A little eyeshadow goes a long way.
Meeting your client is not “a waste of time.”
Jessica Simpson is actually a “rock” star.
A 4.0 from the University of Miami does not necessarily imply that you have command of the English language (i.e. "casted").
You can make it past the screening of 215,000 applicants to the final 5 only to be dismissed due to a lack of a college education.
If you’re going to prostitute yourself, you may as well go all the way and pose for Playboy instead of FHM.
Tony Danza is "one of the most popular television personalities of all time...a man whose career has stood the test of time."
Even after appearing a few times on the Apprentice, nobody still flies on Marquis Jets.
Mike Piazza has been recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists to deliver the keynote address at the American Dental Association’s next convention (for a nominal fee, of course).
You can be declared mentally unfit by popular vote. A psychiatrist’s certification is unnecessary. A wrongful dismissal suit would be thrown out of court because “everyone thinks you’re crazy.” Case closed.
Half-Indian and half-Irish genetics do not produce tennis prodigies.
It's OK (even humorous) to make fun of homosexuals, but questionable anti-Semitic comments are unacceptable.
Not only does the camera add 10 lbs, but it can also cause incessant blinking and spastic arm movements.
You can have a degree from Harvard and still fail miserably in the early rounds with immunity.
The token Asian and African-American will never be eliminated early, but will never win it, either.
The Apprentice is just a glorified Miss Universe pageant where DT is merely looking for a photogenic, well-spoken subordinate who'll just blend into the background during photo-ops. As long as DT gets his 1-hour commercial for his flagging ventures during primetime and the Apprentice-wannabes get a shot at Hollywood, everybody's happy.
Edited by Hellabored, Nov 2, 2004 @ 4:08 AM.