cooking.

I'm 43, live just outside of Boston with my wonderful husband (who can't cook but sure can spot SLop's errors) and our cat (who is smarter and more dextrous that SLop). I'm disabled and attending grad school on an extremely part-time basis. My husband got me a Kitchen Aid mixer for Christmas. Why SLop never (rarely?) uses hers is beyond me. I don't know why I never got one before!
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#26

StuckeyGilmore

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:25 PM

Ok, now that this show has its own forum, I feel like I should watch it. When is it on?
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#27

amnewsboy

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:27 PM

Weekend AMs: 11:00am ET/PT
Tuesday PMs: 5:00pm ET/PT
Thursday AMs: 9:30am ET/PT
FTV On Demand: Now!

You will be sucked in, my friend.

Edited by amnewsboy, Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:30 PM.

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#28

glstx

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:34 PM

I am the poor unfortunate soul who tried her idea of hiding a caramel inside chocolate cake batter. It was really good straight out of the oven, all melty and tastey. But then the next day, after it had cooled, the caramel turned into a rock and I was embarassed in front of the whole office. I learned my lesson and haven't made a Sandy dish since, but have put a twist on the idea and started using caramel sauce as a filing between layers of chocolate cake. Very good and not hard as a rock.

I'm a 31 year old single female in Texas. I work in investments. So, if you know any single guys who like a girl who can learn from her mistakes, send 'em my way!
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#29

anniebird

anniebird

Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:35 PM

Welcome, StuckeyGilmore - you will love this show just for the sheer joy of hearing her, very seriously, say things like "I put these into the refrigerator to bring them to room temperature."
Please notice the incorrect usage of the word "into" - that is an extra added bonus to her normal misinformation and malapropisms.
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#30

Scrambled Eggs

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Posted Jan 9, 2005 @ 12:40 PM

Wow, this was a surprise to see an SL forum this morning.

My name is Scrambled Eggs. I post here on occasion, though mostly I just enjoy everyone else's snark. Some months back I noticed a very long thread about Semi-Homemade. Although I watch the Food Network, I hadn't heard of the show, and was wondering why so many people were discussing it. As I started to read the thread, I began to understand why. Being a glutton for punishment, I had to watch the show for myself. Despite SL's horribleness, it's worth watching for the posts.

I'm 31, female, live in San Diego. I'm a fairly good cook, though I generally stay away from anything too elaborate and rarely bake. I do use the occasional shortcut--already-shredded cabbage, canned chicken stock, some prepared sauces--because the semi-homemade concept in the right hands (like some of the stuff Rachael Ray does) does work. My favorite cookbook is Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything. He does the Minimalist recipe column in the New York Times as well.

My current tablescape is dominated by magazines that I need to throw away.
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