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#2191

SnowDog

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 5:53 AM

Oo, oo, I heard the 6 times too! She's tied with my sister's soon-to-be ex mother-in-law. I've been told that in Texas there is a limit on how many times you can get married.

It really pisses me off that gays and lesbians can't get married because it'll "ruin the sanctity of marriage" while Mrs. White!Pants can get married 6 times.
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#2192

pinhead

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 7:37 AM

I've been told that in Texas there is a limit on how many times you can get married.


No Way!! Seems ironic that BigOleTexas would put a limit on anything ! (Not a big fan) Somedays, it's all I can do to make it thru both episodes of Texas Justice.

I was so not following to logic of the TruckRing case.

"Give him the ring."

"Give me back the ring."

"Give them the ring."

Huh? Anyone?

out of curiousity, how do you guys rank the other court shows? You know,

*never miss it,
*if I have time
*if I suffer a traumatic brain injury.....

Edited by pinhead, May 11, 2005 @ 7:40 AM.

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#2193

stacim

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 8:06 AM

I always watch Judge Joe Brown, and Judy. Deal with Divorce Court and Texas Justice. Love People's Court, but she is on when JJ is on, so I only catch her when JJ is a rerun. Used to love Judge Hatchett, but I am tired of the "send the kid to boot camp, and now they are cured" too contrived to me. (I watch while I am at work, so please don't think I am nothing but a couch tater. ;) )
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#2194

CaptainSnarky

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 8:29 AM

I always watch Judy and JJB. I'd watch People's Court religiously too, but I'm usually a) at work or b) watching something else.

Concerning today's case involving the Avocado Thief, I really, really wish Judy could have thrown something heavy at him. It was obvious that he didn't take the proceedings seriously, and, given his extensive criminal record, isn't much of a contributor to society. Again, that's why I hate the free trip and money that some of these asswipes get.
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#2195

pinhead

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 8:55 AM

Whoa, Cap'nSnarky......Do you really get JJ so early in the A.M.? You've already seen today's episodes? I think I hate you. Can I move in?

And WHERE is the Judge Mathis love? OK, not here, but not even a mention? I think he's the biggest clown and rather cartoonish, but he sure busts on the litigants!! Seems like every pot head in the US is on this show.

I ,too, dislike Hatchett. Divorce Court is too hurtful ( didn't these people used to at least like each other?).

In final confession, I "do" all the rest of them. My dear sweet hubbie has gifted me (no, really, GIFTS!!) with not one but 2 DVRs. So, I can record 4 shows at once while watching another. I like to pretend this is super efficient.

Of course, I wouldn't be caught dead watching CourtTV (though they throw a great party!! Last year in NO at &, Austin Powers theme, craploads of beads and all the logoed breath strips and handcuff keychains that I could stuff in my purse!)
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#2196

Sarcastico

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 9:51 AM

out of curiousity, how do you guys rank the other court shows? You know,


I had been a big fan of JJ and TPC up until 9/11. For months -- no, years after that, my friends & I simply couldn't stand to watch these petty, stupid people and their ri-god-damned-diculous, nickel-&-dime cases. You think YOU'VE got problems??? I kept wanting to shout at these people. Try jumping from the 107th floor of the WTC because you'd rather die that way than be slowly roasted to death. Try taking a trip on a hijacked airplane, not knowing whether you're going to live or die from one minute to the next. Put yourself in the place of parents who've lost sons in Afghanistan and cell phone bills from your ex don't seem like such a big deal, do they?

Okay, the rant runneth over. But I'm done now, I swear. The turning point was when I upgraded by cable package in the summer of '03 and I started getting channel 55 from Long Island, which shows JJ 10-11 p.m. Since there's nothing on at that hour that I watch, I've been drawn back into it. It's certainly more compelling at that hour of the night than ER, CSI, or whatever (except Good Eats on Wednesdays).

Let me add my 2 cents re last night's shows. If there was a theme running through them, it was: it's better to marry and divorce than shack-up and faux-divorce, because when a marriage ends, you get lawyers to divvy up your property and you can avoid situations that lead you to shows like JJ.
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#2197

parsleysage

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 10:14 AM

I've always thought if the losers who thought of these things spent half as much time coming up with legitimate ways to make a living, the world would be a better place.

Hey, I've got one for ya, Major Misfit. From 1980 to approx 1986, twice a year I would stand in line and register at community college, get my previous student loan deferred, then drop all my classes bfore school started. How's this scam rate? I'm all legit now, don't worry. Except at the taco bar at work--I go over to the salad bar and snitch a tomato slice and hide it under the taco's free shredded lettuce--well come on now, it should be incuded!! Don't tell me I'm wrong, now...
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#2198

DrShell

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 10:36 AM

I'd be willing to bet they owned a Dyson vacuum cleaner, too.


Oh, seeing these morons with a Dyson Animal would wound me much more than a fancy ring. I want one of those fucking things so badly. Damn PET HAIR.

Anyway.

FWIW, I'm a Texan and I've never heard of any law limiting the number of marriages you can have, but I've never exactly had a reason to look into it either.

Do we want to start bids again for Tubey's Kids? (I think we should start over, as I know my own bank account ebbs and flows, and I wouldn't presume to hold anyone responsible for a bid made last month.)
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#2199

rivka

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 3:11 PM

Good news: I have my Tivo set up now, so that I am able to do screencaps:

http://www.rivkashom...ypics/JudgeJudy

That's just a test folder right now, with some test screencaps. I've since set the quality on my Judge Judy recordings to "Best" so hopefully the quality of the screencaps will be better in the future. (I'll work in the future to make sure the mouse isn't in the screencap, LOL!)

I will not be doing screencaps for every episode (I do have a life -- sort of), but I will take requests (as well as doing caps of episodes I think are particularly hilarious). I'll keep episodes on my Tivo for 1-2 days, so you have to request pretty quickly; if you're dying for screencaps of a specific episode, pop me an email at: rivkadr@hotmail.com and put something like "Judge Judy Request" in the subject line, so that I can set my spam filter to put it in my inbox. I'd prefer that you send me an email rather than request in this thread, because I don't have the opportunity to read this everyday, and you might otherwise lose your chance to get screencaps of a particularly juicy episode. And please don't be afraid to request :) I may have to put a stop to doing the screencaps eventually once I start working full time, but I can do this for a month or two, at least...

Edited by rivka, May 11, 2005 @ 3:11 PM.

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#2200

MyNextLifetime

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 5:41 PM

Concerning today's case involving the Avocado Thief, I really, really wish Judy could have thrown something heavy at him.


Best Judge Judy Ever! So many memorable moments...

Did anyone catch the look on the thief's face when the plaintiff whipped the avacado out of his hat, all I could picture was [HOMER] MMMMMM... Guacamoleeeee [/HOMER]

Then the theif correcting JJ in that Avacado is a fruit and not a veggie.

I missed the part where they said the guy actually got assaulted (flipping between the Red Sox game) Did they give any details? The picture look pretty nasty.
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#2201

R3E2

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 6:22 PM

I miss one day and I miss an Avacado thief? Who whips an avacado out of his hat? Fill me in, please! I can't stand avacado and can't imagine anyone stealing one, let alone going to court!
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#2202

SmokingCatamite

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 6:26 PM

Hee hee Avacado Idiot was fucking sweet. This guy is every piece of crap that thinks he's one witty customer and is in reality just a dumb piece of shit.
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#2203

SnowDog

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 6:30 PM

pinhead: No Way!! Seems ironic that BigOleTexas would put a limit on anything ! (Not a big fan)


As a native Texan, I feel I must respond with :-P```

DrShell: FWIW, I'm a Texan and I've never heard of any law limiting the number of marriages you can have, but I've never exactly had a reason to look into it either.


I've tried looking it up on snopes.com and I googled it, but I haven't found anything one way or the other. Maybe my dad was pulling my leg.

I watch JJ, People's Court, Judge Mathis, and Judge Joe Brown. Judge Hatchett is nothing more than a pro-boot camp talk show made up to look like a courtroom. Half her cases don't even deal with legal issues.

Edited by SnowDog, May 11, 2005 @ 6:31 PM.

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#2204

Major Misfit

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 6:34 PM

How's this scam rate? I'm all legit now, don't worry. Except at the taco bar at work--I go over to the salad bar and snitch a tomato slice and hide it under the taco's free shredded lettuce--well come on now, it should be incuded!!

BWAH! I call that vigilante justice, parsleysage. But watch out -- some snoopy co-worker might narc on ya!

I want one of those fucking things so badly. Damn PET HAIR.

Oh, screw the Dyson, DrShell, I have a Sears portable I bought for $99 that works GREAT on pet hair -- pet hair on sofa, pet hair on duvet cover, pet hair everywhere where that vacuum cleaner can reach -- it's gone.

As for today's parade of malcontents, the Avocado Ass took the cake along with taking the avocados. Pssst...dude? If you're ever sober, you might want to check into something called a "supermarket." I hear they sell avocados (or is that "avocadoEs?") there. And also canned guacamole.

rivka -- you are our hero! I'll keep an eye out for upcoming hair horrors.

ETA: As for other court shows, I don't normally turn the TV on during the day while I work -- because, well, I am easily distracted and would like to continue to get paid. I sometimes watch Judge Joe because he comes on after JJ at night. I hate that Texas Judge (Larry Joe?) and Judge Milian I've seen only a few times -- but Judge Wapner will now and forever be my favorite People's Court judge. LOVED him!

O/T: Saddest news -- my DVR has crapped out and for some reason will NOT play back the shows I've saved!! I've lost Joe Fleming (and all my Project Runways) forever! Damn you technology and your false hope of TV eternity!

ETA2: I cannot spell. I wonder if I can collect disability for that?

Edited by Major Misfit, May 11, 2005 @ 8:00 PM.

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#2205

Juneboy

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 7:13 PM

I miss one day and I miss an Avacado thief? Who whips an avacado out of his hat? Fill me in, please! I can't stand avacado and can't imagine anyone stealing one, let alone going to court!


If no one else recaps it tonight, i may do one later this evening for ya. But the case was a classic. Case in point:

JJ: Were you on probation at the time of this incident?

Avocado Deuche Bag: No.

JJ: Have you ever been convicted?

ADB: No.

Plaintiff then gives JJ the criminal background of ADB! It's like a page long with DWI, drugs, and assault convictions. His last arrest was in 2001 and he has a juvie record (which is sealed of course).

I loved ADB's reasoning. "The tree branch was hanging onto the road so I just started picking them." He had done this previously and this was the second time.

I also loved when the Plaintiff told ADB: "Leave your car and girlfriend here and walk to bank so you can pay me for these avocados!" I was yelling "Yes!" at the tv screen!

Best part for me: ADB wore a green shirt to court. Avocado's are green, get it? BWAH!

Let's not forget the second episode case of DisabilityHoundDog. He had tailbone (i think?) surgery in 1998 so he can't work. He collects disability checks of $500 each month yet is suing HappyGoLucky defendant for not paying him for building a 500 foot fence, 20x24 patio and salon! He built the fence and patio by himself! JJ said she is going to send the tape of this episode directly to the government! BWAH!
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#2206

Fipps

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 8:50 PM

I am so sick of people bitching that their baby daddies/mommas are abusive/don't pay child support/are irresponsible when they knew their potential mates were like that before they had kids with them. Use some method of birth control, you morons!


I love Snowdog!

I watch JJ of course and also Judge Mathis, because the JM time slot in my area is convenient (I work from home). I've seen Divorce Court, Judge Joe Brown, all incarnations of The People's Court, including the current one.

Today's Avocado A**hole? Oh! Mah! Gawd! "That was expensive guacamole". No sh*t, Sherlock. I kept waiting for the girlfriend to contribute so we could see why she was with this douchebag, but no chance.

Wish we could find out what happens to Mr. "Broken Coccyx So I Can't Work When It's Cold" when the local disability people find out about his extracurricular activities. You know, I've had a broken tailbone but it healed after a couple of months and my butt can't predict when rain is coming. He was so full of it!
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#2207

Major Misfit

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 8:56 PM

Wish we could find out what happens to Mr. "Broken Coccyx So I Can't Work When It's Cold" when the local disability people find out about his extracurricular activities.

I'd say his ass is busted ... AGAIN. (Sorry! Couldn't help myself!)
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#2208

GlennGlenn

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 9:25 PM

JJ "BULL!"
ADB "Bull? as in?"
JJ "as in BULL-loney!"

LMAO hehe
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#2209

blodwedd

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 10:25 PM

I know I'm being lazy for not reading through all 148 pages here, so maybe this has been talked about before. I know at least at one point there was $5000 up for grabs with every case. Has that amount changed? I believe that after the amount of money in question is decided then the remainder of the $5000 is split between the parties.

I bring this up because in the case of the a-hole Avocado Thief, Judy gave the whole $5000 to the older guy. There was never any talk about what his bills were or what he was suing for, she just gave $5000 to him. This made me laugh my ass off because it seemed Judy was so pissed with the avocado deuche bag that she didn't want him to get one dollar for being on the show.

Maybe that amount has changed though. But what a scumbag. Like when Judy asked if he had a juvenile record and he said "I don't recall." What a friggin' sociopath.
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#2210

R3E2

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 10:27 PM

i may do one later this evening for ya


Thanks in advance juneboy! I liked the summary you did so far.

What I find so hilarious about the avacados is it reminds me of a story in Beverly Cleary's (author of the Ramona Quimby books) autobiograpy. She was staying with a family while attending college and put on a lot of weight because she didn't realize how many calories were in the avacados growing outside her window. Oddly, she has a case that could easily end up on JJ involving the family she stayed with: she was supposed to bake a cake every week for them and didn't so they didn't ask her back for another year. Can you imagine THAT going down in JJ's courtroom?
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#2211

Juneboy

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 10:31 PM

Avocado Case recap

Plaintiff: TreeHuggingOldGuy is suing Avocado Deuche Bag for $5,000 for medical bills after ADB assaulted him.

JJ begins with ADB. His take:

There's an avocado tree at THOG's house that has branches that hang over the road. ADB has once before stopped, while on his way to visit a disabled person he takes care of, got onto the back of his truck and picked avocados. The first occassion, he took 16 to 20 avocados.

JJ growns that it is illegal to steal. ADB says yes that's correct.

On the second occassion, which this lawsuit is about, ADB was again going to visit disabled person. He stops at THOG's house once again, CLIMBS into the tree and the fruits begin to fall onto the ground. THOG, who is coming back from working in the neighbor's yard, sees this and confronts ADB. THOG says "Wtf are you doing asshole" while ADB says "I'm just taking a couple of avocados you old fart". Pandominium ensues with cussing between both idiots. THOG says "You should have to pay for those avocados. I want 50 cents per avocado and you knocked down at least 20." ADB, begrudingly agrees and gets his wallet out and only has $3.00. ADB says "That's all I got". THOG says, "I ain't taking this sh*t". More cussing. THOG says "I want my money. I'll hold your car and your girlfriend as ransom. You go walk to the bank and bring my money back." More cussing. ADB walks away towards his car. THOG throws avocados at ADB's truck and ADB's girlfriend is "injured". ADB gets pissed, runs around the truck and TACKLES THOG to the ground.

ADB has no defense to his action, according to JJ. He was trespassing, stealing and should've left the scene before the altercation happened b/c THOG had already taken down ADB's license information.

ADB says his girl was injured yet has no photos of her injury.

THOG has photos: red marks on arms, legs, etc.

JJ asks ADB if he has been convicted or been on probation.

ADB: No.

THOG says "Wait a minute. I got proof."

THOG presents the page long rap sheet (drugs, DWI, assault) of ADB to which ADB basically says he forgot about his past arrests.

JJ warns ADB's girlfriend, who is in court, that if ADB was not in any trouble for two years since this incident, she should "reconsider" her options since ADB was so crazy over some damn guacamole.

Ruling: THOG gets $5,000 while ADB walks out of court in his avocado-themed attire (green shirt, cowboy-buckled pants, etc.)

Edited by Juneboy, May 11, 2005 @ 10:36 PM.

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#2212

Tarheel

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Posted May 11, 2005 @ 10:48 PM

Apparently in slightly conservative leaning states like Texas they don't care how many times you get married as long as you are a MAN marrying a WOMAN. I agree with Dolly Parton--gay folks should be given the opportunity to be just as miserable and unsuccessful as the rest of the population ;)

DrShell, I am just going to email you offboards about the auction because I have a few questions that can't be asked on the boards.

As to comparing JJ to other court shows, I can't deal with most of the ghetto style court shows--especially Divorce Court. It's totally out of control, and I think it's scripted half the time. Joe Brown and the People's Court lady are about the only other two I can stand.

Recap of Santa Claus and the $5000 Guacamole:
I kind of tuned in and out as usual, but here's the deal. Avacado Asshat is such a big-hearted, selfless individual that he wanted to make some guacamole for a shut-in. Rather than, oh, say, going to the local supermarket to buy the ingredients, Avacado Asshat and his girlfriend drive over to Santa Claus' house and steal a bunch of avocados from his trees. I guess after that they were planning to continue their crime spree by lifting some garlic and boosting some limes and tomatoes...perhaps even breaking into a residence to find the necessary spices if they had the time. But alas, Avacado Asshat is caught in the act. An avacado showdown occurs. Santa Claus rages against the avacado thief. Avacado Asshat then says that Santa Claus was not very jolly and threw avacados at his girlfriend, who mostly sits there looking like she has the IQ of a vegetable (or a fruit!)

AA (heh!) says he offered to pay Santa Claus a few dollars for the avacados. JJ calls bullshit. Santa Claus says that AA assaulted him during the scuffle and shows JJ pictures of bruising on his arms. He also mentions AA's past criminal history. JJ asks him if he has ever been arrested or put on probation. AA says no. JJ gets the arrest record and sees that he's lying his ass off. Avacado Asshat tries to talk back several times about the DUI arrest. Verbal smackdown ensues. JJ tells him he can't go around stealing vegetables. He corrects JJ, telling her that avacados are fruits and not vegetables. JJ turns red and steam pours out of her ears. JJ then asks him why the hell he didn't just go to the Ralph's and buy a few avacados. "Ever heard of guacamole?" snits Avacado Asshat. JJ awards Santa Claus $5000.

Santa Claus unapologetically continues to rage in the post-trial (which makes me want to start a radical thrashing "Rage Against the Avacado Thief" tribute band: Rally 'round the shut-in!/With a jar full 'o guac!) "That was expensive guacamole," deadpans Avacado Asshat. Yes, perhaps he could start a recipe for "$5000 Guacamole" kind of like that ?Nieman Marcus cookie recipe people like to forward me about once a year. ;)

ETA: Juneboy, oops! I saw your recap when I previewed my post, but I'd already written it so what the hay, the more recaps the merrier.

Edited by Tarheel, May 11, 2005 @ 10:59 PM.

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#2213

Taoromina

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 1:53 AM

Hi, I've returned from my lurking to say one thing...

So I always thought that it was hard to get disability- at least that's what the Aflac guy told me when he sold me my insurance.

But it seems like every other able bodied (if not able mind-ed) person on Judge Judy is on disability. What gives!
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#2214

Major Misfit

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 6:55 AM

Thank you Juneboy and Tarheel for the recaps! I've just one question -- did Santa/THOG ever mention why no assault charges were pressed against AA? Because Santa/THOG certainly had a case -- and AA could have/should have landed his sorry ass back in jail.

And boo on JJ for not thinking of what Tarheel did -- from where was AA going to steal the REST of the ingrediants?

ETA: Hi Taoromina! Right with you. Sadly, I think it was poor boomersmommy(?) who was getting shafted on the disability while skeeveballs like Broke Ass seem to have no problem whatsoever faking their claims AND getting benefits. It riles the blood, I tell ya. And I hope JJ made good on her promise to send that tape to the government.

Edited by Major Misfit, May 12, 2005 @ 6:59 AM.

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#2215

parsleysage

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 7:15 AM

rivka -- you are our hero!

WORD to that! Were that we all were as selfless and dedicated to the goals of the JJ Thread as you! Anyway that you could make me a Egan Spangler screensaver????? maybe one of her bathing in her carport???

I haven't been able to see JJ for about 2 weeks, as I do not have my priorities staright and let trivial things like work, marketing, childcare and exercise take priority. But all the eppys are all safely stored on a new invention called a VCR TAPE--look into it, MajorMisfit?? Sometimes old fashioned is a good thing!!
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#2216

SnowDog

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 7:45 AM

Rally 'round the shut-in!/With a jar full 'o guac!


I would so buy that album, Tarheel. In fact, I think a JJ case-based band would be awesome. We could finally hear "The Ballad of Pole-Face Joe" and "Storm Fought the Law and the Law Won."

Anyway that you could make me a Egan Spangler screensaver????? maybe one of her bathing in her carport???


...There is not enough brain bleach in the world, parsleysage.

I know at least at one point there was $5000 up for grabs with every case. Has that amount changed? I believe that after the amount of money in question is decided then the remainder of the $5000 is split between the parties.


The $5000 has to do with the statutory maximum that can be awarded in a small claims court. It varies state by state. I don't believe the amount of the fund from which litigants are paid has ever been disclosed by the show.
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#2217

Major Misfit

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 7:50 AM

Egan Spangler screensaver

Oh, yes! And make sure it we get to see the line of demarcation between the real hair and the fake hair ponytail!

And parsleysage, I must look into this VCR thing of which you speak. Because let me tell you, there is nothing more embarrassing than having a cable technician come to your home and look through your DVR recordings, only to find 10 episodes of JJ -- along with "Riding the Bus with My Sister." At least the VCR is no one's business but my own!
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#2218

stacim

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 7:50 AM

OK, admittedly I will watch Judge Mathis if I am at home. I can't get the channel on my little TV here at work. He's on when Texas Justice and Divorce court are on, so I will watch him. Yes, he is a hoot-he cracks me up, because he is almost what my daughter would call "ghetto." He just gets down and dirty with people.
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#2219

onlyinPV

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 8:02 AM

In agreement with everyone who wonders why every lazy ass in the world seems to get disability, while people who really need it can't get it. I have a disabled daughter and have been trying to get her benefits for a year now, what a process. After yesterday I should just tell her to walk in and say "my butt's broken. Gimmee money!"
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#2220

Shnuglet

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Posted May 12, 2005 @ 8:58 AM

Tarheel, your Avocado Asshat v. Santa recap was Pulitzer Prize-winning material. My compliments and a hearty thank you for making my day.

P.S. Sorry about A-Fed.
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