Jump to content

24 Haiku


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.

94 replies to this topic

#1

bratschenspieler

bratschenspieler

    Couch Potato

Posted Jan 12, 2004 @ 11:44 PM

Jack -- Nina -- Hate Sex
Where's cosmo when you need her!?!
Fanfic writes itself

#2

areacode212

areacode212

    Fanatic

Posted Jan 18, 2004 @ 5:15 PM

Gustave merged the threads
So this post is now pointless
Nothing to see here!

Edited by areacode212, Feb 2, 2004 @ 10:48 AM.


#3

amelia41

amelia41

    Fanatic

Posted Jan 23, 2004 @ 7:37 PM

Nina strokes Jacks thighs.
She leans in, and then, they kiss.
Dun dun dun dun DUN !!

Edited by amelia41, Jan 26, 2004 @ 9:51 AM.


#4

Al Johnstone

Al Johnstone

    Channel Surfer

Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 5:49 AM

Hey, areacode
That link you gave with haikus
Seems to be broken

#5

Jillyree

Jillyree

    Couch Potato

Posted Jan 26, 2004 @ 8:23 AM

Twenty-Four won the
Golden Globe for Best Drama...
It's about damn time!

#6

Al Johnstone

Al Johnstone

    Channel Surfer

Posted Jan 27, 2004 @ 6:24 AM

Keifer Sutherland
Holding that Golden Trophy
Not Elisha Cuth.....



...Bert. Hello again.
This second haiku here
Is here to make sense.

#7

beatmichael

beatmichael

    Channel Surfer

Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 12:06 AM

babies are not fun
Potato Face has one, Yikes
don't give it to Kim

Edited by beatmichael, Jan 28, 2004 @ 12:08 AM.


#8

Al Johnstone

Al Johnstone

    Channel Surfer

Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 9:39 AM

You're a little late
Tator Tot given to Kim
Made the kid boil.

#9

amelia41

amelia41

    Fanatic

Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 12:22 PM

Jack and Nina watch
Ramon give new meaning to
"sibling rivalry."

#10

Brandon

Brandon

    Fanatic

Posted Jan 28, 2004 @ 9:12 PM

Help me, please
Save me from the blonde
I'm only a baby

#11

beatmichael

beatmichael

    Channel Surfer

Posted Feb 5, 2004 @ 2:57 AM

Show, Dissapointing.
please get better, please. I don't
wan't to watch O.C.

#12

Sebastian90012

Sebastian90012

    Couch Potato

Posted Feb 5, 2004 @ 4:27 AM

Rolaide I love you
and yet the writers chucked you
Please come back to me

Reiko is so hot
but why did she choose Tony
when I am right here?

Kief is my boyfriend
but has to share himself with
lots of Kieferettes.

President Palmer
has never had a plot that
I could care about.

Elisha will find
that when all is said and done
she will be typecast.

Sarah and Xander
sitting in a tree. K-I-
-S-S-I-N-G

Leslie oh Leslie
Line of Fire sucks so much and
yet you seem so proud.

Fragments of Mason
still drift across the desert
like leaves in the wind.

Penny Johnson Jerald
should get herself a pilot
and move to HBO.

I never knew how bad
a Serb accent could be 'til
Hopper showed me.

Rick was quite pretty,
Miguel was quite the babe but
Spawn chose Charlie Brown.

Beneath his snarky
outside, I think Gustave may
really be quite sweet.

Maybe Tater Tot
is Spawn's baby but she just
forgot about it.

A naked Kiefer
should be on show for every
hour of twenty-four.

Edited by Sebastian90012, Feb 5, 2004 @ 4:41 AM.


#13

JoBu

JoBu

    Fanatic

Posted Feb 5, 2004 @ 8:45 AM

Wow, Sebastian90012, these are great. So many good ones, but I favor the Mason and Hopper ones most of all.

I do like the Spawn one, though you could equally have gone with something like this:

Cougar my Cougar
Rise up, let us hear your yowl
Take Spawn from this world

#14

Al Johnstone

Al Johnstone

    Channel Surfer

Posted Feb 5, 2004 @ 10:56 AM

As I am a Brit
I am unfortunately
Missing "24"

It's showing next week
On the cabel channel, "Sky"
Which I do not have

So all that I have
Are Gustave's weekly recaps
Which are pretty fun.

The 24 vids
Should be out in seven months
So I just have to wait

I might get them sent
Because a friend downloads them
He'll send them to me

In about a week
I should be watching hours
Of "24", whoo.

The following takes
Place between 1pm and
3am, of course.

Fourteen! Fourteen hours!
Gonna watch 'em in a row
I will be so tired

But technically, no
It is not fourteen hours
Each episode ain't...

.. an hour long, no
Episodes are Fourty Five
Minutes long, uh huh.

So if I do math
So: Fourty five times Fourteen
Equals 6-3-0

6-3-0 Divides
Well into sixty minutes
Making ten point five.

Ten point five converts
Into minutes and hours.
Ten and a half hours.

That's like.. half a day
Half a day of watching it!
My eyes will be sore.

EDIT: It's an edit!
I made a little typo
But it is fixed now

Edited by Al Johnstone, Feb 5, 2004 @ 11:06 AM.


#15

Sebastian90012

Sebastian90012

    Couch Potato

Posted Feb 5, 2004 @ 6:43 PM

JoBu, my haiku
pales in comparison with
your Spawn masterpiece.

Al, I can't believe
that you wrote fifteen classics
on just one subject.

Edited by Sebastian90012, Feb 5, 2004 @ 6:47 PM.


#16

andel

andel

    Loyal Viewer

Posted Feb 15, 2004 @ 7:23 PM

Not a torture fan
But season three's boring me
Missing the Kief ass

#17

Al Johnstone

Al Johnstone

    Channel Surfer

Posted Feb 18, 2004 @ 11:18 AM

Wow. Personally
I just can't believe that Jack
Shot Nina four times.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Bye Nina, Sniff.

#18

amelia41

amelia41

    Fanatic

Posted Feb 24, 2004 @ 12:02 PM

Al, you are caught up.
Wow, 14 eps in a row,
does sound orgasmic.


----

Where did Gael go ?
I hope he comes back soon with
coffee and donuts.

Edited by amelia41, Feb 24, 2004 @ 12:11 PM.


#19

Al Johnstone

Al Johnstone

    Channel Surfer

Posted Feb 25, 2004 @ 8:47 AM

Stupid Friggin' Post
My fourteen '24' eps
Ceases to arrive

#20

amelia41

amelia41

    Fanatic

Posted Feb 25, 2004 @ 11:40 AM

Uh oh, sorry Al.
I hope you get to see them
very very soon.
--

Oops, Gael, my bad.
You are back in play, but yikes !
covered with virus.

--
Lady Mac is nailed.
There are some lies even she
can't slither out of.


Why, why, why, why, why?
Jack changes into blue shirt,
yet we see no skin.

Edited by amelia41, Feb 25, 2004 @ 11:42 AM.


#21

JoBu

JoBu

    Fanatic

Posted Feb 25, 2004 @ 12:11 PM

Poor Crystal Gael
Don't it make my brown eyes blue
I'll get over you

#22

Al Johnstone

Al Johnstone

    Channel Surfer

Posted Feb 27, 2004 @ 5:35 AM

Maybe Gael Can
Get virus sucked outta him
Making Gael Force Wind?

#23

amelia41

amelia41

    Fanatic

Posted Mar 22, 2004 @ 7:53 PM

This hiatus blows,
just like cordilla virus
through hotel air vents.
----

Sherry has David
by his presidential balls.
Will he ever learn?
--


Even if Michelle
somehow survives the virus,
her ringlets will not.
---

Note to Amador:
When Jack has you on your knees,
It's best to stay there.

Edited by amelia41, Mar 31, 2004 @ 8:20 AM.


#24

Capitoline

Capitoline

Posted Apr 11, 2004 @ 5:52 PM

Wow. Personally
I just can't believe that Jack
Shot Nina four times.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Bye Nina, Sniff.


I thought it was three
gun shots that made Nina dead.
I hate Jack for that.

Getting over it
Now that there's a classy Brit
For the villain's part.

#25

SeaBreeze341

SeaBreeze341

    Stalker

Posted Apr 12, 2004 @ 5:28 PM

It's like a phone booth, where you
will learn to obey Bitchelle, or
you will die

Don't even think of leaving the
Hotel, if you don't want to die
On your knees


In legit format:

It's like a phone booth,
where you will learn to obey
Bitchelle, or you're dead!

Don't you dare leave the
hotel if you do not want
to die on your knees

Edited by SeaBreeze341, Apr 12, 2004 @ 6:03 PM.


#26

yeahwhatever

yeahwhatever

    Fanatic

Posted Apr 12, 2004 @ 8:14 PM

Velvet Jack whispers
Harsh and angry in the night
Why won't Kim shut up?

#27

SeaBreeze341

SeaBreeze341

    Stalker

Posted Apr 13, 2004 @ 2:23 AM

5 weeks sans Kiefer
Plus stupid assclowns equals
5 days sans Kiefer

#28

beatmichael

beatmichael

    Channel Surfer

Posted Apr 14, 2004 @ 2:41 AM

Twenty-Four postponed
Damn, guess I'll go drink beer and
Listen to punk rock

#29

SeaBreeze341

SeaBreeze341

    Stalker

Posted Apr 18, 2004 @ 9:24 PM

Chappelle smokes one last
Time. We he thought he was out;
Jack pulled him back in

#30

amelia41

amelia41

    Fanatic

Posted Apr 19, 2004 @ 11:26 AM

More Valium, please.
It's getting hard to watch this
without sedatives.