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Television Characters as TWoP Recappers


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#1

Sandman87

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 1:23 PM

How about Teal'c from SG-1 recapping Angel?

"Angel is on a stage singing into a microphone. I am unfamiliar with the person named Mandy about whom he sings. Cordelia and Westley are seated. They appear disturbed at Angel's association with Mandy. Perhaps she is another vampire."
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#2

HexLover

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 1:35 PM

How about Drusilla recapping something like The Outer Limits.
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#3

Eliot

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 1:39 PM

How about Fin and Munch from Law&Order: SVU recapping Oz.


I think they'd both eventually collapse under the weight of all the crossover actors:

Fin: Holy shit! That Colonel reminds me of your buddy in the FBI! And what's that cute lab tech doing all dolled up in a half shirt and butterfly clips?

Munch: Hey! Nazi Guy! You're that serial killer we extradited from Canada! I thought you were on Death Row!

Fin: And..wait a minute...DR. SKODA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT SHANK?!!! Man, that's messed up!

Edited by Eliot, Jan 4, 2004 @ 5:28 PM.

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#4

Divaah46

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 5:04 PM

LOL to the Fin and Munch OZ recaps. And to Teal'C not quite understanding singing.
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#5

Tanker

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Posted Jan 4, 2004 @ 5:57 PM

farinacus,

I couldn't help but wonder, were those clothes really in fashion in 1978?


Yes. Yes they were. I wore some of them. I wore some of the things Fez wears.

Paris and Rory would be a great recapping team, especially for something stupid like The Real World.

Mulder and Scully doing The Amazing Race...

Mulder: Obviously, that team didn't make it to the pitstop in time because they were delayed by a secret government agency working in conjunction with aliens.

Scully (rolls eyes) Whatever, Mulder.
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#6

RhondaGC

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Posted Jan 8, 2004 @ 11:54 PM

[after a drunk Josh yells at the Capitol, "You want a piece of me?"] "Well, Josh, I was going to offer you a cookie, but now... no."


Hee! Love that one.

Actually, it would be interesting to see Mrs. Landingham's comments on a show like Six Feet Under.
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#7

Brahmsian

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Posted Jan 9, 2004 @ 1:18 PM

Will Girardi recapping The Shield might be interesting, though he probably wouldn't be as snarky as most TWoP types. How much sympathy would a straight-arrow like him have for Vic Mackey, I wonder?
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#8

shadowstorm

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Posted Jan 17, 2004 @ 2:32 PM

Count Dracula (Sesame Street) can recap Buffy.
Vun character assassination, two character assassination, three character assassination.......Mwa! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Samantha from Sex and the City can recap Charmed!
"Honey, these girls put even me to shame!"

For a great crossover, Giles should recap American Idol.
"All these contestants are rank, arrogant amateurs" ala Willow in S6

And Simon Cowell could recap Buffy's Once More, with Feeling.
""Buffy, we really like your look. But we are looking for someone whose singing has got a little more soooouuuuulllll"

ETA: Cos' Mwa Ha! Ha! Ha! is a better impersonation of Count Dracula than Mwahahahaha

Edited by shadowstorm, Jan 17, 2004 @ 8:25 PM.

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#9

valeriel

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Posted Jan 17, 2004 @ 2:50 PM

And Simon Cowell could recap Buffy's Once More, with Feeling. ""Buffy, we really like your look. But we are looking for someone whose singing has got a little more soooouuuuulllll"


shadowstorm, Bwah!! I can TOTALLY hear Simon say that!

Can't you see Giles trying to "critique" the models in America's Next Top Model, taking his glasses off with fatigue, doing his little stutter as he tries to break it to them gently?

DarkWillow watching Average Joe, The Surreal Life, The Simple Life and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance: Bored Now.
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#10

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 17, 2004 @ 2:55 PM

Ena Sharples from Coronation Street recapping Sex and the City. She'd blow a gasket.

Ena: Aye, Samantha! The Good Book says to love yer neighbour, but nowt bloomin' well like THAT!

Edited by TheCustomOfLife, Jan 17, 2004 @ 3:23 PM.

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#11

GoldfishGirl42

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Posted Jan 17, 2004 @ 3:21 PM

Stargate SG-1's Jack, Sam, Daniel and Teal'c recapping Enterprise...

J: Oh, for crying out loud, Archer, you're letting the alien hooker have free reign of the ship?
D: Actually, Jack, we let Hathor do that , pretty much.
J: Yeah, but we were under the influence of alien chemicals , what's his excuse?
S: Hey, Daniel, that guy Mayweather seems to get killed about as much as you do...
D: Man we could really use one of those UTs on missions..
J: Then what would we do with you, Danny?
T: I do not understand why this Archer is talking about gazelles. He makes no sense.
S:How is it that T'Pol is about ten times stronger than I am, yet I manage to beat up many more people than she does?
J: Humans are immature, too young, not ready for advanced technology...think these Vulcans have met the Tok'ra?
D: That Admiral Forrest must be a Goa'uld.
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#12

shadowstorm

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Posted Jan 17, 2004 @ 8:18 PM

Ooooh! Still lotsa fun to be had with this thread!

Karen from Will & Grace recapping Charmed!
"Why do they insist on letting Grace dress these characters?!"

And something I would pay to read:

Badass Faith from Buffy recapping Tru Calling!
"This show puts me to sleep for Yo! like a week!"

Edited by shadowstorm, Jan 17, 2004 @ 8:26 PM.

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#13

Scade

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Posted Jan 17, 2004 @ 11:59 PM

DarkWillow watching Average Joe, The Surreal Life, The Simple Life and My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance: Bored Now.


I think she'd have to pull out a "You poor bastards. Your suffering has to end."
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#14

Gracelessly

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Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 10:33 AM

Rory and Lorelai would have a lot of fun recapping pretty much anything that reeks. But I would love to see them The O.C.: "Hey that sarcastic teen looks familiar."

But I think that they would do best recapping Alias or 24, just so Lorelai could say "Daddy's angry."

Edited by Gracelessly, Jan 26, 2004 @ 10:41 AM.

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#15

iMissEthan

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Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 4:02 PM

I don't know how many of you watch The Office, but Tim could snark on any show, any time.
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#16

Firefly fan

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Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 4:55 PM

I think I'd enjoy watching a lot of the JoA characters recap shows, now that I think of it.

Luke and Grace recaping The O.C.:
Luke: "Now, if he knew anything, he'd have known that there's no possible way Marissa wouldn't have found out he'd opened that letter. I mean, imperically speaking, blahblahblah..."
Grace: "Shut up, Atom Boy! I'm still trying to figure out why the personal records of the mentally unstable student were lying out in the open with big letters saying "READ ME" on the folder. Does Price work there?"
Glynis: "I like Seth. I like my men brainy."
Luke: "...."
Grace: "How'd you get into this recap?"

Adam and Joan recapping Smallville:
Joan: "Lex is NOT crazy."
Adam: "Dude...look at that crater. Didn't that used to be, like, a barn? What's up with that, yo? What are you writing, Jane?"
Joan: "An assign...a fanfic. About Lex. And Clark. Please don't ask. *muttering* Ooo...you had better have a very good reason for this. 'Write fanfic, Joan. Don't ask questions, Joan. Of course I'm not the devil, Joan.'..."
Adam: "Cha?"
Joan: *reading to self* "'But Clark,' said Lex in disbelief. 'How will a herd of barely legal ungluates overthrow my father's entire empire? And how will it help me win back the heart of my pwinceth? Never forget, this is all about my pwinceth.'"
Adam: "CHA?!"
Joan: "Did I ask for your opinion?"

Edited because I forgot to stick the end of the last recap in. Never forget, no matter how much no one cares, it's all about Lana. Almost broke one of the cardinal Smallville rules, there.

Edited by Firefly fan, Jan 27, 2004 @ 2:05 AM.

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#17

Justin Cognito

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Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 7:58 PM

Joan: "An assign...a fanfic. About Lex. And Clark. Please don't ask. *muttering* Ooo...you had better have a very good reason for this. 'Write fanfic, Joan. Don't ask questions, Joan. Of course I'm not the devil, Joan.'..."
Adam: "Cha?"


Hee! God loves Clex!
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#18

pradolimon

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Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 10:13 PM

Quinn and the rest of the Fashion Club from Daria recapping something like The Simple Life or My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee.
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#19

pradolimon

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Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 10:14 PM

sorry, double post... stupid IE!

Edited by pradolimon, Jan 26, 2004 @ 10:16 PM.

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#20

nqllisi

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Posted Jan 27, 2004 @ 12:30 PM

That Admiral Forrest must be a Goa'uld.


Hee, perfect, Goldfish!.
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#21

seamus

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Posted Jan 27, 2004 @ 5:01 PM

Drusilla recapping anything
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#22

iMissEthan

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Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 12:43 PM

Brian Krakow of MSCL recapping Firefly or Buffy. He just screams fanboy to me.
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#23

steering fish

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Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 2:17 PM

Throw in Rickie Vasquez and I'll take it.
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#24

Carrie On

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Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 3:10 PM

Also, Rayanne would cook up a hot, steaming plate of "Shut up!" for Dawn and Buffy. And she'd definitely share the TWoP crush on Giles. You know how she was about Graham. Speaking of whom, Graham always brings the snark, and I could see him simultaneously disapproving of and lusting after Buffy.

I don't know how many of you watch The Office, but Tim could snark on any show, any time.

iMissEthan, are you my TV s**lm**e? [edited to protect the eyes of DC/Angel/Buffy viewers] I suggest Tim recap the (inevitably awful) American version of The Office. Or any other Brit import. He could also do a fabulous job with The Real World. He excels around the galactically stupid.
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#25

MetropolisGal

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Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 8:34 PM

River from Firefly on "Smallville":

"Lana!" [runs and hides] Too much pink."

"Lex. No power in the 'verse can stop him."

"Clark. He looks better in red."
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#26

UnfamousLoser

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Posted Jan 29, 2004 @ 6:54 AM

Carrie On said:

I suggest Tim recap the (inevitably awful) American version of The Office. Or any other Brit import. He could also do a fabulous job with The Real World. He excels around the galactically stupid.

I don't know if you watch Will & Grace, but there was an episode where Karen was mad at a British woman (I believe she was Karen's husband's mistress, but I'm not sure) so Karen's friend Jack said something like, "She's from England. Let's torture her by making her watch the American version of anything British."
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#27

iMissEthan

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Posted Jan 29, 2004 @ 12:22 PM

Carrie On, if you want to be my TV soulmate, you'll need to start posting more often, a lot more often. Although since it took me way too long to figure out what s**lm**e means, I'd have to say we're probably not identically matched.

If Tim's anything like me, he's given up on Real World a long time ago. However, he may occasionally still tune in to the Real World/Road Rules challenges and hate himself for it.
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#28

valeriel

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Posted Feb 4, 2004 @ 4:18 PM

How about Phoebe from Charmed recapping The Bachelorette? Oh, never mind! Bad idea, bad idea!! The show would be eight hours long cuz Feebs would "do" all the Bachelors!
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#29

Tabbyclaw

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Posted Feb 4, 2004 @ 8:38 PM

Firefly fan: I think I'm in love.
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#30

LinaBo

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Posted Feb 4, 2004 @ 9:11 PM

I think I'd very much like Alias' Mr. Sark to recap American Idol. He'd be snarky like Simon, only he'd be dead on all the time (not distracted by jail bait with big boobies), and he actually kills people that he doesn't like. Oh, and he's actually hot, so I would gladly read through pages and pages of the trauma just for his wonderful snarky opinion:

"Alan's feeling himself up again... that's wonderful spin, Alan. Expect your poisoned keg of beer in about 2 weeks. Which is about 4 weeks too late, in my opinion."

"I may have to off Scooter Girl simply on principle. It's not about her personality, no... it's about her poor taste in personal vehicle."

"If I were producing this show, I could easily have made Kiira's elevator have a little 'accident'. I would've even done it free of charge."
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