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TV Lessons I've Learned


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#17221

Alexandria Bay

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Posted May 4, 2012 @ 6:36 PM

Probably pretty sparse since most of the alumni are either dead or in prison.
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#17222

dietplum

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Posted May 4, 2012 @ 10:13 PM

Only desperate, horrible, no good people give their children up for adoption.

And, when said desperate, horrible, no good people do give their children up for adoption, should those children find out, they become deeply wounded and plagued by permanent feelings of unworthiness.

Edited by dietplum, May 4, 2012 @ 10:14 PM.

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#17223

scarynikki12

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Posted May 4, 2012 @ 10:19 PM

men who physically or emotionally exploit and hurt women are often (correctly) labeled as abusive


Unless the men are characters on the non-Nikita CW shows, in which case they'll be labeled as romantic heroes. On Nikita, at least abuse is correctly identified, but that's a CW anomaly anyway.
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#17224

corvus13

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Posted May 5, 2012 @ 12:22 AM

At the prom, the adult chaperones will always wind up slow dancing together.
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#17225

potatoradio

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Posted May 7, 2012 @ 11:14 AM

I am really sick and tired of the lesson that adoption is really just a tenuous arrangement until the birth parents "come to their senses." Between Desperate Housewives, Parenthood and now, apparently, Army Wives, I've learned:
  • Birth mothers completely kid (no pun intended) themselves about their choice to give up their baby for adoption and will promptly change their mind once they see their baby or realize the "truth" that they're being selfish in considering adoption.
  • Birth fathers only choose to get involved to get paid off or because they decide, however many years later, that it's convenient for them to hang out with the kid, so they drop in and expect paternal custody.
  • Adoptive parents are always complete saints and not only have to prove themselves to be superhuman before the adoption, they're also supposed to "understand" when, of course, the birth mother or father finally decides to evoke the fairy tale and reclaim h/her kid.
    The only reason a kid might stay with h/her adoptive family is if the birth parent is truly a louse.

Are these storylines supposed to make me more sympathetic to birth parents and their decision? All they've done is make me incredibly sympathetic and angry for adoptive parents.
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#17226

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Posted May 7, 2012 @ 11:42 AM

I am really sick and tired of the lesson that adoption is really just a tenuous arrangement until the birth parents "come to their senses." Between Desperate Housewives, Parenthood and now, apparently, Army Wives, I've learned:

Once Upon A Time has the best lesson of all. The adoptive mother is really The Evil Queen! Sigh...
TV lesson from this and other shows? Birth parents can sue for (and possibly gain) custody of the child if the adoptive parent(s) are proved unfit. No. If the adoptive parents are unfit or otherwise lose custody somehow, the child would either go to an adoptive family member, or the state, and would be placed in foster care. The birth parents *have no parental rights*, unless they are able to prove their rights were terminated by coercision or some other unethical manner, which would have to be proved in court. The birth parents are not default backup parents.
I am an adoptive parent and it would be nice if adoption was shown in some sort of realistic light.
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#17227

agora

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Posted May 7, 2012 @ 12:18 PM

Once Upon A Time has the best lesson of all. The adoptive mother is really The Evil Queen! Sigh...
TV lesson from this and other shows? Birth parents can sue for (and possibly gain) custody of the child if the adoptive parent(s) are proved unfit. No. If the adoptive parents are unfit or otherwise lose custody somehow, the child would either go to an adoptive family member, or the state, and would be placed in foster care. The birth parents *have no parental rights* ...

Then again, TV treats me like I'm such an ignorant I would actually confuse birth parents who gave their child for adoption with biological parents who simply separated and/or have shared custody of their child. I think it's amazing the amount of TV birth parents who actually have visitation rights these days, even in case of closed adoptions.

Anyway, Game of Thrones has taught me adoption is not always between parent and child, it's often between orphans who adopt one another, little children who adopt servants as family or bastards who adopt wild things that otherwise would be running wild.

Edited by agora, May 7, 2012 @ 12:26 PM.

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#17228

PrincessLuceval

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Posted May 7, 2012 @ 9:46 PM

I've learned that, no matter what, honesty is never the best policy, first. It's much better to try to hide whatever is happening from your spouse/significant other/friends than actually be up front and tell them. Wacky hijinks may or may not ensue. And a moral lesson at the end about how honesty is the best way to go. Until the next time.
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#17229

Cobalt Stargazer

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Posted May 8, 2012 @ 11:30 AM

Which will usually come around the very next week.
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#17230

Virginia Plain

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 6:43 AM

I'm not particularly religious, but the only prayer anybody seems to ever say on tv is "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" and usually they say this before they are murdered or someone tries to murder them, or something else horrible.
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#17231

PrincessLuceval

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 7:22 AM

And there's only one part of the Bible - the 23rd Psalm. The rest of it is just filler, I guess.
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#17232

SnarkySheep

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 10:15 AM

Also, there are only two extremes of people in regard to religion -- crazy obsessed fanatics and people who never step foot in a church. There's no such thing as a person who was brought up with some religion, but in a fairly casual way.

Courtesy of sitcoms, I have learned that if you live in an apartment, you must ALWAYS be behind on the rent, or else just barely scraping together the amount by the proverbial skin of your teeth. (Bonus points if this mad scramble ensues in Wacky Hijinks.)
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#17233

taiko

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 11:25 AM

Also, there are only two extremes of people in regard to religion -- crazy obsessed fanatics and people who never step foot in a church. There's no such thing as a person who was brought up with some religion, but in a fairly casual way.

The exception to the rule are NYPD officers/detectives.
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#17234

Shanna Marie

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 11:47 AM

Television has taught me that if a man and woman are partners in any kind of law enforcement or espionage organization (cops, spies, federal agents, etc.), at some point, they will have to go under cover as a married couple in some stereotypical suburban community or for what appears to be a romantic vacation. The "comedy" that results from this undercover assignment will depend on whether the couple has lots of unresolved sexual tension that comes to the surface because of them being forced to act the way they really secretly wish they could act or whether they actually can't stand each other and it kills them to have to pretend to love each other (though there's probably still sexual tension there, too). They may have the UST but also have some serious unresolved issues from an earlier episode, and the forced proximity of this assignment will bring all those issues to the surface so that they convincingly portray an "old married couple" that needs counseling.

At any rate, if you're a woman working primarily with a man or a man working primarily with a woman, you will have to pose as a married couple at some point in your career.
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#17235

ChromaKelly

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 1:36 PM

I'm not particularly religious, but the only prayer anybody seems to ever say on tv is "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" and usually they say this before they are murdered or someone tries to murder them, or something else horrible.


Or a creepy child's voice says it as images of an empty child's bed, a swing sways back and forth, a teddy bear lies forlornly in a yard. There may also be music box music playing in the background.
+
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#17236

SnarkySheep

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 2:23 PM

Television has taught me that if a man and woman are partners in any kind of law enforcement or espionage organization (cops, spies, federal agents, etc.), at some point, they will have to go under cover as a married couple in some stereotypical suburban community or for what appears to be a romantic vacation.


This just about always leads to Wacky Hijinks, where one uses the situation to feel up or otherwise inappropriately touch the other (i.e. kiss, smack on the butt, etc.), knowing the recipient can't say anything in front of others.

Also, there just about always leads to the two being given one bedroom with one bed to sleep in. Cue sexual tension.
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#17237

Shanna Marie

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 3:00 PM

Also, there just about always leads to the two being given one bedroom with one bed to sleep in. Cue sexual tension.


First, there will be all sorts of antics about one of them taking the bed and the other the couch, chair or floor, with them either competing for the bed or trying to outdo each other in "no, you take it" generosity. There may be some game used to determine who gets the bed, like a coin toss or rock, paper, scissors. Then, for some reason, they'll end up in the bed together, and then the sexual tension will be overwhelming.

There may also be some contrived reason they have to share the bed to preserve their cover. They may even have to snuggle, spoon or fake sex. (Although the reasoning for it was very contrived, as they were portraying a long-time married couple, who you wouldn't expect to act like a couple of teenagers who got a post-prom hotel room and had to have sex the moment after checking in, it was amusing how they faked the sex with this trope on NCIS, where the people watching them via infrared saw what looked like sex, and then when we saw what was really going on, she was lying on the bed, looking bored, while he did push-ups over her.)
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#17238

supposebly

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 6:06 PM

at some point, they will have to go under cover as a married couple in some stereotypical suburban community or for what appears to be a romantic vacation.


I learned the reason why this happens is because Russian sleeper agents always, always choose to live in suburbia. So do garbage monsters (X-files).
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#17239

janie jones

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Posted May 11, 2012 @ 10:26 PM

they may even have to snuggle, spoon or fake sex.

Even if they don't plan on spooning, they, like all people forced to share a bed, will wake up spooning.

Edited by janie jones, May 11, 2012 @ 10:28 PM.

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#17240

Virginia Plain

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Posted May 12, 2012 @ 12:42 AM

The exception to the rule are NYPD officers/detectives.


And, of course, when people go to a Catholic Church (regardless of if they are Catholic or not) and light a candle for someone during the Christmas episode.
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#17241

cosmom

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Posted May 12, 2012 @ 8:39 AM

Also, there just about always leads to the two being given one bedroom with one bed to sleep in. Cue sexual tension.

And cue snoring. But only the female will snore and it will always be so loud and obnoxious that the male cannot get to sleep

Also, there are only two extremes of people in regard to religion -- crazy obsessed fanatics and people who never step foot in a church.

There is also the young man who was raised religious, actively involved in the as an altar boy and was either molested by the priest or his friend was.
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#17242

SnarkySheep

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Posted May 12, 2012 @ 1:59 PM

Even if they don't plan on spooning, they, like all people forced to share a bed, will wake up spooning.

This also happens if two heterosexual males are forced to share a bed or sleep close by for whatever reason...one will wake up at some point to find the other all but sprawled across him, arm around him, and recoil in horror.
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#17243

corvus13

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Posted May 12, 2012 @ 8:32 PM

Also, there are only two extremes of people in regard to religion -- crazy obsessed fanatics and people who never step foot in a church. There's no such thing as a person who was brought up with some religion, but in a fairly casual way.


Booth on Bones is most definitely Catholic, and not of the crazy obsessed fanatic version. He believes in Catholic dogma, and he and Bones, the atheist, have long arguments about it which never seem to get resolved.
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#17244

SnarkySheep

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Posted May 14, 2012 @ 1:47 PM

TV Mother's Day always involves children providing their mother with breakfast in bed. No matter if they're preschoolers or teens, this ends up being unnecessarily complicated, with spills and chaos. Also, there MUST be burnt toast -- always. Apparently putting a piece of bread into the toaster is a seriously complex act which no child does for him or her own self on a regular basis, and so when it's time to make a slice for Mom, it's a feat equal to a five-course meal.

Booth on Bones is most definitely Catholic, and not of the crazy obsessed fanatic version.


Yes and no. He always argues passionately about various Catholic rules and traditions, and yet he himself doesn't really seem to follow (m)any -- he worked as a military sniper, he fathered two illegitimate children with two different women, he's engaged in numerous sexual relationships with women he wasn't married to, numerous other things. As far as I can see, it's always seemed like his main connection with Catholicism was a steadfast belief in a higher power that would take care of him and everyone in his life through all the rough stuff.
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#17245

Virginia Plain

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Posted May 14, 2012 @ 3:54 PM

Speaking of Catholics, all priests on tv seem to be Irish.
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#17246

TudorQueen

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Posted May 14, 2012 @ 4:19 PM

There are a few Italian ones, usually on Mafia shows.
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#17247

agora

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Posted May 14, 2012 @ 4:42 PM

Oddly enough, nuns come from any country, ethnicity, background, etc.
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#17248

taiko

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Posted May 14, 2012 @ 6:11 PM

And all Catholic priest have a sibling in law enforcement
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#17249

Virginia Plain

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Posted May 15, 2012 @ 4:50 AM

Oddly enough, nuns come from any country, ethnicity, background, etc.


Usually they're women who couldn't get married to someone they love, for whatever reason, and they all wear a full habit.
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#17250

SnarkySheep

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Posted May 15, 2012 @ 6:53 AM

And all Catholic priest have a sibling in law enforcement

All priests and nuns also have childhood friends that they will randomly visit, and it will cause all kinds of awkwardness between them, as the non-holy friends nervously address the person as "Father" or "Sister," clap their hand over their mouth if they utter anything even remotely approaching a swear, etc. But then Father or Sister will remind them that "I'm the same person inside as I used to be!" And everyone will immediately relax and sit around reminiscing about their wacky childhood hijinks.
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