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Does AI Need New Judges? (And Who?)


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#1

Kromm

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:37 PM

Prompted by this comment in the AI3 topic:

Watching the tour special and a bit of World Idol and catching commercials for AI3, I'm kind of starting to think that the auditions are played out.


In my opinion, maybe its not the auditions that are "played out", maybe it's Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, and Randy Jackson.

Think about it. It's not even fun to make fun of Paula's stupid inspid comments and bad hats anymore. We've lost even that! And do ANY of Simon's comments give you joy anymore? Or even provoke you to hate him? Or are you just bored by them? As for Randy... if I have to hear "dogg" one more time I'm throwing something through my TV set.

Since we know they will never replace these people as long as they want to continue to squeeze some blood out of it, this is really just a theoretical thing, I suppose. But assuming you agree with my premise--that ALL THREE of them should go--who COULD actually work as a new AI team?
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#2

Queen B

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 5:32 PM

Well, I said that, and I sort of stand by it, but I definitely agree that new judges would perk things up in a positive way.

I'm not sure who would, or could, work as a replacement team. In some ways, I like the formula they have with the current judges. The three personalities work well and fight well together. Of course, looking at these three separately, it's hard to imagine them together working well, so it's definitely not out of the question that three equally diverse personalities could fit.

Uh, yeah. I don't know who, I just know it should change.
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#3

shalozby

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 7:02 PM

Sometimes I think they should have a rotating set of judges for the competition. Like, one night would be homeless schizophrenic night, another night would be bitter drag queen night, and another night might be trigger-temper militia member judge night...and so on.
But...I saw in the previews that someone threw a glass of water at Slimon. That was funny. I think that if they're not going to change the judges, they should at least supply the contestants with various projectiles to make it interesting.
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#4

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 7:11 PM

I wouldn't mind if they brought on that Alec Gilroy bugger we saw on World Idol as a judge. What's his name, Pete Waterman?

For the snark and cheese factor, Paula could so be replaced with "heartthrob" "recording sensation" Adam Rickitt. Just like with Paula, if he judged someone's singing, I'd fall on the ground into hysterics. Then hate him.

But for the WTF? factor that Paula also brings, why not bring on Whitney Houston?
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#5

KikiMets

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 8:16 PM

Fire Paula, hire Kuba. That is all.
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#6

kingdead

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 10:52 AM

Simon is the most played out judge, basically because no one listens to the other judges. I may have to skip the first few episodes, cause if I hear "If you won this competition, THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WOULD COLLAPSE AND THE WORLD WOULD BLOW UP" or some variant thereof one more time, I will have to attack my tv set with a feral rage. Get the man a new Speak n Say chip already.

Bitter drag queens would be good. Or Naomi Judd...ha ha.
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#7

mercenary13

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 11:12 AM

Tracey Gershon, Robert K. Oermann, and Charlie Robison.

Oh, but they are already judges on a show that focuses almost entirely on finding a talented singer. One of them has actually produced successful singers in the USA, one of them has been a respected music critic for decades and has written several books on music, and the third one is an established recording artist whose wife is part of one of the most popular singing groups in the world.

Couldn't have THAT, now! That would not make good TV. Instead, you need someone who constantly repeats his inanities, one who never says anything of any consequence, and a third one whose job is to do the nasty on people, even though he has never successfully produced a major hit recording artist in the United States, and whose accomplishments include producing a hit record by the Teletubbies.
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#8

shalozby

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 2:19 PM

So why can't they just get the Teletubbies to judge? I mean, as recording artists, they have as much industry knowledge as Paula Abdul, as bleebleeblahblahboo expertise as Simon Cowell and as many feel-good banalities as Randy Jackson. I mean, if budding singers are going to be judged by a bunch of monkeys, why can't we have that AND at least one judge who infuriates Jerry Falwell?
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#9

Kromm

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 2:50 PM

Okay, just for variety I'm going to throw out some serious ideas.

Wacky 80's Pop Icon seat --> Cyndi Lauper - Tried a comeback this year and fell on her face. So she needs work. But she's definitely talented and knows good performance. The fact that she has horrible judgement about the business end of the industry is not relevent. :-) She fills Paula's role, but somehow I also think she'd be more caustic.

Out of work session musician/producer or someone similar --> Is Todd Rundgren doing anything? Or here's a concept--Isaac Hayes. I know he's a DJ somewhere, and occasionally voices "Chef", but really... Of course unlike Cyndi Lauper these two may have no comedy potential.

Caustic bastard/record company exec --> Okay, this one I have a problem with admittedly, since most successful record company execs are fairly smooth talkers and not at all caustic. And if they aren't successful they are Simon. :-) Look how badly Johnny Wright did on that "Fame" monstrosity as a judge.

Edited by Kromm, Jan 3, 2004 @ 2:52 PM.

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#10

Tartarwarrior

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 5:12 PM

OKay, I can agree that some of the judges antics are getting a little worn, but I still think they bring something to the show. How many times did we all laugh at Simon's comments to Carmen? How many times did we all make fun of Paula's crazy drug induced rants? How many of us screamed with joy when Randy finally told the truth to folks like Caldwell and baaahhhed Carmen (Man, a lot of these are about that chick.)

I think once the judges get into the show, they are pretty good at it.
Can anyone say that the show will keep going without them? I think everyone, even Seamen is a part of why we watch. Ugh, shoot me now, I just defended the judges.

Edited by Tartarwarrior, Jan 3, 2004 @ 5:13 PM.

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#11

Kromm

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 6:14 PM

If insane antics are the benchmark instead of actual judging ability, take the example of Naomi Judd from the Star Search revival. Nobody can top her for insane wacky nonsensical comments, scoring and behavior. The fact that the show otherwise sucked is a seperate issue.

I guess my point is that we've let our distaste for the "Trio of Terror" develop into complacent acceptance and eventual enthusiasm. It's like that syndrome where kidnapped people start sympathizing with their kidnappers. Other people can be inane or stupid--we don't necessarily need Paula Abdul for that. Other people can be mean--we don't necessarily need Simon Cowell for that. And other people can sit around and be pointless and say "Dawg" a lot, other than Randy.

Maybe its the whole Angie Martinez thing--the producers felt they got burned or something. We know they aren't going to change anything, but it IS fun to speculate.
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#12

Queen B

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 6:17 PM

I think that the judges are boring and played out during the auditions. I liked them a lot last year during the show. Like meaning sometimes loved, sometimes hated, sometimes thought astonishingly irrelevant. But for the audition process? There's just so many things you can say to shitty and/or non-shitty singers. They've played that part out. But when it comes down to the F12 or F10 or F20 they'll probably have this year, it's infinitely more amusing and interesting to me. There is more to actually critique then, and Simon can't just keep telling them they are the worst singers in the world. (Although he should have - Carmen and Josh, I'm glaring at you now!)
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#13

Kylenn

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 6:32 PM

Fire Paula, hire Kuba. That is all.


Yes, fire the lot and hire the Sensible South African Judge, the Cool Belgian Judge, Kuba Wannabrewski, and Dicko.
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#14

deadpill

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 9:26 PM

Y'all are going to kill me, but I desperately want Jessica Simpson to be a judge. It would be too hilarious:

*someone sings "The Sweetest Sin*"
JS: Oh! I know who sang that song! Uhh, what was it? Britney Aguilera?

Edited by deadpill, Jan 3, 2004 @ 9:28 PM.

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#15

shalozby

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 10:02 PM

I think Stephen Hawking would make a great judge. Or a least a guest judge - hey, he'd be a lot more lively than Diane Warren.
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#16

Rachel RSL

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Posted Jan 3, 2004 @ 11:51 PM

They definitely need new judges. As far as I'm concerned, none of the 3 AI judges have anything to offer as far as actual judging goes. Simon bases all his comments on whatever mood he's in. (Typical Simon comment: "So what?" Yeah, comments like that are constructive and display a great knowledge of the music industry.) Randy's "dudes" and "dawgs" have grown so tiresome that they negate any intelligent comments he may occasionally make. And Paula, her drug-induced random babbling isn't even amusing anymore.

I would enjoy the show much more if they had 3 judges who were there to actually judge, and not just get air time for themselves. Gladys Knight would rule! She was very intelligent and well-spoken on American Juniors. Or bring back Lionel Ritchie. "Outrageous!"

Edited by Rachel RSL, Jan 3, 2004 @ 11:52 PM.

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#17

raen

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 12:15 AM

If we could part with him (hint: we can't) you could have Dicko. He can be very Simonesque in his flames, but he actually gives useful, thoughtful feedback. He is also very much a realist, often saying things along the lines of "I think you are quite talented but I just don't know how I would market you, and that is my job, to market you".

He has quite a lot of affection for the finalists and there were only one or two occasions (eg. telling Paulini she was too fat to wear that foul gold dress) that it seemed like the finalists really thought he crossed the line.

Please take Mark Holden, though. He sucks more than Maggie Simpson on go-ie. His catch cry? "touchdown!", this to an Australian audience, most of whom have never seen a game of gridiron.

Edited by raen, Jan 4, 2004 @ 12:16 AM.

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#18

aiwop

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 1:51 AM

I would take American Juniors Gladys Knight, but not American Idol Gladys. You never give only one contestant a nickname and expect your opinions to be viewed as fair. Even Simon never did that (I know, he did plenty of other things.)
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#19

representin512

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 7:44 AM

I would take American Juniors Gladys Knight, but not American Idol Gladys. You never give only one contestant a nickname and expect your opinions to be viewed as fair.


I liked AI Gladys. I took her comment to Ruben to be an observation or comparison, I never thought she intended it to become a nickname. It just worked so perfectly as a nickname that the producers took it and ran with it. JMO.

I would love to see Deborah Gibson replace Paula. I thought she had the right mix of relevent criticism and compassion (as opposed to drug induced rants) on American Juniors (er, not that I watched it or anything, Shack!) and I think she could actually bring something to the show.

Though, there does need to be snark factor, so I would leave Simon on the panel.

As for Randy, I would get rid of him completely and have a permanent space open for alternating judges. Some just celebrity famewhores, but others maybe people who are part of the legitimate music industry. For example, one week we might be blessed with an actual vocal instuctor to the stars. This person could easily give constructive criticism about the contestants' technical singing skills and what they could do to improve, while Simon makes stupid, pointless comments and Deborah attempts to build up their shattered self-esteem. I think it would work perfectly! I think those are the shoes Randy was supposed to fill anyway (as a former musician, he should have been able to give good technical criticism but he lacks the proper vocabulary). Then, the next week, we could have a professional stylist as the third judge; who can tell the kids how to improve their "style" or whatever. The next week, it could be a professional songwriter (anyone but Shift-F1(tm Shack)!!!) who might give them some insight as to what genre they might sound best singing, etc. I think that would give the show more staying power, and legitimize the process a bit.

I'm not sure how it would work in the earlier rounds, though. Any suggestions, anyone?
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#20

aiwop

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 2:19 PM

I liked AI Gladys. I took her comment to Ruben to be an observation or comparison, I never thought she intended it to become a nickname. It just worked so perfectly as a nickname that the producers took it and ran with it


Could well have been a rookie mistake, but she couched most of her other comments with "in the context of this competition", "if you get a record deal somewhere", ... etc. I have a lot of respect for Ms. Knight -- and this may just prove that it is impossible to be unbiased (or uninfluenced by Simon.)
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#21

shalozby

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Posted Jan 6, 2004 @ 1:56 PM

I just got the strange idea last night that Paula should be replaced with Homey the Clown.
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#22

Bruin4Ever

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Posted Jan 6, 2004 @ 2:12 PM

They need to replace Randy with Bobcat Goldthwait. Just because it would be funny.
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#23

DoctorNeon

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Posted Jan 6, 2004 @ 7:06 PM

I really, really want to see Henry Rollins as a guest A.I. judge.
"You suck!! I saw the Misfits perform live on Halloween. I've had bottles thrown at my head, and connect. You have no talent!! I hate you like I hate Edie Brickell!!!" (Reference material is the 1992 Spoken Word album:The Boxed Life.)
And of course, the next week they would have Edie Brickell. And the New Bohemians.
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#24

msladybird

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Posted Jan 7, 2004 @ 7:37 PM

According to our media (UK) Pete Waterman is joining AI as one of the judges, but that may not be until AI4.
Pete was the Brit judge on World Idol, calls everyone "kid" and has a great rapport with Simon- they've known each other for years! Simon acts on his old doddery persona. But they're quite a good double act.
On the downside, Pete was in his heyday during the 80's.
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#25

AgentX

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Posted Jan 7, 2004 @ 8:12 PM

After watching Pop Idol 2, Pete's kind of hit and miss. I don't think he's as funny as Simon, but he would be more insightful than Paula or Randy. I would rather them replace Paula or Randy with Pete then make him a fourth judge. The more judges you have, the more the show becomes about them.
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#26

Make It So

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Posted Jan 7, 2004 @ 8:42 PM

I agree with Gladys and Deborah. I liked them on American Juniors. They both gave constructive criticism, Deborah surprisingly moreso. I suppose we could leave Simon, just because everyone expects him to be there. Actually, I think being teamed with professionals like Gladys and Deborah would potentially cause Simon to judge more constructively. I don't think he respects Randy or Paula enough to step up his own game, but he may with these others.

Edited by Make It So, Jan 7, 2004 @ 8:55 PM.

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#27

Blake

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Posted Jan 7, 2004 @ 8:52 PM

Yes, Deborah Gibson would be perfect. She was extremely successful in the industry at a very young age, and I think she did it all -- wrote, sang, produced, even played actual instruments, believe it or not. So she really knows what she's talking about.
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#28

Make It So

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Posted Jan 7, 2004 @ 9:02 PM

Deborah Gibson would be perfect. She was extremely successful in the industry at a very young age, and I think she did it all -- wrote, sang, produced, even played actual instruments

I think this makes her much more qualified than Paula. As much as she says she can relate to these young people, it's hard for me to buy it.

why not bring on Whitney Houston?

Could you imagine? The humanity!

Nina De Man and Tooske are also good considerations. We need to raise the pretty on the panel. And if we're talking Judds, Ashley. Yeah, I know she's not in the music biz, but still.

Edited by Make It So, Jan 7, 2004 @ 9:08 PM.

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#29

deadpill

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Posted Jan 9, 2004 @ 3:48 AM

OMG, please bring Whitney Houston. I would laugh my ass off.

*Kimberly Caldwell sings a song*

Whitney: *blank*

Ryan: Whitney, Whitney, you're on..

Whitney: WHAT?! WHO'S TALKING TO ME!? YOU WHITE BITCH! SIT YO ASS DOWN. RESPECT.

Kimberly: Look at me--

Whitney: NO. SHUT UP Whore. LOOK AT ME. AND IIIII-EEE--IIII-EEEE wiiil allllllllllwaays--what are you doing bitch!? SING ALONG.-LOOOOVE YOOOOU..!!
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#30

Blake

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Posted Jan 9, 2004 @ 5:27 AM

Hee! Whitney.

If they want drama, they should make contestants judge one another's performances. Also, there should be an anti-Shift-F1 device. Like, every time someone Shift-F1s, an alarm sounds and all this Nickelodeon slime is dumped on them.
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