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#1

chris2

chris2

Posted Dec 31, 2003 @ 7:55 PM

Oh, and let's not forget, "Hi! I'm going to be arresting you soon! I just wanted to give you plenty of advance warning! Toodles!"

Bwah!

Now, did Alice have those donuts already made and brought them with her just in case (like, what, they were out in her car?) or did she race home and churn them out in record time?

I'm lovin' Bonnie. At least she is providing some intentional humor (for a change). Days manages to keep me watching by having these out-there characters, like Susan Banks and crazy Nurse Allie (who can forget all the times Allie envisioned Carrie as a giant Sparkle-Barbie?) and now Bonnie. If only Vivien and Ivan would come back (sniff.)
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#2

thestatic

thestatic

Posted Dec 31, 2003 @ 8:52 PM

chris2, they were donuts for the hospital's New Year's bash or something. Apparently, she always makes extras, so they brought them over from her house or the hospital or somewhere...I don't know. I didn't even know the hospital had a New Year's bash with donuts.
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#3

Queen B

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Posted Dec 31, 2003 @ 9:31 PM

If only Vivien and Ivan would come back (sniff.)


If they came back, I'd come back (full time - I still have my guilty pleasure/terror moments....). I do like Bonnie, but I have to wonder why on earth she had pants on under her skirt. Quel strange.
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#4

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Dec 31, 2003 @ 9:36 PM

I have to wonder why on earth she had pants on under her skirt.


Wouldn't that be JERk's way of Telling Us Overtly That She's So Trashy? It's been used so much, it should be a plot device with its own acronym and everything. The TUOTSST. The Two-Oh-Tssssst. Oh, hell. I need a break.
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#5

DavidK93

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Posted Jan 1, 2004 @ 11:32 AM

thestatic:

I didn't even know the hospital had a New Year's bash with donuts.

Whoah. Did your local hospital not have a New Year's bash with doughnuts? What a deprived town you must have grown up in. I feel for you man, I really do.
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#6

DoctorNeon

DoctorNeon

Posted Jan 1, 2004 @ 1:36 PM

Damn Football. So Roman's biting the big one on Friday, then.
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#7

ebonygoddess

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Posted Jan 1, 2004 @ 7:24 PM

As a soap fan, I resolve to boycott daytime dramas which introduce serial-killer storylines. Hey, hackneyed head writers: Wanna save cash by trimming an oversized cast? Lack the creative talent to conceive an original idea? Why not slay your soap's aging fan favorites in a murder-mystery plot? Uh, no. The Salem Serial Killer on Days of Our Lives and One Life to Live's Music Box Killer aren't just putting beloved soap actors out of work. Their implausible, idiotic crimes are making those shows unfun and utterly unwatchable. — Daniel R. Coleridge

It seems someone at TV Guide actually agrees with us, and is willing to put in into print. A final miracle for the holidays.

You forget that Hope is Skeletor, and will stop at nothing to harness the Power of Greyskull.
Aww, Hope, why the long face?
And now Shawn and Rexual Healing can explore the forbidden love, that dare not speak its name, unless they move it over to Bravo! channel.
DoctorNeon


BWAH!! I just spit lemonade all over my keyboard. If it wasn't for gay men and James Lipton Bravo! would be so screwed.

[quote]Bo takes over as Commander of the Salem PD![/quote]
Oy, great idea. The same guy who, in the not so distant past decided that "the system" sucked ass and quit the force in order to violate civil liberties by chasing someone across the country on his own personal vendetta. Then enjoyed that so much that he and his anorexic wife (the former cop who gets kidnapped, brainwashed, and driven crazy with amazing frequency) decide to become bounty hunters in their way cool SUV. Zach could be the killer and the Salem PD wouldn't figure it out.

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#8

ratherbereading

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Posted Jan 1, 2004 @ 7:56 PM

ebonygodess I think you have figured out who the serial killer is. Zach already screwed up what with having Bope for parents. Look at his older brother Shouty McYellerson (tm someone really funny).

Although if it isn't that person, the only other logical choice would be JT. Poor kid must be so confused. First he is Bope's kid. Then he is whatstherename's kid....and I expect we will see him SORAS'd to be Will's age.

I still like Alice as the killer though. Despite the fact that she is old and crippled, if Tony can be Tony The Brady Slayer (tm someone else almost as funny), then Grandma Alice can be Alice The DooL Killer-it would be totally in character (in the world according to JERk) that she could fight off Hope in the evidence room when she apparently can barely stand without assistance.
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#9

chas87

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Posted Jan 1, 2004 @ 11:51 PM

Someone up-thread mentioned Sami temporarily losing her voice after the accident at the DiMera mansion over the summer, I totally forgot all about that. probably because of all this half-assed shit she's pulling now. Thanks a lot, JERk!
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#10

thestatic

thestatic

Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 12:11 AM

All of Sami's storylines before JERk came back on this year seemed to be pushing her toward a more mature outlook on life, actually owning up to things, etc. Then BAM! she's been de-SORASed.
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#11

DavidK93

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 2:53 AM

Oh! And if Zack really is...wait a sec. Why does that need to be spoilered? If Zack really is the killer, then Alice can manage to tell us in her last moments by pointing to the appropriate letters on the giant compass she'll fall on as she becomes the killer's last victim! (Pure speculation, really.)
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#12

DiePhoebeDie

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 5:16 AM

ebonygoddess on Hope:

...(Bo) and his anorexic wife (the former cop who gets kidnapped, brainwashed, and driven crazy with amazing frequency)


Hee. And Word.
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#13

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 12:05 PM

DavidK93:

Oh, forget Zack! Make Jennifer's unborn baby the killer! It's not like it's totally implausible, compared to what we've been getting!
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#14

DavidK93

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 1:59 PM

Hey, Jason and Kirsten did a good job, I’d say, with Shawn and Belle’s “message to the newlyweds.” It really reminded me of all the well-wishes I have on my bar mitzvah tape.

Bonnie:  Are you feeling all right?
Celeste:  Oh, yes, aside from this slight feeling of DEATH AND DOOM AT MIDNIGHT!!!!!
Lexi:  Oh, Mother.  Your uncanny accuracy in past predictions only proves that you can’t possibly be right tonight.
Bonnie:  Yes, you just listen to...wait, what?


Remind me again why everybody seems to accept without comment the fact that Tony was supposedly chatting nonchalantly with Caroline about soda bread a few days before she died? I mean, did Hope and Stefano used to sit around swapping soup recipes when he wasn’t busy kidnapping her?

Um, doesn’t the bouquet toss happen immediately after the ceremony, rather than randomly announced by the caterer’s cleaning lady, like, three hours into the reception?

Bonnie’s a good screamer, but I still don’t think anything will top the Kate/Sami screams when Lucas “attacked” them at Salem Inn.

Did anybody else laugh when Hope whipped out her piece? Have we even seen her in uniform since she rejoined the force?

I really think it would improve the show if all the victims came tumbling out of piñatas. Like, Roman could have popped out of one shaped like a New Year’s bell or something.
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#15

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 2:08 PM

Is this episode going to be any good? Because I won't bother watching it if it isn't. It comes on at 2PM Central here.
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#16

DavidK93

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 2:10 PM

I'd think you'll want to watch it if you want to match up clues to how they totally don't fit the resolution whenever it happens ;)

Seriously, I'm not the best person to ask. I just watch every ep and stopped caring long ago if they're actually good or not.
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#17

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 2:17 PM

I'll tape it, at any rate. I'm gonna tape up until January 6 (I go back to school on the 7th). I'm so bored in this house.
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#18

DoctorNeon

DoctorNeon

Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 2:18 PM

The episode was plot-pivotal so go ahead and watch it. Look for a extremely happy looking Rex, because he is dancing near Shawn, the HoYay was so thick, it was almost like a Clark Kent and Lex Luthor moment.
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#19

avocato

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 2:21 PM

. . .

Edited by avocato, Apr 10, 2006 @ 11:09 PM.

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#20

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 2:37 PM

What would Dr. Drake Ramoray do?
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#21

MrCecil

MrCecil

Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 3:08 PM

Where did he get his badge--the same place where you can be an artist if you can draw Tippy?


Pretty funny, and no one owes me a keyboard, I don't drink and read.

So I heard Roman would get either slashed, blown up, or take a big fall. I like the throat slashing. Pretty grusome. As he backed up towards the cake I thought, "Poor bastard, no one ever told him about obvious foreshadowing."

What would Dr. Drake Ramoray do?


Doesn't he do SquintActing too? Just like John "Almost blew away a squirrel" Black
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#22

Asil

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 3:21 PM

>Remind me again why everybody seems to accept without comment the fact that Tony was supposedly chatting nonchalantly with Caroline about soda bread a few days before she died?

Yeah. Then he showed up at Maggie's in the dead of night and hung around for cheese and crackers. Continuity? Never heard of it!
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#23

thestatic

thestatic

Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 3:22 PM

I loved Sami catching the boquet. That had better mean a Lumi wedding is happening next year. I can deal with it happening during November sweeps if they hook up well in advance.
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#24

terrilynn

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 3:22 PM

I found out today that my boyfriend does a John Black imitation, complete with squint and breathy "That's a fact!" HEE!! Boy's been holding out on me. If I didn't love him already, that would've done it.
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#25

thestatic

thestatic

Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:16 PM

Spoilers for next week:

Nicole thinks she is home free after destroying the last piece of evidence implicating her for Colin's murder.

Try as she might, Nicole can't seem to come between Brady and Chloe, even when Chloe is offered the lead in an opera and prepares to leave Salem.

Kate is shocked when she finds Roman's dead body in the kitchen of Tuscany. She lets out a scream, and walks out covered in blood!

Sami lashes out at John and Marlena and blames them for killing her father.

Rex turns to his family, Kate and the Bradys, in the aftermath of Roman's death.

Bo accuses Tony of killing Roman and vows to bring him down.

A samurai sword is found at the scene of the crime, and Tony is arrested due to the evidence.

In the wake of Roman's death, Bo is made acting Commander of the Salem PD.

Roman's death tears John and Marlena apart, as Marlena turns on John and blames him for Roman's death! John moves out of the penthouse!

Sami spends another night with Lucas after her father's death. The next morning Lucas surprises Sami with breakfast in bed.

Sami isn't the only one who's spending the night with someone else. An upset Bonnie stays over at Mickey's place after he asks her to spend the night!

Jan breaks into Belle's loft and slips into a sexy negligee. Jan spies on a sleeping Shawn and Belle. Shawn wakes up and thinks someone is watching them.

Shawn heads to the park and feels like someone is following him. He sees Jan and chases her! However, Nicole ends up preventing Shawn from catching Jan.

Jen goes for her next doctors appointment, and she has another ultrasound. Lexie reveals to Jen that there is a problem with the pregnancy.

Celeste has more premonitions of the killer, and receives a visit from Maggie and Roman's ghosts! Maggie and Roman give Celeste clues to the identity of the killer.

Celeste believes, based on her visions and ghostly visits, that Tony is innocent.

A jailed Tony calls Mickey and asks him to represent him. To everyone's shock, dismay and surprise, Mickey agrees to defend Tony.

Marlena pays Tony a visit in jail!


In Four Weeks...

The Salem Serial Killer's Identity is revealed on Wednesday, January 28th!

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#26

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:18 PM

An upset Bonnie stays over at Mickey's place after he asks her to spend the night!


See, this is pissing me off. Are we just supposed to forget about Maggie because this incarnation of Fat!Paulina bats her K-Mart eyelashes at him? Ew!
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#27

MrCecil

MrCecil

Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:21 PM

Maybe Tony used to go shoe shopping with Caroline and Maggie after their advanced martial arts class. They could totally be buddies. *cough*

Edited by MrCecil, Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:21 PM.

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#28

gemini_girl

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:24 PM

Great googly moogly. I just watched this show for the first time in ages and . . . WOW. It's become a parody of itself. It's like an SNL skit of a stupid, over-the-top, poorly acted soap called Days of Our Lives. It actually makes General Hospital look like Emmy-caliber primetime drama. General. Freaking. Hospital. Gaaaaaah.


Wow. I'm going to have to say a big ole freakin WORD.

ok I have one thing to say about this whole episode. STROBE LIGHT?! Wtf?! Make sure to remind me when I die that I put a strobe light in the room. Gawd that was worse than the balloons at Sonny's party after he shot his wife in the head on General Hospital.
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#29

TheCustomOfLife

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:27 PM

No, nothing's worse than Sonny shooting his wife in the head...while giving birth.
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#30

Aliasholic

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Posted Jan 2, 2004 @ 4:33 PM

I'm not quite sure if TPTB decided to make Mickey a bumbling drunk baffoon in the wake of the murder of his beloved Maggie or if John Clarke is just saying, "Fuck you all, I'm gonna phone in the most hideous performance I can muster up," or if it's a combination of both. I am horrified more by the silliness of Bonnie and Mickey than by any amount of blood JERK throws around the screen. Hey Reilly, Jason called and he wants his mask and schtick back. Stupid idiot.

Judi Evans got canned from this show for a reason years ago and I find no need for her carnival antics in the middle of a freaking serial murder story. Is it just me that cringes every time she's onscreen? Apparently the only two stories Reilly can do is over the top clown acts and murder. Nice combination, dude. Laughter and murder really are such a nice compliment to each other.

P.S. If the murderer isn't Marlena, aka Hattie (whom John will kill), then I will eat my hat.
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